


Queen's Gambit

by SpiritOfFox



Series: Armageddon Game [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Everything Else Is Just Me Bullshitting My Way Through, F/M, Hope County's Local Wildlife is Kind of Terrifying, I Have Approximate Knowledge of Many Things, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mute Deputy, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oblivious Deputy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy Scares, Seriously Slow Burn I'm Not Joking, Slow Burn, Stream of Consciousness, Swearing, joining the cult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-05-23 21:16:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 103,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14941532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritOfFox/pseuds/SpiritOfFox
Summary: Rook has no friends and no acquaintances in Hope County. She has just arrived to become a Deputy a few days before they were sent to arrest Joseph Seed.So things start a bit differently and everything goes off the rails soon enough.(AKA a sarcastic, sneaky sniper joins a cult and falls in love. Eventually. It might take some time if someone has the emotional intelligence of a brick on most days.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I'll try to correct them. Eventually. Hopefully.
> 
> This story has been in the works since May. I originally wanted to avoid posting until I've finished writing it, but I'm currently at 66k and I'm starting to get terrified. When is it going to end? Do I really have to edit the whole thing by myself? Why did I decide that writing between 1am and 4am was a good idea?

_The Queen's Gambit is a chess opening that starts with the moves: 1.) D4 D5 2.) C4_

_With 2.) C4, White threatens to exchange a wing pawn (the C-pawn) for a centre pawn (Black's D-pawn) and dominate the centre with E2–E4._

_This is not a true gambit, as Black cannot hold the pawn._

_~~~_

### PROLOGUE

_In which friendship with canon is ended_

 

She woke up, almost flailing out of the motel bed fighting the nonexisting figures from her dreams. Rook tried to twist out of the cocoon her scratchy blankets made during the night and she was completely swamped with her nervous sweat which was quickly cooling her skin in tandem with the breeze coming in from the open window.

 

On any other day, in any other place she might have noticed and called the night beautiful. At the moment she was just content to start calming down and felt the first stirrings of her utter exhaustion, despite sleeping for at least a few hours.

She stared out with a sightless gaze before she grabbed her phone from the small table next to her to check the time.

4:03.

Fuck she still had 2 hours before she even had to contemplate going to work.

So she got her earphones out and settled down to play some games and to watch a few videos.

 

She went to sleep with a familiar voice in her ear crooning a soft song, while across the screen familiar faces made idiots out of themselves, completely unapologetic and happy in a different time and place.

~~~

 

Morning came quickly after that.

It honestly felt like she only closed her eyes for one second or two before the alarm sounded.

 

She woke up, went through her morning routine, noted to herself that she should keep up with the diet her last doctor recommended, because soon she will have to add another hole to her belt and losing more of her muscle tone would be detrimental to her _new career_.

 

She never wanted to be a Deputy under a Sheriff, working in the back end of nowhere. She was supposed to travel the world, to gain experience, to live her life to the fullest, before she even contemplated settling down somewhere quiet.

And now she was here, on the first days of her job, in a completely new place, where they didn’t raise a ruckus that the brass was sending them a rookie Deputy who is also disabled to fill the place of their previous dead one.

 

One would think that would be a good point in their favor, but no. She was mute and not deaf, no matter what they believed. She heard every muttering clearly, every disparaging remark, every insensitive joke.

It really fucking wore on her patience.

She wanted to rage against them all, to shout out her grievances, to make them listen, but she could not do that anymore, right?

She should have gotten used to that fact in the last few months, but it still stung sometimes.

 

Buttoning up her shirt as high as she could, she was stuck once again by the image she made. Dark hair tightly braided out of her face, dark eyes, a few small moles, scars. She could still see the starburst peeking out over the top of her uniform and she tugged the collar up more without any luck. Her hands looked a bit rough, white scars here and there, nails cut short.

She thought she looked rather unremarkable. Probably nothing like how one would imagine the keeper of the peace, a Sheriff was supposed to look like.

 

Though if she thought about the other Deputies the Sheriff had, she was probably one of the few who looked more professional than either of them. It was surprising how much difference it made that she always tried to cover most of her skin even if she felt that she was getting a heatstroke on sunny days.

Once upon a time she was the first to chuck off her clothes, to laze around almost nude in the heat, but then she didn’t have so many scars which made people stare at her with pity and horror in their eyes. And she didn’t have to look into the mirror and remember how she got every crisscrossing silvery line on her body.

 

Shaking her head, she grabbed her rented car’s keys and closed her room behind herself. It was time to go to the Sheriff’s department and start another boring day in Hope County.

~~~

 

Arriving to her workplace presented a so-far unknown situation.

 

Namely that the whole place was buzzing like a beehive with every person inside bustling around. The air was charged with tension and she could hear the Sheriff arguing with someone.

 

Hope County was a rather calm place from what she had seen. Admittedly that hadn’t been much so far, but maybe one day she could look at the Sheriff Department and not feel like she missed every opportunity her life could have had.

 

But as the saying goes, when life hands you lemons you make lemonade.

Taking a deep breath she finally went into the building, braving the chaos and the noise.

 

The Sheriff was standing in his office locked into a shouting match on the phone. Hudson and Pratt stood outside making bets about the whole thing.

Nancy, sweet and kind Nancy saw her go whiter and quickly called for Rook.

“Honey! I made some cookies yesterday, don’t you want to try it? There is even some coffee left in the pot for you if you want it.”

Rook took the offered cookie with a small smile and hoped that she wouldn’t come down with food poisoning once again. Nancy was always cheerful and she was honestly a bright spot in the Sheriff Department, but her baking could probably lay out a bear if she got into it. First time Rook tried her cookies she spent the rest of the day puking up everything she had in her stomach.

So she smiled at the chattering woman and while Nancy turned around to fill a mug with the remaining coffee she quickly dropped the satanic cookie into her pocket.

Out of sight out of mind.

“Oh you have finished it so quickly! Take one more, honey!”

Life flashing before her eyes she quickly tried to sign to Nancy that she was full and that she hated eating in the morning and that she only wanted to drink some coffee to wash down the delicious cookie.

And then an arm wound around her shoulders and she felt someone leaning far too much into her personal space and immediately she was as tense as a coiled spring.

“Damn, Nancy! Those cookies could be weapons of mass destruction. Poor Rookie can’t even say no, so stop using her as your guinea pig.”

From what Rook gathered so far, Deputy Pratt was kind of a dick.

Deputy Hudson as always was staying out of it. She usually stayed behind, not really participating in most conversations, not really reacting to Pratt’s needling. But if what Rook knew about the death of the Deputy she came to replace, then it probably left an impact on their partner, who was Hudson.

 

She resisted twisting Pratt’s arm then slamming him into the ground with force, her molars grinding together as he was still arguing with Nancy, still putting his weight on her and her fingers started twitching.

Then the Sheriff slammed the receiver down and stormed out of his office.

The dispatcher’s and the deputy’s argument got interrupted and Pratt even stopped his touching. Rook shuffled closer to Nancy and managed a small smile at the woman, who smiled back tremendously.

Rook liked Nancy. She was a genuinely nice woman, who always had a kind word toward everyone. While Pratt invaded her space and made remarks that were always just a bit shy of being digs at her muteness.

If she had to choose between the two of them she would go with Nancy without hesitation.

She was old enough not to bother with trying to reform people, she didn’t have the time or the inclination to fight for his respect.

She did nothing to lose it, she never had it and she didn’t need or want it.

 

And that was somewhat similar to her feelings towards her new boss. Sheriff played the doting father to the other deputies sometimes, and she knew that she was an unknown to him. She didn’t grow up in the community and it was clear from her record, that becoming part of the Sheriff’s Department wasn’t really her choice. Simply put, he didn’t know how to deal with her, especially taking into account that she was just a replacement and on a probation period for the next three months at least.

 

So their conversations were rather awkward when they sucked it up and had to really deal with each other.

 

Rook thought that she might need to eventually start to reach out and make friends within the Department, but she was okay in the observer role at the moment. And like it had been only the first few days on the job...

And she was already somewhat friendly with Nancy, so she clearly wasn’t a complete lost cause in this making friends thing.

 

And while she was musing about this the Sheriff was talking all along.

 

So apparently Hope County had a cult problem.

Figures.

~~~

 

Sheriff Whitehorse was vehemently against of them going to arrest this Eden’s Gate cult leader, but the brass was convinced that the three deputies, the Sheriff himself and a US Marshall can handle arresting one measly priest by themselves.

 

Hudson and Pratt were arguing about the possible weapon arsenal of these cultists, which probably was a bad sign too. From what Rook saw in the last few days, most of the residents of Hope County had seriously enjoyed their right to bear arms because of the 2nd amendment.

 

It was a nice way of saying that most of these people were either walking weapon arsenals or had a weapon arsenal stashed away somewhere. Usually in their homes hiding under their beds, not properly locked away. Or unloaded.

 

But who was she to judge?

 

If she could have her rifle she would drag it everywhere, but no, that wasn’t possible.

It’s not like she needed her rifle in Montana even with the recent events happening in the world. It would make her feel safer, well that was what she usually told herself, though she knew that having her old rifle back wouldn’t actually make her feel safer. That exact rifle would just bring back more memories, more nightmares and she could admit it to herself.

But only to herself.

 

Maybe she would get a rifle eventually, if she actually settled down here or somewhere. Till then she would try to live using her new salary and let her meagre savings alone.

So she wasn’t one to judge others on their attachment to their possessions, but it was kind of weird for her to see civilians more gung ho about their guns then the marines she spent a large amount of her life with.

And she spent most of her training days talking shop with her fellow trainees, though those chats were more among the line of technical shop talk than what she heard from these people.

 

So as usual she said nothing, not like she could even if she wanted to, and packed up her things, checked her service weapon, checked her radio and other equipment a few times.

Everyone was on the edge of their seat and it was implied that the moment the Marshall arrived they were off to arrest this Seed guy.

And that happened way later, raising the level of their anxiety through the roof during the long period of waiting.

 

After midnight actually, when Marshall Burke finally arrived without pomp and ceremony and they were bustled into a helicopter and on their merry way.

 

Someone handed her a phone and a video started playing on it. It contained some interviews with locals (she heard about Pastor Jerome, though she had never met him face to face) and a video where a preacher gouged out the eyes of a guy who was sneakily taking a video on his phone.

Which was mildly disturbing, but she had seen far worse for lesser offenses if she took into account that this cult was apparently trying to keep a low profile and being militant, whatever is that supposed to mean in this case.

 

“Hey Rookie! Rookie, wasting your time... there is no signal out here.”

Well, it wasn’t like she was trying to have a chat with her friends or something she was just watching the video they gave her when the signal cut off the transmission.

She barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes, then caught Marshall Burke look at her for a second, before turning back to his papers.

 

“I’m crossing over the Henbane now.” Pratt announced and she saw a giant statue of a man who bore passing resemblance to the preacher in the video. She turned her head around for a second trying to see better, Some expletives and swearing from her coworkers, and she wondered about the self esteem of the guy who was okay with having such a huge statue of himself.

 

“We are officially in Peggie Country.”

Okay, what the hell did that mean? What the fuck? Maybe she heard it wrong or something? It sounded like Peggy? That was a woman’s name, right? Or not?

“How much longer?”

The Marshall’s inquiry was met with a sigh from the Sheriff as he said: “Just long enough for you to change your mind, so we can turn this bird around.”

Burke rustled the papers in his hands toward the Sheriff “You want me to ignore this federal warrant, Sheriff?”

 

“No sir.” Did it gall the Sheriff to address the Marshal as his superior, did this whole situation make his fur ruffle? That was something Rook would have really liked to know. “I want you to understand the reality of this situation. Joseph Seed, he is not a man to be fucked with.”

 

Joseph, well, will wonders ever cease. A cult leader wearing the name of Jesus’ adoptive father. How ironic. Meanwhile the Sheriff continued his speech.

 

“We’ve had run ins with him before and the haven’t always gone our way. Just sometimes... Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone.”

You could see that Marshall Burke gave no shits about the Sheriff’s wisdom. Which seemed arrogant enough, because every trained officer should have known to take into account local information and not to dismiss them outright without even investigating.

The Sheriff might not be her favorite person in the world, she didn’t really know him aside from her own biased observations, but she knew that they should have listened to him and measured his words. Not believe him unquestioned, because he wasn’t without bias, but his words could have a grain of truth in them that the Marshall didn’t know because he didn’t have any previous experience with these people.

“We have laws for a reason, Sheriff... and Joseph Seed is gonna learn that.”

Oh joy.

She suddenly had the distinct feeling that this arrest was the Marshall’s big chance to get promoted or something, because he was certainly acting like a dog with a bone to pick on.

Or a horse with their blinders on, just barrelling toward the finish line with no care about their surroundings.

 

The Sheriff was obviously thinking along the same lines she did. There was nothing that could make the Marshall back down at this point. So he sighed and told Pratt to open up a channel to dispatch, who was pretty much just Nancy and some leftover officers in the departmental building.

“Still going through with this, Sheriff? Over.”

“We are. Unfortunately still just trying to talk some sense into our friend the Marshall. Over.”

Burke scoffed and she wanted to facepalm.

Because that?

That really wasn’t the way to get Burke to stand down.

That was just waving a red flag in front of a bull which was already ready to charge at the slightest provocation.

 

What the hell was going on, did the Sheriff really not get the memo? Why was he trying to  antagonize the Marshall like this?

They were going into a possibly extremely dangerous situation and their two superiors were still having their little pissing contest. She could see Pratt and Hudson exchanging glances from the corner of her eyes.

 

Nancy wished them good luck nervously and Rook was starting to become really concerned about all of this.

 

“Maybe we should have brought Nancy along with us instead of this Probie, these Peggies wouldn’t fuck with her.” Pratt made an unmistakable wave at Rook as he spoke to the side. Might have meant it just for Hudson’s ears, but she wouldn’t put it past him to try to humiliate her just a little bit once again. Hudson just called his name exasperatedly, but said nothing else, no recrimination, nothing.

 

She wondered sometimes... what did they even know about her? Because she was sure as hell that they had never seen her actual service records because those were classified and no no-name Deputies from Montana would get access to them.

So what the fuck made her coworkers so derisive towards her? Her disability? The fact that their friend died and she was unlucky enough to get saddled with taking over his space? Their own meaningless little lives?

Did they feel threatened by a new deputy coming in and messing up their status quo or what?

 

And why the hell did the Sheriff said nothing? Or did nothing?

Because this has been out of the gently ribbing category and started to slide into outright harassment in the last few days.

 

“Why do you keep calling them Peggies?”

“Project at Eden’s Gate, P-E-G, peggies, it’s what the locals call them. It started off harmless a few years back and now they are armed to their teeth. Now they are looking for a fight.”

 

Burke was stroking his chin and measuring the Sheriff, and he must have found what he was looking for because there was a minute smirk on his face right before he asked,

“Are you scared, Sheriff?”

 

Their arrival stopped him from answering, but it was written plainly on Whitehorse's face, so Rook was sure she knew the answer.

“Compound is just down below.”

 

And okay, that was bigger than she thought, but if they had really been at recruitment and expansion for several years then it should have been something bigger, right?

“Last chance, Marshall.”

Exhale.

“We are going in.”

Pratt was still waiting for the Sheriff’s go ahead despite the Marshall’s words.

And look at that, some cultist lighting a bonfire with a flamethrower. How charming.

That guy must be a hit at BBQ parties.

 

If these Eden’s Gate guys even had BBQ parties.

 

Nancy was still on the line? And okay, if they don’t get back within 15 minutes to the copter, she might be calling in the National Guard.

No pressure.

Makes one wonder why the Sheriff didn’t do that earlier if he had the power to do so.

 

The Sheriff started speaking while looking at the Marshall... only making it clear to anyone who was listening to him exactly about whose actions was he most worried about.

“Listen up! Three rules: stick close, keep your gun in the holster and let me do the talking... got it?”

He waited for confirmation from the others, then he looked at Rook too and she nodded that she understood her orders.

With that done they climbed out of the copter and starting going toward the church.

 

Why the hell did Hudson have a shotgun right in her hands in plain view when they were supposed to have their weapons in their holsters?

 

Cultists started to look threatening enough and some of them stood up from their places and started lining the sidewalk.

Some talk about how they were all wearing badges, yet the cultist not respecting badges around here, then how they will respect 9 millimeters, and how not every problem should be solved with a bullet went on before her, but she wasn’t exactly paying much attention to them.

 

They were nearing the church and against the backdrop of the snarling dogs, she could her that  service was going on.

She was not really religious, rather apathetic towards most religions, usually swinging between agnosticism, pantheism and atheism during her days.

Lot of bad things were done in the name of various religions around the world and a lot of things are still being done. Still it felt... disturbing to have to go into a church in the middle of service and drag out their preacher, so she was glad that when the Marshall grabbed the door to stomp in, the Sheriff stopped him.

 

Quietly and calmly, she could do that. She was good at that.

She was really really good at both of those things.

 

Hudson stayed back to watch the door with her shotgun (and that was still blowing her mind... why would they let her have a shotgun here, when they weren’t supposed to be seem like a threat so the cultist wouldn’t get more angry?), and Rook went into the church.

 

Maybe the Sheriff should stop trying to tell the Marshall what he should or should not do and stop implying that he would do something stupid and the Marshall would stop heckling him back.

That would be fucking fantastic. And it would be great for her blood pressure too.

 

“You’ll be fine.” said Hudson to Rook for some reason.

She felt mildly alarmed sure, but nothing worse. The whole situation was one step away from going catastrophic and she could see that.

There was almost no chance of them making it out without problems.

 

She was cool with that.

It was actually nothing new, she had faced similar situations before.

 

“Something is coming. You can feel it come... We are creeping toward the edge and there will be a reckoning.”

The cultists cleared a way toward the preacher at the front of the church. They seemed a tiny bit angry?

For some reason.

Like how they came into their church, disturbing their service, without even an invitation?

To arrest their preacher?

Yeah, she figured that they were perfectly in the right to be angry.

“That is why we started the project. Because we know what happens next!  They’ll come! They will try to take from us. Take our guns, take our freedom, take our faith? We will not let them.”

Nice voice, clear, strong.

Really charismatic.

Kinda how you would imagine the voice of a cult leader.

“We will not let their greed, their immorality, their depravity hurt us anymore, there will be no more suffering…”

And that’s when the Marshall had enough and showed the arrest warrant into the preacher’s face. “Joseph Seed! I have a warrant issued for your arrest. On the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm, now I want you to step forward with your hands where I can see them.”

To be honest, Rook thought for a second that she wouldn’t mind being back in Afghanistan instead, because the entire arrest was quickly heading into FUBAR territory.

The cultists started getting more angry and the preacher’s words made Rook wonder whether he intended to use the cultists as his living shields if it came down to that or not, especially when Burke hands went to his gun.

The Sheriff started barking at him to not touch his service weapon, but Rook’s eyes were on the preacher the whole time.

Who quickly defused the situation with only a few words to his followers.

 

Shirtless preacher. Tattooed, scarred, shirtless preacher with a bun and only in jeans and Ray-bans. Huh.

That’s not something you usually see in churches.

 

Long coat guy walked forward as did a ginger man and a woman in a white dress. They looked at each other for a few seconds, before their attention was diverted to the preacher and to the three of them.

“God will not let them take me.”

Meanwhile Rook sized up the three newcomers.

Lacey was barefoot in a wooden church… and yeah, that was a brave decision. How many splinters did she have to dig out?

Ginger was in military gear and his stance screamed soldier too.

Coat was pretty and rocking some rather fashionable clothes.

 

Preacher was talking about seals being broken and Rook felt a shiver going down her spine.

Burke reminded him to step forward, the guy did and his posse shifted with him as he walked closer.

“And behold. It was a white horse...” he said while looking straight into Sheriff Whitehorse’s face, then he looked at Rook and held out his hands with a quiet: “And hell followed with him.”

Oh, she was Hell? That was certainly a big shoe to fill on her own.

 

Ginger was shaking his head, woman was staring at her and coat guy did too. Not that it mattered, because Rook felt like a snake being charmed as Joseph Seed stared at her without blinking.

“Rookie. Cuff this son of a bitch!”

“God will not let you take me.” Joseph stated and there was no wavering in his face or voice. The guy seriously believed that he wouldn’t be taken away by them from his flock.

She didn’t know whether that counted as arrogant or just completely justified self-assurance.

She still couldn’t look away from his eyes, which seemed to be staring right into her soul.

“Rook, put the cuffs on him.”

“Put down your guns. Take your friends and walk away.”

“Come on Rookie!”

“God is watching us. And He will judge you on what you choose in this moment.”

“Goddamnit, Rookie!”

“Sheriff!”

“Hold on, Marshall.”

“Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone…”

Then the Marshall got fed up with her hesitation and grabbed the cuffs himself and put them onto the wrists of the Father.

Standing behind the preacher he shoved him into her with a reminder that he would get all of them court martialed, because they wouldn't arrest the man immediately.

Rook caught the preacher as softly as she could and bore his weight from the sudden change in position.

Shoulders straight, feet wide and planted on the ground floor, gaze straightforward. Seed’s posse did nothing beside twitching when their leader was pushed. She looked down, then up into blue eyes behind those craptastic yellow sunglasses and nodded shortly to Seed’s small thanks. Grabbing his shoulder she stood behind the arguing Marshall and Sheriff, waiting for them to open the doors, so they can get the hell out of the place.

 

She could hear shouts from outside, the cultists getting absolutely riled up about them coming into the church.

Breath in, breath out.

Start walking.

 

Joseph walked before her without any prompting. Always matching her pace, not a word out of him. If she could see his face it would probably be serene. He seemed like a man who didn’t get rattled by most things. Maybe slightly annoyed.

 

Some cultists started throwing small rocks at the others. Not at her, probably not wanting to damage their preacher, but she still felt the whole thing was a bit laughable and she felt something like a chuckle wheeze past her lips. The moments she realized that Seed felt her amusement and tipped his head back a little to see her face, she felt her ears redden a bit.

 

She didn’t like it when someone noticed the noises she produced.

 

And she shouldn’t have laughed, but nowadays she found that she handled some situations somewhat inappropriately if you asked others.

Most people were either annoying or just plain stupid in her opinion.

 

So she flashed a razor sharp grin at the Father and led him through his flock. Then as they got closer to the copter, the cultists understandably started getting more rowdy.

 

Burke once again proved how much he wasn’t ready for this whole thing, the Father got pushed into the copter, cultists tried to climb onto their vehicle, Joseph was singing, one of them ended up in the rotors, becoming a human shishkebab and their helicopter ended up crashing.

For a second or two Rook blacked out and as she tried to clean out the blurriness from her eyes she tried to reach for the headset where Nancy’s more and more desperate voice was coming through.

 

Not that she knew what she would do with it, maybe tap on the microphone or something? She wasn’t firing on all cylinders, her brain was a bit scrambled from the crash.

 

She felt a sure grip around her reaching wrist and the Father’s face swim into her view.

“...that saved a wretch like me.” He grabbed Rook by her stuck seatbelt. “I told you that God wouldn’t let you take me.”

Intense staring for a few seconds and as the Father started turning away, she suddenly remembered that she had two working hands, so she grabbed his upper arm which made him hesitate for a second.

Seeing that she was not talking, he reached out and grabbed the headset.

 

And apparently Nancy was one of his.

Okay.

Didn’t see that coming, and it probably said something about her that the only person she liked from her coworkers so far was actually a cultist in deep cover in the department.

The Father was looking deep into her eyes once again, before he leant right into her personal bubble to say: “No one is coming to save you.”

 

Then as someone who finished their work, he climbed out of the crashed copter right back into the welcoming arms of his suicidal followers, so he didn’t see the eye roll she could not stop.

 

She needed no one to save her, she would do it herself as usual, take that! Fucking Ray-ban wearing, tattooed, manbun-ey douchebag.

 

And that was the moment she started to reach for the small knife she had hidden on her person, because the buckle was hopelessly jammed and she would probably have better luck with slashing through the textil instead of trying to force it open.

 

“BEGIN THE REAPING!”

 

Burke came to himself as Hudson was dragged out and only the fires surging stopped the cultists from dragging them away too. He wasted no seconds to try to help her, he just ran out, leaving her to her fate in the burning wreck for all he knew.

 

Rook took one last look through the fire at Joseph Seed, before she crashed to the ground and started running. Thankfully her legs didn’t get injured and she was quick to get away from the screaming cultists deeper into the the trees and the darkness. After a while, when she wasn’t shot at anymore, so she could be sure that they didn’t see her anymore, she crouched down and checked herself over.

 

She lost her service weapon, but she still had her small knife, which she put back immediately into its hiding place.

Her legs and feet were okay and she only had minor injuries, which she will have to disinfect eventually, but they weren’t immediate concerns.

 

So she choose a direction and started walking, steps light, keeping to the shadows. Her uniform wasn’t exactly the best camouflage, but it was not the worst thing she could be in.

 

Then her radio crackled and she was contacted by Burke to say where he was. Her and anyone who was listening to that channel.

Eeeeh...

Pass.

She didn’t hit her head hard enough to try to find the guy whose arrogance led them all to be here hunted by cultists and the guy who left her to die in an explosion without hesitation. She turned off her radio, and even contemplated ditching it.

 

She soon reached a barbed wire fence, which put a slight dampener on her plans. Not that she could not climb it probably, it seemed sturdy enough, though the wire at the top would give her a lot of trouble. Maybe she could find a tree large enough to arch over the road or something. Maybe even a scretch of the road which wasn’t crawling with cultists. Or maybe the side facing the water wasn’t as fortified?

 

She had options, she just had to do a little reconnaissance.

 

She walked along the fence, always a few meter behind the treeline and she heard the cultists talking here and there. They were sweeping the area, looking for her and Burke, so she was probably safer on the move then trying to engage the cultists and risk drawing them to her location or to try to hide in one of the buildings. It might be a good idea to try to get a set of the cultists’ uniforms and dress in that instead of her deputy clothes, but she was not risking turning back toward their compound to rifle through their laundry for something.

 

And without wearing a cultist uniform she probably shouldn’t try to get a vehicle, because they would probably shoot her on sight if she didn’t try blending in. Damn, she might had to really look for one of those jumpers.

 

Standing still for a second she heard an uptick in shooting, then the roaring of a car and crashing sounds. Then a modified civilian plane shot over the trees going towards the explosions. She scrunched her nose in thought and well, she wasn’t too keen to go that way.

But maybe, if the crash she heard was actually parts of the fence being destroyed, she might have a chance to slip out from the walled in area. Especially if the idiot making the ruckus was drawing all of the cultists after them.

Him.

Who was she kidding?

There was no chance in hell that was anyone else other than Burke making a mess of things.

 

She puffed out a breath trying to get the annoying lock of her hair out of her eyes which escaped from her braid, then she turned her attention back to the gap in the fence. She was right, there were some dead cultists, but nothing alive seemed to move.

She grabbed a corpse, dragged him to her hiding spot then with a small hum of apology she undressed him of his outer jumper.

 

Riffling through the pockets of dead people always seemed a bit disrespectful and stealing their clothing? Well, the thought that she was wearing something that had blood splatters on them from their previous owner and some holes from the gunshots that ended their life…

She didn’t like it, but needs must.

 

She dropped the most recognizable part of her uniform, her green outer jacket which left her in a wifebeater with her scars uncovered so she put on the jumper and tried to make things less visible.

She wished she had a cap or something but the cultists didn’t seem to believe in hats or any kind of headwear.

 

Back to sneaking around, till she found a working vehicle which she could appropriate for a bit.

 

Her luck seemed to be good enough, because among the carnage she eventually found an atv which wasn’t blown up or totalled, just the driver seems to be shot full of hole like some swiss cheese and the atv was just slightly crashed into a tree. And it still had its key in the ignition.

Certainly workable. So she took a seat on it then went toward the noises, because if they had aerial view then one lone atv going the opposite way would probably attract more attention then one slightly late cultist.

 

So she was right on time to have Burke swerve onto the road before the bridge, almost shoot her too, before he was shot down from the bridge by a fucking plane.

Talk about overkill.

 

So she crashed her atv down the side of the fence then ran and climbed down as fast as she could before the cultists searching for Burke would notice her. She eventually got down, then ran into the water and started swimming toward the nearby island.

 

Where upon reaching the shore, she dragged herself out of the water, her skin prickling with the cold, taking large gulps of air, when there was movement in the periphery of her vision then she got hit in the face by something and she was out cold.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even mad. I'm just a bit disappointed.  
> Would have loved it if I could have actually made a choice whether I wanted to help the Resistance or not.
> 
> No concrit, please. The only thing that would make me do is just stop writing and I really want to finish this story.  
> Next chapter might come in two weeks, at the moment it's around 10k and I'm going to try to finish the entire fic first, so I can wrap up anything I've missed. Chapter count is tentative, it might end up a bit more.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope it was interesting! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a girl got to do to get some clothes and food? AKA Looting Your Way Through Hope County, Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. I haven't written as much as I wanted in these last two weeks, because life decided to throw a few curve-balls at me. But a promise is a promise, so there it is... the first chapter.  
> Edited by only me. And once again English is really not my first language, so excuse my mistakes.

### CHAPTER I

_In which Rook rethinks some of her life choices regarding BDSM (no RACK in Hope County)_

 

Waking up cuffed to a bed never seemed to end well for anyone.

Though she should note that last time she woke up handcuffed she broke the nose of the guy before she nailed him in his junk unerringly. Her old hand-to-hand instructor did always say that she kicked like an enraged mule.

 

With her head swimming from the repeated head trauma she was in a murderous mood already. Waking up to a sanctimonious guy babbling at her just made everything worse.

 

Especially when she noticed that her cultist jumper and some of her clothes were taken off while she was unconscious, which made her rather unsympathetic to anything the old man was saying.

Oh and he had a lot to say...

Which was kind of mindblowing because he wasn’t there at the time and he didn’t actually know what happened in the compound, he was only making assumptions which was another mark against him on her shit list.

“Maybe I should turn you over to the Seeds.”

Right.

She couldn’t tell him what she thought about his little threat with her hands bound, but she sure as hell didn’t believe that he would give her to the Seeds.

And even if she did, she would escape. So she waited for what he would do first instead.

There was no doubt in her mind, that she would be able to get away from whatever he tried to do to her, though she tried not to dwell too much on whatever he could have done to her already.

And to be honest it was crystal clear that he wanted something from her, otherwise she wouldn’t have woken up at all... he had more than enough opportunities to kill her while she was unconscious from that hit.

 

He cut the zip ties around her wrists. She chose not to inform him that she knew how to get out of zip ties since she was fourteen and her father in a bout of sobriety showed her what to do in case she was kidnapped or something.

Not that she could have said it, and she really doubted this Dutch guy knew ASL. Or knew enough ASL to understand that he was already on a really thin ice concerning her.

 

He left her alone with a command to change her clothes and ditch anything that remained of her deputy uniform. She didn’t quite understand why couldn’t she keep her jeans at least and why she had to dress in one of his cargo pants and plaid shirts instead?

The whole thing was disturbing and she wanted out... right about that fucking second. So before she followed his command to talk with him, she wandered around the place and found the exit, which was locked, stopping her from going outside if she didn’t make nice with her possible abductor.

Or well, she could just kill him. That was an option too.

 

Though the second plan didn’t account for her finding out how to get the release hatch open and that could take some time.

 

So she went into the room where Dutch was trying to talk on the radio and noticed the giant board of Hope County’s map with the Seeds’ photos and notes pinned here and there.

What the fuck, was the only thought running through her mind while she was reading through some of them.

 

“I see you’ve found my little map. I was trying to piece together how all this began.” And after that without waiting for any input from her he just straight up launched into a speech. “I know you want to save your friends, I get it, I get it. I got friends that been taken too. But you can’t go after them, there ain’t no help coming. There is gotta be people out there willing to fight the cult, we just need to show ‘em how. We need to build us a resistance!”

 

And she couldn’t mask her incredulousness even if she tried so it was a good thing that he wasn’t looking at her really during his little rant.

Friends? What the hell, they were barely her acquaintances. Hell, she wasn’t even sure coworker actually applied when she was still on her probationary period.

Why the hell would she want to run headlong into this whole war for four people she didn’t even know really, and in this situation she didn’t even know enough about the whole conflict. It was clear that Dutch wasn’t an impartial source, he seemed to hate the cult with a passion and from what she read in the bunker he was an old man whom even his son left behind because of his paranoia.

 

So she wondered... why wasn’t he out there and raging his little war?

What was up with this royal we, when he was only trying to send her to fight instead?

He had no obligations to her, he felt no guilt in sending her into this conflict armed with only a sidearm and vague directions to ‘build us a resistance’. To do the dirty work. She was just cannon fodder to him and did he really believe that she wanted to play hero that much?

Was there something on her face that screamed that she had a hero complex, that she was the right sucker for this whole savior thing? Nu-uh. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Shop is closed.

She was nobody’s personal Jesus.

 

So she smiled and nodded to make him believe that she bought his spiel hook line and sinker, then when he gave her a radio, a gun and the keys to the door, she turned her back and walked out the place.

 

He had the whole island littered with cameras. The whole thing cycled around, because he didn’t have enough screens to constantly watch them all at the same time.

 

So she dropped her red plaid shirt between one tree and the next, then disappeared from the next camera, dropping the radio, then she was near the shoreline. In the shadows, waiting to see whether the fog would lighten up a bit, before just saying a fuck it and slipping into the water to start swimming away from the island Dutch claimed for himself.

 

Fuck him and his everything, she wasn’t a sacrificial lamb for him to build a resistance from the comfort and safety of his little bunker.

~~~

 

She swam and swam and eventually came upon a shore where she could drag herself out of the lake to sit on a tree trunk and nobody would see her. Maybe she should have grabbed the map and a compass from that kidnapping nut job before she hightailed it out of his bunker.

And should have got a bag or something. Even ditching the plaid shirt, while it was a truly eye catching shade of red, was a bit of an impulsive reaction to the whole situation, but now she was staring at her scars still gleaming from the water and she shuddered for a second even in the warm sunlight.

She needed to think about something, anything that wasn't even close to how the thick scarring looked against her skin, because at the moment it freaked her out a lot.

And she couldn't afford to have any kind of attack in the middle of this place. 

So Rook looked around for anything that could hold her attention.

 

She had no idea which sibling’s region she was in right now. Honestly she didn’t care all that much.

She just wanted to… well. She didn’t know what she actually wanted.

Maybe walk away from all this?

Could she even do that? Could she even stay just neutral?

Like when she was escaping from the downed copter the cultists just started shooting at her, so that’s probably a situation that didn’t change much. And now with her decision to run from Dutch’s tender care and his plans for her… well she might be between a rock and a hard place.

 

She sighed, grabbed her hair and started unbraiding whatever remained from her morning hairdo. Then Rook shook it out trying to pick out the odd leaf or stick she had stuck in her curls. The black wife beater and the cargo pants she ‘borrowed’ from Dutch weren’t in a too bad shape, but they were rather large on her. Her bra was probably a completely lost cause and she didn’t want to check the state of her underwear. 

 

She had very little stuff on her, the phone she had in her jeans was water damaged and cracked, her gun from Dutch was a piece of shit and probably needed to be dried out completely to be of some use.

Most of her actual stuff was in a locker in the Sheriff’s department or back in her motel room safe and far away from their possible destruction.

She unlaced her shoes and poured the water out of it. It had this bloated look, the stitching and the glue seemed to become separated at places and it made a strange sound with every step she took.  

She didn’t have a water canteen or any food. She didn’t have anything she could use to hunt though she might be able to shoot some birds if she dried out her shitty gun. She doubted that it did much damage, so bigger game wasn’t really an option.

 

Gathering up her still drying hair in a loose bun she stood up and started walking  deeper into the forest. Maybe she would find a cabin or a bunker or something as this place was supposed to be riddled with property. It was not exactly ideal to just start randomly walking but she didn’t really have a choice. She needed to find drinking water and the lake was the last resort, especially with the strange dizzy feeling she got when she was swimming in it.

 

From what she remembered from the terrain she was either in the Whitetail Mountains or just on the edge in Holland Valley. Which meant… which Seed was in charge there? One of the guys, if she remembered correctly, either the ginger soldier or the blue coat guy.

 

Not that it meant too much to her, per Dutch’s murder board one of them was supposedly baptizing people, the other was training wolves or something. And as nobody was shooting at her, she was sure that they didn’t know she was there, and she didn’t really plan to tangle up with any of them.

 

Months later when she remembered this moment, she would realize how she utterly failed in following the plan.

 ~~~

 

Water, clothing, weapons, bandages and first aid kit.

A shower, so she doesn’t end up getting some kind of urinary track infection or yeast infection from the gunk her whole body was coated in.

New underwear or at least something she can clean out enough.

Spray to keep away ticks or some herbs or a plier to get them out.

Something to start a fire with, because she was rusty with using sticks and stones to make sparks.

New shoes.

Possibly a shelter, a bag, and some camouflage if she could find anything.

Vehicle.

 

The list was growing longer and longer.

 

She trudged through the forest, not really caring at the moment who could hear her. She stopped a few times and listened for suspicious noises though, but there were no people nearby, no voices speaking to each other, nothing. Just the usual noises from a forest.

 

She really hoped she wouldn’t run into some kind of a large predator because then she would be more than a bit screwed. Maybe even dead.

So she walked and stopped, walked and stopped and made noises to try to scare away animals and she was tensed like a coiled spring ready to start climbing a tree at the smallest growling or hissing in her vicinity.

 

Then she heard a small gurgling sound and following it turned out to be a rather good decision as it led to a small stream next to a small cabin, which didn’t look completely destroyed. Maybe a bit looted, but the windows weren’t blown out.

 

Rook circled the house a few times, trying to see if there was any movement, but nothing actually moved, everything was completely still with only a few dead bodies lying around. Just to be sure she didn’t approach the cabin immediately but waited around for a bit, then went for one of the windows instead of the more obvious front door. Sliding inside she realized why was there so much silence, the house had some dead people inside too, a few of them even wearing those cultist jumpers.

 

She went to riffle through the kitchen for some things, took out a cup and drank some water from the tap, before walking out and starting to drag the corpses out of the house.

Once again she relieved a cultist from some of their clothes and tossed a jumper over one of the chairs. Maybe she could take that with herself just to be on the safe side?

 

There was a small shed and she found a shovel next to it, so she started to dig  where the soil seemed less compact. She could give them something of a funeral? It was probably a bad idea to leave them out in the open to rot and it also felt disrespectful to just leave them there when her continuous survival might depend on their belongings.

 

So she dug a ditch, piled some wood,  then put all of them in, then she found one of those flamethrowers the cultist’s seemed to like so much and put it next to her funeral site.

She gathered all the other weapons in a pile to check later. And went back to the cabin to pack up things and get ready, because she knew that burning those bodies would make a lot of smoke and she didn’t want to be there when someone came to investigate the source.

 

Back in the house she cranked the generator up and was happy to note that they had some cans of food she could take with her. And soon she would have some hot water, so she could take a shower. Her luck held up some, because she even found some underwear which would be good enough for her, though the few bras she found in the wardrobe were not even close to her size. Which might become a problem in the longer run as she didn’t think there were any lingerie shops around here.

Also she needed to stock up on thing like sanitation pads and tampons. Jesus, when did her next cycle was supposed to start? In two weeks maybe? Damn, her calendar was on her phone.

And where the hell would she get the prescription meds she needed to not be a sitting duck for the first two-three days of it?

 

She fished out some clothes and towels from the wardrobe that seemed freshly laundered, then shucked off her clothes and went to take a shower.

It was so nice to get clean and she checked herself over for any of those little bloodsuckers. She really hoped there weren’t many ticks in the county, because if she had to spend a lot of time in the forests, she would be in trouble.

 

She quickly washed herself, then her hair, afraid that the hot water would run out before she finished. Then she stood in the water spray until it started losing heat and going lukewarm.

She wasn’t any closer to making a decision about what to do, but it least she warmed up a tiny bit.

 

Rook wrapped herself up in the towels she brought in, before dressing up in her newly borrowed clothes. She rinsed her dirty clothing, then put Dutch’s stuff into the washing machine along with her underwear that really looked as disgusting as she thought it would. Standing on the fluffy bathroom carpet she finally found a hairdryer and tried to dry her somewhat cleaner shoes. In the end she found some slippers hiding under a cabinet to wear for a bit.

 

Turning the washing machine on she walked back out to the cabin, where there was still blood on the floor. Rook grabbed the backpack she saw in a corner which seemed all packed up, and quickly and efficiently checked the content. She found some useful stuff in it, all ready like someone was going on a hike yet knew nothing about what they would actually need  for hiking, but still... someone was ready to go on the run and got nowhere.

She discarded those things she deemed useless.

 

She had a map, some rope and a small compass now. She hesitated about taking the small radio with her, not sure whether the Seeds or anyone had the equipment to track her using one. Maybe it would be safe if she kept it turned off except in emergency?

She wasn’t quite sure, she didn’t have enough information about the cult’s or anyone’s resources.

 

She found some dry food she could take with her easily. She hopped up onto the counter and popped open a can to eat. Turning it around to check for a label... canned peaches. Cool, she didn’t exactly like them, but waste not want not. She shrugged and stuck a fork into one yellow fruit.

Rook always thought canned peaches looked like little asses and her grandparents had several peach trees, so every summer, it was canning them, preserving them or turning them into jam. At one point in her life even the smell of peaches caused her to feel like she wanted to vomit.

Nibbling on a slice now she considered the scissors she found in the utensil drawer. She finished eating quickly, washed her hands clean and grabbed them. She walked back to the bathroom and stood before the sink and the mirror on the wall.

Her hair.

It’s going to cause problems in the long run. She knew that. Yet, she didn’t want to cut it. She liked the messy curls, she liked braiding it. She huffed and checked on the washing machine instead as she quickly rebraided her still wet hair, securing some strands with the dozen little bobby pins she always had to use on her hair to tame the unruly mass.

 

Some time later Rook stood in the middle of the cabin, with her backpack packed, shoes relatively dry and back on her feet, her new clothes still baggy but not as baggy as her previous clothes were, with a greenish, brown T-shirt covering most of her upper body. It looked ugly as sin, but it would help her blend into her surroundings a little bit. Hopefully.

The washing machine finished and she hung everything up to dry, she was okay with leaving most of Dutch's stuff behind, except her underwear, which she dried quickly with the hairdryer, before packing it away into her bag.

So she washed the few dishes she used, straightened out things she displaced then walked out of the cabin, closing the door behind her. From the weapon pile she chose a rifle which seemed like it was in a relatively good condition and had a small scope on it. She walked to the pit she dug a few hours earlier, grabbed the flamethrower she found and set the corpses and the wood on fire, before turning the generator off.

 

She fixed the backpack on her back, then walked into the forest once again.

 

She was still missing some things she needed, but she was relatively optimistic about finding most things on her ‘list’.

 

Especially when she climbed one of the larger and sturdier trees and used the scope on her rifle to check her surroundings and realized that while the area she was in was heavily forested it was by no means uninhabited. She saw several houses and cabins strewn here and there. She just needed to be careful and avoid some people, who might be a bit trigger happy and would shoot first before asking questions.

 

Rook decided to sleep for a few hours in the tree she choose, so she wouldn’t get attacked by one of the wild animals around. And in her experience most people didn’t actually look up to check for others neither on trees or roofs. It was probably safe as long as she didn’t fall off.

 

Not that she squirmed much if she wasn’t having nightmares.

Not that she knew how to predict what her dreams are gonna be like.

So she got out the rope she found in the cabin and tied herself to the tree then dropped off into sleep after a few minutes.

 ~~~

 

Waking up a few hours later Rook felt a bit disoriented at first but she quickly regained her bearings.  

She shimmied down, the ropes once again tied to the back of her backpack.

She walked through the dark, under the moonlight in the direction of a small house she saw to the north. She stilled at every crackle around her like a scared deer, her legs tensed to run.

 

If something attacked her, the moment she fired her rifle would be the moment everyone in the vicinity would be alerted to her presence. And if something attacked her she couldn’t protect herself with the kitchen knife she took from the cabin, it wasn’t the best melee weapon to carry around.

She needed a combat knife, or a machete.

It would be nice if she had some throwing knives too, which were properly balanced. She had a good aim with those, she could get some usage out of them.

Well, if wishes were pastries…

 

She found the house, and it was completely dark. She walked once again around a few times, checking her scope every now and then when she saw movement, but it was just harmless animals scurrying around. There was some paper stuck on the front door and it seemed like a wanted poster?

 

She had to check it out, she had a bad feeling about it.

 

And yes, when she walked up to it, she saw that it was a wanted poster of her. Not an actual photo but rather a drawing of her, hair in the exact braids she went to the compound with, in the deputy uniform’s jacket and gear, under her portrait the words ‘wanted’ and ‘sinner’ in bold font.

 

She wondered who drew the portrait of her. There weren’t too many people in that compound who had the chance to pay as much attention to her face as to remember that she had a small scar running on her right cheek, or that she had a set of specific moles under her eyes.

Then she remembered Ray-Bans and the searching blue eyes behind them staring at her eyes. The Father certainly had the time to map out her face.

 

She wasn’t sure she should go into this house, but she was already here and walked up to the front door, so she was damned if she broke cover for nothing.

 

Rook pushed the door open and she found the prizes she needed.

 

There was a compact bow on the table.

All out in the open.

Like it was baiting her.

She could even see two knives stuck in the wall, which seemed to be made for throwing or at least not for common kitchen usage.

There was something that was bothering her about the setup.

It seemed… too easy?

 

She took one step, two steps and the floor was creaking under her. There was a split second where she thought she felt the wood bend, before the whole thing broke under her and she fell into a pit, narrowly avoiding being skewered by a branch.

 

Holy fucking shit, was the only thought running through her mind as she stared up at the ceiling on her back. The whole thing stank to the high heavens because the whole thing was a lure to a fucking trap. She wondered what was going to happen, did the owner lie somewhere in the vicinity waiting for the noise of someone stumbling into their little pit?

 

And who did the thing, who dug this pit and set up these branches, ready to murder someone who stepped into the house? Did the cultists use tactics like these? No... this felt similar to something she had seen in the past, but what?

She sat up in the pit as she was thinking through this and she waited a few minutes sitting down on her backside for whoever set the trap but there was no one coming. So she stood up, dusted herself off and checked to see whether she found some footholds in the packed dirt that served as the foundation of the house.

Soon enough she was heaving herself out of the hole, sat down at the edge to wheeze a little bit and noted that the hole actually went almost to the door. Probably the only thing that saved her from falling right into the deepest and most dangerous part of the man made hole was that she usually tried to tread lightly and that came to her as instinct now after years and years of training.

 

Even then she thought that it was just sheer dumb luck that the floor only broke when she was in a relatively safer area. Or that she fell and didn’t break anything. Or that she could climb out without injuring herself a lot more, or sliding back again and again till she gave up.

 

She needed to get a fucking grappling hook that was for sure and some good hiking boots. Something she can actually gain traction with in this fucking place, because she felt her shoes slip several times during the climb and she had to use way more effort to haul herself out with her legs being next to useless in this situation.

 

Standing up, she grabbed the bow and the quiver of arrows, then pulled the knives from the wall. Rook walked slowly around the cabin, tapping every feet before she actually stepped on that part of the floor, listening to echoes or anything that would indicate there was a hollow sound. Not so surprisingly, she found another hole right under the window, so she avoided it. There was a small bathroom, she filled her water bottle there and riffled through the cabinets.

 

Aside from adding more fuel to her paranoia and distrust she ended up finding a few other useful things in that Home Alone style trap house.

She now had some painkillers, a lighter, some bandages, and half a bottle of wound disinfectant. Otherwise the whole place was picked clean already.

 

In the end she walked up to the table and pushed it to the window and climbed through it using that. It looked messy, it was messy and she ended up hoping that the oustide wasn’t trapped the same way.

 

Rook looked around for a dry branch, opened the lighter and set it on fire before throwing it in.

She walked away with the house slowly being engulfed in flames and she felt a bit vindicated by it all.

 

At least it was in a relatively clear area, so there was no chance of the forest catching on fire.

Not like they were at the height of the summer with heat drying out everything, it was kind of damp and there was enough humidity in the air that she wondered whether it would catch on fire at all.

So yeah, she was happy that it burned merrily, she could admit that as she ran and slid away from there with enough speed to get some real distance between her and the growing plume of smoke.

 ~~~

 

A week passed like that.

She walked around the countryside and checked whatever cabins she found to be abandoned for things she could use, all the while avoiding cultists, cultist outposts, resistance members and resistance outposts.

 

This way she got some strong liquor in a flask  which she could use as a disinfectant in a pinch (or drink it, though she didn’t want to start relying on alcohol to help ignoring her problems), a map of the county which she was constantly updating as she travelled, some feminine products, some clothes, a sturdy canteen, a swiss knife, some more items for her medical kit. She did even take the occasional shower if said cabin had some running water still, so she wasn’t disgusted by her own stink.

Once she even slept in one of the houses after she dragged a couch to one of the corners where she had a view of her surroundings while making sure that nobody could see her.

Most of the times though she marked the house down as uninhabitable, especially if it had dead people in it or around it. And there were so many cabins like that, she just started carrying around a shovel with her to dig graves. It was a thankless work, she usually didn’t have flaming fuel or a flamethrower around to burn them and she didn’t really have the time to dig deep enough to give them a proper burial. So sometimes she burned them, sometimes she just laid them down in a ditch and put down some wild flowers she gathered around the place.

It was the least she could do.

Somebody once said that in death everyone was equal.

 

Sometimes she would sit for a while under a tree and listen to the sounds around her and she was tempted to turn on her radio to try to reach out to someone. Though she knew that there was no chance that the signal was strong enough to go out of the county. And frankly she didn’t really have anyone in there she wanted to contact.

 

Who would she call, really? The Sheriff, the senior deputies, that Dutch guy? No, she didn’t have anyone here.

 

Rook usually shook all this off, but even when she was on active duty she was never truly alone. She had her squad, or at least a spotter with her all the time.

But here and now, she was alone. She felt a bit lonely to be honest.

And the constant vigilance was started getting rather hard with only herself, so she thought about trying to make contact with one of the many roaming hunters, who seemed to buy the pelts and things from people who found them in the wilds.

 

It went a bit like this.

The hunter took a look at her, declared that she didn’t look like one of those ‘Peggie bastards’ and said that made her ok in their books and immediately asked whether she had some pelts to sell to them.

All of this peppered with derogatory remarks about how the cult would let all of them starve, how most people didn’t know how to hunt etcetera, etcetera.

They pretty much just reiterated whatever they have been mumbling already, and they didn’t really care for any of her reactions, so that was kind of a bust to be honest. But they sold ammunition and some interesting things, so she thought that if she continued hunting she could save up enough money to buy a good enough rifle and some additions to customize it enough for her. Maybe she could even sell the shitty assault rifle she was still lugging around despite never actually using it?

Though they didn’t seem too keen on buying weapons, just selling them.

 

So she hunted between raiding abandoned houses for useful objects or to replenish her supplies, and she avoided most settlements she found and most people she saw.

 

Hunting with a bow was a challenge. When she was a kid she went to archery camp for several years, because her grandmother’s ancestry seemed interesting and she wanted to try using bows and arrows because it seemed so cool in her hands. She even wanted to be trained for the Olympics in her early teens, but nothing came out of it and a few years later she shipped off.

So it was interesting to come back to using bows and arrows once again.

Sometimes... she missed how drawing back the string of a recurve bow felt. With her compound bow, it was not the same, the let off was rather strong so she didn’t have to hold the full power of it when she was aiming, but it was kind of a letdown? She didn’t even realize that she missed the feeling of holding 70 lbs of weight while staring down a target.

And she knew that if the compound’s string snapped while she was in the field? Well, she was fucked, she wasn’t sure any of the shopkeeps carried the materials she needed to fix it and she wasn’t even sure she could fix it herself. She probably needed a specialized shop for that to be honest. With a recurve she could restring the bow herself or swap out the broken arms or something, but the compound bow was ripe with possible troubles in her future.

 

So yeah, she either had to watch out for a replacement bow when the compound she was currently using broke and not if, when, because she used compounds for years as she was growing up, because adjusting a compound to her growing height and weight was cheaper than buying all the adjustment arms for a recurve every time she had a growth spurt. Or she could save enough and buy an AR-CL and mod the hell out of it.

Those rifles weren’t really the top of the line or anything but she knew how to fix it if something happened and it would serve her well enough.

 

But that was something for the future, Rook thought as she let loose an arrow which cleanly struck the deer several meters in front of her in its neck. It was a handsome buck, if it was any other day people would come and take a look at the large antlers on its head. But now that was unimportant. The pelt would go to the shop, the meat would become food for her and bait to use to lure predators, because while they were harder and more vicious to hunt, there was less guilt about killing them and not using up all of their bodies.

Hunting like this for profit, not for food felt wrong at times. She didn’t like to waste things too much.

 

So she packed a cooler found at a campsite a few days ago (and yeah disinfecting it was a bitch, but she didn’t want to take any chances) with the meat she butchered, then she put some to roast for herself to eat while she made baits. Still there was a lot of meat left and she wondered whether she should retreat and wait for wolves or some other predator to show up and eat it.

She checked the meat she was roasting and she started eating it from her knife when she deemed it completely done.

 

Chewing on the game meat, she heard something crack and it sounded different from the occasional log cracking in the fire. Rook carefully felt for her bow, then whirled around drawing it immediately when she heard the noise again from the forest behind her. Whoever was coming her way haven’t seen her so far, but if she stayed they would.

 

Should she take the gamble that they might try to shoot her on sight or should she run while she could?

She could easily grab the cooler and run, the pelts and her bag were never far from her. She still hesitated though she wasn’t sure why.

Was she really this starved for human contact that she would endanger herself?

 

In the end the answer was yes, she found.

 

She stood at the edge of the clearing bow clearly drawn and pointed at the intruders. Maybe it was a stupid decision and certainly one of her more impulsive ones, but she didn’t even care anymore.

 

It was a cultist, three kids and an older woman. It was clear the older woman was in charge and the cultist was the guard of their little group. Rook wondered what they were doing here and hoped that the baseball cap on her head covered enough of her face and that added to the late hour would mean that they didn’t recognize her from the black and white wanted posters she had.

Because she fucking forgot for a few minutes that she was a wanted woman around these parts of fucking course and then she managed to run into a cultist almost immediately.

 

She knew the exact moment that they noticed her next to the fire, because the cultist drew his gun and aimed straight at her. It was the same shitty assault rifle she had on her so she knew that at this distance it would be next useless because of the bullet spray.

She stood and took a step back, then another and was ready to run if they came any closer, when the old woman laid her hand on the cultist’s weapon and pushed it down while walking forward with such determined stride, that Rook once again tensed from not knowing what to do.

She stopped several feet away and smiled at Rook.

“Hello, dear. We just saw the fire and thought to ask whether we could stay in this camp for the night. My name is Mabelle and that’s Benny. The boys are Joshua, Adam and Peter.”

Rook slowly nodded and lowered her bow. Mabelle’s smile became stronger as she waved back to the kids and the cultist.

In the end, they all ended up around the fire, the cultist’s hands always near his rifle as Rook carved up more of the deer to feed the kids.

Kids were kids, come hell or high water and they needed to eat enough to be able to grow up especially in times like these. Mabelle chattered away, the kids munched on strips of meat and Rook occasionally nodded, while still keeping her head down.

“Thank you, dear. We really needed to get through the forest, but we seemed to get turned around and might have got a bit lost. Do you have any idea where we are exactly?” Rook looked up from her work and made a noncommittal shrug. She took off the gloves she used to butcher animals and got her map out of her backpack to show to the older woman while being careful to keep out of the reach of the cultist with the gun.

Standing before them, Rook unfolded it and poked at a spot which had the word “Caribou” written in blue pen with her small neat handwriting.

“Ah, I see. So the north is that way. We made such a large detour, it’s no wonder we haven’t arrived on time!”

The kids started looking rather sleepy now that their bellies were starting to feel full, leaning against their cultist guard. It was obvious they weren’t prepared for a hike and Rook wondered what happened to their vehicle, because they surely were travelling in one?

So she asked, with her hands forming the signs without much thought.

“What happened to your car?”

Mabelle looked surprised for a second, then brightened like she finally figured out something. “Oh dear, I speak some ASL though not much to be very proficient. You asked about our car, right?”

Rook nodded shortly and waited for the older woman to continue.

“We had a small defect on the road and thought it was safer to abandon our car as we were rather close to our destination. We did manage to mess that up though, didn’t we?” she laughed and Rook was struck by nostalgia for a second.

It was a no brainer what she would do.

Originally she would have gotten farther away and hunted some more, but she already had enough pelts to sell, so it wouldn’t be a problem if she didn’t get any more that night. She wouldn’t want to leave three kids almost alone with only one guy having some kind of visible weapon, in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night, so she would play guard if it was needed.

“Stay here for the night. It’s easier to hike during the day when you can actually see things.”

Mabelle looked carefully at her hands, so Rook repeated it a few times slower so she would catch all of the signs.

“Thank you, my dear.”

Rook sat down out of the way, keeping her back to a tree, her bow in her lap, an arrow in place so she could draw it quicker. She had the rifle next to her, and she listened to the sounds around her. Soon she could hear soft snores from the kids and felt a small grin on her face, kids were one of the strongest beings she knew, always ready to bounce back from things, it was rather admirable. She took a look at the gruff cultist being used as a pillow as he leaned against a rock. Mabelle was asleep too, one of the boys curled into her.

An hour or two passed like this and Rook occasionally raised herself out of her slouch to track an animal who ventured too close to their fire. Some predators, like wolverines, didn’t really care that there was a fire going or a group of humans around it, they would still attack if given a chance.

Eventually, Benny the cultist (though she was sure that Mabelle was a cultist too and the kids’ families were probably part of it too) graced her with some gruff words:

“You are one of those sinners on the posters.”

She didn’t look up, just hummed for a second and continued scanning the treeline.

“One of the people who came to the compound to take away the Father.”

Rook looked up sharply at that and stared at the man who seemed more curious than wrathful despite having recognized her.

It was a vain hope that her cap and trying to cover her face would be enough to fool the man when they have been spending the last few hours staring either at the forest around them or at each other waiting for the other to pull a gun or something.

At least he didn’t seem homicidal about it.

She grunted in reply and as it was too late to try to deny it she signed a quick yes, while taking off her baseball cap. Oh, how she hated that thing on her head, it felt so good to feel the breeze on her forehead and in her hair.

“Why are you helping us?”

That was the million dollar question. She usually would observe a situation thoroughly first before making a decision, but sometimes her impulsiveness reared its ugly head and she got into situations where she didn’t exactly know how she would handle her little on the spot choices in the longer run.

Like now.

 

So she shrugged once again, not sure whether she could find the words she wanted to say, the words she needed to say.

She knew that the cultists weren’t all foaming in the mouth raving mad men. She figured that one out pretty quickly.

 

At the moment she knew that she was running and hiding, but if that was they way to get a somehow clear and unbiased information, then that’s what she would do. She was kind of tired of people who tried to manipulate her into doing their work.

 

But generally people frowned when something like this topic came up and she answered with something less than conventional, so she vaguely gestured toward the kids as if to say that they were the only reason.

And to be honest, they were really one of the reasons. If it was only the two adult cultists, she would have booked it the second they came into view, because she wasn’t sure whether they would try to shoot her or not, and it was still a gamble to bank on the fact that they probably wouldn’t shoot her in front of the kids.

 

Benny looked at her, hair kind of messed up, dark eyes dancing with the flames, and most of his mouth was obscured by the truly impressive beard most cultists had, but she thought she saw a slight curl of his mouth? She wasn’t sure and she didn’t really care, but it made some of her tension release just a tiny little bit.

 

She had an inkling where they were going and she knew that they were in a relatively safe place for them to cross over. The militia didn’t have many footholds in the area, it was pretty much cultist territory starting like a mile from their current place.

 

So a few hours later Mabelle woke up and the kid in her arms started awakening too. Rook took out some meat from the cooler and fried it as breakfast, which roused the remaining kids too. While they were eating and Rook was putting away her knives, Mabelle started getting ready to head out and Benny was popping out his shoulders and straightening his spine from the position he spent the last few hours in. Rook tugged her cap down again, though she didn’t know what was the use of it anymore.

Mabelle smiled at her and held out her hands, so Rook put one of her own hands in them.

“Thank you, my dear for your help.” One hand covering hers, her eyes searching her more covered ones. “Would you like to come with us? We could always use help with hunting, if you wanted to.”

Rook wasn’t sure what to think, because she wasn’t sure whether waltzing into any of the cult outpost’s would be safe for her what with the ever present threat of that wanted poster.

What would have happened if she walked into one anyway? Would she get riddled with bullets the second they recognized her? Would she get dragged before the Seeds? Would she be okay?

 

She wasn’t sure and she wasn’t sure she wanted to figure it out now so she shook her head and tugged her hand out of the gentle grip, while signing: “You should head North. That’s safe for you.” and pushed the cooler in her hand before she could change her mind.

 

And when they went, with a grudging parting nod from Benny and a small wave from the quiet kids, who seemed so tired of everything, Mabelle asked her one more time and she felt herself wavering for a second before shaking her head once again. She wasn’t sure that trusting anyone was the right thing to do just because they showed an ounce of kindness towards her.

So she waited for a bit for them to disappear in the light morning fog, before turning towards last night’s kill and grabbed the buck by its antlers and dragged it into the forest.

Hopefully some predator would take care of the carcass now that it’s in a more secluded area and out of the way.

With that done she grabbed her things, finished packing up, snuffed the fire completely and walked into the forest to try to find a shop to sell her loot, before she could go to sleep in a somewhat safe place.

 ~~~

 

Once again trouble started when Rook decided to seek out someone. Granted it was just a  shopkeeper but it seemed like most of them weren’t even remotely on the side of the cultists. Frankly they seemed to hate the folks of Eden’s Gate with like the passion of a thousand burning suns, which was a bit strange because the cultists actually left them alone. Like they had free reign to walk across the entirety of Hope County from what she had seen so far.

 

And she was pretty sure that they were in contact with the militia of the Whitetail Mountains. There was no way the militia could hide their location from the cultists if they didn’t have several contractors to get them supplies and whatnot. And while probably neither of them actually knew the location of this famed Wolves’ Den, she could guess that they periodically used dead drop locations to get them resources, in exchange for what? She wondered about that, as it was clear that they didn’t need to offer them safety from the cult. Maybe for payment?

She once again wasn’t sure and she didn’t think it was safe to find out.

She was starting to get really fucking annoyed how many things she had no idea about, things that actually had a strong impact on her chance of survival in this place.

 

The choice was eventually taken out of her hand when she walked up with her pelts to the guy she sold some stuff a few days before, and the guy looked at her visibly brightening.

“Hey there kid! Good to see you, Eli wanted to talk with you.”

She let out a breath as she unpacked the pelts by type and he counted out the money she would receive for them. Before giving her the money though, he held out a radio to her and she was stunned for a second.

Was he really withholding her money so that she would talk with this Eli guy? Is that what was going on?

Staring at him for a few minutes, she accepted the radio, despite not knowing what the hell she would do with it, where you were supposed to answer with your voice? She could always tap on the radio to answer simple yes or no, or even with Morse if she remembered enough of that code and if this Eli guy actually knew it.

“Hello kid, you are one tough nut to track down. Would you like to help us fight the Peggies?” she looked incredulous at the radio. What the fuck? In what world did her continuous sneakiness and refusal to get close to any settlements indicate that she wanted to fight the cultists?

The silence dragged out for several minutes and she could feel the awkwardness settle on the conversation... if it could even be called conversation, because it was one-sided as fuck. Rook glared at the shopkeeper who chuckled sheepishly then he dropped her money into her open palm while scratching the back of his head. Eli or whoever was on the radio cleared his throat.

“Kid, are you still there?”

She quickly put away her money, then she switched the radio to her left hand and brought down three of her fingers onto the receiver in a sharp and loud tack, followed by a one finger tap. A short pause then she rapped three fingers once, twice, three times, before she threw the radio back to its owner.

 

She put her backpack on and got the hell out of dodge and heard the voice on the radio exclaiming things before she tuned the noise out and jogged back into one of the many forests around the mountain.

 

If she knew that someone else was listening to the conversation she would have left faster money or no money.

 ~~~

 

A few hours later she noticed the heightened frequency with which she saw cultist hunters and their wolves. She wasn’t sure what was going on, so she slipped back into the shadows the first few times and let her prey go instead of chasing it.

There were planes flying around in the sky, so she tried to stay hidden under the sprawling, large pines.

 

Then she realized that the area wasn’t supposed to be under so much scrutiny from the cultists, because despite the fact that it was plenty with game, their hunters usually didn’t come to this part.

So they must have been hunting something or someone and she had a rather bad feeling crawling in her gut, urging her to run back to one of her stashes in the area. On the way she almost ran into two more hunter groups and she could barely dodge out of the way, before the wolves smelled her on the wind.

 

She needed to get to her stash as soon as possible and drop off her new money, before she accidentally got caught in their search or lost her things. She needed to have a small nest egg just to be on the safe side.

 

There was something in the air.

A somewhat hazy quality?

Everything blurred a bit and there were far more sparkles than reality would usually contain?

Also, there was a strange taste on her tongue when she breathed in.

She shook her head several times to make it go away, so she could focus again, her head in her hands as she had to bend down, because her legs seemed to have gone a bit numb.

 

She was so close, when she felt a searing pain in her leg and fell over from the suddent feeling of it.

Breath hissing through her teeth, she looked down, then realized that she shouldn’t have done so, because yeah, that wasn’t supposed to be there.

There was an arrow shaft poking out of her thigh and she felt nauseous seeing it so deep in her flesh. It didn’t completely go fully through but it was in rather deep she found when she lifted trembling fingers to it, though touching it sent another wave of pain through her body and she would have screamed if she could.

Still it whited out her vision for a few seconds and she flopped down on her back, panting from the shock of it.

 

Rook felt herself getting sick and she heaved herself to her side as she violently began to vomit, the world swimming in and out of focus. Everything around her started to take on this reddish and sparkling quality and she felt herself slowly losing her consciousness, trying to blink faster, trying to crawl away from it all, dragging her bad leg through mud and who knows what and then her hand landed on a shoe suddenly.

Raising her head with the last of her strength she saw the hooded face of a hunter staring at her and she had one last clear thought, before the drug dragged her under.

_Oh, it was me they were hunting._

_~~~_

 

“Jacob is going to be pissed.”

“It wasn’t supposed to go in so deep!”

“Bad reaction...”

“Change the dosage.”

“I said change the fucking dosage!”

~~~

 

If later asked, she wouldn’t be able to make much sense of what happened to her between being shot and drugged and waking up in a completely different place in a relatively clean cage with her leg still smarting but freshly bandaged.

 

She remembered flashes of the world swaying like she was slung over someone’s shoulder like a sack of potato, vomiting all over the back of whoever was carrying her, hearing the swirling colors, angry shouting and she remembered trying to scream when her leg was jostled too much.

 

Waking up cuffed to something is becoming alarmingly common for her life and she hated the trend so much already. At least it wasn’t her hand this time but her injured leg (one of her pant’s legs cut off almost to the top off her thigh) and it was further tied to the bars in its makeshift splint. She tried to move it and hissed when the pain suddenly flashed through her before whatever painkiller she was on dulled it back down. She instinctively tried to curl around her injury, but she was stopped by a strong grip on her shoulders, forcing her to straighten instead.

“Steady, steady. The pain is only a fleeting sensation. Do not let it define you, fight it.”

Rook didn’t even register the deep voice which seemed to be talking to her through her haze.

But her eyes snapped open when the grip on her shoulders let her go and patted her on her face a few times. The skin was rough but the hand itself was somewhat gentle.

She looked into blue eyes and she remembered the ginger soldier from the church with startling clarity.

Okay, so she found the infamous Jacob Seed.

Or rather Jacob Seed found her.

Semantics.

 

Rook stared at the soldier sitting next to her cage on a chair. She was hooked on an IV, but she had enough room to turn towards him. She could see Deputy Pratt standing in the background, his face filled with blue and yellow bruises, probably from their helicopter tumble. Surprisingly he didn’t bear any more fresh injuries, but he wouldn’t raise his gaze from the ground and there was no peep out of him which was a bit strange as he seemed to be in love with his own voice most of the time.

He seemed like a changed man.

She didn’t have too much time to contemplate the differences in Pratt, because Jacob Seed had a presence that demanded every observer to pay attention to him. It was a quality she saw in some of the squad leaders when she was still a soldier, that some of those people had this charisma to them that made their teams follow them into whatever hellish situation they led them without hesitation.

 

So when Jacob Seed next started speaking, Rook turned towards him as much as she could to listen.

 

“You have interesting scars on your body. Where did you serve, Afghanistan or Iraq?”

She opened her mouth to answer, then remembered once again that she couldn’t. Idiot, it has been months already and she still didn’t stop trying to speak in her unguarded moments.

Jacob flashed a small smile, his legs crossed over, he was leaning against the back of his chair, the picture of relaxation despite having one of his supposed enemies behind his back.

“Oh yes, you can’t speak. Peaches mentioned something like that, but he didn’t know details. And such interesting details.” he leaned forward in his chair and his face was close to hers. “Tell me junior Deputy… Was it a high powered rifle? How did it feel to have your throat blown open completely?”

Rook felt her breath leave her in a rush, there was only the rushing noise in her ears, her heart pounding and she felt sweat break out on her skin.

His words still reached her though and she drowned in them.

“To choke on your own blood? How many of your squad died during the time they tried everything in their power to stop you from bleeding out?”

And every word was another knife wound and it felt like she was back to lying in the desert, stopped mid-shout, the sun shining down on her face and Bradley’s terrified face over her, his hands on her throat trying to stop the bleeding, she was still trying to warn them before he fell on her, his head blown open, showering her in his blood and brain matter and she was dragged out from under his still warm body by Sammy, into a small ditch and soon her blood was on all of her friends’ hands as they took turns between trying to keep her alive and trying to keep all of them alive in the crossfire.

“How many times did you die till they stitched you together? Did you mourn when you were discharged?”

She could still feel it, the blood in her lungs, the heat on her skin, the pained grunts and screams around her, the sound of shots firing. Last thing she heard was Jacob’s voice and she couldn’t not listen to him, she drowned in it all and she shut down.

 ~~~

 

Rook woke up to her mouth feeling like something died in it. She blinked a few times to clear the crust in her eyes, all the while turning her head around to check for others. The sun was still up, she was still lying in a sparse cot in a cage in the middle of a large building’s courtyard. There was a large white wolf in the cage closest to hers, one eye staring at her, before it yawned and seemed to go to sleep.

 

She had hazy memories about trying to move her leg and the pain after that so she hesitated a bit trying again, but in the end she managed to wiggle her toes just a little bit, and it didn’t cause the same experience, so she tried sitting up. There was no needle stuck in her veins anymore and she was in different clothes, a large clean shirt, and a man’s boxer shorts which she didn’t remember ever taking from any of the cabins, so it was probably one of the cultists and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Through the haze of whatever drugs they pumped into her she still felt a bit violated over being undressed without even knowing who did the deed.

Aside from that she was clean and had a scratchy blanket half covering her legs. It felt a lot like being in one of the medic tents in the desert, though those didn’t have bars to cage their patients in.

Looking around she saw Jacob Seed walking through the grounds with Pratt following him like he was one of the hunter’s wolves.

 

Though those wolves were way more dangerous than she could imagine Pratt ever being, but the obedience seemed rather similar.

 

They didn’t approach her, and she felt like her bladder would burst, so she struggled a bit to get off the cot she was on and managed to wobble up to the side where there was a bucket for her.

After that she leaned against the bars of her cage and tried to straighten out her leg, it didn’t really cooperate but it was much better than before and she wondered how many days have passed.

 

Pressing her forehead against the coldness of the bars felt good, so she slid down to the ground. She didn’t feel feverish and she was sure that her injury wasn’t infected. She just wanted to know what the hell was going on and how much time had passed.

There was a snout pressed to her nose and she blinked when something wet brushed her face.

 

The large wolf was standing in its cage and it was pressed right to the bars too and snuffling at her face. It didn’t seem like it wanted to harm her and it couldn’t lunge at her throat or any of her body parts so she let it. It was a strange behavior from a strange wolf in a strange place, but she felt too tired to question it much.

 

There was someone scuffling their boots near her and then she heard and felt the wolf snarl at them. Apparently in the last few minutes she reached out and pressed her hand into the fur of its scruff without even noticing it. She scratched it and stared at the blood marking its face, which was still snarling at whoever was standing outside of her cage.

She was certain that it wasn’t Jacob, she couldn’t imagine him having anything in his compound that would snarl like this at him.

“You are weak. Still just a probie, no matter what happens.”

She lazily opened one eye and looked at Pratt.

“Did you even thought to look for any of us? Or did you immediately run like the coward you are? We have heard how you were on the run...”

She closed her eye and pressed herself as close to the wolf as she could through the bars of her cage.

His words meant nothing to her, they just bounced off her skin.

Her worth wasn’t determined by him.

The wolf snapped at him and she heard his sharp breath and she hid a grin.

Playing at a big bad wolf when you were just a scared puppy, in the presence of a big bad wolf was just asking for trouble.

 

“Peaches, what are you doing over there?” Jacob’s voice cracked like a whip and Pratt instantly shut up. The wolf snarling quieted down too in answer to a strange clicking sound, then it shifted to lie down once again, still in Rook’s reach, pressed up to the bars.

She knew that once again she was the focus of those cool blue eyes, so she opened both of her eyes and stared straight up at him.

Jacob Seed wasn’t a person to be ignored, so she waited till he deigned to speak to her.

“I thought you died somewhere in the wilds, when you didn’t immediately started making trouble for us. To save your friends…” he crouched down, putting himself on her level, but there was no mistaking who was in charge there. “But you didn’t do any of that. Wonder why that happened?”

She just shrugged in answer.

“Joseph was sure that you’ve lived. Now, I’m not sure whether you are just a coward or the smartest person in the department, but there is one thing I know...”

Jacob reached in and grabbed her face by her chin.

“You are a survivor and I can do something with that.”

His smile was like the shine of a razor sharp knife and Rook felt something shrivel in her.

She had to get away or he would do anything in his power to mold her into the shape he wanted and she was finished with having anyone manipulate her like that.

Only she had the right to make decisions about her own life.

“Joseph will arrive tomorrow. He wanted to speak with you when you were finally found.”

 

She had no illusions.

She knew that meeting with Joseph Seed would be something monumental and inevitable, so it could only happen on her terms. Not when she was vulnerable and unbalanced, not when she was still in pain from the arrow that his brother shot her with.

She had to leave as soon as she could.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you for the kudos and for the comments, it made me so happy to see them!  
> Next chapter is either gonna be up in two weeks again, or if I can write enough during this weekend (I only have to work like 4 hours tomorrow!), it might happen next Friday. What else is there to say? Hm. Eh, I forgot.  
> Oh yeah, please, no concrit. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the local wildlife 101 AKA Looting Your Way Through Hope County, Part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the last two weeks have been crazy as fuck, and because of that whole shebang this one only had some minimal editing done by yours truly. And I'm still at war with English (and even my mother tongue, so it's not an outstanding thing, but still), so excuse my mistakes!

### CHAPTER 2

_In which Rook falls out of the frying pan and into the fire (Jacob would be unimpressed)_

 

The thing about her confinement was... that while they took away all her weapons and most of her belongings with her bag, there were a few things they didn’t thought to check her for. Which seemed like a ridiculous oversight, but Rook wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

 

So she had to wait till it got dark to attempt her escape with her bum leg. It was definitely not going to be easy, but it was probably doable, if she could still be sneaky enough.

Granted it would be hell on her thigh, but beggars can’t be choosers.

 

A few hours passed and Jacob came by to take her wolf somewhere. She looked at it a bit mournfully, knowing that one of the reasons why Jacob was taking it away was because she found some solace in its presence, but it actually helped her plans.

She didn’t know how the wolf would have reacted when she tried to leave and it was better to be left alone so she wouldn’t have to find out.

 

If she wasn’t so pressed for time she wouldn’t even contemplate running off without a plan like this, but she was really desperate. So she forced herself to stand up and wobble around her cage, trying to get the muscles in her leg to unclench enough, to get her stiff joints loosen up, to get herself a bit more limber after her however long stay in the cage.

 

This part of the grounds seemed to be less frequented, the cages clean and all of them empty, which meant if she timed this right, she could get away far enough before her being missing would get discovered.

 

So she waited a few hours and the Sun started going down, and there was an older man walking with Jacob towards her cage talking between themselves. She was sitting on her cot, her leg faintly throbbing from her straining it when she should have been resting it, but there was no one who told her off for doing what she did, so she hoped that meant that no one was actively watching these parts of the grounds.

She strained her hearing trying to eavesdrop on what they were talking about.

“... she is strong for such a malnourished...” some mumbling with the occasional words that could be made out. “...the training had to be delayed… Peaches might become a problem… Joseph was only told today…” then they were right before her.

The older man had a stethoscope around his neck and he was carrying a bag with him, so she assumed that he was some kind of doctor. Or maybe the local veterinarian.

“It’s good to see you fully awake, my child.” He said with a small smile as he walked up to the bars, and Jacob opened her cage with a set of keys from his belt.

They approached her, like one would come to treat a wild animal, which seemed unsure whether to strike or not.

And she felt like a half feral animal, stuck in a cage, backed into a corner on her cot, as everything that was Jacob Seed took one more slow step towards her and she felt the urge to bare her teeth like she was an actual wolf to snarl at him.

To challenge him in his own little playground even if she knew that it would be suicidal to do so.

 

So she pressed her mouth together and watched him carefully, her eyes snapping for a second to the keys on his keyring and she knew that there was no chance in hell that she could slip her key away without him noticing the theft.

Especially since he noticed her darting glance to his keys and he only looked a bit amused at her daring.

 

The doctor tutted while he placed his bag on her cot and started unbinding her bandages. They seemed to be a little pink in a small circle at the start, then went full blown red with blood as he unwound more and more.

In the end her thigh had a wound, which while might have been slightly inflamed and she popped a stitch for sure, it wasn’t infected at all and she was healing at a rather good rate which either meant that she had been here for a while or... she didn’t even want to guess. What the hell have they been giving her?

“She has to keep off that leg for a few days, but she should be good to go after that.” he said while finishing prodding her and he disinfected her wound before rolling it all up in a fresh set of bandages.

“And now just a small injection.”

Then he was brandishing a syringe filled with something and he was ready to stick it into her and Rook tensed up like a wire and she saw from the corner of her eyes Jacob move and then she had her arms in his grip, revealing her veins to the doctor and she immediately started struggling, which only made him hold her more securely down.

“It’s just something to help you heal my dear, don’t fret so much!”

She wheezed and she felt a prick then the pain receded and she felt herself untense bit by bit. She turned her head up and stared up at Jacob accusingly, her hand gripping his upper arm and he had to pry her fingers off as the doctor packed up his things and started for the door.

“She is good to go for the night, she just needs to sleep a bit more, and it would help her if we gave her some more Bliss.”

“No, Joseph wants to speak with her when he arrives.”

The door closed behind them and she laid on her cot, her heartbeat slowly calming down. There was no glowy, shiny quality to the air around her, there were no red and blue edges, there was no distortion and she felt mostly in control.

Jacob still stood outside of her cage and she signed something rather rude at him, which made him flash a small smirk, before he left her to have a “good night”.

She intended to fulfill his parting remark, though she was sure he didn’t mean like she took it.

~~~

 

The sun went down completely and it got dark out soon after that, one lamp on the side of the building illuminating the cages. Everything was still and quiet, with only the occasional animal noises and sometimes she might have heard people talking in the distance.

 

She stood on wobbly legs, grabbed her pillow, fluffed it up as much as she could and wrapped it up in her blanket, trying to make it appear larger, so if someone checked on it from the distance it would look like there was a body on the cot. Not that it was of much use, her small pillow wasn’t big enough for that, but she supposed it could pass a a quick muster if they checked it from far enough. Like from the windows of the building.

 

She was still in that over large shirt and boxers combo, though neither would help her much in the forest to keep her from getting scratched up or the blaring white of her shirt with sneaking around, but she wasn’t about to drop her only clothing when the air was getting colder as the night started.

 

So Rook sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening before she grabbed her greasy braid and got out a few bobby pins. Bending them before she kneeled on her good leg, while keeping her weight of the other and looked at the lock for a few seconds, before inserting one of the pins inside it and starting to root around, listening for clicks as the cylinders slid in place.

 

Soon enough the lock released and she carefully opened the cage, trying to make sure that there was no creaking sound coming from it, but the hinges were well-oiled and unrusted.

She closed it behind herself, though she didn’t even try locking it, because it would have been an useless effort.

 

Rook hesitated for a second, thinking about her possessions and especially her map and compass, but she decided against it, when she realized she had no idea where they could have put her things. Quietly and as quickly as she could she walked towards the fence. Then crouching down she slowly and steadily followed it checking for any sign of imperfections where she could slip out.

She quickly left her secluded yard as there was no such thing on the wall in the area. Keeping to the shadows and always behind covers she steadily made her way to the opposite side of the building, always carefully not making too much noise and darting in and out of view. Or hobbling at times actually, but she eventually found a place behind some cages which had a small tunnel dug by some kind of wolf or dog. It wasn’t very large, also it was quite shallow, but she found a rock and started widening and deepening it bit by bit.

It was a thankless job and she froze at every sound that came close to her, kind of terrified that the moment when her absence was discovered would come soon and she would be found and dragged back to ehr cage.

She even contemplated the sewer entrance she could see, but she had no idea about where did it end or anything… and the thought of wading around in human waste with a wound that was still bleeding occasionally, made her remember that gangrene was a thing and she didn’t want to die like that trying to escape.

 

That would be very much outside of the optimal outcome and she would take her chances with Joseph instead.

 

She was starting to think that she would have to go back to her cage and lock the door on herself and wait for another night to escape when the hole got large enough for her to slip through. She was very dirty and muddy and she had scrapes all over her body from the small rocks she had to slide against, but she was out and she only had a few meters left to go before she was once again in the forest.

 

She didn’t know where she was exactly or where she was going but she was sure that she would eventually run into a house or a cabin or a building or something where she could orient herself further, so she slid down and hobbled and sweated through her shirt, and shivered in the cooler air, then rain started falling and she was soaked too in a few minutes. Her legs burned, her lungs burned, and everything hurt, but she continued on her way.

 

Time seemed to run away with her, but luck was on her side because she wasn’t beset by hunting parties and she eventually found an abandoned cabin deep in the woods. Rook once again bent one of her pins and dragged herself inside the newly opened small house, closing the door behind her.  

There was a small portable lamp, which worked so she dragged it around. She grabbed a chair from the kitchen area and wedged it under the knob, then checked the windows, but there was nothing about them, they seemed to be stuck from the condensation and she carefully drew the curtains so that no light would escape to give her away.

 

She went to the bathroom to check for running water, then she finally found the breaker on the wall in the small pantry next to the kitchen.

With that she heard the pump starting to work and crashed into the bathroom to drink a few mouthfuls from the cold water, even managing to splutter in her haste as the water almost went down the wrong pipe in her throat. She looked into the mirror, at her bloody and muddy self and she saw her face gaunter than when she first stumbled into the county, her freckles starting to come in full force, her eyes still bearing those large purple bags under them, her hair in a completely disarray with leaves and sticks sticking out. Her cultist shirt was ripped in a  few places and she was sure she would never get the blood out, and she realised a few minutes in her treck in the forest that she was not wearing any underwear under her borrowed clothes.

 

It felt kind of breezy? That was all she was saying.

 

But despite it all, she grinned at her reflection, because she was alive and she was free.

 

Rook grabbed the cabinet door to the side and checked its contents. She found some medicine and she found a scissor which she snatched up, then she brought her braid forward and started cutting through it to get her hair around chin length. Once or twice she slipped and almost cut herself, but she managed to finish the whole thing. The remaining braids started unraveling and she had some longer wisps on her head, and it was still greasy as hell.

 

But she would get to it after she took a shower and washed her hair, it would be easier to handle clean hair than the tangled mess it was now.

 

So she swayed before the shower door, at the last dregs of her energy, only seeing from the dull glow of the small lamp, because the bulb in the bathroom was blown and she really didn’t want to search for a new one. Not that she planned to use the lights too much, she was good with the small lamp. Less chance of it being seen from the outside and she was okay with the mild light as it didn’t hurt her eyes too much.

 

She went out to the kitchen, plopped down on her butt and rooted through the cabinets till she found some cans and she shook each of them hoping to find some soup.

 

She wanted to eat soup so damn much.

Nothing would make her happier than just stuffing her face with some soup at the moment.

 

Grabbing a can and opening it up when shaking it made sounds that sounded sloshy enough, she found chunks swimming in some sauce. “Close enough”, she thought.

 

Clinging to the counter she climbed to her feet to turn on the little burner and plopped her can of food into a pan to heat it up. Sometimes she would stir it with a spoon and she was less hesitant to label it as a soup. Maybe it was a stew. She didn’t care if it was warm and easy on her stomach and it filled her up enough.

 

She ate slowly, each bite chewed thoroughly and she finished  before she even got to half of the pan. She put it aside, afraid that she would vomit it all up. She didn’t know when was the last time she had actual food in her stomach since she was shot and she didn’t want to take any chances.

Straightening her leg out she stared at nothing for a while, the pan cooling down next to her.

She didn’t want to get up, she wasn’t sure she would be able to get up anyway, but she had to check on her wound and she wanted to get clean.

 

She needed to get clean, so she dragged herself to the bathroom and she dropped down onto the closed toilet seat, to take off her soiled boxers and lo and behold she had no panties on. Not even that surprised, anymore. She didn’t even really care that she might have flashed Jacob Seed of all people.

She still struggled with her shirt despite it almost slipping off her shoulder if it was in a certain way and she contemplated just cutting it off of herself, but got it off and just dropped it on the floor on top of her boxers.

In the end she cut through the bandages on her leg when she got fed up with trying to unwind it, then got herself to the shower which was pleasantly warm and she watched the red and brown water swirl down into the drain. There was only some shower gel in there that smelled like it was the unholy offspring of AXE and Old Spice and she shrugged. It was better than nothing and at least it functioned as a shampoo too, so two birds with one stone.

It also fucking stung when it got into contact with her fresh cuts and bruises and she gritted her teeth when she was washing down the hole in her thigh. That woke her up a bit, and now that she was looking at it, it seemed like it was more healed than it should be.

 

It looked like it was days older than it was when the doc checked on it.

What the heck was in that syringe?

 

After finishing with getting clean, she wrapped up her hair and body in towels and opened the fogged up bathroom, to get some of the steam. She also got some packets of clean bandages out of the cabinet. Rook toweled her body dry, then walked back into the room with an armful of stuff. Sitting down on the bed, she got the afghan covering it and she sat down onto her damp towel then briskly disinfected the area, poked the wound a few times because it still creeped her out how healed it was, then bandaged it again. Same with her cut up feet and some of the other smaller wounds that looked risky. Then got the towel from her head, combed out her hair as much as she could with her fingers. She had a small mirror in front of her and she used it and the scissors to cut her hair more evenly shorter, until it was only reaching her ears. She knew that the moment it started drying it would curl up tighter and it would not get into her eyes anymore. She got the towel from her shoulders which caught most of the falling hair and she stood up and swept herself down, before going to the small wardrobe and getting out some clothing.

 

Rook only found guy clothes, not even a scrap of woman underwear, but she really was completely past caring about anything at that point, so she just kicked most things off the bed, turned the lamp down and went to sleep.

 

If she had a nightmare or any dream, she didn’t remember it the next time she woke up.

~~~

 

Next morning or whatever time Rook woke up, she blinked blearily out of her slightly dusty blanket burrito and stayed inside snoozing for some time.

 

There was no alarm clock and no screaming and everything was safe and calm.

She only moved, when she realized that her throat was parched and her bladder was ready to burst.

 

Finishing her business in the bathroom, she walked back to the room, and stood in front of the still open wardrobe in just a large shirt. She will have to wear some briefs and hope she gets some pads and the proper underwear for them before shit hits the fan.

She turned on the radio and she found the cult radio blasting their usual songs. It was rather soothing, but it would not help her find out what was the goddamn date currently. So she waited around for a bit listening to the radio for any sign on that front while she went through the cabin for anything that might be useful.

 

She found a messenger bag and started filling it up with actually useful things, while trying to keep everything light, because she wasn’t even close to being at a 100% of her usual self.

She found some rope and a grappling hook, and she put together a med kit from the remaining supplies from the bathroom. She had a map and she had a compass. She found some instant food packets in one of the drawers, so she packed those too. Then grabbed a small pot and one of each utensils.

“You listening, survivor?”

Her head snapped up, her eyes widening and she stopped in the middle of rolling up a change of clothing for her pack.

That was Jacob. His voice coming from the… radio?

And was he talking to her?

“Nice trick with the locks, though you will have that chat with Joe. I will find you.”

And after that it was back to the regularly scheduled cultist playlist with the heartfelt rendition of how Jacob is gonna set those sinners free. Not ominous at all.

 

She dressed up in a wifebeater, a plaid shirt and on top of that a hoodie. The jeans she found was nowhere close to her size, so she grabbed the scissors and cut the end of the legs off and she used a belt to somewhat keep it more on her waist.

Putting the messenger bag on, she took one last look back at the cabin and its contents, and hit the breaker.

 

Rook limped out of the cabin and into the forest ready to find the biggest tree to orient herself.

 

She had to get out of Jacob’s region as soon as she could and on the way out she had to hit at least one, but more likely several of her hidden stashes.

~~~

 

Rook thought that she was just somewhere south-east of the veteran hospital, so if she continued south or south east actually, she would eventually either get to the lake or get to the road where Faith’s and Jacob’s region met.

 

She could even keep to the mountain basin for extra protection, there weren’t as many people usually there, but then her stashes would be completely out of the way for her. And if she got to a part where she couldn’t slip through, she could always backtrack a bit and head for the lake. There were docks scattered  all over the place and she could probably borrow a boat or something. Not that she ever drove a boat in her life...

But how hard it could be to drive one?

 

Rook ended up zigzagging through the forests, pretty much always on the move. She tried to avoid high traffic roads and when she had to cross them she only did so at night. She didn’t hunt anymore, as she didn’t have any intention of finding any of the wandering storekeepers to sell her loot, because she was sure that Jacob’s people found her the same way that Eli found her, through those damned shopkeepers.

So she wasn’t about to go hunt to be able to sell pelts, she was just going to take her stashed money and hope for the best once she was out.

 

Her leg still healed at an alarming rate along with the small scratches she got. Though she knew that as days passed, the drug they gave her was slowly emptying out of her system and she could see how the new scratches she got healed slower and slower. Still fast, but not as fast as before. The arrow wound on her thigh was pretty much a scar now and it was still freaky as fuck to see that.

 

She looted every place she found along her way, taking money and dry food and whatever she thought useful that fit inside her bag. She found another compound bow and she messed around with it, to customize it to her frame and strength but nothing much.

 

She was going through a locked shed’s content when she heard a noise from somewhere to the side. She slid out of the open window, an arrow ready to be shot from her bow when she saw who made the sound. It was a young woman in a hoodie with a bow in her hands in the treeline. Rook wasn’t sure what she was hunting for and she didn’t want to find out.

 

So she stealthily walked away, always keeping the woman in her sights, just to be sure that she wasn’t following her, until she couldn’t see her anymore.

 

Otherwise her journey to cross the Whitetail Mountain region went pretty smoothly.

Of course not without little hitches, but she would have been really suspicious if everything went according to plan.

 

She marked up her new map as she went and she marked the locations she could remember in general from her old map. It wasn’t as detailed as her previous one was, and it was missing  looted locations here and there, but she couldn’t remember all of the places she found during trying to find good hunting spots and exploring the area.

 

Rook eventually raided four of her stashes and her pockets were heavier with several thousand dollars.

It was more money than she ever held in her hands in cash, but it was pretty much nothing in this part of the county. Prices started to inflate for most things, especially for guns and ammunition.

Demand and supply, she guessed. It wasn’t like this part of the county had an ammo/weapon factory, so when inventories started emptying out, things like that would only get more and more expensive.

 

So down south she went and she eventually found some docks on the shoreline, and those were guarded mostly, but she figured her luck had to run out some time. She could probably swim across the Silver Lake, take a breather around the shorelines of Joseph’s territory, hope nobody sees her, then swim across the lake again if it came down to that, but she wasn’t sure she was up to actually doing all that.

Her wounds might be gone, but she was underfed. She could feel herself tiring out more quickly and doing that, getting completely exhausted while swimming? That was a recipe for disaster and possible drowning.

So she walked along the shore checking every dock she found for something, but those that were not guarded didn’t actually have a boat to take or it didn’t have keys close enough and while she knew how to pick locks... hotwiring any kind of vehicle was not part of her skillset currently. Though if she got around she would try to figure that shit out too.

Eventually.

As soon as she figured out what she should do with this whole situation, because she now knew that Joseph told his siblings that he wanted to speak with her, so they would be on the lookout for her.

 

Which made the Valley one of the more problematic areas for her. At least the Henbane had less open areas, so she should probably head in that way.

 

Rook stopped for a second, sighed looked up at the clear sky and she cursed her whole existence for a bit.

 

She would need to go into a Resistance camp and check them out for news. Maybe ask them for the date.

 

She could say she came down to the mountains to hike if they don’t recognize her from her wanted posters… anyway, last time she checked her reflection she looked different enough from that drawing with her hair cut short, her face freckled like she was a fucking ostrich egg and she lost some of the softness of her cheeks.

Maybe she should get a scarf to cover her face, though? Or would that make people think she was hiding something?

But all in all she probably wouldn’t get connected with the missing/dead Junior Deputy as pretty much nobody outside of the department and the immediate vicinity of the Sheriff’s building would know who she was. Her wanted poster didn’t name her as the Junior Deputy either.

 

She had to hike along the entire shoreline till she got to one of the creeks feeding the lake, making a few hour easy boat ride into a several days trip where she got exhausted and went through almost all of her food storage.

 

And that’s how she rolled into the Henbane region.

Tired, achy and utterly filthy.

 

She was completely fucking done with everything.

~~~

 

There was a marina. A marina where loud music played that probably wasn’t part of the cultist playlist as it was rather blasphemous? She wasn’t sure that was the correct adjective for it, but she thought the cultist wouldn’t really like it, though they might take an ironic liking to it?

She watched the place from a tree, through the red dot sight on her bow. She either needed binoculars, or something that had a better zoom than this piece of shit hardware.

 

So she camped out on her tree and watched the marina and watched the people and watched the road for a few days.

 

There was not much traffic to be honest, the people from the marina shot at any cultist vehicles going down the road, cultists shot back. Sometimes she saw incoming and outgoing backpackers and they seemed to be left alone, and allowed to trade.

Rook could see a few snipers on the top of the roofs, who were a bit shitty at their jobs if they never even saw her on her perch. They had missile and grenade launchers here and there. There were two guys with dogs walking the perimeter and she could see more cages. There was a landing spot for helicopters probably - though without a helicopter in it - as there was no real run for an actual plane to land. There were a few boats anchored, and she saw them regularly going out and fishing on a nearby island. Same with hunting, they regularly went out into the forests to hunt for food and brought back their game on trucks.

From what she heard from the megaphones the marina was in the hands of some woman who sometimes waxed poetic about her boyfriend, and her guns and being angry about her lost plane? It might have been the helicopter which had its own landing space on the outskirts of the marina, Rook wasn’t sure. Rook also didn’t care that much.

 

From what she had observed, they seemed relatively safe for her? Wiping her nose she tapped on the trunk of the tree.

She had to try. She needed to get some food at least, so she didn’t have much of a choice, which was also becoming a frequent thing and she disliked it immensely.

So she got down from the tree and started walking toward the marina from the forest while trying to move normally, like she wasn’t getting used to sneaking everywhere in the entire county.

Like she was just one hitchhiker who was just in a bad place at a bad time when all of this started and now was just trying to survive everything.

No biggie, just nice and easy...

 

Why was this more unnerving than the entire time she was in Jacob’s little cage?

 

Because walking into a town like this always felt like walking on a razor edge to her. She didn’t know these people, she didn’t know the mayor players. She might have got more information out of Dutch if she stayed with him for a bit, though she wouldn’t have been able to trust anything he said, so that was a moot point.

She walked into the town with her bow held loosely in her left hand, her right hand up and unclenched, trying to show that she was unarmed aside from the obvious. She still got several rifles pointed at her and she hesitated for a bit, when she realized that one of them was actually a machine gun. Which was really fuckingg crazy, because she was sure that fully automated guns weren’t that easily available to civilians, and last time she checked they didn’t exactly sell those at Walmart.

Even the Sheriff’s department armory didn’t have those.

 

So yes, she hesitated when faced with a fully loaded M249, because she remembered people being mowed down by gunfire. She remembered the damage, the blood and the screams easily enough.

They didn’t lower their weapons as she walked close enough to talk. Well at least they could talk and maybe there was someone who understood sign language or got her some pen and paper.

“You a Peggie?” asked one guy with an AR-C still pointed at her.

She shook her head in answer which made they guy raise a brow.

“Cat got your tongue, bub?”

She rolled her eyes and moved to unzip her hoodie and to get her shirt down enough to show the mangled mess of her throat. At the move two of those guys at the gate jumped and startled and would have shot her if the guy who asked didn’t bark out a short laugh at seeing her starting to strip.

Then she heard a low wolf whistle at the sight of her scars and she rezipped her hoodie as high as she could. She shouldn’t had to show her damage, but they seemed kind of really trigger happy and if she didn’t give them a reason why she wasn’t answering them, they might have just shot her.

“Nice scars, did you meet the business end of a wolverine? Those little fuckers like to go for the throat...” he grinned and she was getting annoyed, but she wasn’t sure whether she should try to hide it or let it show on her face. They might just take either the wrong way.

So Rook only shrugged and that was it from her, if she didn’t seem like hell to them already then she wasn’t about to try to appear more pitiful or something.

She wanted to get some info, get some food and if possible get a new weapon.

“What do ya want, bub?” smiley guy asked from her and she thought fuck it and just signed back.

“Enjoying the scenery, taking a romantic walk away from the husband...”

Guys just looked at her questioning, then looked at each other in confusion. Well, safe to say that neither of them knew ASL.  She mimed writing on a paper for them and their leader eventually got one of them to get a pad of sticky notes and a pencil after staring at her for a few seconds.

While she wasn’t sure what to write exactly, but making a snap decision, she went with the whole tourist lie. There was no way in hell that she would tell them the truth.

“CAME TO HIKE. FELL, GOT STUCK IN THE MOUNTAINS, GOT DOWN HERE NOW.”

Then she waved it in front of the guy’s face, who snapped it up then read it out loud.

“Whitetail Mountains, eh? We don’t get many people from there, what is it like up?”

Rook got another sticky note filled up quickly, then showed it in his face, which he snatched out of her hands.

“Lots of wolves and hunters… That’s it, bub? What about the militia? What about that fucker Jacob?”

Rook shook her head.

“NOT MILITIA. AVOIDED EVERYONE, HUNTED A BIT. DON’T EVEN KNOW THE DATE.”

“Well you are useless then, bub. What do you want?”

“FOOD, ARROWS. CAN PAY. WANT TO CHECK TUNNELS.”

“The ones leading out of the basin? They got bombed the second this shit started, bub. No way through them.”

“WANT TO SEE 4MYSELF. WHAT’S THE DATE???”

“Your funeral, bub. 3 weeks since those nutjobs started their murder spree.”

“WILL YOU TRADE WITH ME?”

Guy once again measured her from head to toe, then shrugged.

“It’s up to boss lady. Boss lady, what do you say? She good?” she asked from the radio hooked to his body armor.

A few seconds of silence, then the radio crackled and the somewhat shrill voice she heard from the megaphones started speaking.

“Yes, yes, let the girl in. She can trade for food and get some arrows and shit, just stop bothering me, right now!”

Guy grinned at her with all of his teeth showing, then gestured with his assault rifle toward the marina.

“Well, you heard the boss, welcome to Drubman Marina, bub.”

~~~

 

The marina was kind of a mess?

Not really organized or anything, she wondered how they actually functioned?

From what she saw and heard the leader of the place was an older lady, the ex-wife of this Drubman guy and she had a twenty-something boy-toy whom she spoiled rotten.

They had a lots of guns and ammo, but they didn’t really reach out to liberate cult territory or anything by themselves for some reason. They just seemed to be okay with the current status quo?

They talked a lot of shit, but no actions actually followed their words.

They had enough food what’s with the lake at their disposal, but the cult was pumping drugs into that too not just the Henbane river.

Sometimes a greenish mist would roll in and that’s was the cult’s drugs too.

Drugged river which had its source deep in the high mountains?

Sure.

Drugged mist through the whole region?

Right.

What’s next?

The rain will be drugged too, by bombing Bliss into the sky?

 

She wasn’t entirely ready to dismiss the whole thing, but it sounded a bit sketchy to her. She didn’t really know what to believe, if she didn’t know that she got shot with Bliss and she got her healing sped up by it too, then she might be a bit more disbelieving about it all.

 

So she went to their mess, bought some of the bit dubious looking fish soup and sat down to eat it.

 

If they hated the cultists so goddamn much, why were they actually not doing anything else aside from protecting their own little shithole? Like it seemed rather similar to the Whitetail Mountains, the Resistance leaders gave no shit about people until they found some use for them? Was that it?

Were these people waiting for someone to pull their asses out of the fire?

 

Though she did wonder why had the cultists not sent people here to reclaim the outpost if it was really occupied by them previously.

The Resistance seemed scattered, and divided and they weren’t all nomadic. It just didn’t make sense.  If the cultists wanted to murder them all, why had they not killed them all? There was no chance in hell the cultists didn’t know where the hell were these Resistance outposts, she had seen planes and helicopters flying all over the place, they had to know.

 

So what the hell was going on?

Rook shook her head and forced down another few spoonfuls, before she gave up and just pushed the metal bowl away. She munched on the bread, her eyes staring into the distance, not quite unaware about her surroundings to the point that she didn’t even notice when a guy dropped down into the seat next to her.

 

He was good looking, if one went for twenty-something beach twinks who seemed to have the egg shells still on their butt?

He started crunching on some salad and she blinked for a second, because that wasn’t an option on the menu, but she shook it off, when the guy suddenly just started talking to her.

“So, where are you from?”

Rook stopped chewing and stared at him for a second. Was he actually waiting for an answer?

He stabbed another tomato and some fancy cheese like thing and raised an eyebrow at her. She grabbed the pencil and paper which she just dropped on the table previously and wrote down the truth. Or part of the truth.

“VIRGINIA”

“Nice, I’m from Florida. Came down to spend some time with Adi.”

“ADI?”

“She is the boss around here. You probably haven’t met her.”

She had a bad feeling about this, but she had to ask.

“YOUR GRANNY?”

At that the guy just threw his head back and laughed like she told the best joke he ever heard, then through his giggles he managed to squeeze out some words as he gave her back the note: “Don’t let her read that, she is rather sensitive about that.”

Rook took it from him with a nod and proceeded to turn it into confetti, while he tried to get his breathing back under control.

“Thanks, dude, I needed that. Adi is my girlfriend. Some call her my sugarmommy around here.” Rook shrugged, she had no opinion about that. “This place is real fucked up, dude. Like seriously messed up.”

Why the hell was this guy telling her this, did he want something from her?

“All the Peggies are batshit crazy, we were just doing our own stuff, chilling here when they just started screaming about the beginning some kind of Reaping. The Sheriff department really turned this place into a shitshow.”

Wait what? She quickly scratched down a question.

“WHAT THE SHERIFF HAS TO DO WITH ANYTHING??”

“Where were you, dude?! This whole thing started when the Sheriff department went to fuck the Peggies shit up!”

That wasn’t how it went at all. What the flying shit was going on?

“Whitehorse is a fucking idiot if he thinks Adi would help him out after that.”

Rook shook her head, she must have got lost somewhere in the conversation, but there was one thing she had to ask.

“WHITEHORSE?”

“Yeah, the Sheriff, he is somewhere in the Jail, hiding, trying to get a Resistance together to get the cult out of the region or something. To be honest I think they just want to kill them all.”

Didn’t the Sheriff get captured at the beginning, like all the others?  She remembered him being dragged out from the wreckage. How the hell did he get out then, he wasn’t a spry chicken and he didn’t seem the type to be able to be sneaky even when the occasion called for that? Was Faith’s region less defended or what?

“The Marshall guy is totally Faith’s zombie, though she is smoking I have to give her that.”

So Burke was in the region too, in close quarters like Pratt was with Jacob.

“OTHER SHERIFFS?”

“We only have Sheriff Whitehorse and some deputies, did you mean them? Last we heard, Pratt was with Jacob and Hudson with John…” He speared some carrots, pointed with them at her then continued. “There was a junior too, I think? Not sure, rumor is that they died somewhere in the compound. Nobody cares to be honest.”

Good to know. Like, okay it felt kind of shit to know that one’s existence literally had no meaning for the people whom they were supposed to be protecting and shit, but this meant that she shouldn’t really feel much guilt in not actually being their savior.

She was surprisingly okay with that.

She just had to avoid the Jail, which was gonna be easy if the Sheriff didn’t really venture out and she was set. Nobody aside from possibly the Seeds would know that she was the Junior Deputy and she hoped they kept their mouth shut.

So Jacob had Pratt, John had Hudson and Faith had Burke and the Sheriff. She was starting to think that if they caught her at the compound she might have gotten to be sent to Joseph. It was kind of strange that they divided the Sheriff department up like that between themselves.

 

What could be the reason for that? Like the whole thing seemed deliberate to her and the Seeds from all she figured seemed to be rather methodical.

Pretty boy had been watching her and she was struck suddenly that he might have been just playing the stereotypical boy-toy persona up for everyone, because there was something in his eyes that made the alarm bells in the back of her head go off.

Something wasn’t right.

“Say, where are you going actually?”

She had a bad, bad feeling about this all of a sudden, so sticking to her story she wrote down the same thing she showed the gate guard. Just changing a bit.

“TUNNELS, WANT TO CHECK. MIGHT FIND A WAY OUT”

“They definitely blew up all of them, and how would you know about the secret ones if you just came to hike?”

Rook just looked at him and felt unimpressed, really? That was the best he could do?

“I HAVE A GRAPPLING HOOK AND I CLIMB SHIT FOR FUN”

And once again the guy just laughed, throwing his head back, his throat flexing, then looked at her from under his lashes with one last chuckle.

“Oh dude, you are a fucking riot. There are no climbing routes that take you through the mountains.”

When did she say that she wanted to find a route? Nevermind. It was easier to just let him believe whatever he wanted to believe about her, as long as he thought her harmless enough.

“Say didn’t you want to go stock up for food? We don’t really have non-perishables to sell, but I might ask Adi about allowing you to trade for some if you helped me with something…”

There it goes, fucking finally. She was getting antsy about his weirdness and started watching the door from the corner of her eyes for his girlfriend to come and sweep him away, so she raised a brow at him and nodding just to get him to tell her what the fuck he did this whole charade for.

“I left my laptop at a friend’s place and Adi doesn’t want me to go there with this whole Peggy thing happening, so if you bring it back to me, I could ask her to help you out with your stuff.”

Right.

So he wanted her to be his errand girl.

Well, why not? At least she could check the situation out if nothing else.

~~~

 

“Well, I’m happy that I don’t have any burning desire to go back to the Marina...” Rook thought a bit amused as she walked away from the house still containing the laptop the little shit wanted her to retrieve.

It wasn’t much of a surprise, she knew from the beginning there was something shifty going on, the house was clearly cultist property and she was sure as hell that this laptop never actually belonged to him, as it really seemed like the cult was tracking their own business on it.

 

So he would have sent her into possible hostile territory, to steal intelligence and all that without telling her either of those information, endangering her life for his own reasons, so yeah, she was ready to go back only to shoot that fucker a few times, but now she was okay with getting as far away as she could get from the house she just sneaked into, then getting far, far away from the marina, damn their food or anything.

 

Let him believe whatever he wanted, that she died or that she ran away, she really didn’t care.

She would get her own food from abandoned houses and bunkers, she was somewhat safe here, Jacob had his own annoyances to deal with in his place and nobody knew she, the escapee from Jacob’s cage, the not-actually-dead Junior Deputy, was here in Faith’s region.

Who she hoped was less adept at sniffing out people who wanted to hide from them all, because there was the whole thing with Joseph Seed too, she might have dodged the bullet once, but she was sure that the guys would bring out a machine gun or something and she would get dragged before him eventually.

If she didn’t go ahead and meet with him on her grounds that’s it.

So until either of that happened she needed to finally make a decision, because neutrality didn’t seem to be a long-term option for her.

 

So yay!

Back to looting the shit out of every place she could, while sneaking around and eavesdropping and watching people, because so far she only got that the so called Resistance members were kind of a bunch of self serving dicks? And she had no desire to be roped into an all out war with the cultists if she could help it.

 

And as it turned out, fishing was an option too, and while she had the patience to sit for hours to wait to catch something, fishing spots were rather out in the open. Which was slightly detrimental when one wanted to stay hidden, so while she had a pole packed away in her bag,  she hadn’t really used it so far.

 

So she followed the shoreline, found a shop which seemed to be partially looted, though there was a person inside claiming to be the owner who tried to convince her to retrieve a dozen of whiskey barrels from all over the lake for a few hundred dollars. She bought some canned food from the woman and ‘told’ her that she wasn’t a good enough swimmer for the task.

Once again she wondered what was up with the people around here, that they were asking literal strangers to solve their every problem, no matter how small or large they were instead of doing it themselves.

 

After that she gave up following the shoreline and went deeper into the region instead. She saw cultists leading people somewhere at gunpoint, she saw Resistance members blowing up trucks which were taking people or food somewhere without any remorse or checking who did they just kill. She saw cultists baptizing people forcefully sometimes, she saw Resistance members blowing up cultist’s shrines while hurling insults.

Both sides seemed to be equally fucked up, neither of them could be categorised as clearly good or bad. Not that anything in life was black and white.

 

She was musing about this when suddenly there was an angry shout echoing in the wilds.

“Get your ass over here, you stupid feline!”

It sounded like it was the voice of an older woman, and she was searching for her cat?

Rook climbed down from a tree and went toward the swearing voice. And yes it was an older woman named Miss Mable, who didn’t even wait for Rook to greet her, just launched into her tirade at her sight.

“Those miserable shits raided my place tryin’ to kill my Peaches, now she’s raced off for her revenge. If I know Peaches she has raced off to chow down on those hippies. She is probably lounging at the nearby campsite, it smells like armpit and processed meat down there, so those Eden Project losers can’t be far away!”

And then she didn’t take no for an answer either, she just bulldozed through whatever Rook wanted to say.

“Don’t forget to take her treats with ya! She is like that little whore at the Drubman Marina, she will follow you anywhere if you give her a treat, now go get my kitty back!”

And apparently Peaches was a fucking cougar instead of a house cat and she chowed down not only on the cultists who supposedly tried to kill her but on Resistance members too when they got in the way?

So Rook just gave her some treats, then stood there next to a cooled and congealing puddle of blood, thinking about what to do. Because taking back the large cat to the old woman seemed a bit irresponsible, especially because of the whole thing about how the old woman knew what the cougar would do and seemed unbothered by it… Well, it lent credence to her theory that Peaches was trained to act like that and that she might have been let out of her cage by the old woman to do all this. Which ugh, was kind of fucked up in some way if she thought about it, because what the fuck did an old woman actually need a cougar for which killed people already?

And the way she spoke about the cougar rubbed her in the wrong way too for some reason and she wasn’t really too keen on taking her back to the woman.

But what the hell Rook could do with a cougar?

Okay, Peaches was cute, though her name would always remind her of Jacob calling Pratt Peaches, which was just no, nope, not going there, but yeah Peaches was a really cute kitty.

“Kind of murderous but she is cute as a button” thought Rook as she scratched the neck of the purring feline.

 

Walking back to the old woman’s house with the purring murder-kitty in tow, she first saw the smoke, then smelled the burning wood, then she found the whole place burning, and finally she found Miss Mable lying in a pool of blood, with her forehead still bleeding from a gunshot wound.

“Somebody came back to finish her” was her first thought as she had one of her hands loosely wrapped up in Peaches collar, making the growling and agitated cougar stay back, though she could easily drag her away if she really wanted to go as Peaches was definitely heavier than she was at the moment.

So maybe it wasn’t actually the cougar these supposedly cultists wanted to kill.

Otherwise she was a tiny bit unsure what to do with the cougar she was supposed to bring back to the taxidermy with Miss Mable dead and the place burnt down?

Not like she could leave the feline just there to fend for herself, it would be kind of a dick move to let an animal who was raised in captivity suddenly be left all alone in the wilderness. She supposed she could try to find some reservatum or something if there was still one out here working.

 

So she raided the shed that seemed more or less intact for anything she could use, then she checked out Peaches’ enclosure for anything else, noted that the door could only be opened by human hands, then turned around and started walking away, the feline at her side without being given any orders.

 

She would have to test out how much Peaches was used to following orders and whether they could work together with her not being able to speak.

~~~

 

Surprisingly they worked quite well together.

 

Whoever trained Peaches knew their craft, because the cougar never actually attacked anyone or anything without explicit orders, and she went wherever Rook pointed. They mostly communicated silently, if she needed to get Peaches to take down something she whistled once, which even she could do. It wasn’t a perfect system, it left a lot of room for error, but Peaches was one sneaky little lady, so they were okay most of the time.

Peaches could even follow her up on trees and ledges, and she was okay with laying in one spot for several hours at a time which was a nice bonus to their dynamic.

 

All in all the little lady was growing on her at an alarming rate.

 

They headed towards the mountains to the east, and she eventually ran into the bane of her existence, one of the wandering shopkeepers.

Rook ordered Peaches to stay in the treeline until she dealt with the store owner and went to buy a sniper rifle from the shopkeep’s rather small selection and some mods she could install onto it, while she filled up her ammunition stocks too. To be honest either the prices really went up, or the guy was swindling her, but she didn’t really want to delay buying the gun, because inflating prices meant her money lost value day by day. That was when the shopkeep’s dog suddenly went berserk and a bison came barreling towards them.

 

Rook managed to jump out of the way, the dog got nailed in its sides and landed several feet away, the shopkeep shouting and trying to pump the bison full of lead from his shotgun. Rook stepped back a bit and started shooting it full of arrows and Peaches barrelled out of the underbush to attack the bison with a hiss when it turned its head toward Rook ready to charge at her too.

So the three of them eventually managed to lay down the enraged bovine, then the shopkeep seemed to realize that there was a cougar in their midst and either didn’t seem to notice or didn’t seem to care that Peaches clearly had a collar on her neck, just shouted “Cougar!” and shot at her several times.

When Rook whistled at him to get him to try to get his attention, to get him to stop, wishing that she could shout at him, to just stop trying to kill her fucking cat, well... Peaches pounced at him and he died a rather quick death.

 

So after that she was left with his cooling corpse, her cat who purred and was trying to rub her face into Rook’s abdomen and the poor dog who did nothing wrong just tried to protect its owner.

She didn’t have anything to dig a grave for either, so she rifled through his sparse belongings and sparser selection, found an actual flamethrower which seemed like it was liberated from one of the cultists and some fuel for it.

 

Did this count as robbing the dead?

 

On the other hand, he had no use left for it and it’s not like she killed him for his stuff or anything.

Or even wanted to kill him, things just happened in a quick succession and she honestly forgot what wistling meant to Peaches.

 

And then she realized that the fucker had some things he didn’t even try to show to her, like armor piercing ammo for the rifle she was considering buying and some arrows that looked different from the ones she had in her quiver.

Feeling slightly less apologetic now, she grabbed the rifle, whatever mods she found that could work with it, the normal and special ammo and the trick arrows too.

Grabbing the legs of the shopkeep, then the dog, she dragged them into a spot away from the bison carcass, where the ground seemed empty of anything that could burn, not wanting to start a forest fire with her carelessness. After that Rook sent Peaches farther away to wait, filled up the flamethrower’s tank with the fuel and burned the shopkeep and his immediate surroundings to the ground.

 

Calling back Peaches, she sat down to the bison and carved pieces out for the cougar to eat when they were out of the open field. She thought about dragging the leftover carcass a bit deeper into the forest or something, but there was no chance in hell she could move something that was probably over a ton in its weight by herself and even with some kind of vehicle it would be too much work. So maybe something would come when it was dark and would eat from it instead.

 

Night came fast and she eventually settled down in the canopy of a rather large tree, Peaches a steady weight across her lap, softly snoring from her big dinner.

And Rook for the first time since she was stuck in this place felt content enough.

Of course things could be better, but the air was blessedly chilly and clear enough, the stars were shining bright,  she had warm clothes and a warm cat acting as her space heater, she had enough food and nobody was hunting her at the moment.

It was a truly nice evening.

 

In the next few days Rook managed to cobble together a working rifle from the parts she got from the vendor. It looked like a monster, barely resembling its original form, but it packed quite a punch and it worked, though not for the distance she wanted it originally.

 

Continuing their way to east, they eventually stumbled upon Taft Lookout Tower which stood rather abandoned at the moment.

Interesting enough, Rook found a note about a nearby Peak which supposedly had some resistance camp, which hasn’t been in contact for a while with anyone.

Rook stood at the edge of the broken railing and stared through the binoculars she found in the tower, looking for any kind of movement from the aptly named Raptor Peak, but there were only some eagles flying around.

Though if they had any smarts about them they would not be moving around to be seen a lot if they wanted to stay hidden enough so she settled in for a few hours to watch for any sign of them being around.

 

There was nothing, so she set out for the peak, believing that at least it would be a good climb for her and it would be a good vantage point from where she could check the region out a bit.

From what she had seen on the map, Raptor’s Peak was one of the highest points in the basin and she could see that the path was pretty clearly worked out.

 

She only needed to follow the ropes, jump across a few times and grapple sometimes, swing across a larger chasm, but nothing truly bad by her estimation, though she saw some of the Resistance members dead here and there from falling and being attacked by the wildlife.

She was swinging back and forth on a rope, trying to gain enough momentum to detach her hook from its spot and to be able to land on the next raised platform when she remembered, that this was actually really fun?

Rook laughed as she swung over enough, then rolled and shot off toward the edge to jump once again, her legs burning a bit, the cold air nipping her face and she felt alive.

She got to the camp, found no one else there, found a stash hidden behind a tent, then she stashed away some of their stuff including a wingsuit and a parachute into the bottom of her bag. Her bag felt like it had become a magical bag of holding with all the stuff she managed to put in it.

 

Continuing her climb up to the top, she stood on the highest peak heaving a few breaths, sweat trickling down her face.

 

It felt like she was at the top of the world.

It felt like she could do anything she set her mind to.

She wanted to do this again and again, to feel the burn in her limbs and in her lungs, to know that she did it with her own power, that she did something that most people could not.

 

It felt like victory.

~~~

 

Climbing back down to the spot she left Peaches waiting was a bit less fun, but still interesting enough and seeing the land from high enough she now knew exactly where she needed to go next.

 

But first she needed to get clean if she could find a place which wasn’t filled with cultists or the Resistance.

At this point she thought she must have used up all her luck for her whole week or something, because every cabin she found was either lived in or it had no running water.

 

In the end she got fed up with it all, went to find one of the streams that fed the ponds around the place and followed it until she found clear enough water where she hopefully wouldn’t be interrupted.

 

She undressed quickly then waded into the cool water, trying to get herself rid of the filth she was caked in as efficiently as she could, her teeth starting to chatter loudly. Peaches was enjoying the water too and that was kind of mindblowing to her, because she thought cats and water didn’t really mix.

She floated on her back a bit, the air having this beautiful tranquil quality, the sun warming her front when Peaches was suddenly next to her and bumping her nose into her side, bumping her to start moving back toward the shore. Rook raised her head a bit and she heard them way before she could see them coming out of the woods. A bunch of guys, Resistance members or something like that from what she could see, being really loud and celebrating something, so she let Peaches herd her back to the shadows.

 

She didn’t have enough time to dress though and she was less inclined to stay there till they found her half naked, so she tried to grab her bag, put most of her dirty clothes in it and jam her feet into her muddy boots at the same time before she took off with Peaches right on her heels.

After running for several minutes in the forest, she found herself in a clearing with some hares jumping around and the voices sounded far away that Rook felt like it was okay to stop for a bit, take a breather and to try to get dressed somehow.

She was actually in the middle of reaching down for a cleaner shirt when suddenly she heard Peaches let out a terrifying hiss and she heard something large breathing behind her, then growls started answering the cougar’s snarls. Rook slowly turned around her head, her whole body unmoving and tense like a statue still clad in only her underwear, the shirt almost slipping out of her hands when she found herself face to face with a giant boar.

Which wasn’t there a second ago.

She would have noticed a boar that size.

There was nothing in the field before just some fucking harmless looking rabbits and there were no noises that came with a being moving around with that size, so how the hell was that thing standing behind her?

Was this actually real? Did she hit her head while she was running?

 

And while these thoughts were running through her mind her hand went autopilot and did something incredibly stupid.

 

Namely she poked the boar in its nose.

 

It seemed like the whole world stopped for a second, both boar and woman staring at each other in surprise, before the animal snorted and swung its head towards her with those quite big teeth snapping her finger almost off. So Rook whirled around almost fell over her bag that was starting to spill its content, then started running with her shirt still clenched in her hand, trying to gather enough air to whistle for Peaches to do fucking something, and the boar charging at her.

 

“Why was this shit always happening to her”, she thought as she did a heel turn to get back to her bag, but the boar would not stop chasing her after it swatted Peaches away like the cougar was a fly and she could not get any of her weapons fast enough before it was back again snapping at her heels, and she heard the crack of something when it ran over the ground.

 

It sounded like glass shattering and metal bending, so she was sure that it wasn’t anything on the boar but rather one of her painstakingly gathered possessions that got trampled by that fucking wild pig, which was fucking splendid. She needed to get farther away before it destroyed her stuff though her life kind of depended on being able to get to her bow or something else to murder it with before she could check on her cat.

On her next turn she dropped her shirt in its face and snatched up her quiver and bow and while it was trying to get the clothing out of its eyes she shot an arrow into it, which while it was great for her continued survival, it also just enraged the thing a lot more.

At that point it didn’t seem to care too much about anything just murdering her, so once again she found herself running away, trying to put some distance between herself and the animal so that she could shoot it a few more times, until it dropped dead.

 

So it went like this, Rook ran, stopped, shot an arrow into it, then ran again until she saw a tree in a field of white flowers and she had an epiphany. That tree was fucking God sent, as she could scale it easily enough, the boar could not and it also couldn’t fell it, because it was a massive thing.

 

Rook put the bow across her back, sprinted through the flower field, almost skewered herself on a branch that was sticking out and climbed as fast as she could before the boar smashed into the trunk just missing her by a few inches. When she felt she was high enough, she sat on a large branch her legs curling up to hold on to it and put an arrow to her bow and started unloading her arrows into the pig, which was starting to look like a fucking porcupine yet it was still trying to get at her.

 

She ran out of her normal arrows and found herself gripping one that had a strange weight to it, one of the newer ones which she ‘got’ from the last shopkeeper.

She didn’t know what it would do, it might be useless, but she was out of normal ammo and at this point she might had to resign herself to being stuck up on the tree till the pig finally bled out, or she could check what the hell did these arrows do.

The boar rammed into the tree once again and Rook decided that it needed to die immediately, when she felt her thighs chafe against the tree bark.

 

So she put the arrow on the string, aimed and shot.

 

Then Rook felt her jaw drop, because shooting the damn wild pig with the new arrow revealed something interesting.

Namely that she had some kind of explosive arrows in her possession and she couldn’t even believe that this was her actual real life and not some comic book or a videogame.

It let out the most ungodly screech Rook ever heard and she felt guilty for a second, because being set on fire like that seemed kind of cruel, when the spawn from hell ran once again at her tree and rammed into it, causing the trunk to blacken in places and it was still shrieking and some of the flowers caught on fire and Rook covered her ears, almost dropping her bow to filter out the sounds of it dying slowly.

 

She squeezed her eyes shut and her nose scrunched up, trying to block out the stinging stench too and looked down at the carcass to check whether it was actually finished.

At this point she would be on guard until she was a 100% sure that that abomination was actually dead and not possibly just playing dead or something.

“The end is nigh, coming to you with unkillable pigs”, she thought as she climbed down, rubbing at her irritated legs and scratched up feet, hopping from one foot to the other and wondering what the fuck she should do, before settling on just leaving it there for the moment. She had to get back to her cat and her stuff and maybe the adrenaline would finally leave her enough so that she stopped seeing stars?

 

A few steps into the path she previously stomped out in the field, she was acutely aware of the sweet scent of flowers she ignored until now and the whole world shifted beneath her feet, making her fall to the ground.

 

While Rook was going down she heard a voice giggle sweetly.

“Welcome to the Bliss.”

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. It might be long and boring... but now we've actually got that ball rolling, muhaha!  
> Thank you for every hit, kudo and comment, I truly cherish them and all of you guys are awesome!!!  
> As always, please no concrit, and I've been wondering... would anyone like to listen to the really long playlist I made for writing this fic?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healthy coping mechanisms and lifestyles are not exactly the Hope County way AKA we take a turn to some RL consequences/concerns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got home from my summer vacation and I haven't written anything in the last 2 weeks because of that (and work), but eh.  
> Edited by only me, so mistakes are my own and please forgive this non-native English speaker for them.
> 
>  **Also please take note of the tag updates!**  
>  We are going to start stepping on a fucking minefield of issues and I'm not a perfect human being so I will probably mess up some things. Please do take care of yourselves!

### CHAPTER 3

_In which Rook realizes that she has flashed three out of the four Seeds so far (it’s starting to become a problem)_

 

She woke up feeling like she was hearing colors.

Or maybe the colors were just the prelude to the choir of smells? Or maybe the sweet scents were tasting like gentle touches on her face?

Rook wasn’t sure.

She wasn’t sure about anything at that exact moment.

She felt like she was everything and nothing.

Like she was the beginning and the end, like she was coming and going at the same time.

Time had no meaning and was everything to her, she wanted to stand and dance and stay still and sleep and everything in between and she wondered about mankind and fate for an eternity and for only a second.

Everything was shifting and constantly in motion and standing still at the same time.

 

And she didn’t know why she felt so philosophical suddenly, but she wanted it to STOP immediately, she had enough philosophizing when her father was still alive and he got a few beers in him.

Dear old dad turned everything into a debate and he could not stand losing, so every family dinner was like a minefield where the mines shifted around according to how they served him best at the moment.

It was unsettling how her thoughts ran away from her, how she couldn’t really focus, how there was a sweet voice beckoning her toward somewhere into this strange world.

 

Rook just turned around instead, then rolled again and again, because it felt like something she should do and the grass felt nice under her skin. On her back she watched the green sky for what felt like a small eternity, the clouds taking strange shapes.

She didn’t know that fishes could fly?

Or that some deers’ antlers twisted around like vines and grew flowers on them?

 

There was a snort from somewhere outside of her sight, then there was a snort again from somewhere close. And again and again, coming closer and closer with every sound and Rook reluctantly turned around, her weight on her forearms looking around for the source, but there was nothing.

 

Rook sighed, turned to go back to her cloud watching and suddenly there were some burning eyes staring into her soul from a skull and she would have screamed if she could but instead she sprung up from her sprawl and started running away from the fucking hell pig.

_It was dead, she killed it, it was supposed to be dead, she checked it, why wasn’t it dead?!_

 

Just to eventually run smack dab into the middle of someone.

Specifically someone’s back.

Someone’s naked, muscled, tattooed and scarred back which felt rather nice... so she rubbed her face into it a bit, making whoever it was tense up, which was not nice, she wanted that softness back, until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you!” she looked like a smiling angel and she was vaguely familiar from somewhere, though she was very very pretty and Rook should remember who she was, right?

She always remembered pretty girls.

Turning around to her, the woman’s hand fell away from her shoulder and she bit her lips and blushed a rather fetching shade of red, which looked amazing on her and Rook wanted to know whether that blush felt hotter than the cool skin that was just touching her.

So she moved closer, her hands sliding up her still twitching hand, up her arms, into her brown hair and touched her face with gentle fingers, tracing cheekbones and her nose and her eyebrows with deep concentration which was only broken when she heard a surprised sound from behind her and she twisted around to face the man with the tattoos and scars.

 

He was very very pretty too, a different kind of pretty, with his eyes opened wide staring at her, darting up and down and blinking slowly and his ears started going red too and she moved without thinking back towards him. Wanting to have his face in her hands, her skin on his to figure out who he was, because she knew him, she knew his face, she knew his eyes, she knew the feel of that hand on her wrist, she knew him and it was eluding her and she felt suddenly anxious with not knowing.

Her panic started to grow and she sank down onto the ground surrounded by flowers everywhere and he went down with her too, kneeling before her, trying to sooth her.

“What is happening, Faith?” he asked and she was attempting to… she didn’t even know what she was attempting to, she just wanted to feel the story those tattoos and scars were telling to her on his body.

“Jacob said something about her being rather sensitive towards Bliss derivatives?” the angelic voice answered and she felt hands in her hair, rubbing the back of her head and there she was, sitting down on the ground with her, her white dress flaring out on the vivid green grass. “The dosage was a bit too much for her… I’m calling Janine now.”

Rook felt like she was Peaches and she was definitely forgetting something important but the hands on her skin felt nice enough and she quickly forgot that thought and her worries.

She brushed her nose against his throat and snuggled in which made him let out a strangled sound and the woman laughed unrestrained at whatever face he was making.

“Faith!” he exclaimed but she was just giggling harder.

And yes that was her name. Faith… Faith… Faith Seed.

And the guy before her felt familiar in the same way, which meant…

This was a rather strange dream.

“The Father.” she sounded the words out as she signed it, then her hand plucked those awful yellow Ray-Bans from his face.

She definitely didn’t like it when she couldn’t speak in her dreams too. The way she saw it, her life already sucked in that regard, her dreams at least should be a bit more accomodating.

“Yes, my child?”

She put those Ray-Bans on and looked around but it only made the greenish surroundings look more yellow green. There was nothing else suddenly unfamiliar or strange about her dreamworld.

Pity she thought it would cause some difference at least, aside from the obvious color change.

 

She looked at Joseph Seed and he was vacillating between staring into her eyes and staring upwards to the sky, so she turned her head up to figure out what was so damn interesting to look at that made his ears burn red like a chili pepper.

She squinted up at the sky, but there was nothing she could see even with his glasses on, but she suddenly realized that there was someone else coming their way.

Rook started to stand up, to straighten out and she kneeled there not understanding why she would not move when she was trying to. Twisting a bit she saw that there were hands on her hips, hands connected to Joseph Seed’s arms and he was once again staring at the sky which nope, it was still the same thing, no difference from what she could see? So what was holding his attention up there so much?

She heard someone clear their throats and she almost missed this completely new person approaching.

And it was an unknown woman dressed in a large jumper, and Faith tiptoed there and accepted something from her arms, but Rook once again lost herself staring into the eyes of the Father so much that she almost didn’t even notice when Faith gently asked her to raise her arms.

 

Though she definitely noticed when something obscured her vision completely and she grabbed at it to bring it to her face for a look, then she stared down at the cross symbol on her front plucking at it.

She still felt cold though somehow, her legs breaking out into goosebumps and it seemed like the air just got colder and colder.

Were you supposed to feel the cold while you were dreaming?

 

Small, dainty hands were on her forehead and Faith’s voice gently urged her to stand and Rook did because it sounded reasonable enough to do so. Faith looked at her with a smile and held out a hand which Rook took and they started walking with Faith leading her towards the woods on the edge of the clearing, and her leading Joseph, because she was still clutching his hand for some reason.

 

Dreams were weird man, okay?

 

They probably made a strange sight, one woman dancing around leading another woman in almost just a jumper who was leading a half naked man by his hand.

 

Rook occasionally stumbled and she would have landed on her face if something wasn’t holding her back time and time again until they arrived to whatever spot Faith was leading them to.

A flash of golden brown and a threatening hiss.

“Peaches!” she mouthed and ripped herself out of the Seeds’ hands, though the large feline she was seeing didn’t exactly resemble her pet, she had a feeling that it was her kitty.

“Deputy, stop!” the Father raised his voice which would have made her hesitate, but she was already next to her kitty and she was butting her face into her stomach and purring like a large engine and she heard a shocked breath from behind her.

“That’s a cougar. How is she petting a cougar?”

She didn’t even know or care who asked that question, she was just happy that she found her kitty as she yawned once.

Curling into her pet she was lulled to sleep almost instantly, which was another strange thing, dreaming that you were going to sleep.

 ~~~

 

She woke up to a somewhat queasy stomach, utterly disoriented, in the forest next to her bag, the large and comfortable weight of her cat sleeping on her.

She didn’t remember putting her bag next to this particular tree and she didn’t remember going back to her stuff after she slayed that fucking pig.

 

She distinctly remembered passing out on that field and there was that hazy green dream and did she sleepwalk or something?

It didn’t make much sense?

 

She had never sleepwalked in her life, she wasn’t prone to do that, so maybe she hit her head and got temporary amnesia?

Something had to have happened.

 

Rook finally gathered enough energy to sit up, Peaches murrowing unhappily about being displaced from her spot. She looked around noting that yes, that was her bag and yes that was her sleeping bag she was wrapped up in and yes, those were the broken remains of her binoculars which looked trampled on, so the entire boar thing wasn’t just a messed up dream cooked up by the last few weeks’ effects on her poor brain.

 

Leaning her weight on her forearms she moved her legs and found that she was in a large shirt and she was not wearing any pants. She quickly checked whether she had any underwear on and she did, so she sighed in relief. At least she was not completely naked in the middle of a forest.

 

Still it felt like there were eyes on her, like someone was watching her.

 

She surreptitiously looked around a few times. Peaches was completely relaxed and she didn’t see anyone, so she chalked it up to her paranoid imagination. Unzipping the sleeping bag completely she crawled out on her hands and knees, noting the bandages and band-aids on her legs and fingers.

She brought a hand up closer to her face, to check them and nope, those were not hers. Those bandages weren’t from her stash, which meant she either looted a place while she was sleepwalking then bandaged herself up, or someone else went medic on her.

 

She didn’t actually know which was the better option.

 

Standing up and staring at her sleeping bag, she noticed one more thing which lent credence to her second theory.

She used a cultist jumper as a pillow.

 

She didn’t actually have a cultist jumper at the moment.

Like okay, she had one now, but she didn’t remember taking one in the last few weeks since she was running around the Henbane region?

Crouching down and poking it, then bringing it to her face she turned it this way and that.

No bloodstains, no tears, no dirt.

It smelled clean too.

 

She suddenly remembered her dream where she was staring at a jumper like this as it swallowed her body. She felt like she was really going to get sick with the horrifying realization that her dream might had some roots in reality which meant...

 

Oh God, did she really flash a priest and his sister?

~~~

Half an hour later after she rebooted her crashed brain, she put away the jumper in her bag, dressed up, finished packing away her stuff and decided to resolutely ignore everything that might have been just a really elaborate hallucination.

 

Nope, not going there. Nothing happened, she was firmly in denial.

 

Granted that was the only choice because her mind was still stuck on how she was nearly nude in front of a fucking priest and draped herself all over him a few times.

Which was not cool of her at all.

She pretty much molested the poor guy and he was a fucking man of the cloth, so it must have been really fucking uncomfortable feeling for him to have a relatively unknown naked woman up in his personal space.

 

So with her face still flaming like she was a demented tomato, she resolutely walked somewhere far far away from the flower field and she tried to ignore the mortification that rose with every moment she remembered in startling detail.

 

**It was just a hallucination.**

 

She didn’t even know how Faith Seed sounded or acted like, the woman might be completely different from what her mind cooked up.

Joseph Seed… yeah she wasn’t going there.

Thankfully she didn’t have to see him face to face, otherwise she probably wouldn't even be able to look him in the eye.

 

So yeah, she was going to need some time to get over this whole thing.

 

Shaking her head to try to dislodge thoughts running through her mind, she slapped her forehead a few times and realized that she was walking in the direction of a road from the sounds she was hearing. Which was probably not the most ideal locations to be distracted, though thankfully the traffic was less heavy in this region than in Jacob’s. To be honest the whole region was pretty much deserted compared to his.

Sometimes she saw one of those trucks carting around loudspeakers which played songs and they were nice enough as she found herself humming along to them as much as she could. They were kind of catchy.

 

She found an abandoned garage and eventually got inside through a side window and spent the night there camped out in the car with Peaches after checking the place out listening to the radio, switching between channels and being lulled to sleep by the songs.

In the morning she went on her way too, briefly wondering whether to take the car inside the garage or not. In the end she just marked the place down as having a vehicle that might be used and that was it, she had her bag and her cat and she was back on the road going south along the basin.

 

She passed along a few large flower fields where cultists were working and she had a sudden moment of clarity when she went just a bit closer to the flowers and smelled that sweet scent.

This was what they made that drug of.

What was the name?

Hm… How did that song go?

There's a shelter from the storm…

Something, something about a fire, maybe.

You'll find it if you follow me.

And then the refrain which started with something like?

Oh, the Bliss…

 

Bliss.

That was it. She heard that name from somewhere else though… In her hallucination too.

She stared angrily in the distance at the giant statue she could see from the top of the hill she was on, because why does everything led back to that wacky thing.

Like okay, she hallucinated getting handsy with a priest who called her and pretty much everyone else ‘my child’, but it has been a few days already, so maybe if her brain would just stop conjuring the whole thing up in the selection of fucked up moments in her life that would be great.

Though at this point sometimes it even had its own musical score.

 

“You know…”

Was that a voice?

“One day I was just like you…”

Great, now she was hearing things.

“Lost, trying to find my way…”

And seeing things too, because Faith just twirled in front of her and did she not have shoes on? Yep, she was barefoot and still there talking about something Rook stopped paying attention to when she realized that the woman was not wearing shoes.

For some reason her mind snagged on that.

Also, why was she hallucinating Faith Seed of all people and why was she hallucinating at all?

 

She dropped everything from her arms and just started tapping herself down for stray arrows or darts or anything that might have dosed her up with that drug, but there was nothing she could find.

“Why... what are you doing?” came the incredulous voice from before her and Rook raised her head to look at the apparition before her. Faith looked genuinely confused and Rook thought that it must be strange for someone to suddenly just start doing the macarena while you were talking to them.

“Checking for injury” She stopped and signed, and Faith looked more incredulous by the passing seconds, and it was starting to get kind of awkward to be honest, before she started giggling.

Rook just stood there and stared at her for a few seconds, taking a step back from the slightly crazy woman then remembered her bag that was still on the ground. Leaning down, her eyes on the still laughing Seed, she reached for her stuff carefully, ready to try to outrun this new hallucination before she did something similar to what she did the last time she hallucinated the Seeds.

“You silly, you weren’t shot by anything.” And they were back to touching, because Faith was in her space, her hands a barely there pressure cradling her face, straightening her out from her crouch.

Her eyes were really blue and she was really pretty.

“Hello there, it’s so good to see you again, Junior Deputy… or should I call you something else?” she asked and her voice was sweet and her smile was sweet and her whole being screamed purity and innocence and it was starting to get kind of terrifying to Rook.

She lettered out her name. She didn’t want to get called Junior Deputy ever again that was for sure.

“Rook. I can do that.” Faith said all lit up. “A lot of our family comes to us wanting to forget their past, to get a fresh start. Look at me! I was the same.”

One of her hands dropped off from Rook’s jaw and the white dress shifted back, letting Rook see the mess that was Faith’s inner arm.

Her hands reached for the arm and Faith let her take it and she let her brush away more of her sleeves, revealing more marks, more scars, a life almost broken by addiction.

“You see them? These were my tribulations, my shames. These led me to the Father and our family.”

A dainty hand was on her chin and Rook was looking into clear blue eyes once again and it was kind of unfair how attractive all the Seeds she had met were so far.

“We want to help you too, Rook, but only if you want us to. The Father is waiting for you.” Rook started shaking her head, and Faith just looked on at her with a smile continuing: “Not now, whenever you are ready to meet us, silly!”

Rook nodded and Faith beamed at her and opened her mouth to start talking again, when Peaches walked right through her and rubbed up against Rook’s legs.

Faith was gone like the wind and Rook stood there for a few seconds feeling strangely bereft.

She was sure that she felt hands on her skin, but there was nothing.

This place was messing with her she was sure.

 

She shook her head, got her bag on, petted Peaches on her cute little head and picked a direction to start walking. She had a lot of ground to cover before she was at one of the first tunnels out of the county.

~~~

 

The tunnels she found in the region were all complete busts.

 

They were collapsed or made unusable by some other way. She was sitting on an abandoned car’s hood, in front of the last one marked on her map, munching on a cereal bar she found in a ransacked grocery store.

Peaches was somewhere in the forest hunting for her dinner and there was nobody else around, just her, her dinner, the cooling road and the sun going down.

It seemed everyone, cultists and Resistance members both avoided these parts of the county.

It was surprisingly peaceful out there.

 

She wondered whether she was finally getting fed up running and hiding, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

She tried to climb up the rock wall, and eventually got to the top and she saw miles and miles of mountains and she didn’t have the resources to try to leave that way on foot.

She would need a lot of food, might not be able to hunt at all and she would need quality climbing gear, otherwise it was just suicide.

 

And she wasn’t suicidal.

 

So she sat there, trying to figure out what to do, where to go from there.

 

It’s not like she had actual plans to get out from here, she didn’t actually want to try her hands at going to alert the National Guard or something, and even checking out the tunnels only came to her mind when she needed to tell a reason why she was travelling through the region.

 

For some reason it still irked her very much that she was stuck in here.

Continuing to chew on the dry oat bar she realized why.

 

This meant she would have to take a side eventually.

She could not stay neutral forever, there was no place for neutrality in this war between the Resistance and the cultists, there was no place for a hidden third party just watching things unfold.

That’s what she had been doing since she had crawled out of the wreckage, she had read every letter and note she had found, opened safes and listened to voice messages the former residents left. Some were scared, some were angry, some were elated.

She saw a hundreds of lives destroyed, torn families and a hundreds of choices made in them.

It didn’t matter if they were Resistance, or if they were part of Eden’s Gate, everyone took a side eventually.

It was a very either them or us mindset and she was reminded of a civil war torn country. To be honest, she felt like she was choosing between a lesser and a greater evil and she wasn’t sure which was which, but with the way the world itself was going down the drain? She wasn’t that surprised about this at all, maybe only a bit sad that she had lived long enough to see something like this happen in the big old USA.

 

Scrunching up the wrapper she fished out an opened bag of jerky from her bag and continued eating interspersed with drinking from her flask.

 

It has been four weeks already and nobody came to check on the situation, but if Nancy was still in the Sheriff’s department she could be making everything seem normal as Sheriff Whitehorse rarely interacted with outsiders. From what she had seen in her brief tenure at the Department, those things were all left to Nancy most of the time.

 

Though maybe all the tension finally snapped and the outside world fell completely apart.

That was quite a possibility too and she wouldn’t be too surprised by it.

That escalation was something that anyone who was just a little bit in touch with the way things were going outside of their own little bubble would know to fear and to anticipate… and to prepare for. Which the cultists started doing and the Resistance members ridiculed them for it, if she got that right.

 

Rook groaned and laid down on the windshield with her hands massaging her temples.

She was kind of fucked either way? Because it certainly seemed like she was fucked.

 

Rook didn’t even jump when Faith suddenly laid on her chest with her head being right above her heart. She started getting used to the other woman popping up in places if she stayed still for some time and Faith started pouting that she didn’t scare the shit out of Rook with each of her little visits anymore.

 

The stars were rather beautiful, she thought with a wistful little sigh, her hand reaching out to trace them. She wanted to be an astronaut when she was a just a little girl. Always hanging on her grandmother’s every word as she was telling stories about the stars and space when she was sent to the farm for months at time because her parents didn’t have the time to care for her. She had loved those days before her grandmother became only a shadow of herself and when her grandfather didn’t yet drink himself insensible daily.

Her mother’s parents have been dead for years by the time she was born and her father’s parents died on the exact same day when she was seven and a year later when she was eight respectively.

Faith’s hand slid up on her arm and twined together their fingers as she brought them down to rest against her chest. Her head turned to Rook to look at her face with a serene smile, her other hand reaching out to ghost against the top of her cheekbones.

Faith had a fascination with her eyes and Rook blinked at her slowly, suddenly feeling so very tired of everything.

 

They laid there as night fell, Faith playing with Rook’s fingers still in her grasp, Peaches coming back and jumping up to spread out on Rook’s other side.

 

With no words out of Faith, just the gentle way she was moving her fingers, Rook soon felt herself blinking longer and longer until she managed to fall asleep on the car.

~~~

 

She forgot something. She didn’t know what, but there was something eluding her and it was making her annoyed.

She blew out a stray curl from her face, swinging her legs on top of a tree, Peaches running around trying to catch a rabbit on the ground with not so much luck.

 

It has been on her mind since the whole thing with the tunnels three days ago, and she could feel it on the tip of her tongue, but she could not figure out what was it.

 

She was on her way to a place called Prosperity on her map, hoping to be able to stock up on some things while she was there. Maybe get some information from the locals, it seemed like a small enough settlement, though it was deep in Faith’s territory, so it might be cultists who lived there.

After arriving to the place she found it occupied by one slightly unhinged man and a lot of mannequins some dressed up, some put into rather suggestive positions and she was disturbed as she looked through the scope of her rifle. The guy was muttering to himself most of the time, doing something with chemicals and to be honest the whole setup looked like a drug lab here in all places.

The time she was watching him, the guy finished mixing some strange liquid, downed it, then started running towards the pigs and started punching them?

She felt her finger squeeze against the trigger of her rifle, his head lined up, before she let out a breath as he fell over, landing face first in pig shit.

She had no desire of speaking with that guy and anyway... the place seemed to be stripped of anything useful, even the furniture was thrown out of most of the houses.

So she marked down the place as useless and continued westward.

 

Faith joined her once again somewhere around the time she saw a shrine hidden on top of a hill. A few benches before a small raised altar, behind it some containers one of which was leaking green mist into the air. With Faith humming a song and catching Rook’s hand she led her right up to the altar, before leaving her standing there, stepping on the benches, dancing on the top of them.

Rook stared at the Seed sister, then hesitantly glanced down at one of the white books on the benches, before reaching out for it.

 

She saw the cultists clutch them and she was sure that it contained information about Eden’s Gate. She had been thinking about taking one to read it, but she didn’t dare to approach the places she saw them as they were usually full of cultists. But there was no one here and Faith was singing and she knew that it was going to be a night like that, until the she disappeared in white mist.

Some nights went like that, with Faith singing and dancing for hours, not trying to speak to Rook, just being in her company doing her own thing. Faith felt kind of manic when she was like this. Rook wondered what shape her mind was in that she was making her hallucinations do similar things to what she did when she was starting to feel overwhelmed.

 

She shook her head and sat down on one of the benches. Peaches laid down at her feet, Rook opened the Book of Joseph and Faith was suddenly there with her head resting on Rook’s shoulder, her eyes closed, humming quietly before she eventually slid down enough to rest her head on Rook’s thigh - incidentally the one where she was shot and healed by Bliss.

Rook soon found herself petting Faith’s hair while she read through the Seed brother’s story as told by Joseph Seed.

The best word to describe her feelings during reading the first few chapters was sadness. She knew that the whole book was written from Joseph’s point of view and it was terribly subjective, yet she still felt pain upon reading it.

Some of the words were brutally honest and some just made her wonder whether things were somehow worse than what was written down, because it seemed to her like they were just made more sterile for the reader’s palate.

She wondered whether Joseph or any of his siblings felt better to have this version of their story out in the open, to know that even after all of their followers read these words or because of these words or in spite of them, they still believed in them and followed them?

She was in the middle of Joseph’s search for John, when she heard a noise and saw a woman walk out from the forest and up to the shrine. She hesitated when she saw Rook, but ultimately left her alone to read.

 

Rook knew she was watched by someone completely unknown and she couldn’t get back to her peaceful reading, not with that stare on her face, so she closed the book and put it down next to her on the bench, reaching out to Faith, to tap at her shoulders so she could get up.

Faith turned to look at her with a sleepy smile, one of her hands coming up to slide through Rook’s hair, before she sighed and stood up, skipping closer to the shrine. Rook went to stand up too and turned to go, Peaches stretching and yawning as she stood up too, faithfully at her side, when she heard a woman’s voice stuttering out.

“W-w-wait!”

Rook turned back to her, her fingers on the throwing knives hidden inside her large plaid shirt, inclining her head towards the woman to show that she was listening.

“You should take the book! I’m sure that the Father would not be displeased if you would take it.”

Rook glanced at Faith who was standing before the Bliss containers, back to humming a hymn and she knew that the woman caught her glancing at nothing, which was great! Now other people knew too that she was not quite right in the head.

Well, she probably had an idea about Rook’s state of mind already because she just watched Rook pet thin air while she was reading, but it would have been nice if Rook could pretend that she was not dreaming up Faith, that other people could see her too, that she was real and not just a figment of her imagination.

So Rook nodded at the priestess or whatever she was and grabbed her book under her arm and walked away from the shrine with Peaches in tow, leaving the apparition of Faith behind to do whatever hallucinations did when one wasn’t looking at them anymore.

~~~

 

She found another outpost occupied by the Resistance, an actual pizza bar. Sadly the place seemed to have lost its original function, though she would have liked to eat a slice. It felt like she hadn’t had any pizza in ages.

 

Now that she was thinking about it she remembered that the last time she had any was the night before Marshall Burke arrived to sweep them off to this adventure.

And it was one of those frozen microwavable ones which didn’t really resemble anything close to an actual real pizza. And that was more than five weeks ago if she got her dates right.

 

Well.

Fuckity fuck.

She was supposed to have her period two weeks after that.

Which was more than three weeks ago.

 

She felt the blood drain out of her face and felt suddenly like fainting on the spot.

Three weeks late.

She didn’t remember having sex in the last few months, but there have been several times when she was unconscious or completely out of her mind where anything might have happened.

She didn’t notice any signs, but she might have missed something and she was suddenly terrified. She needed to get a pregnancy test or something… she couldn’t go through that again, not now, not like this, not here in this place.

She could see the world going spotty, and she knew that her breathing sped up too much and that she was starting hyperventilate which freaked out Peaches too, but she could not stop and everything went black.

 

She returned back to consciousness cradled in Faith’s arms surrounded by white flowers. Peaches was purring from her lap, warm and steady.

Her hands were shaky as she tried to pet the cougar a bit.

Faith sang a hymn as she gently swayed and Rook felt herself calm down, her breathing evening out bit by bit.

“Hello there, you are finally back!”

Rook stared at her, at her soft smile, at her soft tone and felt something break in her. She felt terrified out of her mind and she didn’t know what she could do, going tense as something old and ugly memory came to the front of her mind, something she never really wanted to remember or to contemplate.

The world around her started darkening and Faith started to sweetly whisper to her to snap her out of her downward spiralling thoughts.

“Oh, dear Rook. Tell me what made you so afraid? What happened to you, our darling one?”

Rook swallowed before raising her hands and signing when her fingers started obeying her, Faith waiting patiently for her.

“My period is 3 weeks late. I do not know why.”

Faith hummed at that and continued swaying back and forth.

“Well. We need to get you a pregnancy test, though it might not test positive even if you are actually pregnant…”

Rook grabbed her hand, making her look at her, blue eyes to her dark ones.

“I have not had sex for months.”

“You haven’t exactly been taking care of yourself, you are getting dangerously thin, darling one…” Faith started saying, smiling down at her when Rook interrupted her with a few harsher signs.

“Got knocked out a few times, lost hours or days. Do not know what exactly happened.”

She felt Faith sucking in a deeper breath, now some rage in her eyes as she realized what Rook meant though her hands were still gentle.

“I see.” she said as she closed her eyes and tried to dial it all back down. Probably not to spook Rook more, thought she felt actually a bit calmed after seeing those emotions on Faith. She was not completely alone.

Or at least her hallucinations were showing her exactly what she needed to stop her from collapsing. That was possible too, though Rook didn’t contemplate that too much.

 

“We will go to the nearest outpost and you will get checked out.” She breathed in, breathed out. “And if it turns out that someone hurt you in that way, I’ll find them… No. We will find them and destroy everything they’ve ever held dear, cleanse everything in a holy fire. Do you believe me, darling one?”

Sure, now even her subconscious was swearing vengeance, Rook thought as she nodded.

Faith smiled then made Rook stand up on shaky legs, leaning heavily on the Seed sister as they started walking in the greenish world.

A small eternity later the green mist swirled around her and she found herself in the middle of a cult outpost while still leaning on Faith, before her legs buckled under her. She looked around noting how the cultists stared at her and called out “Herald! Herald!”, when she heard Faith snap from her side.

“Somebody get me Joanna, now!” with fury in her voice and that rage back in her eyes and the cultists scurried around them to obey and Rook looked up at her with disbelief.

 

The cultists saw Faith too.

They heard her and they obeyed her.

Either this was a mass hallucination or Faith was actually really there in the flesh.

Rook just stared at her noting all the signs she didn’t notice before, all the signs she didn’t want to acknowledge before.

Was this not a hallucination like the rest?

How many of those were real hallucinations then?

How many of them were actual reality then?!

 

Then there were hands on her and Rook snarled and Peaches was standing over her almost taking off the hands of a cultist who tried to reach for her.

Not so surprisingly nobody tried to touch her with an over a hundred pounds cougar growling and hissing at those who came too close.

“I’m here, I’m here, what’s happening out here? Let me through, everyone get going back to your job!” a white haired woman passed through the crowd, her hands dirty and clutching a shovel.

“Joanna.” Faith only said that as the old woman took in the whole situation in a few seconds, with the snarling feline, a crumbled stranger and their Herald fretting somewhat anxiously.

“As I said before, everyone, GET BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING!”

The cultists walked away, leaving the three of them alone as much as one can be left alone in the middle of a busy courtyard.

“Can I touch her?” the old woman then asked of Faith who looked at Rook for an answer. She leaned forward and scratched Peaches’ neck before clicking her tongue in the new command they have been practising to get the to cougar back off.

With the giant murder kitty getting off of her, she stood up with the help of Faith and the older woman and stumbled towards one of the houses, which were used as a medical office.

Joanna put the shovel down next to the door before she walked in, then she took off her soiled jumper and put it on the back off a chair and went to wash her hands, taking care to clear every speck of dirt still clinging to her nails and skin.

 

Rook shrugged off her bag and her plaid shirt, sitting on the examination table, staring at her fingers. Peaches was standing guard outside the door and Faith sat down next to Rook, her hands seeking out Rook’s clenched ones.

Drying her hands Joanna stood before them, not actually wearing a doctor’s coat but there was something in her stance that screamed medical professional.

Seeing that Rook would not speak, she turned to Faith who wasted no time. “Rook’s cycle is three weeks late and she might have been raped.”

“Okay, we are drawing some blood to check your hCG levels and I would like to physically examine you if it’s possible.”

Then she got out a needle and took the blood as soon as Rook thrusted her arm out with no complaining.

She kind of disliked needles, but priorities.

 

While those tests were running, she got a check up which revealed that she was getting malnourished and that her body was incredibly stressed with the less than optimal amount of sleeping she got, the constant running and not eating enough calories to keep up her weight for her rather active lifestyle. “To be honest, I don’t think your body could maintain a pregnancy with your current health… it would be a miracle in itself.”

“But in the case that you are pregnant, you will still have options. We’ll figure out something, everything is going to be okay.” Faith added immediately, her hands still petting Rook’s reassuringly.

Rook stared at her speechless, unsure whether she heard that right.

“Aren’t you a religious group?” she signed and Faith snorted from her side.

“The Father has no tolerance for rape. We do have birth control and ways to stop a pregnancy and neither he nor any of our brothers have a say in any of those matters.”

“Yes, we have lost sisters along the way to suicide and giving birth and we will not tolerate anymore of their death. God provided us with options and He hasn’t taken them away, so we will use them safely if needed.” Joanna said while she put away the used instruments.

Faith squeezed Rook’s hand, the doctor patting her on her shoulders as she moved towards the machine containing her blood sample.

“This is one of the med bays which will be taken soon to one of the Gates, and that’s why we came here. Joanna was a gynecologist before she joined us.” Faith explained quietly and the doctor snorted from her spot.

“Hah! And now I plant crops sometimes. Gardening is rather relaxing hobby compared to assisting in a birth.”

Rook didn’t dare to watch what she was doing, instead concentrating on Faith drawing circles in her palms to distract her a bit.

“It’s negative.”

Rook felt the breath punch out of her with the relief she felt on hearing that and Faith hugged her smiling happily and Rook let her head fall on her shoulder. Nobody said anything at how Faith’s dress was wet at a few spots.

“Okay, I want you to stay here for a few days just to be sure, we are doing an another test in 48 hours. Meanwhile I want you to sleep some, you will get a bunk assigned to you…” before Faith interrupted her. “She is staying with me.”

And the doctor continued like she wasn’t even stopped in the middle of her sentence and with taking this information in stride.

“... and you will eat at least three meals during these days.”

And with that Rook was eventually dismissed and herded into a large house. Any other time she might have objected against what amounted to manhandling, but she was utterly exhausted physically and emotionally.

She dropped her bag next to a bed Faith lead her to when they were upstairs and got pushed into a bathroom with a large fluffy towel. Rook had to brace herself against the wall as she shampooed her hair out, using the opened products on the shelf, the glass doors remaining half open, because she couldn’t trust herself enough not to slip in the shower. Rook could see from the corner of her eyes Faith stepping in and out, putting a change of clothing on the counter and a new toothbrush from under the sink, and then fishing out a stool from somewhere and sitting down on it.

Rook wrapped herself up in the towel, and walked to the sink, her feet bare on the cool tile, grabbing the toothbrush and paste then thinking better of it and just sitting down on the closed toilet’s lid and washing her teeth from there, with Faith watching her carefully, before she took a towel and started drying Rook’s hair.

“There you go, nice and clean.” She said, with an impish smile before she took out a comb and started to untangle her hair. A few minutes later, she dropped the towel around her body and got dressed in a large shirt and soft shorts with minimal help from Faith.

 

She wondered why one of the Seeds would do things like this for her.

 

She wasn’t sure what the militant religious murder cult would want with her, to have their Herald - though she wondered if that was only Faith or were the other Seeds Heralds too? - visit her numerous times... though she still didn’t know how many of the previous Faith sightings were real and how many of them were just something her mind cooked up.

Why would Joseph Seed and his siblings take so much interest in her? Was it because she was the only one of the Sheriff's Department who got away on their own on that fateful night?

She was rather unsure, but she didn’t have the time to really think about it, because soon she was tucked into a bed, with Faith laying on her side on the top of the covers, softly singing her to sleep.

 

A few hours later the mattress shifted under her, so she opened her eyes to slits and tried to make out what was happening. It was Faith sitting up against the headboard, putting down a small handheld radio on the nightstand. Rook could feel the rumbling  against her legs and she knew that it was Peaches sleeping at the bottom of her feet.

“I once was a child, with innocent eyes… And my family swore, they knew best for my life… I followed their rules, as I played with my friends…”

And once again Rook was lulled back to sleep by that voice.

~~~

 

Next time she woke up, it was because of a very persistent beam of sunlight shining right into her face.

She was completely alone in the room, no Faith and no Peaches anywhere.

Rook blinked a few times, before she sat up, swinging her feet over the bed and leaning on her arms on either side of her, contemplating her feet.

Taking a deep breath, she stood up and saw that there was a set of clothing left for her to change into, some pants, a shirt and a cultist jumper, though her bag was still in the room. And she found a sports bra rolled up in the shirt and she was relieved she didn’t have to try to find Faith and ask about that, because she had little desire in dressing up in the dirty clothes she had in her possession now that she was finally clean and rested.

 

She ruffled her messy curls and wandered into the bathroom for that comb Faith used the previous day and tried to somehow tame the mess, but she only got it to look much more fluffy before she gave up.

She didn’t have boots on, so she walked barefoot downstairs and hesitated at the bottom of steps when she saw a few cultists milling around the large kitchen.

“Hi! My name is Josh aaand… there is a plate set aside for you in the oven!” said a young guy popping up from behind one of the open cabinets and Rook felt herself freeze up. “Eat up, doctor’s orders!”

Seeing that nobody else cared about her she moved to the kitchen and opened up the oven to check, then as the cultists sitting on the table cleared a place for her without any grumbling, she sat down to eat.

They bickered among each other and the atmosphere was calm, with the occasional singing and voices coming in through the open windows.

It was peaceful.

 

The doctor came into the kitchen, a steaming mug in her hands which she drank without wincing despite the scalding hot temperature. Or in spite of it. Lady certainly looked like a dragon with the steam curling around her.

“Would you like to help out with the harvest?” asked Josh who previously pointed out her food to her. Rook looked at him to check whether he was actually asking her and found him looking at her earnestly.

“...” Well, she didn’t exactly know how to handle those eyes pointed at her way, but the barely awake doc helped her out before her silence could get any more awkward.

“She can, just nothing strenuous...” she said, before staring into her drink like it held all the secrets in the universe. “And you listen to Jeremiah when they tell you things.”

“Of course, Maman!” with a wide smile, the picture of innocence until the doc wandered out of the kitchen, then he turned towards Rook. “Maman is pretty awesome, but she is really strict. Which makes it more fun when she works in the greenhouses and we somewhere else, you can sneak an apple or two...”

Nice to know that teenagers were teenagers in religious groups too. She nodded, she really had no idea what else she could do with herself for the next however many hours that remained from that 48.

The teen grinned at her, then took her empty plate and quickly washed it in the sink without any complaining, continuing to chatter away at them all.

That was not normal teenage behavior by her memories and previous experience, like doing household chores without any grumbling? That doctor lady knew something about child rearing it seemed or Josh was a pretty mellow kid maybe.

 

So the whole group walked to the orchard after they had found her some rubber boots in her size and went to pick apples. There were already a few groups there, up on ladders and taking cars packed with produce away. For the next few hours, Rook helped with harvesting the fruit from the trees, it was an old familiar job and she got lost in the smells, the sounds and the repetition of work.

They had a lunch break and after going back to the kitchen to eat Rook spent most of it lying down on her back, filtering out most of the talking around her just staring at how her hand covered the sun. There were some semi alarmed murmurings which made her raise her head, when Peaches wandered into the orchard and plopped down next to her with a huff, her big head resting on her stomach.

She absentmindedly scratched her head which caused the feline to start purring and the people around them to calm down upon seeing her being docile.

The kid plopped down on her other side, eyeing Peaches like he wanted to try petting her, but thankfully he restrained himself. The cougar opened one eye lazily, staring at the teen before rubbing her face into Rook’s belly with more force.

“It’s like Jacob’s wolves!” Rook raised an eyebrow at the exclamation and petted the cougar when she flicked an ear.

“Well, not like his wolves, because they are canines, not felines, but you know?”

And after that he was off about different animals. She listened to him ramble, nodded a few times and that was it for the rest of their break. She stood up, stretched out and they were back to work for the afternoon.

When it started getting dark, they packed away their tools and took of their boots before going into the house. There were voices coming out of the bathrooms, waiting for their turns and chatting and their group went into the kitchen to eat.  By the time they finished their meal, Faith and a couple of adults came in too from the greenhouses.

The others greeted them, some stayed to talk, some went to their bunk to get their things to get ready for going to bed.

Rook stayed in the kitchen too, because Faith grabbed her hand when she stood up, so she took a seat on the kitchen counter where Faith was shovelling in some reheated stew they had for lunch.

If she considered the rate she was going through the bowl, she was pretty sure that Faith could say nothing about her missing a few meals, she had no legs to stand on.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

Rook just looked at her, which made Faith chuckle and wave around her spoon.

“You could come with me to the greenhouses someday, we have some interesting things in there…” Finishing eating she washed her things quickly, then stood before Rook, grabbed her hand and tugged her down from the counter and led her to the bedroom Rook slept in the previous night, the other rooms held several beds and some bunk beds even, so it was pretty clear that that room was Faith’s own.

Leaving Rook to stand, Faith went to rustle through one of the wardrobes, before grabbing Rook’s hand once again and taking her to the bathroom, which was steamed up, but there were no puddles or dirt or anything on the floor. Rook undressed quickly, then grabbed the towel she used previously and stepped into the shower, while Faith stood before the sink and washed her teeth.

They moved seamlessly around each other, when Rook finished cleaning herself up and Faith went to shower. In the end the two of them walked back to Faith’s room and Rook hesitated once again before she was drawn into the bed unceremoniously by Faith, then tucked in with Faith curling up around her and Peaches padding in after somebody let the yowling cougar in through the front door.

 

All in all it had been a really fucking strange week so far.

~~~

 

Next day went rather similar, she got to know several new cultists while working with them, then the third one had some deviation.

She woke up alone as usual, got some breakfast and was ready to go to the orchard again, when Faith glided in and swept Rook away with her into the deepest bowels of the greenhouses.

It was a massive place, with several greenhouses connected together and so much greenery, it felt like she was somewhere in a jungle.

Despite the fact that the Henbane region was their Bliss production’s center, the greenhouses didn’t only have those white flowers.

It actually seemed more like they were breeding various types of plants to use as crops. Vegetables, fruit, herbs, she could even see some tree saplings.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Faith asked from behind her and she nodded mutely. There was nothing she could add and she had no reason to deny it, it was a beautiful sight.

“We have been trying to breed plants that have more resistance, better yield and other things. It’s a time consuming, but very much needed. We are pretty much the breeding center and testing ground for every species that end up in all the other regions’ fields.” Faith was explaining as they walked the paths between the raised tables containing some kind of hybrid pumpkins. “Of course John’s region has the best attributes for actual cultivation, but we do need to know what varieties are even viable.”

 

They walked into one of the smallest greenhouses and she found a field of those white flowers under the tarp. She hesitated, as Faith put a hand on her shoulder and walked up to the nearest bush.

“Datura stramonium. Main ingredient of the Bliss, which we use in our medicines.”

Rook felt herself grow annoyed a bit at that. “Drug. Your drug.” she signed pointedly, but Faith just laughed and put the white flower she plucked behind one of her ears.

“It’s medicine. The derivatives could be called drugs, but we intended to use it as medicine only. But like with most medicines, Bliss is a poison too if you don’t know how to work with it or you mess up the dosage… Did you know that Coca Cola got its name from one of its main ingredients which was cocaine?”

Wait, what?

Faith giggled and continued. “Yes it was sold as a medicinal drink before it gained popularity… Even today without the cocaine as an ingredient it still causes addiction easily enough.”

They didn’t walk deeper into the greenhouse for which Rook was grateful. She didn’t really want to start hallucinating again from the smell, even if the tent was well ventilated to stop the build up of the flowers excretions.

“In itself, Bliss is not addictive, and it only has certain uses with some interesting side effects…” she got interrupted when Rook signed at her.

“What uses and what side effects?”

Faith sighed at being interrupted mid speech, but she answered her easy enough, which once again raised the question in Rook’s mind about the Seeds purpose about all of this concerning her.

“It makes you more open to suggestions, more willing to be honest. Side effects are mostly hallucinations, depending on dosage and natural resistance.”

“Wait, you mean, B-L-I-S-S is a truth serum?” Rook asked incredulously.

“Yeah, it works like that too. And using it as a base, you can mix in other herbs, which make it have other qualities too, like increased healing, perception etcetera...”

Rook waved a hand to make her back up a bit.

“You have something that can control minds?”

“Well not exactly. As I said, it just makes someone more open to listening, it’s not mind control exactly. It doesn’t necessarily work on everyone on the same level… With increased dosage and mixing it with specific herbs we could control them, but that means going over into the poison category. Have you seen our Angels?”

Yeah, she had seen them. It was kind of impossible not to see one wandering the large Bliss fields out there, with that creepy shuffle walk, so she nodded.

“That’s what happens if you dose them up too much. They were Resistance members who got captured and didn’t want to join us. John tried to make them atone, to guide them to the Path, but his way didn’t work, so he sent some of them here.”

Okay, that was kind of alarming thing to learn.

“The first few were accidents around the time the Reaping started.” Faith continued her story, her eyes staring out at the fields, her hands messing around with another bloom. “Repeated exposure to large doses and they lost eventually their will, and now they don’t think for themselves, just do whatever we ask them to.” Faith turned to look at her  and Rook just stared at her, not knowing what expressions she was making but she would bet that her gaze was appropriately horrified. Gaping at her she asked one question.

“Is it reversible?”

Faith went quiet at that, staring at her, her blue eyes mapping out Rook’s face like she was afraid that she would disappear when she heard the answer.

“Yes. We are still figuring it out, but we have a process already.”

“Then why are you not doing that?”

Faith turned away from her and Rook had the sudden urge to make her look at her again, so that she could see that Faith wasn’t lying to her about whatever answer she would give at that.

“They were Resistance members who would not stop fighting us. They are dangerous and they know too much about us, about our methods, about our outposts. It’s simply not feasible to let them go back with that knowledge.”

Rook could understand that. Faith smiled at her faintly, the flower still twirling between her fingers.

“Maybe it’s inhuman to keep them docile like this, but they are happy and what other choice do we have?”

Kill them, but even if Rook didn’t say that, something must have given her away from her expression.

“Not everything can be solved with a bullet. They are strong, and when we are finished with preparing for the Collapse, we will set them free. By that time they can’t hurt us anymore.”

That was an interesting tidbit of information, because it actually kinda answered why the cultists didn’t retake outposts like the Drubman Marina when they easily could have done so, with the manpower between all of them.

“So as long as they left you alone, you would have left them alone.”

Faith nodded. “Yes pretty much. If they had left us prepare in peace, stopped harassing us, we would not have retaliated. Of course we want to save as many people as we can, but… We gather those of them who are faithful and ready to repent, to renounce their sinful lives and join us.” She sighed and looked at Rook triedly.

“Those that won’t… well. We have the choice of turning them into Angels or we kill them. And if we kill them then there is no chance of them atoning for their sins.”

Yeah, that sounded like a pickle.

Rook wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but she was inclined to understand the reasoning.

Not necessarily agreeing with it but just understanding it.

And well… It’s not like Rook had the moral high ground, she did some pretty bad things during the time when she was a marine.

 

She had no right to play judge and jury.

~~~

 

When they finished their tour, Faith led Rook back to their medical center, where Joanna was already waiting to take her blood.

Another negative test later, and Rook went back to the house to lay down a bit, while Faith went back to her work in the greenhouses and the attached laboratory.

 

She sat down on the covered bed, not knowing what to do with her free time, wishing to go to the orchard and help with the harvest or anything instead of just sitting there and watching the walls.

While she wasn’t feeling tired enough to sleep she could sleep if she wanted to, but the problem was that she didn’t actually want to.

She saw her bag next to the wardrobe in the corner and walked to it to unpack it. Maybe she could do some laundry, though she didn’t have many clothes in there. Gathering up whatever she could, she found an old washing machine still in use in the basement and loaded it up with her clothes for a quick wash. After that she walked around the settlement, noting the guards’ positions and what other defenses they had. It was a bit concerning how undefended it seemed when it was such an important outpost for Eden's Gate, but she figured that they were far enough from the nearest Resistance base if this was truly Jessop’s conservatory.

It seemed kind of unbelievable, that she got here from almost the other side of the region with Faith and it felt only like a small walk at the time. Which must have been an effect from the Bliss as she remembered how everything taken on that tell tale green tint. She didn’t know whether she should try to understand Eden’s Gate’s ‘medicine’, because it made her head hurt a bit to even try to puzzle out which interaction with Faith previously was real and which were imaginary and of course the capabilities of the Bliss.

Green tint to everything…

That felt like something that wasn’t a completely new to her, though.

 

She went back to the laundry room, and found a basket she could use to take her clothing outside where lines were set up for use. She hanged up the wet clothing to dry, then walked back to Faith’s room. She started cleaning everything she could  from her bag and she touched a material at the bottom which felt rather similar to what she was wearing now.Taking out the bundle, she remembered that the Book of Joseph was hidden in the cultist jumper.

 

Unwrapping the jumper she put it onto the back of a chair and settled down on the bed with the white book in her lap.

It was time she continued reading the whole thing, there was no one around to disturb her, so she went back to the story of the Seed siblings.

 

She got to the part about how Faith came to them and she suddenly remembered her dream where everything was tinted green and could feel her throat dry up when she forgot how to swallow, in realization and the book fell out from her hands.

Because that dream felt exactly how being in the Bless felt when she got here with Faith.

Which meant that… that dream was not a dream or the product of her mind, it happened in reality, and there was a possibility that not only Faith was real, but Joseph too.

 

Which meant that she actually was half naked before a priest and pressed herself up against him.

It wasn’t her overactive imagination playing tricks on her.

 

Jesus Christ on a stick.

She molested a priest when she was high as fuck.

She was going to the deepest pits of hell.

 

And that was when she heard a car coming up the driveway, the slam of its door and she walked to the window to see Joseph Seed get out from the passenger seat.

 

 _"Welp, at least he is wearing a shirt now...”_ was her only thought.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for the turn this chapter took, though the Crack Treated Seriously tag has been on the fic since the Prologue and I hope it didn't come out completely from the left field.  
> We live in a very fucked up and dangerous world in RL and I guarantee that a large amount of the people who have a vagina have a moment when they have to consider things like these at least once in their life.
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter and thank you for every hit, comment and kudo, I do love you guys and you make my Fridays and weekend happier!
> 
> [The writing playlist I use for this fic if someone wants to listen to it](https://open.spotify.com/user/nutterfox/playlist/20Slw6LUKokAEuUNZYn3ip)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains it pours, Rook is a hot mess, but that's nothing new AKA two idiots are S-I-T-T-I-N-G on a roof then in a medbay then in a greenhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Only minimal editing, last 2 weeks were hell and I just want to sit down next to my whining niece and nephew and just scream. Otherwise I'm dead. Finished. Scatter my ashes and leave me to nourish some grapes. Maybe the wine will be worth something.
> 
> Still not a native English speaker. Oh and I'm sorry for not posting this yesterday, things got very hectic. Enjoy reading, I guess? :D

### CHAPTER 4

_In which Rook almost jumps off a roof to avoid a conversation (and everyone is a critic)_

 

Rook never claimed to be a well adjusted adult.

So taking that into account it was no wonder that her first instinct when she saw that Joseph was arriving to the small compound was to panic a bit.

Just a tiny little bit.

 

Next thing she knew she was standing before an opened window at the other side of the house. One leg already raised and she climbed out onto the thin and slightly wet scaffolding. That was before she heaved herself up to the perpetually open window which probably led to the attic, almost falling off once right before she managed to grab the slippery ledge. If only she was a bit taller, then it would have been so much easier.

Running through the loft she found a rooftop window and opened it up, then grabbed its ledges and pulled herself up through it to the tiled roof. Then she immediately slipped on the devy tiles, almost slid off the roof completely, but instead cut her feet and slammed down really hard on her ass, with her fingers gripping anything to get a little bit more stability, accidentally slamming the window shut... right before she realized that it could not be opened from the outside of course.

She didn’t really want to get caught and she really really didn’t want to answer questions why she thought climbing to the roof was a valid flight response. Because it was valid, but she should have thought this through for a second more…  that was for damn sure.

Damn, at least she should have grabbed her grappling hook or anything for the ziplines, because as it is… she was barefoot and she didn’t have anything she could use aside from her shirt maybe.

And she couldn’t really climb back the way she came, on one hand she would break her fucking neck for sure, on the other hand she just fucking slammed shut her only way back inside like the fucking idiot she was.

 

She crawled to the edge of the roof and realized that she was in a really high spot with no way to jump down unless she wanted to die. Though jumping down would guarantee that she didn’t have to face Joseph Seed after she touched him inappropriately the last time they had met…

 

Or worse case… she would have to face him because it was quite possible that she would not die but rather break both of her legs which meant he would have several weeks where she would be bed bound because of the fucking casts she would need.

No, better to just wait it out.

Maybe he would leave?

And she could die from mortification in peace, she thought as crawled into the shadows of the large chimney from the burning sun.

 

Not so surprisingly, too soon for her, she could hear Faith’s voice, talking with Joseph on the way out from the greenhouses, and they got muffled by the closing of the front door.

Then she heard Faith faintly shouting and Rook pounded on the roof, feeling guilty to cause such distress to her. But the insulation was thick enough and nobody heard her.

A minute or two later the front door slammed open and Faith ran out followed by Joseph and soon enough the cultists started looking for her too, running around the whole settlement trying to find her.

Rook leaned over the edge to wave a bit, but nobody would fucking look up, and those who raised their head were blinded by the sun’s glare and she went unnoticed.

 

She felt like one of those cats that got stuck on a high tree and the firefighters had to come to get her down and her whole face was on fire.

Instead of a high tree she was stuck on a cultist rooftop, instead of firefighters she maybe had the fucking cultists themselves and their preacher whom she had felt up previously.

And she wasn’t a cat so she didn’t really have an excuse on getting stuck up there.

She was a walking human disaster and she hid her face in her hands.

 

She crawled around the roof looking for lose tiles or anything she could use to make some noise, but there was nothing, so she laid next the edge on her stomach and looked down upon everyone running around, not even trying to be stealthy. If the tiles weren’t so slippery she would be dancing the fucking macarena, so maybe someone would notice from farther away that someone was moving on the roof.

 

Peaches! There was her kitty! She had been wondering where she went because she hadn’t seen the cougar since the previous night, but here she was, strolling up to the main house and plopping down before the front door, before she started yowling at the top of her lungs.

She could see some of the cultists stop running and stare at her pet, Faith walking up to Peaches and opening the door to the cat and following her inside, before the cougar came out again and plopped herself down in the same place, pushing her face up into the air, smelling it, then looking up, though Rook wasn’t sure whether Peaches could even see her from the sunshine or not.

Nevertheless she waved at her kitty and clicked her tongue a few times.

Joseph walked to the door, stood next to the cougar and followed her gaze up to wherever she was looking. He had to shield his eyes even with his sunglasses on but it looked like he noticed something moving up on the rooftop.

 

As much as Rook didn’t want to talk with anyone right now, especially not Joseph Seed, she didn’t really want to be stuck on the rooftop anymore either. It was kind of humiliating, even if getting down might become more humiliating.

So if he didn’t think that he only saw a bird moving up there that would be nice.

 

So when he went into the house again, she slumped back against the tiles.

Figures.

Then she heard a strange sound then his voice calling from somewhere higher and she scrambled to get up, slicing her hand on the edge of a tile, but she didn’t even notice it as she crawled as fast as she could towards the side of the roof where Faith’s room was supposed to be. She leaned over the edge and he was leaning out the window and calling out her name and she must have made some noise because he looked up right at her and his face eased out from a frown and flashed a smile at her.

“There you are, we have been looking for you, Rook.”

Then he was leaning out more, his whole chest in the air, and she would have shouted at him to be more careful damnit, because if he fell, she would kill him with her own hands as soon as she got somehow off this fucking rooftop.

 

He sat on the edge, then grabbed the top of the window and soon he was standing up somehow and he was taller than her so he reached the rooftop easier, his head popping up before her and she crawled back a bit as he just…

Did that actually happen?

Did he really just… just fucking pull himself up onto the rooftop?

Holy shit.

Why was that so hot?

 

Kneeling before her he took her face into his hands to look her over, his intense eyes still piercing behind that ugly yellow abomination, and she touched his hands on her face, smearing some of her blood on him which caught his attention immediately.

Letting go of her face with one hand, he gently caught her injured hand and brought it closer to him to check it out with a small sigh.

“Ah, dear child. What are you doing up here?”

Rook couldn’t help it, though her face was still on fire, she rolled her eyes so hard they almost fell out of her head and that made Joseph grin again, which might have made her annoyed on any other day, because here he was almost certainly laughing at her, but she could not be mad at him for some reason.

“Laugh it up.” she signed with a huff and looked away from him. She was really an idiot, she thought and sneaked glances at him from the corner of her eyes.

Hi whole face lit up when he was laughing.

No priest should be that attractive and she had to bite her lips and clench her fingers before she let out an embarrassing noise or her hands did something bad, like touch his face, or pluck his sunglasses off.

God was fucking testing her.

 

“I’m sorry, my child, I should not have laughed…” and there was that address again and she shuddered, before rapidly signing at him, hoping that he really understood ASL.

“Please, do not call me that.”

He blinked at her and asked with a serious expression.

“Then how should I call you?”

Rook felt surprised though she should have guessed that he knew how to communicate with disabled people. It seemed like something he would do if he was trying to build rapport with people from different backgrounds and life experiences.

“R-O-O-K” she spelled out, then continued when he nodded. “Or anything else. Just not my child.”

He nodded again, and caught her sluggishly bleeding hand again which she had been moving around unheeding of what she was bleeding on. Most of the roof probably was covered with her blood here and there from her injured feet, but it didn’t really show with the tiles’ color.

“We should get this cleaned up, dear Rook, before you get an infection.”

 

She looked around avoiding his eyes, her face still doing the best impression of a tomato she could and she nodded at him. There was no reason she could think up to defend herself, she made a stupid decision when she climbed up there and she was praying that he wouldn’t ask the reason, because then she would either had to lie to his face or she would had to admit that she was running away from speaking with him.

And her already bruised ego would get another beating with both of those options.

Pride was a sin, but nobody could be completely without fault and sometimes she thought that everyone needed to have a little sin in their life.

Because what was life without a little lust for living, a little pride in your work, a little gluttony for experiences, a little sloth to enjoy the quiet moments, a little wrath to protect your loved ones and all?

Joseph would probably disagree with that observation though on principle.

And he was still waiting for her answer patiently, hands still holding her hand gently while she got lost in her thoughts, so she nodded at him.

“We will get down soon, my ch… Rook.” he chuckled self decrepitating. “I’m sorry, I got so used to calling most people like that, that it became a habit by now.”

Rook shrugged, she knew a thing or two about breaking habits and how hard it could be, so as long as he tried, she would be ok with that.

 

“Rook! Father! Where are you?!” and that was Faith, her voice louder and more panicked by every syllable.

Joseph must not had have much survival instincts, because he leaned over the edge without care and Rook had to scramble to grab on his black vest to keep him from tipping over.

“Faith! We are up here! Faith!” he shouted down, all those sermons making him know exactly how to make his voice carry enough to be heard by all.

“Father? How did you get up there?” then somewhat more quietly she instructed a cultist to “Get a ladder up there right now.”

Joseph turned back to her with a calm look and a blue ladder clattered against the side of the house and Rook let go of his vest, when he moved back a bit from the edge.

Rook sat back on her butt too, wanting to know how the heck is this whole thing going to go down.

Would she go first or him? Could she even step on the steps without slipping off?

“How are we going to do this?” she asked from him and he thought about it for a second, before leaning over the edge once again and making Rook have a heart attack and shouting down to Faith once again.

“How much weight can it carry?”

“What? Why would you need to know that?”

“The ladder Faith, how much weight can be put on it?”

A small argument at the bottom of the ladder.

“Jane says over 350, but to be careful at the top few steps!”

Joseph hummed, then looked back at Rook.

“I’m going first, then when I’m down a few steps, you will start climbing too until you are only one step above me. After that we will climb down together, so if you slip I can catch you.”

Rook shook her head, because that sounded exactly like how one would break their neck using a ladder… but what about the window? Wouldn’t it be easier to just open it, so they could go down that way?

“What about the window and the attic?”

“There are no stairs to the attic anymore, so the only way up there is through one of the windows and I don’t think you are up to that climb again?”

Rook didn’t really want to try it and further shred her palm.

 

And so Joseph climbed down a bit, then kept himself a bit away from the ladder and called to her to begin climbing too.

Praying to whoever was listening that the ladder didn’t break and that they wouldn’t fall and break their necks, Rook started climbing down too trying to keep her weight off her injured foot a bit, until she was caged by Joseph’s arms and she felt the warmness that was radiating from his black vest and jeans in the summer heat all along her back.

“Nice and slow, Rook. We are going to do this one step at a time.” he said with his chin hooked over her shoulder, speaking into her ear and yeah, she felt her blush reignite at the gesture.

That was just a little bit too close.

 

And so they did, one step, then another, then another, and it went okay until they were under the second story window. Because there Rook’s hands slipped on the blood her foot left on the steps, she almost hit her head and lost her balance completely missing a step and landing in the cradle of Joseph’s body who lunged to keep her closer to the ladder.

It happened so fast, she just sat there on his thigh a bit dumbfounded and she felt his quick breath through the way his chest was against her back.

At this rate she is really going to have a heart attack.

Breathing out deeply, Joseph got an arm around her stomach and she shook herself out, she was okay, so when Joseph asked her whether she was ok to continue she nodded sharply.

Nothing else happened till they got closer to the ground and the cultists could finally reach them.

 

Faith stood before them her hands on her hips and Rook looked down at her bleeding foot so that she wouldn’t have to look at the angry woman before her.

“The roof! How did you even get up there?! Do you know how worried I was?”

Rook stood there like she was a deer in the front lights of a car waiting to be ran over.

She could shrug, she could try to explain… or she could just stand there and not look at Faith and hope that the ground would swallow her or that she could suddenly go invisible or anything else but getting reamed before a bunch of cultists.

Then she felt a grip on her shoulder and a light squeeze before she was guided away from them all in the direction of the medical center.

“Father!” Faith exclaimed, frustration in her voice, while Joseph leaned down a bit to whisper a question in ehr ear.

“Can you walk or should I carry you?”

Shaking her head, Rook walked forward with determination to show that no she didn’t need to be carried anywhere, she was good to go on her own two feet, which made Joseph say something about stubbornness, which she decided to ignore for the time being, concentrating on putting one aching foot right after the other not so hurting one.

She was tracking bloody and muddy footprints all over the nice clean white tile when they got inside the building and made a beeline towards the sink to get some of the dirt and blood clean from her hands, before grabbing some paper towels. It quickly became bloody too and she stared at the examination table she was supposed to get on, because yep, that felt a bit high at the moment and she couldn’t exactly hop up onto it?

She either braced herself and they would have to get those nice clean sheets bleached and hope her blood doesn’t leave a permanent mark, or she uses the step tool and that has to be bleached too.

Cleaning out blood was a bitch to deal with and with the basin locked down they probably had to be careful with their current resources.

Joseph walked in too and saw her hesitating before the table, with staring at her hand, staring at her feet then shuffling a bit. Shaking his head, he walked up to her to see what was the problem.

“Do you need help, my… Rook?”

Rook shook her head, then nodded, clearly undecided whether to accept his offer or not.

“What’s the problem?”

“Don’t want to get blood on the sheets.” she signed as she looked at him.

“I see.” he nodded and remained silent for a few seconds. “Would you mind if I helped you up?”

That made things a little bit clearer, and he didn’t actually offer to pick her up or something so she let him come up to her side. Throwing her arm over his shoulders and the two of them did some shuffling and some hopping around on one foot and she was finally sitting up there, pretty as peaches and he went to wash his hands.

 

She had been zoning out for a few minutes, stopping herself from swinging her legs a few times, before he came to sit before her on a high wheely chair, sleeves rolled up, vest missing, holding a metal tray with some disinfectant, wet rags, bandages and other stuff, wordlessly asking for her hand with a small gesture.

Palms up, he leaned over her skin and started to methodically wipe away any leftover dirt, paper scraps and anything that wasn’t supposed to be there, then he started using the disinfectant and she let out a hiss, when it got into the wound a bit.

“Maybe next time you will be more careful....” he said, looking up from under his lashes and why the hell did he have his sunglasses on inside a building?

There was no chance in hell that she could slip away, so they were having this conversation at that exact moment and she would be damned if she continued zoning out and being a passive participant.

Before she could think it through her other hand shot out and plucked them off his face, and he blinked a few times faster than usual, but made no move back. Rook put the glasses down on the table and looked at him for a bit, which he bore with a serene expression, still dabbing the cotton of torture over her split skin.

 

“This is going to need some stitches.” Joseph stated as he tossed away several bloody cotton balls and readied a suture needle and surgical thread from the tray. “Why did you climb out to the roof? I heard you were here by choice.”

Rook turned her face away, didn’t answer him and made no move to indicate that she had actually heard him for a few minutes.

Despite that Joseph didn’t get the memo and didn’t drop the topic.

“You have been here for several days and it seemed like you enjoyed being part of our community.”

He paused, while threading the needle with sure movements. “You left your possessions and your pet. You climbed out onto the roof, but you didn’t leave the property line.”

He grabbed the anesthetic spray and used it on her skin.

“When you left Jacob’s territory you also left everything behind in a hurry, but you left the region in short order too.”

He started sewing the wound shut and it felt like he had some practice.

“Your stay in Jacob’s center was involuntary, yet you were still injured. You could have stayed a few days to get better.”

Rook gritted her teeth because she could still feel the needle going in and out of her skin. “Which meant that something drove you to leave as soon as you could.”

A gasp out of her, yet he was still focused on her palm.

“And now you climbed through several windows and even hurt yourself.”

He cut the thread, put the unused materials back into the metal tray, before rolling out some dressings and after a last round of disinfectant he finished bandaging her.

“Both times your running away coincided with my arrival.”

 

And yep, there it was. He went to toss out into the wastebin the used medical materials.

“So tell me Rook. Why are you running away the moment my name is mentioned?”

She stared at the wall and he waited patiently for her to get ready, while filling a basin with water and getting some clean rags.

 

Rook wondered, whether to tell the truth or not.

She was embarrassed by the whole thing.

But she didn’t like lying.

Did her embarrassment now outweigh that if she lied it would come out sooner or later and possibly cause more embarrassment for her? She wasn’t sure, but she guessed… that it would be easier to rip it off like a bandaid and to just get over with it.

He sat down before her putting the basin down, when she tapped on his shoulder to make him look at her.

“I ran away from J-A-C-O-B, because he told me that you were coming the next day. I went onto the roof today, because I saw you arriving.” She saw something flash in his eyes, but she had to continue. “The first time, I knew nothing about your people or the R-E-S-I-S-T-A-N-C-E and I needed time. Also I was in a cage, so you can’t blame me for high tailing it out of there.”

Rook stared into his eyes, Joseph stared at her as she finished signing.

“That’s fair. What about now?”

“I’m only here because F-A-I-T-H brought me here. I didn’t came here by my choice. I stayed by choice.” She waited until he nodded, to see whether he would acknowledge what she said. “I have a question. How many times have we met?”

That made him recoil a bit and Rook could see the slight surprise on his face. Her reflection in his blue eyes was once again imitating a tomato.

“I uh… 3 times? At the beginning, now and once in the bliss… ah.” And there was the understanding on his face and she felt mortified that yes, apparently that wasn’t a dream or a hallucination and he was actually really there.

 

She needed to apologize.

 

She needed to apologize immediately.

 

“I’m sorry for touching you without your permission. I pretty much molested you and I’m sorry, and I don’t understand how can you even look at me when I did something like that.”

And damn, she managed to render him speechless, so she continued, her eyes on the floor, because she couldn’t look at his face anymore.

“I thought it was a dream or a hallucination and I was too embarrassed that I thought up something like that and couldn’t face you.” And it just started tumbling out of her, her hands moving at a frenetic pace. “But now. It was not a fucking dream and I all but molested you and I…”

His hands caught hers and stopped her from continuing to sign.

“Rook. Rook, look at me. I need you to look me in the eye, please.” And she just shook her head and his voice suddenly sounded exhausted which made her finally look up.

“Good. I don’t want to be there any misunderstanding between us. You were not in control and it was clear from the second you turned up before me and Faith that you were not completely yourself. You were certainly tactile, but you didn’t molest me. You didn’t even touch me anywhere inappropriate. Do you understand that Rook?”

She moved one of her hands in his grip and he let her go, waiting patiently.

“But I was all over you and…”

“Rook, no. You were out of your mind, I was in full control of myself and I would have stopped you if you had tried to do anything I didn’t like or if you tried anything inappropriate. You just tried to cuddle us.” He said shrugging and Rook sat there staring at him. “Do you understand that, Rook? There is nothing to forgive on my end.”

Swallowing against her dry throat she nodded once and he studied her expression for a minute or two before he nodded too.

 

“Now that we have that out of the way, I’m going to check on your foot. Joanna should have been here by now, but I’m sure she is doing something important.”

And with that he sat down, put a rag into his lap, dropped another into the basin, wrung that one out, took her foot into his lap and started to gently wash it.

Dripping water over her skin, the drops sliding over arches before they reached the bottom and got absorbed by the textile covering his thighs.

She didn’t know when was the last time someone touched her foot, if anyone ever touched her foot this way and it was a strange feeling.

Gripping the edge of the table, when the water got into the wound and started stinging, she hissed a bit and had to squash the urge to snatch her foot out of his lap.

Joseph glanced at her, before returning to his work.

“This will need stitches too. When was your last tetanus shot?”

She had to think about that for a second, before answering.

“Two years ago, shrapnel.”

He hummed and continued cleaning her foot, and she watched how his hands moved and the way his head bobbed occasionally.

There was a commotion outside, and she snapped her head up to see faces outside the window, then she heard Joanna.

“What is everyone doing here, get back to work! The harvest won’t finish itself!” And with that she opened the door, walked in and shouted over her shoulder to the stragglers. “There is nothing to see, get back to work!”

She slammed the door shut, grumbling about gossip mongers, then took in the two of them, Rook sitting on the examination table and Joseph with her foot in his lap.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Rook shook her head, and Joseph opened his mouth to answer all the while he was disinfecting her skin before threading a new suture needle.

“Rook got a tetanus shot in 2016, do you think she needs a new one?”

Joanna walked up to them, leaned down to check as Joseph started sewing, then said.

“That’s well within the 5 year limit. If it starts swelling significantly or something else in the next few days, I’ll rethink it, but it’s unlikely that she is going to need a new shot now.”

She walked to the medicine cabinet first and took out a lockbox hidden deep within. As she was unlocking it, she looked at Rook and asked her.

“Do you want some Bliss? It would help with the healing…”

And Rook didn’t even wait for her to finish before she started shaking her head with a big resounding ‘Fuck No’ expression on her face. She didn’t want to feel the dizzying side effects of Bliss if she could help it for as long as she possibly could avoid it. Joanna nodded and packed the box back to its place. Seemingly satisfied with the job her leader was doing on Rook’s wound she turned her back and started cleaning the used instruments insead, leaving Joseph and Rook to their silence once again.

“Rook?”

She looked down at him and he looked up at her.

“When you came to the compound, you hesitated. Why?”

Rook had to mull on that for a second.

 

To be honest that wasn’t a question she expected from him right now.

She remembered that day, what happened in the Sheriff’s department, that video, the compound, standing before the Seeds, Joseph with his hands out waiting to be cuffed and hesitating for minutes, before Burke took matters into his own hands.

 

It she put those cuffs on him, would it have changed anything?

If she was not a completely new Deputy, would the Sheriff have interfered seeing her hesitation, trusting her judgement?

If Burke didn’t snap and tried to arrest Joseph in her stead?

She didn’t know the answers to those questions.

 

“Sometimes, it's best to leave well enough alone.”

~~~

 

Half an hour later, she was back in Faith’s room, lying down on her back with her foot elevated on a few pillows, reading the Book of Joseph.

Joseph was probably around somewhere with Faith and Rook was this close to finishing the book.

 

It was informative.

She wasn’t sure she believed everything that what was written in there, but it gave her some insights and she thought that there were kernels of truth in the whole story.

 

She knew their story, she saw similar ones and she lived something close to theirs.

The unfit parents, the social services, the orphanage, being shuffled from foster parent to foster parent, spending a few years in the system before she got old enough to enlist...

The whole thing mirrored her situation and she couldn’t ignore that.

 

It was not pity.

Maybe it was respect for fellow survivors?

She didn’t know and she didn’t care.

Anyone can call whatever they want it to, but nobody could deny it, that those four created something out of almost nothing, pretty much because of sheer spite. Just to spit into the face of a world that gave up on them.

One can’t help but admire that kind of determination.

 

There was a knock on the already open door and Rook looked up to see Faith standing there, feet bare, green smudges on her dress and she still looked a bit angry.

“I’m here, because we are having a small gathering and Joseph asked me to get you. Nothing else.”

“I’m sorry.”

She twitched at that, but she was walking towards her dresser with measured strides, yanking it open and rummaging through it for something.

Maybe there was actually nothing, and she just wanted to do something that didn’t require her to look at Rook.

Which was kind of a shitty thing to do on one hand, because Rook was rather limited in her options to communicate, but she also had to give her that she was kind of right in being angry about the whole rooftop thing? So if she didn’t want to accept her apology, then that was her decision, which Rook had to accept no matter how guilty the whole thing made her feel like.

Rook shrugged and she sat up from her slouch and moved her bandaged leg to the floor to stand up once again. This thing would be a lot easier if she could get a cane or a crutch or something. Even a piece of wood would work.

There was an annoyed sound coming from Faith as she started chucking out things from the closet and Rook looked at the flying objects for a few seconds, before she heaved herself up from the bed and started waddling through the room to the door.

“Where are you going?”

Rook didn’t even look back as she started signing.

“Downstairs. It will take some time, so better start now.”

More grumbling from behind her and there was a small breeze on her back and an arm twining around hers and Faith was walking next to her.

“I’m doing this because I don’t want you to get injured again. I’m still angry at you.” she said with a sharp smile on her face and Rook had to drop her head a bit to hide her small grin as Faith ducked under her arm to help Rook balance.

 

But not before she squeezed her hand for a second.

 

Maybe not all was lost and Faith didn’t hate her that much.

 

Walking down the stairs was an adventure by itself and Rook and Faith almost tumbled down the whole thing a few times.

 

Rook had to stifle the urge to laugh, because this was it, she was going to die because of a fucking staircase now, when she survived a helicopter crash and so many wild animal attacks in the last few weeks.

She must have let out some sound during the last time they had slipped on the polished stairs, because one door slammed open and there was an impatient sound coming from a familiar voice from the bottom of the staircase.

“You are so slow! We have been waiting for you for ages already.”

Whining, whining, always with the whining.

“Try moving someone who is almost the same height and weight as you!” Faith gave a frustrated sound and snapped.

Josh rolled his eyes and Rook just wanted to know where the cute, polite kid went and if she could exchange this bratty teenager back for the previous version. Then the little shit winked at her as he continued to rile up Faith with increasingly whiny remarks.

“Idiot.” Rook mouthed at him and he smiled brighter for a second.

“I could so totally carry her down the stairs!”

“Nu-uh, you would drop her and break both of your necks and I would have to murder you.”

“How much does she even weight? I could take her!”

“Joshua Miller, you did not just ask her weight! What’s next her age?”

And now Faith was laughing too and they got stuck before the last turn, and Rook felt a bit queasy, because maybe she should have asked for that Bliss thing that could accelerate healing or a saline drip or something to help with the blood she lost. It wasn’t a lot she lost… oh there was one thing she forgot.

She was always a bit anemic and blood tests always made her woozy for a few hours and now she got the double whammy in the form of having her blood taken for the test in the morning and then having lost however much during her little rooftop escapade.

It wasn’t the injury that usually killed you but a lot of times the blood loss was a more serious problem than anything else.

“Awww, Faith. Let me try? It’s only like what... five more steps, even if I drop her she would not fall much…” Josh continued to plead and Faith was reaching the last ropes of her patience and took a look at Rook’s face like she could not believe what she was hearing. Rook just shrugged at her.

“Ask her then, don’t bargain with me!” she snapped finally and stood to the side as Rook braced herself on the ballister to stare at the now blushing kid.

“I… uhm. Rook? Can I carry you down?”

Rook stared at him for a bit and he started squirming and Faith badly hid a snort from next to her, when she decided that okay, they could try it once. She didn’t really count on being picked up and swung over his shoulder exactly the way she saw him carrying apple sacks from the orchards. Faith laughed out loud, Rook felt her gut rebel at the sudden change and she had to clap her hands over her mouth before she got sick when Josh started going down the last few stairs. He was wobbling quite a bit under her added weight.

“Okay, that’s a bit… heavier than I thought.”

And for that whole experience Rook planted a hand on his back, hauled herself up a bit and smacked him in the back of his head lightly.

“Ouch! Why did you do that?”

Rook signed something rather rude and Faith, the only one who could see it, cackled for a bit before she toned it down.

“Gently, Josh. Rook looks rather green.” And with an impish grin she added in a sing song voice. “She looks like she is going to get sick soon…”

Josh yelped, Rook rolled her eyes, Faith laughed at them both and if that didn’t describe Rook’s last few days, then nothing came close.

 

They finally got to the bottom, and Rook was back on her own feet and she was sandwiched between the bickering Faith and Josh as she hopped outside using both of them as crutches.

Following a ridiculous interlude with the front door, the moment they were outside Rook breathed in the cool air. She could hear the crackling sound of a fire and the murmuring of the people of the conservatory.

They walked among the strung up lights, their coordination quite shitty, so it would be more apparent to say that they stumbled into every ditch and pothole and over every rock on the dirt path before them.

“Faith, is that you and Josh?” Joanna asked from somewhere around the fire.

“Yes, and we brought Rook.” Faith shouted back and they soon were in sight of them.

“Maman, I even carried her down the stairs!”

There were snorts and someone whose voice sounded suspiciously similar to the ever-quiet Jeremiah said a quick “Oh sweet mother of God” before they were shushed.

“Joshua Kailan Miller, if you dropped her even once, I swear to god, you will get stuck with laundry duty for the foreseeable future!”

“I did not drop her, Faith tell her!” Came the immediate defensive response, but Faith was too busy laughing to help him out.

“Rook? Was he gentle or did he throw you around like a sack of potatoes?”

Rook looked at the red face and the pleading eyes... then she shrugged and decided to throw him in front of the wolves for bruising her stomach with that throw.  

“Potatoes, definitely potatoes.”

Chatter broke out immediately between them and Josh sidled up to Joanna to explain.

“Hah, kid, you should really have learnt that by now!”

“Someone will get your hide for that eventually!”

“Such a strong young man!”

“Control yourself Margaret!”

And similar things could be heard from the jumble of several people trying to speak over each other and there was Joseph standing in the middle with his face covered by his palm as he probably prayed for strength or something.

“Children! Settle down, please settle down.”

Then to the side a quieter murmur of: “God give me strength.” and Rook heard that clearly because Faith was guiding her down onto a log near him.

Joseph looked at her for a second and she tried to adopt a stoic expression until he looked away and after that she gave up all pretense and just grinned.

“Is everyone here?” he asked and a voice piped up.

“Aye, almost! We are just missing Gina and Peta, but they should be here with the food soon.”

“Which would happen a lot quicker if any of you slobs would help us out!” came a clear voice from somewhere in the house where the kitchen light was still on.

Some of them stood up with a laugh, walked to the open window and started carrying out dishes and a few larger pots.

Soon enough most of them was accounted for except for the few guards who were on duty and they settled in soon, giving everyone a bowl and some cutlery, sharing the pots around and talking about how their week went.

It was comforting and she listened to the people around her with a sense of calm, and she soon found herself nodding off lightly, sliding to the side, before she was caught by someone and braced. She felt hands on her, arranging her a bit, her leg in someone’s lap, her head on someone’s legs and she stared into the fire, just listening to the smooth voice of Joseph speaking.

 

It felt like it was only a few minutes before she was gently shaken awake by her shoulders.

She opened her eyes and stared into Faith’s blue eyes who smiled at her from her crouching position.

“Hey there sleepyhead. We are going inside in a second.”

Rook nodded, pretty much nuzzling her face into the jeans under her and there was a hand carting through her hair absentmindedly.

It felt nice.

Soothing.

“You can sleep soon, silly… But you need to get up for a bit.”

That sounded like something she did not want to do at all.

“I don’t think this is going to work, Father...”

A considering hum. “She probably shouldn’t walk so much in the next few days at least.”

And she felt herself being picked up which made her tense up, before small fingers were in her hair, petting the curls and she relaxed once again.

The rest of the short walk felt like a blur and soon she was laid down onto the covers of Faith’s bed.

“Joseph?”

Some muttering between the two of them, then the door closed and Rook felt small hands helping to remove the jumper from her and her baggy pants, leaving her in her thin shirt and underwear only before the covers were drawn over her and she snuggled in.

Faith joined her a few minutes later and they stared at each other in the soft light coming from the small lamp on the bedside table.

It was enough light that Faith could see when Rook signed to her.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“I know Rook, but why would you even climb up there?”

Rook hesitated for a few seconds, before she thought screw it and just told the truth. It’s not like Faith didn’t know what happened between them, she was there in the Bliss too.

“Last time I climbed all over him and I was embarrassed and I panicked when I saw him arrive.”

Furrowing her brows Faith had to think for a few seconds.

“Last time…? Wait you mean that time in the Bliss?”

Rook nodded and started signing, because if she remembered correctly she was all up in Faith’s space at the time without her explicit permission too.

“And I’m sorry for touching you too then. I’m sorry for it all.”

“Oh, Rook. You did nothing you should apologize for…” and she looked at her expression and knew that she still wasn’t okay, so she added. “But if it makes you better, then your apology is accepted and everything is forgiven. Though there is really nothing to forgive.”

Faith said and touched her forehead to Rook’s gently, before drawing her into a hug.

It felt warm and they fell asleep like that.

~~~

 

Some time before dawn,  Rook woke up before Faith for once and she found herself weighted down by the Seed sister. They moved around a lot during the night and now Faith was curled around her back using her like a giant teddy bear.

It was warm and comforting yet, she still needed to go to the bathroom.

 

Unwrapping herself from the human octopus took some effort, but soon enough she was hobbling towards the bathroom which was at the end of the corridor fortunately rather close to the room they were staying in.

Turning the light on and closing the door behind herself she went to the toilet and did her business before realizing that the inside of her panties were starting to become a sea of red.

Thankfully her underwear hasn’t actually been bled through yet, but she would still need to check the sheets to be sure.

 

Hm.

At least she didn’t have to worry about being pregnant anymore.

There was a silver lining to all things.

 

She needed a change of underwear, she needed pads and she needed to take a shower. She opened the cabinets and she found some feminine products in different sizes and for different flows, which took care of one problem. She only had to go back to the room for a change of clothing and she could get clean.

She didn’t turn off the light, just opened the door and walked out into the corridor, back to Faith’s room to riffle through her bag to grab the first things she found that resembled what she needed.

Closing the door behind herself, she took off her ruined underwear and tried to get out the blood with cold water, then left it to soak for a bit.

Showering with bandages on would be a pain, so she unwound them, thinking that she would rebandage herself later. It was still a pain to shower while trying to not get her wounds too wet, but she did it somehow and started wondering where was Joanna’s room, because she wanted to ask her for something for her cramps at least.

She just finished dressing when there was a knock on the door and she hopped on one leg for a few steps before opening it up for a sliver and looking at Joseph’s sleep rumbled form leaning on the doorway.

“Rook? Is everything okay?”

Not so surprisingly he slept only in his underwear which she should have guessed with the way he ran around without a shirt usually. She resolutely did NOT look down and kept her eyes above his collarbones.

 

_Which level of hell would she go if she checked out whether a priest had a happy trail or not?_

 

Honestly, why the heck was he so hot?

That was a question she really would like to get an answer to.

She was screwed, because her libido seemed to go from zero to hundred in just one look at the soft appearance he had, and while she knew that he was a fucking cult leader who was followed by an army of devoted, loyal and murderous cultists… he still looked like a puppy at that moment and it revved her engine like nothing she had seen before and she needed to get a hold of herself, because he was looking more and more concerned.

“I need to speak with J-O-A-N-N-A. Where is her room?”

He needed a few seconds to answer and that was after he shook his head a few times.

“Joanna? She has a room downstairs but she doesn’t really use it…?”he looked her over, taking in the wet curls at her ears and neck, the overly large shirt and boxers that were sticking to her shoulders and legs, fuzzy socks, her slightly flushed cheeks, the way she was squirming a bit in her place… and with the fact that she wanted to speak with their doctor in the middle of the night, he was instantly worried.

“Rook, are you alright? Are you in pain? Do you feel sick?” he asked with his hands hovering over her shoulders and she still didn’t understand why was he so… so concerned about her? Why did he even care?

Both Seeds made her feel like like she was someone important to them and she didn’t know the reason why?

It probably started with Joseph. She was pretty sure that the only reason Jacob tried to capture her was because of Joseph’s interest in her. And the only reason Faith started following her around was because of that too. It was not out of the realm of possibility that all of the Seed siblings have been on the lookout for her as soon as they realized that she slipped from the compound.

Though she didn’t know why?

Four siblings, Four people from the SHeriff’s department plus the one marshall.

Pratt was sent to Jacob, Hudson to John, Sheriff was still in Faith’s territory even after he escaped and now Burke was in his place.

If she was caught at the time, would she have been sent to one of the Seeds too?

She was sure that yes, she would have spent a large amount of time in one of their company. And she had a pretty good guess in whose company.

“Rook?”

At the repeated calling of her name, she shook herself out of her thoughts.

“Sorry, I wanted to ask for pain medication.”

Welp, she could have worded that better, because he looked more worried than she had ever seen him look, the soft sleepy look disappearing in an instant and she wasn’t okay with that.

She liked that look on him, damn everything.

 

He turned on his heels and would have started marching down the corridor, but Rook grabbed onto his upper arm and hello… that was a lot of naked skin on skin contact.

She had to reign herself in and tell herself to start focusing, because this was getting ridiculous.

When he looked at her Rook quickly started signing at him.

“My period, not my foot or hand. Everything is okay, but I need something for my stomach.”

He looked a bit confused about something, which he voiced almost immediately.

“I don’t know that sign. You need something for you stomach, do you have a stomach ache then?”

“My period?”

“That one, yes. What does it mean?”

“P-E-R-I-O-D”

“Oh… Oh! You have menstrual cramps. I’m sure Joanna would have something for that.” he only said that before he offered a hand to her, which she took and they went downstairs to check on the doctor’s room. “And we should probably look at your feet too,”

 

She knew that there was a guard rotation at nights too, but everything was quiet mostly, someone snored a bit louder at certain intervals, but that was it.

When they got there Joanna’s room was empty except for the lightly snoring Josh and Rook looked at Joseph when they closed the door as quietly as they could on the sleeping teen.

“We will check the medical building next. If she is not there we can at least take care of your feet again.”

Rook nodded at that, her arm around his shoulders, his around her waist and together they stumbled out the front door.

 

Joanna wasn’t in the medical building either, but Rook just shrugged and hopped over to the examination table, while Joseph closed the door behind them. Turning on the light, Joseph shielded his eyes for a second and Rook yawned a bit.

“Let me just… Grab a few things.” he said and rubbed his eyes.

Rook took off her sock and contorted herself into a pretzel so that she could see the black thread in her sole. It looked a bit red, but nothing bad, no inflammation or puss, so that was nice.

Joseph sat down on the examination table too next to her and disinfected her foot before bandaging it all up again, then he took her palm and dealt with that too.

His light humming was soothing and the repetitive motions were kind of hypnotizing and it had been a kind of long day.

If she still spoke, her brain to mouth filter would be totally gone by now.

As it is, her brain to mouth filter was not completely gone but her tiredness made her more prone to ask questions she would not ask usually. Like…

“Why are you doing this?”

Joseph stopped his movements for a second, before answering.

“You are injured and I have experience in treating injuries like this.”

Rook blew out a breath. If he wanted to play it this way, okay, brute forcing works sometimes.

“I mean what do you want from me? Why are you here when you probably have better things to do? Why do you pretend to be caring about me?”

And there would have been more questions, but Joseph touched the back of her hand and she stopped signing.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Rook. Since the first time I saw you in my church, I thought that you were sent to us, to help us. Then you ran away and stayed hidden for weeks, long enough that I’ve started to doubt...”

He smiled at her a small, soft thing as he continued.

“And then Jacob found you, and it felt like God was giving us a sign.”

“So that’s it?” she asked and started to draw back from him a bit. “You are only doing this, because it’s what? God’s plan?”

She didn’t know why, but that hurt. It shouldn’t have but it still did, and she drew back.

 

Joseph didn’t let her retreat completely though, both of her hands in his and the other gently sliding along her neck to the back of her head, making her stare into his eyes while their foreheads touched.

“I do not know God’s plan, I just only know that He has a plan for all of us and you are an important part of it. I… I only hope that it’s on our side.”

Blue eyes on her expression, searching her face for something, his breath almost on her lips and she had to swallow a few times.

She brought her hand up next to their face so that he could see her signing and he turned to the side just a bit, forehead never leaving hers.

“I do not think it was God.”

A quick smile from him.

“It is enough if I believe. You walked into my church that day for a reason.”

“Yes, to arrest you.”

“And you didn’t do it. Something stopped you and you would have walked away, if it wasn’t for the marshall. God works in mysterious ways.”

Rook raised an eyebrow at that wrinkling her nose and at least Joseph seemed entertained enough if his expression was anything to go by.

“You sound like a fortune cookie.”

“Well, I’ve been called worse things... “ then he seemed to become serious again. “Rook, you have a choice here. You could always run to the Resistance if you wanted, they would be happy to have you play their Savior, while they sit back. Even in that case… I… want you to know that you would always have a place with us.”

“Because God said so?”

Is she was capable of speaking she would bet her voice would be dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Because you are something special, something important. You are the beginning of this story and I think you will decide the ending too. Or at least have a greater impact on it than most of us do.”

She looked at him to gauge his sincerity as much as she could and there weren’t any alarm bells going off in her head, so she could believe that he at least believed what he was saying.

“I think you give me too much credit in all this.”

Joseph shook his head and she saw a lock of hair tumble out of his bun.

“I think you will eventually see it for yourself however it unfolds. There are events that can’t be stopped or ignored, and I believe that we are at the edge of something.”

“The Collapse. You believe that the end of the world is coming.”

“Yes. Maybe not the end of the world but rather the end of what we know. And it could not have come at a better time. This world... this is our legacy to our children? This war torn, hypocritical world, where the good people get stomped on... and the rich destroy everything just to make another million? You have seen it too, Rook. That something is coming and we have to be ready for it.”

She nodded. Yes they were on the precipice of change, she knew that. It felt like they were in a history book, right before a world changing event happened, the tension slowly ratcheting up before it boiled over.

“The war has already began, just not the open one. It has become a weapon race, a cold war and it will boil over, there can’t be any other outcome. Hell is already here right at our doorsteps and we have to get ready...”

There was a feverish light in his eyes and she wanted to sooth it and she didn't think much about it. Just shook of his hand and cradled his face, before she rose up a bit and gently shushed him. Even she could make that sound, though it was not much of a sound, but it made him stop his rambling which started to take on a rather desperate tone and he blinked up at her surprised.

She also had the sudden urge to kiss his forehead, but she squashed that down the second it crossed her mind.

 

“Rook? Why did you do that?”

She grinned at him, then answered.

“God works in mysterious ways.”

And yeah that made him laugh and he lost all the tension in his frame, reaching for her hands again to cradle them in his own.

“You are one of a kind.”

Rook felt something painful in her chest and thought that maybe her cramps radiated out for a bit. She gently extracted her hands and asked him another question. Though this one was a less heavy topic hopefully.

“How do you know sign language?”

“Some of our family have disabilities and it seemed like the right thing to learn.”

And that officially exhausted the topic as far as her barely awake mind comprehended. She couldn't think of anything else to ask at the moment, so she just sat there, her hands in her lap and he went to rifle through the medicine cabinet.

A few minutes passed like that, before Joseph sighed and looked back at her.

“Rook, do you recognize anything that could be useful to you? I know some general muscle relaxants and pain relievers, but I don’t know which would work in this case...” then he laughed while rubbing his face a bit. “I should have asked you first, it would have made more sense.”

Rook shrugged, before she hopped off the table, almost landing on her face when her feet met the ground, and walked up to him. She went through the medicine one by one and there was some over the counter stuff she recognized, and some she used previously, but that was years ago and they did nothing for her even then.

“Nothing useful that I know.”

Joseph hummed as he leaned back against the wall, his arms crossed across his chest.

“We need to get Joanna then… Or we could get Faith if you would like to try it again with Bliss.”

Rook wasn’t sure she wanted to try Bliss again, but even that would be better than when the cramps finally hit hard enough.

“If we can’t find the doc, I’m okay with the B-L-I-S-S.” and Joseph nodded and walked out of the medical building.

“Might be in one of the greenhouses, do you want to come, Rook?”

She just waved a hand at him and sat down on the examination table.

It was starting to hurt.

She hoped Joanne would be found quickly.

~~~

 

She didn’t really know how much time passed before she heard voices talking that got actually closer to the door. It opened and in walked Joanna, her rubber boots dirty, green stained gloves peeking out of her pockets, followed by Joseph who finally put something on.

Granted it was just one of those one size fit all cultist jumpers and he was still not wearing any pants, but Rook didn’t really care about that.

She was perfectly okay curling up into a tight ball and trying to press down with her hands to alleviate the pain a little bit.

“Jesus Christ, kid…” Joanna hurried over to her side and pressed a hand against her forehead.

She didn’t feel like she had a fever, but she knew that periods usually caused her body temperature to raise a few degrees. Not enough to call it a fever just generally warmer.

Then she was urged to try to straighten out on her back and she did it, though it was rather unwilling on her part, but Joanna wanted to start pressing down on her stomach and yeah, she knew that kind of pressing down.

Soon enough her shirt was lifted and there was a scar along her stomach bared to the world, but that was one scar she didn’t mind showing too much.

“Rook, when was your appendicitis removed?”

“7 years ago.”

Joanna looked at Joseph, who repeated the words out loud that Rook signed.

“It still might cause some problems, but at least then this isn’t a rupture.” she pressed down once again on her skin before letting go. “Is this normal for your period, Rook? Is the pain levels something similar or is it different from the usual?”

“It’s always like this.”

Joanna nodded, then walked to the medicine cabinet.

“I guess the two of you went through most of the things in here, right?”

Rook nodded a bit as she tried to sit back up and swing her legs over the edge, though soon enough she curled over her stomach once again.

“We don’t really have enough variety here, most of our heavy hitters are under lock and key for medical emergencies, as we have a rather limited supply.”

And she took out the locked box that Rook has seen previously and knew that it contained something made of Bliss.

“You are rather sensitive to Bliss from what I’ve heard, but that might be useful now.”

She filled an injection with the glowing stuff from a small bottle and Rook watched it a bit apprehensive. “This might just help with the pain, or at least numb you enough of it, but it’s your choice. Not much of a choice, but I’ll not dose you up on something you’d object to… So I need a clear answer.”

Rook wanted to say that she thought it through, but she didn’t.

If it actually brought some relief from the cramping and the pain she was game.

She signed yes as she nodded and held out her arm. Joanna nodded back and asked her to turn around.

“It needs to go into muscle.”

And there she was once again with her pants down before Joseph.

What was even her life?

“We will watch out for you.” Joseph said from her head, and when she looked at him she saw that he was at eye-level with her. “Nothing will happen to you that you wouldn’t want if you weren’t in the Bliss.”

Rook reached out and caught one of his hands and squeezed his fingers.

“We will take care of you, I promise.”

 

She didn’t even feel the needle going in, but she certainly felt when the Bliss hit her, her whole world going weird and her muscles lax.

She had lost her grip on Joseph’s hand and soon enough her grasp on reality too as everything took on a shimmering green quality.

 

But at least she didn’t feel the pain or th cramping anymore.

 

It felt great.

She rolled onto her back, staring up at the swirling ceiling, stretching out sinuously, her head rolling back a bit and there was Joseph staring down at her.

She smiled up at him and raised her arms up.

Joseph sighed before he smiled down at her and let her arms wind around his shoulders and hold on to him. Helping her sit up, she listed to the side for a second before he tucked her into his side and she was staring at Joanna for several minutes before her hand reached out and poked the doctor on her nose.

 

There was a butterfly there which flew off, heading for the door and Rook lurched off the table, and was off to the door in a heartbeat, Joseph’s steady steps following behind, saying goodbye to Joanna, who grumbled something back.

 

But Rook was off in her own world walking around the place, her attention span like a gnat’s, flitting around different objects and things only she could see. Occasionally she felt a hand guiding her away from things.

 

When she was finished walking around for a bit, she plopped down right in the middle of one of the greenhouses which were used to cultivate pretty white Bliss flowers. She grunted then plucked a few specific blooms and started making a flower crown out of them, because that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Staring at the finished crown in her hands, she looked around to see where could she put it and there was Joseph, sitting all pretty next to her his eyes shut, slowly humming a song that was vaguely familiar.

He was missing exactly a flower crown, so she put it on his head.

There.

That was exactly the place where it should be, she nodded to herself, then crawled all over the place looking for blooms she could use to weave another crown under Joseph’s watchful eyes.

 

By the time she finished the other, Faith was sitting in the field too, singing softly, so Rook dropped the crown on her lap, before starting on the next one.

It helped her concentrate to have something to do with her hands she found, though her thoughts were still mostly scattered.

 

She felt content.

She felt safe.

 

She stared down at the crown on her lap and once again she tried to find out where to put it. There was nowhere to put it.

It was just meaningless then.

It didn’t have a use.

 

She heard murmuring and she turned back to see Joseph and Faith talking softly, glancing at her ever so often, so she stood up, crown in her hands and walked up to them.

“No place.” she signed or at least that’s what she thought she signed for all she knew it could have been something totally different.

Which it might have been, because the Seeds were looking at her like they weren’t sure what was her problem, so she hissed a breath through her teeth, before dropping the crown into one of their laps and spinned around to walk out to the open air leaving them to scramble to catch up.

 

She walked out into the sunshine, the warmth feeling good on her skin and everything looked different from what it was like the last time she saw these things and they needed a newer inspection.

 

She looked at the people she saw, they smiled at her, she looked at the trees and they seemed happy to see her too.

She wanted to see everything.

 

And the best place to see everything was somewhere high, so she just sprinted over to the rock wall behind the place, leapt up to a ledge  and started climbing, ignoring the alarmed shouts behind her.

 

Man she loved this...

Feeling the exertion, the heat on her neck, the sweat gliding down her back, it felt so good.

And then she was at the top, sitting on the ledge, staring at them all milling around, before she flopped down on her back and went to sleep.

~~~

 

She woke up in Faith’s bed once again and she wondered who was carrying her back to this place time and time again.

 

A day must have passed at least or she still had Bliss in her veins because the pain was manageable now. Rook sat up, stared at her legs for a second feeling dirt on her skin. Sniffing her armpits, she decided that yes, she needed a shower.

Immediately.

 

Grabbing the first thing she found, she went to the bathroom and briefly wondered whether she changed her pads on her own or she had help in that. It was a bit disquieting thought, that was for sure and she finally remembered going to the bathroom a few times, but nothing was completely clear.

With previous experience concerning Bliss, she knew that it would all come back eventually, her brain just needed a little time. She finished showering and felt like an actual human by then.

 

She could hear voices chatting from downstairs so she walked into the kitchen which was filled with people eating lunch, Joseph and Faith in the middle of their flock.

“Rook!”

“Hi!”

“You are awake!”

“Welcome back!”

“You are not allergic to dairy, right?”

She was cheerfully greeted by some of them, getting waved in, then prompted to sit down next to Joseph by Elena with a small wink. Someone got a bowl from the stack and filled it with something from the pot in the middle of the table.

She signed a quick thank you, then once again when she got some utensils.

It was mac and cheese. Granted it looked a bit strange and someone clearly made it with too much liquid, but it looked edible, so she took a bite and it was… not exactly good, but she had her fair share of MRE over the years, so she didn’t have anything to complain about.

“Is it horrible?” asked Joseph from the side, pushing around some noodles on the bottom of his bowl.

Rook looked at him before shaking her head.

“It’s not bad.”

“But it’s not good either.”

And there was a small self deprecating smiles on his face.

“Don’t worry Father! It’s way better than the last time and no first aid was needed!” said Josh and shovelled more into his bowl from the pot.

Joseph grumbled, some of the cultists laughed at that and Faith almost choked on her next bite.

“I sure hope so, because I had no hand in that. It was all Jacob.”

“Aww, Father! Way to throw poor Jacob under the bus.” someone said from the side, and Joseph sighed.

Where did all the respect go for him?

Granted they had all seen him going to the medical building, because it turns out that cooking without an apron or even a shirt on could be hazardous to one’s chest and nipples.

 

And that’s how Rook was told the epic adventure of trying to make mac and cheese from a box, the three part epic saga of how John and Faith noped out, before Joseph had to get medical aid for his nipples, while Jacob made something that could be only recognized as mac and cheese in the vaguest terms if you squinted a lot.

 

These people were nuts, Rook thought and hid her smile behind her bowl.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I wanted to say, maybe something about thinking about adding that 2nd hand embarrassment tag. Hm. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter and thank you for every comment and kudo and hit!!! Every one of you rocks, but you all know that already. :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl goes on a trip with a priest and some of the peanut gallery AKA Hope County has a 100 problems and 99 of them isn't because of the cult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. So I have no excuse, except one advice, I guess? If you are feeling nauseous, get dizzy a lot and you almost constantly have a headache when you are home in your flat... maybe get your chimney checked, because your neighbour might have 'accidentally' installed a heater/boiler where they shouldn't have.  
> So yeah, that was something that happened.
> 
> Went through this only once, editing and writing is kind of time consuming on a phone screen. My mistakes are my own and still not a native English speaker, so there is that too.

### CHAPTER 5

_In which Rook has the daytrip of hell (Joseph too)_

 

That night, after they finished for the day in the orchards, she was sitting cross legged on the bed towelling her hair dry, dressed in what became her pyjamas in the Conservatory while Faith was faintly singing in the bathroom.

 

There was a knock on the door and she turned around to see Joseph, still dressed up from the day and she felt a bit self conscious for a second before she remembered, that yes, he had already seen all the goods, so seeing her in sleepwear was relatively tame in comparison to that.

 

She waved him inside and he dragged the chair from the window to sit before her.

When he didn’t immediately start talking she grabbed a brush and started untagling her hair. It was getting longer and it started to hang in her eyes, so she probably needed to cut it back again, maybe even shorter... or she needed a bunch of bobby pins again, because she lost quite a lot of them during the last few weeks.

Glancing at Joseph, she saw that he was still deep in thought, so she sat there waiting for him to get ready still wrestling with a few stubborn knots.

 

“I’m leaving tomorrow to meet with John.”

Oh. Okay, it was probably given that he traveled a lot around when he wasn’t sequestered away in his Compound and that he didn’t spend a lot of time in one place aside from that. It was probably safer that way even if it must be rather lonely to always be on the move.

 

There must be some reason why would he come to tell her just that, though?

He seemed rather unsure on how to continue, so after a few seconds of silence, she tried to prompt him a bit.

“Should I wish you a good journey then?”

He stared at her and she smiled at him quickly.

“I was hoping to ask you whether you would like to come to the Valley?”

Why was there always so much staring between them?

Rook thought about it, she hasn't seen the Valley yet, though it had been her plan to eventually get there. There was no reason for her to stay here anymore, though she would not like to leave Faith behind like this. She liked the other woman a lot and would be sad to be alone from now on, but she had an opportunity now to see more of the county. To figure out what the hell she actually wanted.

Meanwhile Joseph started saying that she could stay in the Conservatory if she didn’t want to leave so soon and she interrupted him midword.

“Okay. When do we leave?”

He looked a bit flabbergasted at her sudden answer then almost immediately he had a small pleased smile as he stood up and looked back at her.

“We are leaving after breakfast if it’s good for you…?”

Rook nodded, it was okay for her, she could repack her bag quickly in the morning. She certainly had tried to keep her pack pretty light before she would probably not need too much time.

“Good. Okay. Goodnight then.”

“Goodbye.” She signed back and he walked out, meeting Faith in the corridor and quietly exchanging a few words, before she heard the bathroom door close and Faith walking into the room.

“So you are off to visit John.” She said as soon as she saw her sitting on the bed. “Good, he is the Baptist and he certainly has an… interesting way to look at things.”

Rook grunted and crawled to her pillow, followed by Faith plopping down on the sheets.

“He is kind of a dick, though… Oh God, don’t ever let anyone know I said that.”

Rook whipped her head back a scandalised expression on her face, and she gaped for a good measure before she signed.

“You took God’s name in vain! Also saying something like that about your brother, shame on you F!”

“Rook! I just…” and Rook couldn’t take it anymore she just started laughing and Faith stared at her before grabbing the pillow and attempting to strangle her with it. “You little shit!”

“Bad word! Language!” She signed repeatedly while trying to twist out from the assault.

Rook was still wheezing with laughter when Faith dropped the pillow and leaned over her a giant grin on her face stretching ear to ear.

“You are such a dick.”

Rook reached out her hands in the air so that she didn’t have to get up too much.

“Takes one to know one.”

Faith hummed and brushed back an errant curl from Rook’s face, chewing on her lips clearly indecisive about something before her face got serious.

“Rook. Please be careful around him. Joseph loves him, so he doesn’t really see it… John is… John is… He is unpredictable.”

Rook scanned her face, saw concern and nodded slowly. Faith released a breath and dropped down on Rook’s chest with a huff, Rook just grunted from the sudden weight on her. Faith dug her pointy chin into her chest and Rook squirmed a bit at that.

“I guess, he could be called hot. If one is into guys.”

And that was… Rook leveled an incredulous stare at her, though she didn’t see it, so Rook flicked her forehead, which caused her to yelp and look up at Rook with a betrayed expression and finally seeing Rook’s face.

“What? Some of the girls and boys go gaga over him, I hear things Rook, things that I could never bleach from my brain…”

“He is your brother!”

“Pffft. I’m adopted. And I didn’t say I find him hot, duh. He is so not my type.” She said fluttering her eyelashes at Rook, who was laughing silently, so she didn’t notice that Faith had a strange glint in her eyes, though she definitely noticed when Faith’s fingers slipped under her shirt.

Rook froze, her sides twitchhing before she squashed the urge and tried to keep still.

But Faith… Faith saw that twitch and her grin grew.

If she could she would have shrieked when Faith fingers danced over her skin and they started a tickle fight, which almost had Faith land down in a heap on the ground when Rook kicked out, her face completely red, out of breath.

“Awww, poor Rook is bit ticklish… who would have thought?”

Still trying to get her breath back, Rook just raised a middle finger in the general vicinity where Faith’s voice was coming from, getting another clear laugh from the other woman.

Popping up she put her arms on the comforter, her head resting against them and looked at Rook.

“I’ll miss you a bit.”

Rook looked back at her.

“I’ll miss you too. Just a bit.”

Faith winked at her, clambering up the bed without any grace whatsoever, almost kneeing Rook in her sides a few times.

“Forget that, I will not miss you at all.”

“No take backs, silly! You are stuck with me.”

Well. She could probably get stuck with a worse person, but Faith was okay, kind of a bitch at times, but she was okay in her books.

They settled down to sleep, Rook trying to keep some distance between them, because she saw how Faith’s fingers twitched and combined with that unholy smirk on her face, she wasn’t sure she was safe from another tickling session.

And then she would have to kill Faith.

~~~

 

Waking up after sleeping with Faith was an experience sometimes, mostly a trying one, because she might have spent the whole night cuddled like a teddy bear which was a rather strange and constricting thing to woke up to.

 

It was just a bit before dawn if what the small clock on the bedside table said was accurate.

 

Faith was back to playing an octopus and Rook had to shove her over to get her to let go. She grabbed the chair, walked to the window opened it, then sat down to stare out into the dark.

She wondered whether her decision to leave with Joseph was a good one. It was calm and peaceful… and she had things she needed to do, which she couldn’t do here, under Faith’s watch.

 

She needed to figure out which side she would take.

She wasn’t sure whether her leaning towards the cultists was just because she spent more time with them than anyone else in this place or because she had liked the Seeds she had come to actually known or something else.

She wasn’t sure whether she was biased against the Resistance already. Should she try to see what they were about again? Whether they were the innocents they claimed to be, who were just fighting against murderous cultists?

Should she try to slip away in the Valley? The terrain would not be conductive to sneaking with those open fields, but she heard that some of the biggest Resistance names were in that area. Still she didn’t know them, she didn’t feel a lot of things towards them.

She wondered whether that made her a terrible human being...

 

She wasn’t sure she cared about that at all.

 

Dawn came and the house started to stir. Faith reached, found the empty space next to her and raised her head to check the room for her wayward bedmate.

By this time, Rook had her legs over the windowsill, bare feet out the window, leaning back against the chair, her arms crossed across her chest and watching the sunrise. She could hear Faith rustling the sheets, but she remained in her position staring outside still mulling over the Resistance thing.

Faith opened the wardrobe and did her morning routine, then walked up to Rook and put a hand on her shoulder. Rook patted it once, then heaved a sigh.

“I’m going to get ready some things for you while you pack up here.”

After squeezing her shoulder, she let her go.

“You can come back anytime you want. And next time you have that time of the month, our doors are always open for you, silly.”

Rook smiled though Faith couldn’t really see it.

“Thank you.”

 

With a quick bathroom run, she collected a few things and finished a part of her morning routine. On her way back she could hear murmuring coming from Joseph’s closed door, soft prayers and she tiptoed back to Faith’s room.

She packed up her things, then she tried to figure out whether she should wear the cultist jumper or not.

It would make her more anonymous in Joseph’s company, but it would also made her more of a target for the Resistance… Well, she could always take it off if something like that happened.

 

She checked her disassembled bow and rifle, found everything accounted for and reassembled her bow to have at least one ranged weapon on her. The rifle needed to be cleaned and oiled for sure and that wasn’t something she had time for now.

She should not have spent so much time thinking, but it wasn’t something she felt guilty for at the moment. She needed the time to sit down and think a bit alone.

 

She grabbed her canteen and heard the tell-tale splosh inside so she certainly had to wash it out before she filled it with fresh water. She didn’t have a lot of food in there, not anything that was perishable, and nothing broke their package so she didn’t have a mess on her hands either.

She dressed up, put her bag and her bow on, the quiver on her side, her canteen in her hand and took one look around the room to see whether she had missed something, though she knew she never really unpacked her bag during her stay.

 

Elena and Sebastian was already in the kitchen, she was making scrambled eggs in a large skillet, they were pounding some kind of dough on the counter.

“Morning Rook! Rumor has it you are leaving today?”

Rook grunted, waved at them and went to drop her bag into an unused corner, while rolling up her sleeves a bit.

After she washed her hands, she went to the fridge and brought some more eggs to Elena.

“Thank you! So are you really leaving with the Father… just the two of you?” she asked again her eyebrows wriggling at her. Rook snorted then pushed her face away when she started making kissy faces at her.

“All alone… for hours…”

It was way too early for Elena’s daydreaming. She decided to ignore the woman and went to the cabin which she knew had several containers containing tea leaves. They had nothing on coffee, or even black tea, but it worked as something of a placebo at least.

 

Soon enough people started coming down to tumble into the kitchen, most of them with bleary faces squinting around, though there were a few with bright shiny eyes almost bouncing around in their place too.

There was the change of guards coming in eating a few bites before going to their bunks to pass out. They said goodbye to her and told her to pass their well wishes onto the Father when they left.

Joseph came inside with a soft greeting and breakfast started in full swing.

 

Faith came into the kitchen carrying a small bag in her hands, at the exact time Rook finished eating her eggs, like her sense of timing was truly something supernatural.

She dropped the bag into Rook’s lap with a mutter about it being a med kit then grabbed a mug and sat down before her and Joseph.

 

“Take care of each other on the road.” She said over the lip of her mug.

Joseph stopped buttering a toast and looked straight at her, before reaching out and patting her hand.

“We will, Faith don’t worry. God won’t let us get hurt.”

And Rook looked up just in time to catch the flicker of doubt in Faith’s eyes and she was sure that Joseph saw it too. His non reaction showed that it wasn’t a new thing or something serious but it was still rather interesting.

Or he had a really good poker face, which was a real possibility and she would have needed to see his eyes to truly know whether he was as unmoved by Faith’s lack of faith as his face suggested. But those damned Ray-Bans were on his face again, which was kind of fucking rude in the middle of breakfast in the middle of their kitchen.

So Rook signed at Faith.

“I’ll take care of him until we get to J-O-H-N, I promise.”

Faith smiled into her mug while taking a sip.

“Thank you, Rook.”

And Rook nodded back, going back to trying to finish the toasts Joseph had been piling on her plate, before nudging him in the side, so he would stop, because there was no way she could eat so many.

She was pretty sure that she wouldn’t be able to look at toasts for a few weeks after this morning without feeling nauseous.

“Stop. If you don’t put down that butter knife so help me God, I’ll make you eat all this, J-O-S-E-P-H S-E-E-D.”

Gauging how serious she was, he slowly put down the butter knife before reaching out for a toast on her prompting and starting to eat it without a complaint.

Faith could not really hide her mirth anymore, and the people around them looked on with amusement.

 

She was surrounded by children.

 

Still she felt like something was missing. Like the usual morning routine was broken and then she remembered what not present.

Where was her kitty?

This was usually the time she started yowling at the door to be let in so she could beg for scraps from the table.

She didn’t remember seeing her in the last few days when she was in the Bliss, though that experience was still a bit foggy.

“Where is my cat?”

Faith looked around surprised.

“I haven’t really seen her today, but I’m sure she will turn up before you have to leave.”

She scarcely finished saying that and there was the telltale yowling and scratching on the front door. Hinges creaked and there was her kitty bounding into the kitchen laying her head into her lap and purring like a giant engine.

Rook absentmindedly petted her head, while taking a bite out of the toast in her left hand.

All was well.

 

They eventually finished eating, Rook finally taking mercy on Joseph as she handed out all the remaining slices on her plate among those that were still eating and they have all said their cheerful goodbyes.

Rook got several hugs and Elena stuffed a wrapped package into her bag while she was talking with Josh who powered through a giant stack of eggs on toast.

“It’s from all of us, use it well.”

When she looked at Elena questioning she just winked at her and Rook resolutely did not want to ask. It was without doubt something embarrassing and she probably did not want to open it up before all of them, even if her fingers itched to just unwrap the thing.

 

Then there was a hand touching her upper arm and she wrapped her hand around Joseph’s without much thought, then instantly froze when she had realized what she had done.

It felt natural, to reach for him like that and she remembered walking hand in hand with him when she was in the Bliss. His hands bigger than hers, calloused and his grip sure but still gentle.

Turning his head to look at her he tugged on her hand softly and she started walking with him to the truck outside bearing the Eden’s Gate insignia and modified with a rifle as a turret.

She immediately stopped, slipping her hand out of his hold, looking down at the cougar next to her feet, then back to the truck.

She should have known that they would have to drive and it hadn’t occurred to her how the cougar would take that.

How did Ms Mable handle travelling with the feline? Was she ever actually taken to somewhere in a car or did the vet make the visits to the taxidermy?

Did they need to get a cage or anesthetize Peaches? Having her run on the side of the road sounded cruel and it also seemed like a very dangerous thing to do.

Joseph meanwhile walked up to the truck opened one of the backdoors and rolled down the window some. Not completely, just a little bit, before gesturing at the two of them.

“Peaches?”

Rook raised an eyebrow and clicked her tongue when she walked to the open door, watching the cougar flick her ears a bit and swish her tail before she got up and jumped onto one of the backseats.

Rook closed the door, reached through the semi open window, rubbing her ears, letting her nuzzle her into her neck before letting go of her and looking at Joseph.

“With that out of the way... James you are up on the gun, Driss you are in the backseat.” He went to the other side of the car, rifling through something, before he tossed a helmet at her.

“Rook, wear that please.”

Rook nodded, before stashing her bag at the passenger seat’s leg, putting on the helmet, though noticing that Joseph was not wearing one, while all three of them did.

“Why are you not wearing one?”

Joseph just waved a hand at her question and didn’t answer her. Faith walked up to them, thrusting out the small bag in her hands into Rook’s chest and Rook was diverted from demanding an answer from Joseph’s lack of helmet.

“Some useful things for you, silly.” Faith reached out with a hand, and brought down Rook’s head a bit to even out the small height difference between them and touched her forehead to hers. “Be careful, Rook. I mean it.” she whispered into her face, blue eyes piercing hers.

Rook smiled softly at Faith, a small nod and Faith’s smile brightened and she flounced off to Joseph to repeat the forehead touch with him. Rook leaned on the open door and looked around one last time. Most of the people in the Conservatory went on about their business, though there were some who shouted goodbyes at them.

Joseph came back to the car, getting into the driver’s seat an assault rifle slung across his shoulders, James got up to his perch, Driss climbed into the backseat, taking a second look at the sprawled feline next to him and Rook slipped into her seat too, packing away the second small bag from Faith in her bag.

 

They rolled out of the Conservatory with little fanfare, the road turning to concrete from packed ground on their way to Holland Valley.

~~~

 

They have been travelling for a few hours and they were still in the Henbane River’s region.

 

Rook turned on the radio half an hour in, then spent the drive switching between watching the scenery and watching Joseph drive.

Sometimes she heard James bellowing out the lyrics to some of the songs, Driss murmuring from the backseat, Joseph leaning on his elbow, tapping occasionally while driving with one hand.

 

She had a sudden flash of memory of a woman with her hair doing the same in their old pickup, when she quit smoking. Not that it did anything good for her mother, she died of cancer in the next few years.

 

Did Joseph ever smoke?

He probably had some vices during his life, and from his small ticks while he was driving, she would have guessed that smoking was one of his.

Probably not recently.

 

Rook took out her map and tried to figure out where they were currently. From what she knew they were following the main road to the west, which meant that they would get in sight of the jail and she looked at Joseph questioning.

 

“We could make a detour if the thought of going close to that place bothers you, Rook.” he said, tapping on the wheel, driving closer and closer to the Resistance without care. Raising an eyebrow at this, she continued to stare at him.

“We do not usually go out of our way to avoid them… and well if they try to hurt us, God provides.” He said patting the rifle on his side.

Oh, okay then.

And in the end it was really nothing, she could see faint moving on top of those large walls, but no one came running through those gates and only a few warning shots were fired behind them. They probably could not make out who was driving the truck, so they were believed to be some random cultists on the move.

“At this distance, they can’t really tell who we are.”

 

And after that it was back to scenery watching.

 

It was utterly fucking boring to watch the abandoned houses or the few cultists milling around, so she mindlessly straightened from her slouch when one house came up and she saw something move behind the windows.

It was no cultist property, they did not lurk like that.

Something was wrong with the place, she felt that in her gut, so she reached back and grabbed Joseph’s arm, not taking her eyes off the dark window as they slowed down to a crawl.

“Rook? Is something the matter?”

She tapped on his arm quickly signing, never taking her eyes off the house even as the truck rolled to a stop. There was someone watching them from the barn’s top.

Rook opened the door, signing to the others in the truck to stay back, which Joseph said it out loud for the two guys. Peaches stayed down on the seat, her mismatched eyes following Rook, but staying still when Rook clacked at her.

Her bow out, arrow on the string, but she wasn’t aiming at anything yet.

They should leave, the figure made no move against them, but there was something threatening about the whole place, so Rook stood there trying to decide what to do.

This was clearly cultist territory, yet the whole area seemed avoided. She could see some old tire tracks, but no vehicle in sight. And there was dried blood on the grass, which wasn’t unusual by itself but the track lead right through the barn’s closed door. Which wouldn’t have been that unusual, but it didn’t seem like a place which was used as a slaughterhouse.

She stepped a few steps closer and there was a note stuck to the gate, she could see it, the keypad was off, and there was an electrical line running to the house on the side. The figure suddenly disappeared between one blink and the next and Rook took off towards the barn to check for any other exits.  There was only one half open window to what was probably a hay loft, but there was no disruption to indicate that anyone got out.

She walked back to the gate and pushed it a few times, but it didn’t give even an inch. It seemed like a solid steel door.

 

Joseph was halfway leaning out of the window and shouted to her. “Rook? What is it?”

She jogged back to him and started signing to him before she was even in touching distance.

“There is someone in that barn. They might be stuck, I want to check.” She said and she thought about the dried blood and didn’t say anything about that. She had a feeling that whoever was it, they were a threat on some level, but she didn’t feel comfortable just leaving them there with no obvious way out.

And she still had that alarm going off in her head, like a giant warning sign that something was not right about the situation.

It smelled like a trap to her.

Joseph looked at her face, searching for something, before he seemed to find it and he nodded.

“I’ll go with you.”

Rook shook her head, there was no way she would take him into a possible trap, this whole situation just stunk to high heavens and she wasn’t about to let him just waltz in without checking out the whole thing herself first.

“Stay here, watch the door. Do not get out of the car and be ready to move out.” She turned back when she decided something else. “Aim at the door.”

He seemed a bit bewildered, but he only raised one disbelieving eyebrow.

“If there is someone in trouble, we should try to help them.”

She scoffed at that and pushed him back a bit and he moved back easily, though she didn’t have any illusions that it was because of the power behind her little push.

“Rook?”

“We are helping them, but first I’ll check things out. And you… you are staying right here where it’s safe.”

He was ready to argue and she was already done with that, so she leaned over him and got the seatbelt on him. Before leaning over to the backseat and pointing at Griss’ eyes then her own then to Joseph.

“Yes, ma’am.”

After getting a sharp nod from him, she opened up the door for Peaches, happy that the cat wouldn’t be seen from the barn in the grass and waited until the cougar leapt out.

She tapped on James’ legs and asked him to look out especially for the barn door. She walked to the side, Peaches following her stealthily and ordered the feline to get to the back of the barn just to be sure, to hide out close.

With that done, she took one look at the boys, then went inside the house. There she didn’t find any switches that could be useful, but found a creepy animated fish on the wall. She found the entrance to the attic, but there was no obvious way up.

So she walked out and got herself up onto the scaffolding on the side and rolled into the attic. Nothing important or useful, just some comicbooks, a lot of junk and right where the line connected to the house there was a switch.

When she turned that on, the whole barn came to life and she dropped down from the window, bow at the ready.

She snatched the note, noting that the place must be one of those prepper stashes, but something seemed really sinister about it. Maybe the way it was worded?

She walked inside and the door clanked shut behind her with a resounding thud and there was the small sound of the lock engaging again, which… didn’t really bode well for her.

She turned back and tried to open the door somehow, even trying force it with her bodyweight, but it was locked and didn’t budge at all. Whacky music played through the speakers and she looked around, walking toward the strobe light, which illuminated something like a tunnel.

There was a strange smell wafting from the place and she looked around once again before she walked into the short tunnel, when she saw movement in the corner of her eye.

That was the reflection from a camera’s lens.

 

Question was… was it for security only?

She didn’t react visibly to the discovery of the security system, yet she would watch out for other cameras now that she knew that there was something to watch out for.

She went inside finally and a mannequin popped up in something that looked like a cemetery and cackling came from the speakers? It was a bit creepy, nothing really bad.

But… But there was something about the mannequin’s face which threw her off.

The expression maybe and there was something strange about the skin and those were cultist tattoos? Before she could take a closer look the mannequin slammed back to its coffin.

She walked along the path, noticing more and more cameras, and more and more strange things about those mannequins.

Namely that they looked too much like real humans. It was a bit in the uncanny valley, how most of them had the same terrified expression on their faces and she had to swallow when a terrible suspicion came to her.

There were signs all over the place, to stop, to turn back around, and she heard thudding and other noises from above her. Not that she had ever actually looked up, but she knew that someone was up in the loft.

She just had to get up there somehow.

And as she almost came face to face with one of the mannequins the smell hit her and she finally remembered what was it.

Formaldehyde.

The mannequins reeked of formaldehyde.

The girl’s corpse didn’t move back immediately and yeah, that was a human.

All of them were humans.

 

Maybe their skin was stretched out on a mannequin body, or something else, but they were all humans, and over the stench of formaldehyde… at this distance she could smell the rotting sweet scent of a decomposing dead body.

The taxidermy - if it was taxidermy - either wasn’t finished or it wasn’t clean enough.

She whistled twice, hoping the cacophony coming from the speakers didn’t stop her cat from hearing it.

 

She didn’t think it was some poor helpless soul upstairs anymore.

So she forged on ahead, actively searching for cameras and she started avoiding them, trying to keep in the shadows and she heard frustrated yelling eventually from above, before she reached the end of the haunted house and found some boxes and a rope.

She climbed them silently, stringing her bow and there was a crash, like someone swept off things from a table and then inarticulate yelling. So she actually managed to slip all the cameras maybe?

 

The loudspeakers were silenced and Rook stared out from her hiding spot, at the unshaven and dirty half naked guy swearing before a table with a TV on it, clicking and clicking, probably switching through video feeds for her. She knew at that moment that a compound bow like hers would not be of much use, and that this was going to need something more hands on, so she grabbed one of her throwing knives just in case.

 

It was a steady weight in her hand.

He spun around then started agitatedly walking up and down, taking looks at the still changing feeds, swearing louder and taking puffs from his cigarette. She crouched in the cover of some boxes, waiting for the right moment, and there it was, he started walking towards her, grabbing an axe from the side.

The axe was just as dirty as he was, blood rusted on its edge, and the handle was almost black in the place of his hand.

 

Rook pushed herself more behind the boxes, breathing in once, then twice before he got too close and she waited for him to turn…

And she crouched behind him, slicing through his tendons in one smooth move, before he could even scream and as he was going down he tried to fling his axe. She grabbed it by the handle, narrowly missing the edge and twisted it out of his hands, before she smashed it down on his arm, breaking the bone without much fanfare. He crawled along the ground and she walked alongside him, taking in the tube filled with gore, the bones scattered in spots and listened to his snivelling babble as he pleaded for his worthless pathetic life and tried to move himself with one hand.

She hefted the axe in her hand, contemplating just killing him with his own weapon, which he probably used to butcher all of those people downstairs.

 

She looked down at him, before she realized that there was someone else with her, who had more right to decide how he died.

There were several cultists down there who probably died terrified out of their minds and she had their Father right outside the door.

 

Though she felt somewhat undecided about it, because she didn’t actually want him to see his people turned into this mockery. Nobody should have to see that, but all those people?

They deserved a proper burial.

And this piece of shit who was trying to grab onto her boots, still begging for his life, deserved to die in agony.

 

So she raised her leg and kicked him in the head, knocking him out immediately, before stepping over him and finding the remote lock for the main door and turned on all the lights downstairs instead of just the mood lightning.

She looked around again, found some zip ties and some rope, so she tied his hands securely, then found some clothing from his victims and she teared some up and stuffed his mouth full in a makeshift gag, so he wouldn’t be able to bite her or something if he woke up while she was carrying him out. She also walked to the open window and clacked her tongue twice for Peaches. Hopefully she would be waiting for her when she got to the door.

 

She looked down at his body and she gave a sigh - he was going to stain her jumper a lot, but she didn’t have much choice… though she could just drop him from the window and ‘hope’ he wouldn’t ‘accidentally” break his neck in the fall…

 

Nah. She didn’t get to be his judge, but she would be gladly his executioner though.

 

She heaved him up, over her shoulder and wobbled in her place for a second, because damn, he was heavier than she thought at a first glance.

Rook dropped down to the haunted house, not caring much when she accidentally bumped his head into some surfaces.

~~~ 

 

She walked out into the sunlight noting the tense forms of Joseph still behind the wheel, and the second she was out the door, he was out of the car running towards her, with Driss following close behind, assault rifles in their hands, and she felt herself buckle up under the weight.

Her knees hit the dirt and Joseph was there taking the trussed up murderer from her and she released a heavy sigh, closing her eyes for a bit, as Joseph patted her down for any injury.

She probably got some blood on her jumper, that would explain why was he so frantic.

“Rook, are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you bleeding?”

“Not my blood. Everyone is dead inside. He killed them.”

She had seen a lot of bad stuff over the years, but this.. This kind of took the cake or at least would be in her top 5 experiences which she didn’t want to remember in detail.

She took a deep breath, then looked up right into Joseph’s concerned eyes.

“I need to show you something. Tell D-R-I-S-S that if he wakes up, just shoot him. Don’t let him get away.”

Joseph nodded before reaching out and pulling her up to stand.

“Driss, guard him and if he moves shoot him.”

Driss nodded and took a few steps back from the still unconscious murderer and aimed at him, while Peaches slinked out of the grass and plopped down next to him.

“Yes, Father.”

Joseph looked back to the truck and shouted to James to be on alert for any movement on the road.

 

Holding his hand, Rook led him into the barn.

“This is going to be bad, isn’t it?”

She really could not deny that.

“It’s bad. Really bad.”

 

And she should have warned him more or something, because as soon as he saw the first body he froze up.

Rook turned back to him, seeing the horror in his eyes and she had to do something. This wasn’t right. She should not have brought him inside, she should have asked him to stay outside.

 

“Alim. His name was Alim. He disappeared three months ago… we thought he rethought his decision to join us and slipped away when he was on patrol.”

Rook squeezed his hand, and Joseph buried his face in his other hand. His voice got hoarse when he continued.

“He was gay, his family almost beat him to death when they found out and he came to us in Rome… He was one of the kindest persons I’ve ever known.”

He choked up and Rook raised a hand to his neck and pushed his head into her neck, while hugging him carefully, wary about overstepping his boundaries.

Joseph just grabbed her and she could feel wetness on her skin and tried to make some soothing noises while patting his back.

 

“There are more of them in here, aren't there?” he asked, his words partially muffled in her neck, and Rook just nodded.

“We need to get them buried.”

She nodded again.

“And after that I’m going to make him suffer.”

She shook her head at that and Joseph snapped his head up, his eyes burning.

“What?”

She shook her head again, then signed at him.

“I’ll make him suffer.”

“He killed people of my flock, tortured them, and turned them into these… dolls, then displayed them like cheap entertainment… I want him to suffer everything he did to them.”

Rook just shook her head again, signing no again and again.

“He is going to die in agony. But I will do it, not you. Your hands will stay clean of his blood.”

“I have every right to kill him!” He shouted agitated, and Rook felt so tired. She should have just burned the whole place down… it wouldn’t have been fair to the victims, to burn with the place where they had died, but they were dead, so they didn’t have many opinions about things. That way she could have avoided causing pain to the living though.

“I know that. But you are the Father. Let me be your hands.” She signed before grabbing his hands and raising them to her lips. He took a sharp breath, staring down at her, fingers flexing over and over again, his face thunderous before he went back to his usual tranquility.

Finally he nodded and they were back to walking along the maze, looking for weak spots where they could get them down.

They got to the boxes at the end and Rook quickly scrambled up, stone faced Joseph behind her and she remembered the box of tapes on the table. He stood under the window, completely still, taking in the blood, the bones, the chemicals and he clenched his hands. Rook let him deal with his thoughts and walked up to the table, hoping to find a release for the automations. There had to be something, she could use.

Joseph walked around, his steps measured, his breathing laboured.

She finally found a switch which according to the security feed going on, released one of the bodies. So she just flipped all the switches on that board, watching the video feed for any change.

 

She occasionally glanced back at Joseph who wandered over to the boxes and opened one up.

“This is formaldehyde.” He said and she turned back to him to see what he was talking about. He swirled a bottle and continues. “It is flammable. Very much so.”

She looked at him and he stared back.

She nodded, they could easily burn down the whole place, though with the barn being made mostly of wood… wel they didn’t actually need much to start a fire.

“We should take them out first.”

Joseph agreed with that, though he said nothing just started going back down to the maze, Rook following him.

She was glad he didn’t notice the tapes.

 

She had a rather bad feeling about what they were about.

At least she could protect him from seeing them, if she was right.

 

He grabbed the first body they had found, then flung the second over his other shoulder. She grabbed the third and they walked out of the barn and gently placed them down on the ground, then went back for all others.

Driss stood there, staring at them in mute horror, his eyes growing wider and wider with every body they were bringing out.

Several of them were cultists, about them Joseph told small stories who they were and how did they came to join his flock. Rook listened and prayed to a God she didn’t even really believe in that all these people found happiness in whatever afterlife they were in.

Nobody deserved to die like that.

 

Rook went to the house and grabbed a few shovels to start digging a grave. She found some big blue canisters which she unscrew and found them to be full of oil. She jogged out and dropped the shovels, before going back and grabbing one of them. Joseph and Driss already grabbed shovels  and started to dig. James came closer with the truck on the lookout.

With the three of them they managed to dig a relatively deep ditch in a relatively short time, but it still took almost an hour.

Driss was on the outskirts, collecting wood, before he ambled back and started making a cross. That was probably going to be their headstone.

She threw the shovel out of the hole, climbed out of it then went to one of the first bodies and carried her to the makeshift grave they made. Joseph was in the hole, so she gave the body to him which he set on the ground gently.

They repeated this procedure with every body, Joseph murmuring prayers, Rook silently handing them off. When the last one was in the ground, she walked to the canister and showed it to Joseph.

“You want to burn them?”

“Yes. They would not decompose like this and I’m not sure what their bodies would do to the soil and the water if we just left them here like this. Or if some animal dug them up.”

Joseph looked to be deep in thought before he nodded.

“You are right… Does anyone have a lighter?”

They shook their heads while Rook nodded and jogged back to the truck to get the lighter she had in one of her sidepockets. She pressed it into Joseph’s hand, while grabbing the canister again and pouring it into the grave, all over the bodies as much as she could without having to climb back in.

She finished and stood back and Joseph got a piece of wood from Driss and lit it up, before throwing the flaming branch down into a puddle, which caught on fire immediately.

“Rest in peace, my children. May God watch over you all.”

 

Rook went back to the barn and climbed to the loft, she grabbed one of the tapes and put it into the player, then pressed the play button.

 

It contained exactly what she had thought and it was simultaneously worse than what she could have imagined. It was a testament to the pointless cruelty humans could inflict on others and it was one of the most disgusting things she had ever seen.

She watched the beginning then fast forwarded through it all and she eventually had to stop watching because her stomach rebelled and she had to grab on the edge of the desk and turn away, not knowing whether her eyes felt like hell because she was on the edge of crying because she was so completely done or because of the vomiting.

 

Her eyes fell on the axe she had dropped previously, then she staggered over to it. Rook then proceeded to smash the TV in, then she chopped up the player and the tapes too, not stopping until it was an unrecognizable and unusable mess. She got some of the chemicals and started pouring it over everything she found, the tables, the bed, the tapes and everything else while keeping her jumper on her nose.

Nothing would remain of his deeds.

She would make sure of that.

 

She found a steel rod near the entrance which she took, already knowing how to use it. Joseph saw her coming towards them, dirty and sweaty, eyes red and dragging a four feet long pipe with her, her eyes zeroing on the still unconscious murderer.

He went to intercept her, but she was quicker and already skewered the guy’s shoulder, pinning him to the ground.

She was leaning on the rod, calm as a cucumber and boring it into him as he came to with a gasp torn out of his throat.

“Please, please, don’t hurt me, please I didn’t do anything wrong! Please stop!”

They could see Rook grind the rod in deeper and his begging kicked up in both volume and speed.

“Lying is a sin, you know? I’ve seen your little home videos...“ she signed choppy and he stared at her like she was the devil himself, some understanding in his eyes. “I know what you have been doing. You are going to die.”

She smiled down at him, twisting the rod further causing him to scream out and Joseph was at her side, grabbing her by her waist and she went immediately limp in his hands.

“Rook? What happened?”

“He lured people into the haunted house with promises of a prize, then he hunted them down.  They were still alive when he started to turn them into those.” She signed quickly at Joseph. “He made videos of the whole thing. He is no innocent who got stuck in the barn without a way out.”

Driss had a feet on the guy’s chest, his rifle pointed at him point blank, his face devoid of any of his usual warmth, except when he sneaked glances at her and Joseph.

She stared straight ahead, before she started signing again.

“I say we burn him alive Or we could shoot him and let him bleed out?”

She shook her head, no that wouldn’t work. They could never make him suffer enough, unless they spent days torturing him and he wasn’t worth that much.

He was not worth anything.

 

His death wouldn’t make all those people come back.

They were dead, they cared nothing about anymore. The best thing they could do… the only thing they could do… was making sure that he was dead.

“It’s your choice.” She signed finally to Joseph, staring at the guy with cold eyes.

She could still feel the taste of vomit in her mouth and the salt on her skin was starting to pinch just a little bit. The guy was watching her, his eyes never leaving her face, almost leering at her and she suddenly felt naked and she wanted to leave immediately.

She wanted him to stop looking at her, because he didn’t deserve to see that he was unnerving her in any way.

 

It would only make him happier to see that, so she did the exact opposite letting herself go utterly blank. She was a steel wall and he was lesser than nothing.

She took a deep breath, felt the tension bleed out of her body and looked him straight in the eyes knowing that he won’t be alive at the end of the day and she will be.

He was a dead man crawling already.

 

She looked back at the cult leader at her side whose people were victims of this asshole.

“What do you want to do with him?” She asked Joseph and he looked at the man with a troubled frown, before he walked to his side and crouched down searching his eyes for something.

The guy started pleading immediately.

“I didn’t do anything! I just got lost, went into the barn to ask for help and got stuck… I didn’t even realize those dolls were real people! Please help me, she is crazy, she almost killed me, please help me, please don’t let her hurt me again, Father!”

Rook clenched her fist, the only sign of her anger, her knuckles turning white from the pressure.

Joseph blinked twice, face utterly serene, watching the man and that stopped his tirade.

He leaned over him and grabbed his arm, not so incidentally the one which she broke earlier, and looked at it from a closer angle.

“She smashed an axe into it, she is a complete nutjob!” He screamed at that and Joseph shushed him, before he placed the hand back onto the ground.

“My dear Rook, come here, please.”

She strode up to them, standing beside Joseph, completely relaxed despite the situation, her throwing knife hidden in her sleeve ready for use if it came down to that.

If Joseph believe his lies over what she said… well she would be a bit disappointed, but she would finish the job herself.

“Did you break his arm?”

She nodded and smiled at the suddenly silent guy still stuck like a bug in a collection.

“Yes, I did. He was swinging an axe at me, though he seemed to forget that.”

“I see.”

Joseph sighed, before he stood up and reached out a hand to Rook. She raised an eyebrow at him and he looked at her over his sunglasses, before wiggling his fingers a little.

“The knife in your sleeve, please hand it to me.”

She could see the sicko start to smile and she resisted the urge to let the smile show through her calm, because if he thought that was the only knife on her person… well he was an idiot then.

She could also easily break his neck, so she didn’t exactly need a weapon to be dangerous. People would never stop underestimating her it seemed.

 

She flipped it and held it out to Joseph with the handle towards him and Joseph grabbed it, before immediately driving it through the man’s left hand.

Blood squirted out, guy started screaming again and Joseph looked rather unimpressed.

“I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.” He said and held his hand out to Rook again.

She handed him another knife from her boots, which went right through his other hand.

“Did you know that excessive use of formaldehyde causes skin sensitivity and a rather severe allergic reaction?” Another knife from her other boot, that went into a thigh. “Like the rashes on your hands.” Last knife went into his other thigh.

“You have tortured and killed people from my flock. You have tried to kill Rook here. You have lied to our faces… You have been judged and found wanting.” And he had a combat knife in his hand taken from the holster on his back and drove it through the guy’s throat. “May God have mercy on your soul, for you will find none here.”

Joseph stood up from his crouch, looking at Rook, taking her face into his hands and rubbing under her red eyes.

“I will get you a new set, dear Rook.”

She shrugged, she could easily get new ones herself. Joseph touched his forehead to hers.

“Thank you, Rook.” She shrugged again, her ears feeling a bit warm and he let her go.

 

Joseph stayed back and watched the guy slowly bleed out, Rook walked toward Driss who stood there with his rifle still pointed at the guy though there was not much chance that he would suddenly sprung up or run. She knew she was blushing very hard once again, but she could not do anything about it, she would have to get used to the fact that she liked Joseph’s tactile nature.

 

Actually she had no reason to complain, though it would be nice if not everyone in her vicinity would know that fact from the tomato imitation she usually did.

Driss certainly knew it if his pointed eyebrow wiggling meant anything.

 

She showed him a rather rude gesture and stole a piece of wood from the small pile next to him.

 

She had a barn she could finally burn down.

~~~

 

After the emotionally draining few hours they had, they all piled back to the truck, cult radio on, Joseph driving like a madman, dressed in a plaid shirt from her bag - as they had to take off and burn the clothes that have been in contact with the preserved bodies - Driss sitting next to the sleeping Peaches, James manning the turret and Rook napping in the passenger's seat with her face smushed up against the window.

 

She was having a dream that was quickly devolving into a nightmare, when she woke up because of... something.

She didn’t actually know what woke her up, but the air in the truck was very tense and it seemed very different from when she had fallen asleep.

 

She rubbed her eyes, tried to discreetly check for drool. Though Joseph noticed the movement immediately if the darting glance he sent towards her was any indication.

“What is the matter?” She asked.

“We have someone following us.” He answered tersely checking the rearview mirror.

“They have been tailing us for the last thirty minutes.” Said James leaning down from his spot.

She sat up properly and turned back to look over her seat.

“Definitely not one of ours…” Driss noted, offering her an apple piece.

“Why are they not attacking us then?” She popped the fruit into her mouth and chewed it.

“Hell, if I know.” Driss said and carved out another slice.

“Language, my child.”

“Sorry, Father!”

Joseph tapped against the wheel, periodically checking on the black cruiser. Rook adjusted the quiver on her so she could draw an arrow more easily and placed the bow back into her lap and reached for the wrench in her bag.

She needed to adjust the draw weight, because she was an idiot who didn’t get her rifle in working order and she would need every pound she could squeeze out of the bow to be useful if it came down to a shootout.

 

She had the bolts back in order when she heard a strange wub-wub sound. It seemed familiar somehow and she looked around but saw nothing on the road which could have made it.

“What is it, Rook?”

She answered Joseph with her head still swivelling around trying to figure out the direction it was coming from.

“Strange noise.”

James suddenly banged on the top of the truck and shouted down: “Helicopter coming from the left!”

And that must have been what the car behind them was waiting for, because several people leaned out from the windows and started shooting at them, Joseph swerving to the side to avoid some of the bullets.

 

Rook clung to the dashboard, trying to roll down her window as fast as she could and James started shooting at the helicopter when it let out a hail of bullets at them.

Joseph floored the truck, slaloming left and right, but that didn’t stop Driss from crying out and losing his grip on his rifle as he got shot in his shoulder the moment he leant out the window. It was incredibly lucky that it was only his shoulder and Rook reached back and dragged him back to the truck, while he tried to stop the blood flow. Rook took one look at him, but she was acutely aware that James was out there a prime target for the gunners from the car and if he got shot by them they all would be dead because of the helicopter, so she pressed her lips together, grabbed her bow and leant out the window, knowing that she was a tiny bit safer because the car was closer to the other side at the moment.

She grabbed the ledge, the bow thrown across her shoulder and sat on the window before standing somewhat awkwardly on her seat, ignoring Joseph’s alarmed voice. Taking out an arrow, she put it on the string and yeah, she couldn’t see shit, so she nudged whatever she could reach of Joseph’s body with her boot hoping he understood what she wanted.

 

A snarl from below and Joseph swerved to the side and she might have fallen out but there was a hand gripping the leg she kicked Joseph with before another weight settled on her other leg.

 

She pulled the bow to its full capacity, calculating velocity and angles and suddenly she was in full view of the gunners and she shot one arrow. It got the shooter in the passenger seat in his throat, ripping through skin and tissue like a hot knife through butter and even struck the man behind him, though it was a somewhat glancing blow against his shoulder.

It still managed to unbalance him enough especially when the blood from his fellow splashed on him, obscuring his vision, so it was incredibly unfortunate for him that he was half out the window when the driver took a somewhat sharp turn.

Two gone, two left.

 

The other driver seemed to learn from that and tried to avoid being in sight of the left side of their truck, so Rook slid back to her seat. It was both Joseph’s and Driss’ hands that weighed her down enough and she nodded at them, before she looked back around.

She needed to get to the other window and try to shoot out the driver from there.

She looked back at Driss, the way he was sweating and how he bled through the rudimentary bandage on his shoulders. He was alarmingly pale from the blood loss.

She turned to Joseph and tapped on his arm that was closest to her.

“I need to use your window, can you sit on my feet while driving?”

He sharply nodded and she didn’t waste a second, just climbed over his lap, trying not to knee anywhere that would hurt him, while trying not to cover his view and to be as fast as she could. It was an awkward thing to do, but she eventually managed. Mostly.

 

She leaned out the open window, sitting on it, her legs grabbed and squeezed between Joseph’s thighs to stabilise her somewhat. She took out another arrow, took a deep breath and held it in, as Joseph took a sharp turn and he was completely visible behind the windshield and she let loose the arrow… shattering the glass and nailing him right in the middle of his forehead.

“Yeah! Fuckin’A shot ma’am!” Screamed James as he let loose another barrage at the smoking helicopter, that was quickly losing altitude and with the driver dead the car following them quickly drove into a ditch.

She felt some elation for surviving which didn’t remain her strongest emotion for a long time when she noticed that the burning copter was falling their way.

Rook thumped on the grate across the turret station, and she pointed at the helicopter coming their way when James looked at her through his happy shouts.

“Holy shit… Father!”

She felt his thighs squeeze her ankles like vice, then she felt her ribs hit the truck’s frame when he took a sharp left turn and started driving to the side, while the helicopter started spinning while continuing to fall in the direction of the road.

 

They came to a stop in the middle of the field, watching as the helicopter slam into the road with a screech, then the burning reached the fuel tank and the whole thing had blown up in a spectacularly fiery explosion.

Rook heaved a breath, put the bow on the top of the truck and tried to figure out how could she wiggle back into the truck or out of it.

James jumped down from the gunnery seat and got out the medical kit which had been bound up next to him.

“Anyone shot?”

Rook pointed at Driss through the door who was listing to the side, while Joseph called out his name too with an urgency clear in his voice and James threw open the door before swearing slightly at the sight.

“At least it’s not your big head, you idiot, stop squirming so much!”

“You love my big head.” Came the joking and choked answer between several hisses.

 

Well, that sounded like he was not in mortal danger and she left out a relieved sigh, before wriggling back to the car.

Getting her feet out from under Joseph, his hands on her hips trying to help her and she slid seamlessly into his lap with her fingers clutching at his shoulders.

 

But at least they could see the bridge leading to Holland Valley and there were already a few white trucks coming towards them.

Still, it was a long fucking day.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter and sorry once again for the delay! :)
> 
> Thank you for every comment, they really made my day! And also thank you for every kudo and every hit, you guys still seriously rock.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl, cultists and cult leader arrive to precious baby bro's place AKA Domesticity With Your Local Priest While Trying To Get Some Answers, Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. Life got in the way. I think I've might have managed to finally work out some things, but I can't say for sure yet. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> And I'm sorry for the delay.  
> I have over 100k written of this, I'm finishing chapter 10 which was originally supposed to be the last chapter and it's not. I'll update the chapter count. Eventually.
> 
> As usual I'm not a native speaker and this was only read through once by yours truly.

### CHAPTER 6

_In which Rook thinks John is a dick and John thinks Rook is a bitch (they are both right)_

 

By the time the trucks had reached them and the cultists piled out from some of them, Joseph was leaning against the driver’s side and Rook was sitting cross legged on the hood of the truck.

James was standing to the side, rifle pointed to the ground but still in his hands, and Driss was half lying down and half sitting on the seat next to the opened door. Peaches was lying down on the ground sunbathing and Rook already petted the shit out of her the moment they got out of the truck because her kitty was fucking amazing about the whole shootout, not one loud yowl or anything out of her during the whole time.

 

Their truck was a bit hole-y, though nothing smoked, but it was probably not safe enough to travel further.

Which was why they had decided to wait for the cultist trucks instead of meeting them halfway. They hopefully had a hook on them, so they could get their vehicle towed away.

 

“Father! Are you alright?”

“Are you okay?”

“That was awesome!”

And more things were shouted at them, but they kinda got lost in the cacophony and Rook looked around as Joseph walked into their waiting arms to reassure them that everything was okay. It was eerily similar to the time the copter crashed back at the compound.

“There is nothing wrong, my children, God was watching over us.”

Rook looked him over and noted, that yes he filled out her shirt and yeah, he was still hot, even in that ugly shade of plaid. It was a bit strange to see him in something else other than those white shirts or... half naked actually, but there was a tiny part of her that really liked that he was wearing one of her shirts.

And it had been already several weeks since this whole thing started and she should admit it - at least to herself; that priest or no priest, unfortunate nicknames or no, she found Joseph hot as fire. Like seriously, that man could bat his eyelashes in her direction once and she was truly honestly completely fucked for a good while after that.

Which might be a slight problem, but it was a problem for future Rook and she smiled back when Joseph looked at her from the gaggle of his flock.

 

She held some hope that her smile wasn’t as besotted as she thought it was or that at least he wouldn’t notice it. Or maybe he would just chalk it up to the fact that they had survived the whole chase relatively unharmed?

Living was a nice enough feeling in her opinion. The adrenaline rush could explain at least some of the elation she showed… right?

 

A few words from him and some cultists went back to one of the trucks and got out a hook, which they had fastened to the back of theirs, then to the front of the one she was still sitting on.

They waved at her and she grinned back at them, still feeling a bit high from the... adrenaline.

 

Rook clicked her tongue and Peaches popped up on the side of the truck, before jumping on it, making the cultists freak out a little. Rook petted her head when she sprawled across her lap, staring down at the slightly terrified cultists from her perch with a haughty air before she licked her chops, displaying her sharp teeth.

Rook rolled her eyes heavenward.

Her cat was a fucking drama queen.

 

Soon though Driss was packed up on a truck and the rest of them were too and they were rolling around the road to the Seed Ranch.

Or that’s what she heard they call it.

It sounded kind of pretentious to be honest.

But, from what she had gathered so far, the Seeds legally owned a large amount of the lands of Hope County, so having a ranch wouldn’t be outside of the realm of possibilities.

 

Added to that… Holland Valley was kind of ideal for agricultural usage, much more than most areas in the Henbane River region.

The wide fields, all those plains, the gentle hills?

Fucking A grade gardening space.

If they rented it out, it would go for premium price.

Lots of small chalets and lakes. Which meant that in a rainier season, the fields could be flooded and that was one of the best natural fertilisers you could ask for.

Most of the plants she could see were the exact plants that thrived on good soil and clear water. Ideal farmlands.

Ideal place to keep farm animals.

The whole system could be pretty self sustaining actually if given a chance.

Especially if the outdated irrigation system could be… and well, that was when she was interrupted by a throat clearing very loudly and from quite close.

She was stuck in the backseat of the car Joseph also was in, but he got the passenger seat for himself, while Rook shared the backseat with two cultists. It was a very tight fit and she was tempted to ask them to just let her ride anywhere else, like on the back of the truck with Peaches, that would have been infinitely more preferable.

“Who are you supposed to be?”

Asked the cultist from her left and he was the one who tried to get her attention previously.

She still hadn’t quite decided whether to try to use an existing sign or not so she just settled for spelling it out instead.

Not that the guy understood, he just raised an eyebrow and Rook sighed before hooking a finger into the collar of her shirt and brought it down to show the scars.

It was easier to do that for some reason now. Cultists seemed okay about disabilities from what she had seen so far. Maybe not all of them could sign, read Braille or anything else, but they tried to work out something with those who needed any of those and that was nice in her opinion.

There was no derision in his eyes, no pity. He just nodded and that was it.

“Rook. Her name is Rook.” Came the answer to the question from Joseph, who was leaning back in his seat and so far she thought he was either praying or sleeping the whole time since they got into the truck.

“Rook? Like one of those birds?”

“Or the chess piece?” Came from the other cultist and she found herself in the sudden focus of both of them.

She shrugged, it was actually neither, because the original nickname came from her last name, maybe the second guy knew ASL?

So she tried to sign it, but then he looked at her not understanding either, so she mimed writing and started digging through her bag for those post it notes. She remembered putting them away and she had a stubby pencil too, she was sure.

After digging through the somewhat bottomless pack, she managed to find both eventually.

“LAST NAME” She wrote down and handed it over to the guy on the left as he was the one who asked first.

“So, Rook is your last name?”

She wiggled her fingers for the note back and corrected it. Her pencil scored a line through the words when they went into a pothole, but it was still readable.

“NICK CAME FROM LAST NAME”

“As good reason as any for a name, I guess…” He laughed a bit. “So are you coming to get baptized?”

She wasn’t quite ready for that actually and she wondered how to tell that, when Joseph spoke up once again.

“Rook is walking her Path.”

Wait what?

She snapped her head up and stared at the back of Joseph’s head. She was walking her Path? That sounded like it was capitalized, and the only Path - with a capital P -  she heard about was the one in Faith’s region and it was supposedly an actual path… or something.

That didn’t quite make sense, even if she knew that Joseph wanted her to eventually join him and his family, the Path… what did she read about it? She couldn’t remember, was it affirmation that you were ready to join or was it something after baptization?

Nevertheless, whatever was going on, the cultists seemed satisfied with that and soon enough she was brought into a chat about squash of all things. Then various foods and okay the Holland Valley was really the pantry of the county.

~~~

 

They eventually rolled onto a long drive and there were several houses along the way, surrounded by crop fields. There were cultists working them, some shading their eyes to try to see who was coming up the driveway, some waved at them before they went back to their work.

 

They stopped before an imposing building and she felt her eyes widen at the sight.

 

That… that was no ranch house.

 

Joseph opened his door and stepped out, and Zachariah and Barry - the two cultists with whom she sat for the last two hours like some tuna in a can - got out too, their light bickering dying down.

There was a flurry of activity coming from the house and a familiar man striding out with his coat billowing out dramatically.

“Brother!”

Shoulders clapped, foreheads touched.

Rook stood to the side awkwardly, questioning what the hell she was doing here, while the Seeds were finishing their greetings.

“I was starting to get worried, you are not late usually.”

Joseph stepped back and smiled at John.

“We had to take a small detour on the way.”

A blinding white grin from the younger brother and yeah that was a whole lot of brother worship in his eyes.

“Gus radioed in about your little fight with those sinners…”

They were attracting attention, or she should probably say that Joseph was attracting attention as his flock started to come out to greet him and the glances thrown at her seemed to be a side effect of that and because she was an unknown face.

And not wearing her trusty cultist jumper.

 

So she slipped away from the commotion and went to check on Driss, James and Peaches. She would probably not be missed, but she would rather be away from the crowd when her kitty is back on the ground. She wasn’t sure someone wouldn’t get trigger happy when they realized they had a full grown cougar in their midst.

 

Driss was climbing out of the back of the truck almost taking a nosedive if James didn't catch him just in time. Rook hurried up and slipped to his other side, catching his waist, not daring to move his bandaged shoulder but still wanting to help.

Peaches jumped out of the car too and rubbed against her legs with a purr.

“Hi sweethearts, do you come here often?” Came the weak voice from between them and Rook rolled her eyes and James sighed like it pained him to even inhabit the same existence as him.

“I see that I’m not appreciated… it hurts me. It hurts me deep in my soul… hold me guys…”

Rook decided that if he started fake crying or something like that, she would drop him. From James’ face she would say that he was contemplating similar ideas.

He only lost some blood and got shot by one measly bullet, he could probably drag himself to the medical building, right?

“You are going to start hurting real soon, if you don’t shut up.”

So yeah, James had similar thoughts, but Driss’ grin just grew at that.

“I’m shocked and offended, you would hurt the mate of your soul, the one shining light of your life, the cherry on your sundae?”

Rook had to duck her head so that her smile could not be seen at the pained expression James was making and from the side glance Driss threw at her she wasn’t successful at all in that.

“If it would make you stop dragging your feet.”

“Look at that, our sweet Rook! Can you see how he speaks to me?! No respect, no respect at all. And I gave him my best years!”

Rook patted his back gently while they took one slow step after the other, thankfully out of the sight of the crowd behind them and with Peaches following closely.

 

There was a man sitting on a small bench, dressed in scrubs stained with some blood.

When he saw that they were coming towards them, he stood up and hurried to their side.

“What happened?”

“Gunshot by one of the sinners.” Said James, but the doc was already unravelling the bandage.

“Hey doc, if you wanted to undress me you should have just asked…” Driss started before he yelped when the doctor touched his skin.

“Hm. Seemed to have gone through, but I’ll have to check for fragments. Come in, I have some free time until Jay wakes up.”

So Rook and James once again bore the weight of the slightly uncooperative cultist and went inside the building, and Peaches went to lie down in the shade of the bench after she ordered the cougar to wait.

“What happened to Jay?” He asked his voice a slightly hoarse.

The doc pointed back at a walled off area with a finger while continuing to fill a tray with equipment. “Got on the wrong end of a cultivator. He probably won’t lose his legs, but it’s up to God at this point.”

 

After that she walked out of the medical building leaving James to hover over Driss. She was not needed in there anymore, though she wasn’t sure where should she go and what should she do.

Maybe getting far away from Joseph wasn’t such a good idea, but what was done was done.

 

She looked at the medical building then to the nearby buildings. They were not that high, she could climb them easily, even Peaches could scale them without problem.

So that’s what she did, she got up on a roof, called her cougar, then she jumped to the next one and got higher.

She stood up there, knowing that the sniper on the top of the mansion probably had her in their sights, but she wasn’t about to go back down to ground level.

She needed the vantage point.

 

Digging out her map she grabbed the stubby pencil from her shirt’s front pocket where she stashed it in the car.  

Seed Ranch, Seed Ranch…

They went through that road, there was the Haunted House, and there was the bridge. After that they got on one of the main roads quite soon and didn’t deviate too much… so the Ranch should be somewhere in that spot on the map.

That meant that there was Fall’s End somewhere close and several other landmarks. Including that giant Hollywood like YES sign, which wasn’t on her map, so it might have been a newer addition.

It looked… interesting.

Almost as bad as the giant statue in Henbane, but why the hell would you want to have a giant sign like that?

She squinted at the sign in the distance her head cocking to the side.

Maybe it had some further meaning?

Well, that might be the situation, but it was still tacky as hell.

She rolled her eyes, before stuffing away the map in her bag once again and sitting down cross legged.

 

Times like this, when she realized that she didn’t actually have any idea what to do felt like hell.

She tapped on her knees, trying to figure out something. Anything to be honest.

There was a thump on the side of the building she was on and she crawled to the edge to check it out.

Thankfully it was just Joseph, staring up at her inquisitively.

“Up on a roof again, Rook?”

Only a faint flush betrayed her on the top of her ears and okay, she wasn’t that embarrassed about last time. Maybe if he handled it differently or if he genuinely teased her about it she would have been, but he just said it matter of factly. There was no recrimination in his tone or anything, so it didn’t raise her hackles at all.

“I like being taller than everyone else-.” she signed laying on her stomach on the edge of the roof, grinning down at him.

He hummed and got ready to say something when a voice interrupted him.

“Brother? Where did you go?”

She turned her head to the side, away from the Father and looked at the man walking up to them, seeing how he only had eyes for Joseph. Or mostly had eyes for him, because in the next second he looked at her, eyes flicking from her messed up hair to her dirty and sweaty face and she could see the disgust in his eyes before it was carefully masked.

 

Well, well what did they have there?

She felt her grin grow larger, showing off her teeth in something more mocking and threatening than her previous teasing grin to Joseph. So pretty boy didn’t approve of her appearance?

She gave zero fucks about his opinion.

They were off to a good start already.

 

“And who is this supposed to be?” He asked pointing at her with his thumb and Rook suddenly felt a weight on her back, then something warm dropped down onto her which was her furbaby deciding that she was a prime sprawling spot.

Rook reached back and scratched her chin, making her purr, and Joseph reached up to tap on the cougar’s nose making her go cross eyed.

She wondered whether he realized or cared that he was effectively playing with fire. While Peaches obeyed more orders than not, she was still a cougar.

“Rook.” Then like an afterthought as he petted the cougar on her head, the little unfaithful feline purring on her and pressing her face into his hands and crushing her further into the roof, he added. “And Peaches.”

Rook sneaked a glance at John and saw him a bit pale.

 

Good, at least one of them seemed to have some survival instincts at least.

She tapped on Joseph’s arm, he blinked up at her and she told him to get some distance. If he had less control of his face he would have pouted, but she didn’t care that she was interrupting his fun, she needed the cat off her back, right about now.

Two sharp clacks and a pointed finger at a spot next to Joseph, she waited until Peaches stood up and jumped down with a huff. She stood up too, put a hand against her eyes to see from the bright sun, got blinded a bit before that and swung down the side of the building, landing somehow gracefully.

John stood before her and she made a bow at him, which was acknowledged by the barely perceptible derisive downward curl of his mouth.

“Brother, why does the Deputy who tried to arrest you have free reign?”

Joseph hummed and walked up to John, clasped his shoulder.

“Rook wants to know about our Project and our way of life, so I brought her here to you, John.”

John seemed to have toned down his dislike, and looked at her critically. “Oh, does she?”

She didn’t quite like the edge of his tone and her smile became even more fixed.

She also noted that something passed behind Joseph’s eyes at it too.

“I want you two to work well together… Rook needs to make the choice herself about joining us. I ask that you help her reach that point, brother.”

Well, she didn’t quite like that, also was it just her, or was he actually implying that he was leaving her in the hands of John?

Big blue eyes stared up into his eyes and there was really no other answer John could give, but…

“Yes, brother.”

Well that escalated quickly, Rook thought and tried to ignore the dread that was pooling in her stomach.

~~~

 

And just as she thought, she was quickly separated from Joseph by John and sent to the main house to wash and to change into ‘something less of an eyesore’.

Which first of all, rude.

Her borrowed plaid shirts were obviously the height of fashion and no man wearing a plane-dotted coat should have any right to say anything.

 

Even if his clothes looked like they cost more money than she had ever spent on her entire wardrobe.

Though she thought about those nice pumps she saw once upon a time in a shop, which she was still mourning that she didn’t buy. Those heels were one of the most beautiful shoes she had ever seen, but her practicality reared its ugly head and she didn’t buy them in the end.

 

They were really expensive.

She should have bought them anyway.

 

So she rolled her eyes and brought her smelly self to the bathroom attached to the room where she was dumped as Joseph was herded away by his little brother an indulgent smile on his face.

She raised one of her arms and took a deep whiff and good God! She gagged and had to admit, that okay, he was completely right, she positively reeked.

She just dumped her bag into the bathroom, shucked off the clothes and wondered whether she should just burn them, because the smell of her day might not be possible to get completely out. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep the clothes that she spent hours in a barn full of human dolls, making a grave for them before burning said barn down.

It smelled like a really bad mix of sweat, formaldehyde, smoke, and burnt skin and hair.

Not the most alluring combination.

 

She crouched down before the bathroom cabinet and started going through it until she found some plastic bags for the small trashcan next to the toilet. With that, she got one and started to get off her clothes right into it, trying not to drop anything on the floor.

When she was finally naked she closed the bag and dropped it next to the door, so that she would not forget about it when she was finished.

 

Giant shower, with a steady pressure and scalding hot water, she was ready to join the cult if it meant she got to use it a few more times.

Imagine the conversation, why did you join the cult?

They had nice showers.

 

She shook her head, got shampoo into her eye, would have sworn a bit but she couldn’t, almost slipped on the wet shower tray and managed to head-butt the small shelf which contained the showering products.

So she decided to finish quickly before a shower would finish what the Haunted House guy couldn’t.

 

At least now she was clean and smelled faintly of lavender and rosemary. It was soothing. She would have liked to try a hot bath with the same scents, maybe it would make her feel less anxious about… everything.

 

She got her replacement jeans out from her bag and then some underwear and she hesitated when she found a large shirt and a plaid shirt. Neither were actually pretty to look at or even her size, but her entire wardrobe at the moment was cobbled together from various borrowed clothing, so if John Seed didn’t like her outfit… well that was his problem, she was an adult woman and until he didn’t buy her things he had no say in anything related to that.

She nodded to herself and just to be a bit obnoxious, put on the shirt, then put on the plaid too, just didn’t actually button it up.

 

Rook got her stuff, then grabbed her trashbag, didn’t bother drying her hair and started wandering the house for the garbage containers. With the size of this thing, it probably needed to use an actual container instead of just a normal sized trash bin. Maybe even a trash compactor? She wasn’t sure, she never lived in a mansion like this, she had no idea what the daily upkeep contained.

And John probably didn’t worry too much about the price of garbage disposal and other amenities. That wasn’t a typical rich people problem.

 

So she walked around searching a bit.

Meanwhile got to check out the giant animal trophies, be reminded of Peaches’ Taxidermy and the stuffed animals in the Haunted House too.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to actually sleep in the mansion when she realized that.

 

Eventually she found the container she needed and she dropped her trash in it. After that she went back to the second story and stared out a bit through the windows, watching the sunset.

It was very beautiful.

Especially when the sky got dark enough and the stars started peeking out.

Footsteps on the wooden floors, made her turn around and smile at Joseph. He was clean too and wearing his own clothes.

“Where is my shirt?” She asked from him. “You know… I don’t exactly have many clothes in this.” She said and patted the bag on her side.

“It is in the laundry pile. John took it on himself to deliver them to be cleaned…”

Rook couldn’t stop the silent huff of laughter. Yeah, right.

“Though knowing him, I’m afraid he might have burned them as they were an ‘eyesore’ according to him…” And yeah, there was a bashful expression on his face before he pushed back his glasses and it was back to his usual placidity. “I will compensate you somehow for them.”

Rook flapped her hand.

“No need. They weren’t actually my size and I wasn’t terribly attached to them. They were just clothes.”

Joseph nodded yet still looked a bit bothered about it.

“Nevertheless, I will replace them.”

Rook rubbed her temple. “I don’t actually need or want another set of oversized plaids or shirts.”

And at that Joseph just tilted his head a bit at her and blinked calmly.

“Then what do you need?”

Was he actually joking? She threw up her hands and looked at him and he had his completely serious face on. So she thought, well, why the heck not?

She couldn't possibly mortify herself anymore in front of him then she already did during almost every interaction she had with him.

He was a priest, he probably heard some embarrassing confessions and things like that and he asked, so he opened up the floodgates. Truly it was his own damn fault.

“Well, I would want to find a bra that fits, because that’s not actually easy to find here of all places in the whole damn county for some reason and some jeans that are not torn or had to be kept up with belts so I don’t end up half naked when it comes to actually moving. Some shoes that I don’t have to pad out so my feet don’t slide around in them?” And she started running out of steam, not even sure he caught any of that. “But beggars can’t be choosers. I’m sorry for just dumping that on you.”

Joseph took a few steps closer and held her twitching hands in his gentle grip.

“While I didn’t quite understand all of what you said… Wanting clean and comfortable clothing is not something to be ashamed of. It is a basic human need and I understand why it weighted on your mind.”

And yeah, she just couldn’t.

Not with all of that right up in her face and she quickly ducked her head before her blush could be seen.

Except Joseph wanted to see her, so one of his hands caught her chin and tilted up her face, so he saw her expression completely and she was really not ready for that right at the moment.

Avoiding his eyes would have been easier if Joseph didn’t have the patience of a Saint and the ability to completely ignore any awkwardness like a pro. She started squirming in his grip, but she didn’t try to break the gentle hold.

With a sigh, she gathered her courage and looked him in the eyes… and right then a door slammed open and John’s voice drifted over to them.

There was a barely perceptible tension in Joseph’s frame before he released her chin and he leant down and touched his forehead to hers.

“We will continue this discussion later. My brother has some… issues about being ignored.”

Rook shrugged softly, she would be glad if this conversation got postponed until like the end of the world.

 

“Brother!” Then with a more unhappy tone. “Deputy.” Came John bounding up the stairs and Rook watched from Joseph’s side the strangely fluid way he was moving. It looked kind of funny and strangely elegant at the same time, like he wasn’t exactly sure whether the floor was stable under him?

It certainly was a swagger of some kind.

“I have been searching for you! There are some confessions I’d like to discuss with you before you leave tomorrow. The Deputy can surely find something to amuse herself with.”

Was he actually jealous that she spoke with Joseph?

Really?

Were they suddenly back in kindergarten?

Was this how he wanted to play this whole thing?

Well. He was going to find out that two can play this game.

 

She tapped Joseph’s arm and his attention was back on her immediately.

“Don’t worry about me, go with your brother, I will be okay!” And she smiled a giant sugary sweet smile at John just to show him how unbothered she was about him.

Joseph visibly hesitated, especially when he saw the smile on her face, but in the end nodded.

Rook turned on her heels and strode toward the room they left her previously, her eyes going a bit colder.

She was really not looking forward to staying here without Joseph.

To be honest, she wasn’t looking forward staying here with Joseph either, it seemed he would be like a bone or a toy between her and John.

 

She stood before the window in the room and opened it up. It wasn’t that high up, she could probably get up on the roof and there was a ladder leading down from there, so she could be gone in a few minutes with none the wiser.

 

One of her legs were already outside when she realized, that no.

She couldn’t leave.

 

Leaving would just mean that John succeeded in driving her off and for some reason she could not tolerate him getting the better of her.

Something about his attitude just rubbed her in the wrong way and she was down to fight.

She brought back her leg inside, sighed and closed the window.

She had a cougar to find.

It was going to be a long night.

~~~

 

She woke up on the bed still in her clothes on the covers, with Peaches pressing up against her front, warming her.

It was barely before dawn and she faintly remembered just passing out once Peaches found her wandering outside. After that she woke up several times during the night, dreaming about blood, fire, screams and animal shrieks, before the purring feline lulled her back to uneasy sleep.

 

Her stomach rumbled and she raised one unhappy brow at the ceiling, trying to spend as much time in the bed as she could, before her hunger drove her out.

She fucking hated mornings and somehow her internal clock reset itself at waking up around dawn since she came to this accursed place.

 

She went to the bathroom and did her morning routine, before leaning on the sink and looking at herself in the mirror. Hair a complete mess, she still had red creases on her cheek from the bed covers, eyes half lidded from the early hour.

She yawned and rubbed at her head messing up her hair even more. She combed it a bit with her fingers to try to give it some form or at least make it look intentional instead of what it was, a horrible case of bedhead, but she didn’t really succeed.

 

In the middle of scowling at the mirror she wondered why was she even trying to appear like a respectable adult? Who the hell did she even want to impress there?

She was kind of a mess even at her best and she was so far away from her best that it might as well be in a totally different galaxy.

Well, no use crying about spilled milk and it’s not like she wanted or needed to win a beauty contest anytime soon.

 

Rook shrugged and walked out the door, Peaches raising her head for a few seconds before laying back down when Rook pointedly left the door open to her. Lazy little shit. She left the door slightly ajar in case the cougar suddenly decided that she wanted to get out from the room. Then Rook just started wandering about the place once again hoping to find a kitchen or something, because turns out missing dinner was not the best idea after vomiting up everything she ate in the Haunted House.

 

She looked at the mounted animals and decided that yes, they were still freaky as fuck even with several hours of sleep behind her. It was still dark out, she could still see the stars outside through the windows as she walked by them. There was a faint sound of music coming from the door that led to the rather large living room.

 

Rook stood in the doorway silently, unsure whether she would disturb Joseph if she walked through the room or not. He was the only one in there, dressed in a large jumper over his jeans, feet bare, rosary in his hand, staring at nothing occasionally murmuring something, something instrumental playing in the background.

He looked serene and he was praying and she didn’t want to disturb him, so she turned around and decided that she could wait a bit more.

“Rook?”

His voice cut through the air like a hot knife through butter and she stopped like lightning suddenly struck her. How did he even know she was there? Did he have some kind of built in radar or sixth sense for always knowing where she was?

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is a pattern.

Was he secretly a robot? She looked carefully at him when she turned back, He looked up at her and as always his attention focused on her just made her completely stop being able to do anything else aside from focusing on him.

It was a bit annoying thing, but he was just this presence that drew everyone’s attention on him when he wanted. She hadn’t really seen him around complete strangers, but she was sure that they would get captivated by him even if he did nothing particular eye-catching.

And to her… well, he was like a flame to a moth.

 

She didn’t even realize that she walked back into the foyer and stood before the chair he was sitting in, her hand in his. Again.  

“Good morning, Rook. Did you sleep well?” He asked from her, his eyes such a deep blue and she was doomed wasn’t she?

She shook her head at that, noticing how he got a slight frown. He searched her face, taking in the bags under her eyes, the shallowness of her skin.

The rumbling of her stomach which choose that exact moment to remind her of its existence in a rather loud fashion. She blinked down surprised, Joseph blinked up at her surprised, before he chuckled and stood up from his chair stretching a bit but never releasing her hand.

“You missed dinner yesterday.” He scolded her like he was channeling her long-dead grandmother. And that was a slightly disturbing thought.

She shrugged, it was the truth. “If you could point me to the kitchen? That would be nice.” Rook sighed and signed.

Joseph peered down with a slight frown, before nodding to himself.

He then started walking and with the way he was holding her hand she had little choice in following him… though if she had wanted she could have easily broken the hold, but the thought didn’t even cross her mind.

It was nice to walk hand in hand with him. She liked it.

 

With Joseph actually knowing where the kitchen was and leading her, they pretty quickly found themselves in the middle of it, full of stainless steel and marble countertops. Everything was gleaming and it looked pretty much like something out of a catalogue.

She hesitated at the entrance, stopping Joseph midstride and he looked back at her in question.

“Do you actually use this place?”

Joseph looked around in surprise, before she saw the slight downturn of his lips.

“John likes his creature comforts. It’s a bit... “ he seemed to be at  loss how to continue that.

Ostentatious? Expensive? An absolutely useless statement?

For a cult which preaches about destroying class divides and forsaking material possessions while talking about the inevitable coming end of the world?

“This whole mansion is an overkill.” She signed and Joseph just nodded with a sigh.

“I love my brother, but he choose a hard path for himself. I’m afraid… that he will fall if he continues down this way… There is only one ending I can see for him if he does not change his ways, if he does not learn.” He said melancholic before he shook himself and brought Rook inside the kitchen.

He led her to one of the barstools across a the large and probably rather heavy countertops, then walked to the wall sized fridge.

He looked like he was eaten by it when he started looking for ingredients and Rook was already half standing up to get him out when he popped up with a carton of eggs, some vegetables and bread. Who keeps bread in the fridge?

He hummed as he washed the vegetables, then cut them up. He started talking when he cracked some of the eggs into a bowl.

“I spent a lot of time trying to find my brothers. One would think that I would have learnt how to cook during that time, but buying premade food is a lot cheaper and easier than buying and storing fresh ingredients… Truth to be told I can only make a few dishes.”

He turned back to her with a small smile, before he poured the egg mixture into the sizzling pan filled with the fried vegetables.

“Lucky for us both, scrambled eggs are not that hard.” He waved a hand at the bread he put on the counter. “Would you mind slicing some of that up? The toaster is supposed to be… somewhere around.”

Rook shrugged then decided to take that as permission to start going through the cabinets. She found some plates, utensils, mugs, a teakettle, what felt like the entire kitchenware line from TopShop, but no toaster until she was elbow deep in a box under the sink. She raised the toaster up high victoriously swirling around to show Joseph, who was plating up his eggs. The teakettle was on the stove merrily warming some water and there were some filters in two plain mugs already.

“Good, I wasn’t entirely sure John still owned that.”

Raising one eyebrow at him, she put the toaster down next to a socket and plugged it in.

“And you made me look through the entire kitchen despite not actually knowing?”

A small sheepish smile as he lifted both his shoulders and hands up. Rook glared at him, before she cracked and let a small grin show on her face.

“Why would he not have a toaster in this giant mess?”

Joseph just popped in piece after piece into the warmed appliance.

“I think it was something about the toaster burning bread instead of toasting it?” He looked at the side then turned the dial way down. “Just to be sure let’s try it on the lightest setting, first?”

A minute passed, then two, then three and both of them started to watch the toaster carefully for smoke or flames or anything, because surely the lightest setting should have already finished with toasting, right?

“Say… Is there a fire-extinguisher in the kitchen?” Rook asked him when the toaster still hadn’t ejected the bread.

Joseph hesitated before looking at a point on the wall where something was buckled in some time ago. The buckles were the exact size for a fire extinguisher actually.

“There was one… I think it is better if we just unplug the toaster for now.”

Pressing the eject button did nothing and Rook hurriedly pulled the plug on the whole thing. The eject button once again didn’t work, so they just fished out the half-burnt slices, singeing the tips of their fingers a bit. Rook grabbed the plate of blackish toasts, got a butter knife, stood over the sink and started to scrape of the darker parts as much as she could. Nodding to herself, she brought the plate back on the table and grabbed the filters out of the tea. They probably steeped enough by then.

Joseph seemed to have a thing with toasts and piling them up on her plate. Or just generally piling food on her plate, she amended to herself when he started piling eggs onto the toasts.

She put down one mug before him with a decisive click and signed at him.

“Stop. If you put one more slice there… I will do something. I’m not sure what but I will.”

He raised his hands, another slice in one of them already which he dropped onto his plate and then dropped the knife from his other next to it.

He didn’t even look sheepish at being caught, and she pursed her lips.

Joseph Seed was a mother-hen.

 

They ate quickly and put away the leftovers under a clean dish towel for John to find later if he wanted to eat them, then they went back to the living room.

Joseph went to sit in an armchair, book open on his lap and Rook settled down onto a couch waiting for the sun to rise.

 

She rapped her knuckles on the nearby table to catch Joseph’s attention.

“Are you really leaving today?”

She didn’t really want him to leave, to leave her alone in this place filled with all those stuffed animals and hunting trophies.

She didn’t really have many people here whom she knew, a lot like when she was brought into the Conservatory, though that felt somehow different.

Probably because by then she spent a large amount of time getting to know Faith. And she still wasn’t sure which interactions with her were real and which were just made up by her mind.

She didn’t know John.

What she saw of him so far… well, she thought some caution wouldn’t be amiss when interacting with him.

Maybe hide behind Joseph a bit until he got used to her presence in his region? But that idea, was out the window because she was sure that Joseph was leaving her here alone.

“Yes. Jacob asked to see me as soon as possible.”

She knew that nothing happened to her aside from being shot when she was in the eldest Seed’s region, but something in her still balked at the thought of going back to the Whitetail Mountains and seeing him again so soon.

She wondered whether she would go with Joseph if he asked her. She wasn’t sure she would say no to him, though she felt her anxiety rise up because the idea even occurred to her.

Through all this Joseph looked at her eyes and her face. Thank God, he was uncannily observant at most times so he didn’t ask her to come with him and Rook was grateful.

So Rook tried to divert her attention from that topic, before she lapsed into panic again and asked a question she wanted to since the previous day.

She sat up on the couch from her slouch.

“Why do you want me here?”

Joseph looked at her, obviously trying to decide what to answer, so Rook just went right for his jugular.

“Tell me the truth. What do you want from me?”

Rook was sure that he had a reason for bringing her here, for _asking_ her to come with him. Though in the end…

He only asked her. It was her own choice to come with him.

And even if she didn’t know the exact reason, she still knew that there was a reason behind him asking, so it wasn’t like she walked into the situation without any thought to it.

 

She still had a choice on whether she wanted to stay or go, though that largely depended on what he would tell her at that moment.

He seemed to be mulling over something before he turned determined.

“People say… that I’m crazy. That I’m a psychopath masquerading as a prophet and preying on people… I’ve never claimed to be a perfect person.” He looked down at his feet for a fleeting second before he raised his head again and stared into her eyes. “I’m not even a good person, Rook. I have been chosen, but I’m not infallible. Can I?”

Joseph gesticulated with one hand toward the couch, leaning forward a bit, while the other was still keeping his book open on a page. Rook nodded, and Joseph stood up from his armchair and sat down next to her on the couch, keeping some distance.

She noticed that he usually did that. Waited for permission to come closer, to touch, waiting for her to initiate or reaching out in an offering.

“I made mistakes. I’ve done things that can never be forgiven. But I’ve seen what is coming and I will do whatever it takes to see my family safe and happy. I have no illusions about myself.”

He shook his head, his eyes boring into hers. He snapped the book shut and put down it on the coffee table, not breaking eye contact with her.

“Every one of us has a role to play. You, me, my brothers, my sisters… even the Resistance. God is watching all of us.”

He reached out slowly to her, giving her time to move away or lean back more, but Rook didn’t do any of that. She just let him cradle her face in his hands.

“When you walked into my church… it felt like everything went silent. I knew you. I have seen your face before in a thousand different possibilities.”

Rook held her breath when he gently leant his forehead against hers, she could feel his fingers softly, barely playing with the small whispery hairs at her nape.

“I have seen you carve a bloody swathe across the county, I have seen you dead, I have seen you dying, I have seen you crying… I have seen you live to old age surrounded by your family. I have seen you as part of the Resistance, I have seen you as one of us. All of those visions were results of your choices.”

Joseph hummed, closed his eyes, but Rook was unable to tear her gaze away from him.

“Your choices… You are the key to ending this conflict. You were given a gift, Rook. And you have to decide how you use that gift. From what I’ve seen, the only thing I can do is to give you free reign, to wander, to observe… to decide.”

And that was the crux of the matter. She wasn’t sure she was this Messiah type character they were waiting for. She was already compromised. She liked Faith and she liked Joseph. She liked the cultists she came to know. But Eden’s Gate had as much of a dark side to it as the Resistance did. She had already seen some of that.

 

But Joseph… Joseph was giving her a choice to look deeper.

To make a decision without him being in the picture.

 

“I can’t make those choices for you.” and with that last parting remark he stood up and stepped away from her.

 

Outside dawn had come and gone, the sun was shining bright and cheery, but she only felt cold to her bones.

~~~

 

Joseph disappeared after their little talk to get read for his journey. James went with him, while officially Driss stayed to get better, unofficially she felt that it was Joseph’s way to give her one familiar face on the Ranch.

 

She was not angry at him, not really.

It was just… she just wanted one moment where she felt like everything was okay and she didn’t have to choose between bad and worst things?

 

She just wanted one thing which didn’t try to blow up in her face. Just one thing.

 

She could still grab her bag and just disappear, but where would she go?

There was no place for her where she could just live out her life quietly, not that she thought she deserved a peaceful life.

Sometimes she thought this was her punishment, sometimes she thought it was an elaborate test by something.

Maybe Joseph was right and God was really testing her.

 

She was about ready to throw in the towel and just jump out the window and take off somewhere to the mountains, when she saw the Seeds walking toward the hangar.

A plane was already warming up, so the noise was kind of deafening but at this distance she probably wouldn’t have heard them even if things were quiet.

 

But she could see them clearly, the way they walked side by side, the gentle way they hugged each other, the forehead touch? There was genuine love between them and it fucking hurt to see that in the light of her previous conversation with Joseph.

If John turned out to be as bad as Faith said…

She wasn’t sure what the fuck she could do then. She wasn’t sure that she actually needed to do something. It wasn’t her duty or her right.

Wasn’t it?

 

Rook leaned on the windowsill, her finger absentmindedly tracing the patterns in the wood.

 

And with her choices deciding the fate of the entire county? What the fuck was up with that cryptic bullshit? There was something about the way he told her, that she didn’t… she couldn’t just forget about it and ignore everything.

 

Joseph looked up from leaning down a bit to talk with John, his eyes catching hers through those ever present eyesore sunglasses. He waved at her and she raised a hand to wave back at him.

 

To be honest it all came down to one thing.

Did she truly believe that the Collapse - whatever it may be - was really coming?

 

He truly believed that God spoke to him and if the Collapse was something he had seen in these supposedly God given visions… though with the way the world was going down the drain. She could not dismiss the possibility that something was coming.

Even that maybe something had already happened? There has to be a reason why no one came to check on them, when that video she saw in the helicopter before arriving to the compound was up on YouTube. It could be possible, that there was finally some crisis big enough happening out there that turned Hope County into a small fry. Or Nancy and the others did their job well enough and everyone was convinced that the whole video was a hoax…

Hm. Nevermind, she wouldn’t figure that out on her own. 50-50 chance for both and she didn’t like to gamble on odds like that.

 

In the end Rook wasn’t really sure about whether God was actually speaking to him, but she was sure that he believed He did.

And she knew that hidden deep within Montana there was something which made it a strategically important target in case this arms race they have been stuck in suddenly escalated…

 

_Montana had one of the largest nuclear missile fields in the world._

 

Which made it an ideal target if someone wanted to cripple the US arsenal for a bit of time. Granted if that happened they were in rather deep shit, because nuclear weapons only acted as deterrents until someone didn’t actually fire them.

After that…

Well the next World War would be fought with stick and stones.

 

From what she has seen during her travels and from the various maps and stashes she found… Hope County had several large bunkers going deep into the mountains and several smaller bunkers which might be less ideal in case of a nuclear fallout, no matter how much a prepper prepped in it.

Radiation was a dangerous thing.

 

She had the idea from some conversations she had overheard, that Eden’s Gate was prepping some of those large bunkers for themselves. One in each region, she might have even seen the entrance of Faith’s and Jacob’s. Maybe.

She wondered… were those bunkers connected? Where would Joseph go?  To which one of his siblings’? Or did he have his own?

 

Joseph stared at her for some time before he turned back to John and said something. It must not have been something he wanted to hear much, because the younger Seed brother seemed almost diminished, swaying forward a bit, all but ready to collapse when Joseph turned away to go to the plane that had James in the pilot seat already.

It was only a minute thing, when Joseph stepped up to get into the secondary cockpit, John was all poised and there was nothing in his posture which would have showed the previous lapse of control.

The plane lifted off, John waved his last goodbyes and she watched his coated figure carefully.

 

Even a blind man could see that he was dangerous.

Well…

Actually...

She was dangerous too, pretty much everyone in the whole damn county was dangerous in one way or another.

But if she was stuck with him for some time, she would need to figure out some things. Like what made him tick, what was his deal, things like that.

One thing she was already sure, that he worshipped the ground Joseph was walking on.

And that he wasn’t exactly alright with her coming to the Ranch.

 

That didn’t bode well for her future here in Holland Valley.

Though it might also mean that he would leave her alone, only observe her from afar. That would be far more preferable than the alternative of her being stuck to his side.

 

John spun quickly, coat billowing out around him, snapping at some cultists loitering around, before his eyes caught hers. Rook felt a shiver going down her spine as he strode towards the house. Once again she noticed the strangely fluid way he moved, it could be called a strut she guessed.

He must have been a really interesting lawyer to have in court…

 

Then there were footsteps on the stairs behind her and she looked back to see him walking up to her. They were measuring up each other before John got close enough. Too close she thought, with only a step or two between the two of them.

“Joseph seems to think that you are somehow important... That you are something special.”

There was some dislike on his face but he seemed more curious than anything else. Rook was sure her expression resembled his quite a bit.

“You have not been cleansed, you have not confessed and you have not atoned... yet. But do not worry Deputy... You will.”

John stepped closer and they were almost pressed together, because she wouldn’t take a step back to keep the distance. He wasn’t as tall as either of his brothers, he only had like a few inches on her, but she still had to look up at him a bit which she did, chin jutting out, expression like a mule’s.

He let out a small chuckle and thrust his face into hers and she didn’t flinch even as his eyes flitted over her expression, drinking it all in. His fingers twitched at his sides, yet he didn’t try to touch her.

That was the only reason why one of her knives wasn’t already sticking out of his body.

“Congratulations, Deputy. You have caught our attention.” He reached out and traced the edge of her jaw and Rook slapped his hand away hard, metal flashing and a thin line of blood splatter flying.

He hissed, then drew his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them.

He smiled wide, white teeth on display, eyes full of something wild.

“We are going to have such a wonderful time together, Deputy.”

 

Would Joseph be very sad if she stabbed his baby brother?

~~~

 

Well… if one good thing could be said about John… it was that he didn’t really lie.

One could go about how lying was a sin and all that, but she was sure it was because truth could hurt a lot more than any lie.

 

She would have certainly preferred if she still had the illusion that John would leave her alone, that all he felt was disgust because of her presence.

That wasn’t the case.

If anything else she could say that John seemed something close to being enraptured sometimes? Not really by her but something else maybe? She didn’t really know what, but John was definitely a really fucking strange man and she didn’t know enough of him to try to guess his motives.

It probably all came down to Joseph though. He seemed to be more willing to be civil to her since Joseph had left. Of course he still had moments when he seemed to hate her, but more than once she caught him looking at her assessing.

 

It seemed that both of them were quite aware of the thin ice under their feet and they tried to mutually figure each other out.

They watched one another, John a lot more noticeable than her, but that was probably because of the difference in their previous life experiences.

John got more and more nicks on his hands, every time he tried to touch her she would add another. She hoped that he would start to eventually learn to stop doing that, but he was very determined. And touchy.

 

The two of them spent a few days on the Ranch like that locked in this stalemate, neither knowing what to do with the other.

Trying to co-exist on some level?

That was a tall order, not quite impossible, but neither really know what to make of that. And the two of them being stuck together in the mansion was not something easy to bear. As large as it was, as large as the property around it was, as pretty and expensive and ostentatious everything was… it was still a cage.

A gilded cage.

 

She started noticing pretty early that John seemed to start getting somehow antsy and she felt cooped up more and more.

Even with the visits to the recuperating Driss, meeting and talking with some of the cultists who approached her, watching John slip away to fly...

 

Something was bound to boil over.

 

And it came pretty soon, one day she woke up to her door slamming open, Peaches snarling and a package of something landing on the bed, before a cheerful voice came from the door.

“Rise and shine, sweetheart! We are going on an outing!”

Rook opened up one eye, took in his beaming face, that dawn was still away and that he seemed to be almost bouncing at a safe distance from the cranky cougar.

However he wasn’t at a safe distance from the small pillow which slammed into his face.

It was one of those harder decorative pillows, so she hoped it hurt him at least a little.

There was a small “oof” sound and she smiled tiny little smile into her pillow.

Good.

 

“And here I thought you would be happy, ecstatic even to get away a little bit! I even brought you something and this is the thanks I get?”

John loved his voice.

Rook not so much.

Okay, sometimes it was nice to listen to it, the cadence, the way he spoke, but not at ass o’clock in the morning and not when he wouldn’t. shut. the. fuck. up. while. she. was. trying. to. sleep.

“Ah… So ungrateful… Brother even made me promise that you would get that little gift as soon as possible…”

Rook’s eyes snapped open and she sat up in the bed, somewhat uncoordinated, still half-asleep but rapidly waking up. Did he just say what she thought she heard him saying?

John grinned at her, clapped his hands together, before he spun around and slammed the door closed behind him.

“Half an hour, sweetheart!”

 

Rook stared at the door for several minutes after the whistling got quiet enough, meaning that he walked away from her room. Probably to his to do whatever he needed to do to get ready too, he was pretty much still in what amounted to his nightclothes too.

She took a deep breath, then another, turned on the light on the bedside table, before she uncovered her legs to the cool air. She forgot her window open once again and the air was almost frigid inside the room because of that.

She grabbed the package noting that it had some weight but it wasn’t too heavy, before she scuttled back under the covers. She could get ready in 10 minutes if she wanted, she wasn’t about to leave her bed before that.

 

Brown wrapping paper around a box, tied with a string. She hoped it wasn’t something breakable, though she would have definitely heard that.

It kinda felt like old family Christmases to open up a box like this.

 

She untied the thin rope and got the paper off without damaging it too much. White paper box, nothing fancy and she was struck by doubt for a second… what if it was something dangerous?

She hesitated for a second before shrugging. If they wanted to kill her they had plenty of chances to do so. At this point she would had liked to think that they liked her or at least tolerated her for some reason.

 

At the top there was a new cultist jumper and that was nice enough. She was starting to feel naked when she was surrounded all day by people who were wearing theirs. It made her stick out like a sore thumb, like John was sticking out of the masses and she didn’t like being noticed as much as he did.

Jeans. There were jeans under it. She touched them, before she checked out the label for the size and it was not exactly the size she would have got herself - though sizing systems were utter bullshit most of the time - but it seemed close enough when she got them out and spread them out on the bed-covers. Last thing inside was a pair of boots. Light brown hiking boots.

 

She got them out from the box almost reverently, hoping against all hope that they were her size.

She didn’t even bother with checking, she just grabbed her feet and compared her sole to the boots.

It was almost a perfect match.

 

Oh thank God, she thought and felt like crying.

 

It was going to be another long day, but at least something good already happened.

~~~

~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, sorry for the wait. To everyone who kudoed and to those wonderful wonderful people who left a comment for the last chapter: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!  
> I'm going to answer them, as soon as I slept a bit more. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funtimes with your local Baptist AKA Saintly patience is not Rook's forte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, so this didn't happen in two weeks, but rather two weeks and a half and I still haven't done things I should have done. But in my defense: I have a new place which has to be renovated a bit more than I thought, work has been hectic as hell and family is hard to live with 24/7 after 6 years of solitude. But at least, finally there is some light at the end of the tunnel!
> 
> As usual, English is not my 1st language, it will never be, I hate editing and I don't know anything about grammar.
> 
> Enjoy reading! :D

### CHAPTER 7

_In which Rook and John each have their come to Jesus moments (and everyone is a kindergartener at their heart)_

 

She sat next to John in the passenger seat of a jeep, her legs crossed in her new jeans. It was a size or two bigger than what she would have bought herself, but it was still a much better fit than anything she had found so far in Hope County.

 

And the boots were pretty much perfect? Like she wondered for a second when Joseph got her size, then suddenly recalled the whole feet bandaging thing.

Hm, nevermind… that would actually be a bit creepy.

 

But, that was the only moment he was close to her feet from what she could remember… And she hoped that she didn’t stick her legs into his face while she was high as a kite.

And that would be another mortifying thought which she would never want to contemplate again if possible.

 

Maybe it was a joint effort between him and Faith?  

Well, actually that was like the only reasonable explanation.

Because when she arrived to the Conservatory they got her to try out several rubber boots before settling on one to work in the orchard.

He could have asked easily for that.

 

It still didn’t make his gift any less thoughtful and Rook had this small glowing ball of happiness inside her during their ride that not even John could dim.

 

The moment she stepped through the entrance he was there leaning against the jeep nonchalantly and he measured her for several uncomfortable seconds from head to toe, before he said. “At least now you look less like something a cat dragged in.”

Then he turned around and strode to the driving seat of the car. Rook clenched her hand before she forcibly relaxed her cramping fingers.

Nothing he said would make her unhappy, it was a lovely day! Maybe, if she repeated it enough to herself nothing would destroy her good mood.

Thought it might become an even lovelier day if she could just punch him once in his perfect face.

 

All the Seeds looked fucking beautiful, John even so, but he was kind of a grade A dick most times. She wasn’t sure if it was only her, or everyone else (except Joseph), but she was ready to strangle him at this point. Just a little bit.

 

She grabbed her sticky notes and the stumpy pencil and she wrote down a question. Which he ignored, so she slapped it down on his thigh making him startle.

“How forward are you, Deputy...”

Rook huffed and tapped the yellow paper. It would have been so much easier if he knew ASL, but he didn’t so she was stuck with making little notes.

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?”

John suddenly watched the road with laser focus and Rook looked around for anything suspicious. There was nothing.

The entire road was fucking empty and the only thing missing was a tumbleweed and it would be the perfect definition of a deserted road.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to disturb a driver behind the wheel? It’s a very irresponsible thing to do.”

I can do this all day, she thought and rapped on the paper once again. If he wanted to be an annoying dick, she could meet him heads on.

She could not hum anymore, but she could still make a beat, so she started tapping on his thigh something really recognizable, something really catchy. When she got to the chorus part, John’s hand tightened on the wheel, his knuckles whitening.

She could see his jaw clench and she felt an unholy amount of satisfaction when his fingers made aborted attempts at following the beat, before he reigned himself in.

When he started humming, she could not stop her grin from forming on her face. A side glance at her face and he scoffed.

“Such a child! We are going to a pumpkin farm to negotiate with the owners.”

Rook’s left eyebrow climbed up a bit and she looked back at the cars following them. There were two in total, filled with cultists and guns. An awful lot of guns for negotiating, some might even call it an overkill.

She made an aborted gesture back at them, before she remembered that yeah, communication troubles.

“NEGOTIATING WITH GUNS?”

“Some people need the occasional incentive. And these sinners have proven to be… rather stubborn in denying me last time.” He said with a small sneer on his face before it was wiped away and a cheery smile appeared. It looked kind of fake, his eyes were still cold as ice and Rook felt herself shiver. “I won’t take no for an answer anymore.”

 

All the Seeds had their own brand of being terrifying.

John was just… the slightly unhinged kind of scary. The kind where you weren’t sure whether he would start screaming at a moment's notice or not and it really differed from any of his brothers’ or sister’s way.

Jacob was a commanding presence, always in control. Faith seemed kind and understanding, and she handled guilt like a pro. Joseph was serene and sure, his fury like an edge hidden deep.

John… well John. He could still be frustratingly charming and he was one handsome dick, he was just a bit too unpredictable.

After that the two of them continued their drive in silence, until Rook turned on the radio.

Once again it was time for the cultist 'Best of' playlist.

_We won't listen to them screaming,_

_They had the chance to do what's right._

_They'll be beggin for forgiveness,_

_'Cause the world is gonna end tonight..._

_~~~_

 

They had eventually arrived to a farm. A pumpkin farm to be exact, as John said, sign cheerily proclaiming that it was Rae-Rae’s.

 

They even got a welcoming committee, which would explain the cultists fanning out of their cars without waiting for an order.

Most of the workers of the farm stood around armed with guns and there was a blonde woman in the front with a shotgun pointed right at them.

Or actually at John, who stood there unconcerned, before walking forward a few steps.

 

“Rae-Rae! How nice to see you! How is little Ryan?”

That was exactly the wrong to start with as the woman just scowled and raised the shotgun to point right at John’s head. At this distance, there was no way she would miss if she started shooting and Rook felt a little bit of anxious seeing that.

 

She had her rifle across her back, cleaned, loaded, modded, and she was holding her bow loosely in her right hand. She could probably draw it before Rae-Rae re-aimed her gun, but she wasn’t sure she could stop John from getting shot.

She could probably dive for him if it came to that and hope that the cultists would react quickly enough.

 

She inched forward slowly, silently, until she was almost right behind John’s back, which he knew if the split second glance he threw at her from the corner of his eyes meant anything.

Rook wasn’t sure if he felt safer or not for having her at his back, but she was definitely staying where she was in case the situation started going FUBAR.

 

Rae-Rae scoffed, one of her guys spit at their feet and that was rude and kind of disgusting. There was nothing on John’s face aside from congeniality and that charming fake smile, though everyone knew that no one would actually believe that anyone was as relaxed as they showed.

Too many loaded guns for that.

 

“Have you given any thought to our offer? Ryan would enjoy spending time with kids of his age, I’m sure. ”

Rae-Rae let out a laugh, her face twisted into rage.

“You mean, your extortion! I’m not letting you take my son and you can go back to whatever Hell you’ve crawled out of John Seed, I’m never giving my farm to you either, you fucking bastard!”

A few seconds of silence and Rook watched them all, watched the haughty arrogance on their faces. There were more of them than there were cultists with John and her.

They had some interesting guns with them, while the cultists had their standard equipment.

They weren’t completely surrounded by the farmhands, but it was a rather bad position to be in.

 

John turned his back on them and looked Rook in the eyes, his gaze cold as ice. Rook’s left side was mostly covered by him, so they didn’t see as she raised her left hand to the middle of John’s chest and slowly grabbed a fistful of the blue material of his shirt, her eyes watching carefully every movement behind him.

 

The tension ratcheted up a notch.

“That is rather unfortunate.” John said, voice still cordial, but there was nothing of that in his face anymore. A barely perceptible nod to her and Rook felt herself go blank.

 

In that moment, several things happened right after the other, some of them could even be said happened at the same time it was so fast.

One of Rae-Rae’s guy finally snapped and started shooting, Rae-Rae shouted something that got lost in the cacophony, Rook yanked hard on John’s shirt, making him lose a few buttons and crash down onto the ground, where she rolled over him, arrow flying from the string, before skewering the guy’s throat.

 

That was all the sign the cultists needed and they started shooting too and soon enough there was a large amount of dust in the air, the smell of gunpowder was overwhelming and thankfully one of them threw a smoke bomb in their way, so they could get away a bit easier in the confusion. Rook half dragged, half led John back toward some cover which wasn’t a truck, because they couldn’t get back to them without getting shot at least a few times and she didn’t want to go near one in case someone made a hole in the gas tank and managed to blow it up.

 

She also cursed silently that John didn’t fucking carry a gun with himself.

First things first, when they got back to the Ranch she would insist he always had some kind of weapon on him. And not just a knife, an actual sidearm or something because if he was such an idiot to bait a clearly enraged woman with her son(?) then he would probably need something with more kick than a simple throwing knife.

 

When John was behind a tree stump and Rook pushed her bow into his hands, she also grabbed her rifle and laid down on the ground.

 

Line up a shot, breath in, breath out, squeeze the trigger.

And again.

And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again.

Reload the magazine.

Repeat.

 

The sound of firing eventually petered out.

The smoke bomb completely dissolved in the air and there was only the painful moaning and the silence interceded with a dog barking somewhere to the side.

Someone scrambled to their fallen and there was a crunch of something breaking under boots.

 

One of the guys peeked out from behind their truck’s door and saw John swagger up to the downed form of Rae-Rae, a black bow across his shoulders. She was still alive, though she had several bleeding wounds on her torso and she still tried to crawl away from them all.

Behind John there was Rook walking, steps light, sniper rifle ready, face like stone, checking out the dead bodies, while simultaneously watching John’s back.

 

He walked up to the crawling woman and stepped on her reaching hand, before grounding his shoe onto her fingers only inches away from picking up a discarded or dropped handgun.

“We came here to negotiate with you despite your rather unwelcome actions during the last time we were here. And this is how you honor our kindness? Trying to kill all of us? Your greed knows no bounds, Rae-Rae. Such a shame…” He tsked and looked down at her. “Your son would have made such a wonderful addition to the Project.”

That made Rae-Rae raise her head and snarl at him despite the blood bubbling out from her mouth. “Do not dare to mention my son, you sick fuck!”

Her voice was breathy at the end and Rook was sure that at least one bullet must have clipped her lungs. She would die in agony, slowly choking on her own blood.

 

John kicked the gun away and knelt down next to the still struggling woman. He grabbed her by her hair and looked her square in the eyes.

“When we find your son, we will take him with us and he will join us in our march to Eden’s Gate.” It was almost gentle, the way he drew his knife across her throat. “May God have mercy on your soul.”

She bled out in seconds and went silent.

 

John let her head go, causing it to flop down, before he got out a handkerchief from a pocket and cleaned off the knife. His front got the gist of the arterial spray, even his face had specks of blood, but he didn’t seem to care much aside from plucking at his clothes with a weary sigh once.

“Report! How many wounded do we have?” He snapped out and Rook started checking the motionless bodies for a pulse. She debated whether to check those that had a hole in their foreheads, courtesy of her, but in the end she decided to make sure that everyone was truly dead and not left suffering like that on the brink for the next few hours.

 

“Only a few. Sarah got shot in the leg, Yun has a busted shoulder and Peter got shot in his… behind.” There was some barely concealed snickering at that. Rook rolled her eyes a bit and

John continued to stare at the large farmhouse before them firmly fixated on something.

“Get bandaged, then comb the place for the kid! I have places to be, so everyone get on that!”

He shouted back and walked away. Rook followed him at a more sedate pace, before diverging from him to the garage.

She found a letter on a table with a Colt in a holster, which she picked up. Common gun, nothing fancy, but it was good enough.

She didn’t quite understand what was the plan originally, but it seemed that the kid never made it back to the farm judging from the unclaimed gun and supplies. He might be hiding somewhere, but if someone didn’t pick him up already, then he probably had no chance against the wildlife without these things.

He might be hiding somewhere, though.

Rook grabbed the note then walked out the garage and circled it once. Nothing. No noise out of the ordinary. A dog was still barking somewhere.

Rook nodded at one of the cultists who came to check the garage then walked to the main house where John went to.

 

She waved and nodded at the cultists who were looking around the buildings and walked into the farmhouse to show the plan she found. John was standing in the bathroom attached to the master bedroom before the sink washing his bloody hands clean. Rook knocked on the door and he tensed up before he twirled around, pinkish water flying from his hand in an arc.

“What?!”

Rook raised an eyebrow before walking forward a bit and waving Rae Rae’s writing in front of him. John snatched it away, crumbling the edges with his still wet hands.

“Son of a…” He started swearing before he remembered that someone was standing before him and he stopped. “Great. Kid is probably dead already.”

Rook nodded, that was quite likely. John took a few deep breaths while he was drying his hands in one of the white towels.

“Not ideal, but nothing can be done about that.” He threw it back as he walked out from the bathroom, passing Rook in the doorway and suddenly stopping.

Measuring blue eyes looked into hers and his brows furrowed a bit as he warred with a thought, before coming to a decision.

“You can pick locks.”

Rook just blinked at him, trying to radiate innocence even if she knew it was utter bullshit.

 

“You picked the lock at Jacob’s place. I know that because he told me that.”

Rook pressed a hand to her chest, nonverbally saying that she was shocked and hurt that she was even accused of something like that.

He didn’t actually know for sure, for all they knew she could have just slipped a key from someone and used that. Though that would mean that she was a decent pickpocket, which might be more problematic than just knowing how to pick a lock.

They stared down each other.

 

“Could you pick the lock on a safe?”

Rook shrugged.

She didn’t know until she actually tried doing it.

That said, a safe probably wouldn’t be easy to open if she tried her bobby pin lockpicking again. She needed lockpicks for that and she didn’t have those on hand, so there was really no use in contemplating whether she could do it or not, huh?

She dug out the yellow pad from her pocket and wrote on it.

“NOT WITHOUT PROPER LOCKPICKS”

John took it from her and read it, before he crumpled the paper and threw it into the bin without looking. Rook wanted to say that he missed, but it was a three-pointer actually.

John had a large smile on his face and Rook was reminded of those old Colgate commercials for a second.

“Lucky for you we do have a set you can use.”

Rook looked at him for a few seconds before she scribbled down something again.

“ISN’T STEALING SUPPOSED TO BE A SIN?”

She knew there was a shit eating grin on her face, but this whole thing, the Baptist asking her to get a safe open seemed kind of counterproductive. How much would she need to atone for that? She probably wouldn’t be let off with a few Hail Marys, would she get a nifty GREED tattoo for this? Would John need to atone himself too?

Her amusement wasn’t really appreciated by the youngest Seed brother, there was a fixed smile on his face as she was tossed a small leather bundle.

Okay then.

It was lockpicking time.

 

And that was how she came to be sitting on the ground in front of a safe trying to open it up with some pieces of metal in her hands and John standing over her shoulders running commentary about something. The nature of sin, maybe?

She only listened with half an ear, most of her concentration was on the shifting tumbles in the lock.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

There was a final click and the door was released.

Rook shuffled away from it and John stepped closer to go through the papers inside.

 

She stood up, waiting in place for a few seconds unnoticed, when she got fed up and tapped John’s shoulders to make him aware that she was leaving. She was let go with a distracted wave.

 

Rook walked around the house, reading a letter she found on a table which was never sent to a guy named Russell. From the tone and the words Rook would bet that the guy was Rae-Rae’s ex or at least the father of her kid.

She felt some guilt for helping to kill the farmhands and Rae Rae… but they started shooting first.

 

Though she wondered a bit.

What the hell was Boomer that it(?) was going to be given to Jacob? Because from the name it definitely sounded like Boomer was a dog, but last she heard and seen Jacob was only training wolves… so why would he want a dog?

At that exact second the dog barking picked up in volume and there was some shouting outside. Rook dropped the note on a dresser and walked out to check what was the commotion about.

 

She stood back a bit to take the scene in.

One of their cultists was on the ground, bleeding from a bite, the dog on the leash snarling at them with its fur completely on edge.

The cultists dragged their bleeding friend away and Rook tried to figure out what to do. Dog seemed angry and scared, but they couldn’t leave it on the leash like that, it would starve slowly to death.

They couldn’t let it go from the leash either it might attack them and it wasn’t like they could easily walk to the leash, because it was still connected to an angry dog.

 

“We can’t just kill it, man!”

“It already bit Josh!”

“It’s just scared!”

“It could have caused much more damage than just one measly bite!”

And on and on, the argument went on.

 

Having had enough of that, Rook went to the shed on the side, the dog following her movement with complete attention. She searched for a shovel and started digging next to the main house, getting lost in the repetitive motions.

 

She didn’t even notice when one, then two, then three cultists came up to her with shovels too and started helping her.

 

Turns out that all those old math problems in high school were right and four people could dig a grave faster than she usually did by herself.

 

Rook stood at the edge, shovel across her shoulders watching some of the guys carry the dead farmhands into their impromptu grave. When she went to help them with carrying one of the guys, she was gently steered away and told that they would handle it.

On one hand she thought it was kind of bullshit, on the other hand she didn’t have to lug around someone larger than her, so it was a mixed bag.

 

Was it some kind of attempt at chivalry? Were they being courteous? Did they think that she was weak? Hm. Probably not. She looked around and saw that the four guys who have helped her dig sat around the grave leaning against whatever they could find, some in the shade and some out in the gentle sunlight.

All of them were sweaty and some of them would get an impressive sunburn on their noses if the lobster redness of their face meant anything.

So it was probably some division of the labor, which was on par with what she had observed since she spent a lot of time at the Conservatory and now the Ranch.

The cultists worked like a well oiled machine.

 

She heard footsteps coming from behind and knew not to turn back. It was just John in his expensive leather shoes, probably finished with whatever he needed from that safe and checking what the commotion was about.

“What are you doing?” He asked quietly.

Rook just shrugged at him. She didn’t want to get out her paper and pencil and the whole scene seemed pretty self explanatory to her.

“We need to get back to the Ranch.”

Rook sighed and fished out her writing supplies.

“HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD.” She showed him the note, before balling it up and throwing it into a nearby trash can. There was some sputtering from him at that, but the two of them stood silently waiting for the last of the bodies being placed inside the hole before the pyre building started from chopped up wood found in one of the sheds.

There was nothing to say really. Both of them knew that if Rook didn’t start digging they would have already been out of the place, with the bodies left to rot and while they needed to move out, John wouldn’t hurry them up.

He couldn’t hurry them up.

 

Not when everyone could see the effect that honoring the dead had on all of them.

Maybe it helped with their conscience, because while they certainly believed that outsiders were sinners… if they didn’t die now for some hopeless cause they might have joined the cult. They were potential friends and family, but the dead can’t make a choice anymore, huh?

 

So John let them finish and even said some parting words over the grave, though he admitted that he wasn’t the best at handling eulogies… that was more of the Father’s thing.

 

Everything was silent, the cultists deep in thought, John finished speaking, the flames crackling occasionally. Even the dog stopped barking and now was laying on the ground watching the pyre.

 

It looked sad.

That was the only explanation she could give, because common sense suddenly left her and she found herself approaching the canine. Calmly, confidently, not letting hesitation show.

They needed to do something about the dog and the best thing they could do was taking it with them. It was a domesticated animal, it would be really cruel to leave it on that leash and it would be less cruel to just let it go.

Literally none of them wanted to hurt the dog, not even Hal, who got bit by it.

She sat down just out of its reach and watched it. The small dog house said Boomer, so that was probably its name.

 

She didn’t know what breed it could be, it was a cute dog and seemed rather calm now, though still skittish. Well, they pretty much killed its owner, so it had every reason to be wary of them.

If they had the time, she would try to… somehow win its trust, even if the whole situation was a shitshow. It wasn’t like how Peaches came to be under her care, she actively helped in murdering the dog’s owner.

 

There was a crinkle in her jeans and she remembered that she had a small bag of Peaches’ treats with her. It was pretty much just dried meat, maybe Boomer would like it?

 

She dropped some of it on the ground and turned back to the funeral. She wondered a bit about how the whole thing would end, would they wait until the fire was finished? Would they fill the grave with the dirt?

They did.

 

Nobody complained about the wait. All of them just stood there in solemn silence. This whole war was weighing heavily on them all as the death count rose with each day.

Both sides were complicit in the escalation.

 

If the cult didn’t try to get the farm, then Rae Rae’s son could possibly be still alive somewhere instead of running around the countryside. If they didn’t come there today, then Rae Rae wouldn’t be dead. If Rae Rae didn’t made the choice to greet them with guns and shooting, then all these people wouldn’t be dead.

Cause and effect from what she saw.

 

She couldn’t quite grudge the woman for wanting to keep her farm, for wanting to keep her son away from the cult which she deemed unsafe… but she could not forget that the cultists had families too. And with this whole stunt Rae Rae placed the protection of the ownership of the farm above all else. All their lives - the cultists’, John’s, the farmhands’, hers, Rook’s. Everyone else. It was a bit jarring.

 

Humanity has always liked to bloody each other for a piece of land, for resources.

Rook couldn’t forget that. Rook’s own priority was to protect those she liked or was on the way of liking… and those weren’t the people who just started shooting at them.

 

Before the Reaping she knew that things were different. She had read enough notes and listened to enough voicemails left that she knew that the cult previously did a lot of things completely legal (and barely legal at times, but still skirting the edges) and while that changed in the last few weeks they still didn’t rage without further provocation.

 

And while Rook didn’t have the whole picture yet… Sentiment was starting to set in and she knew that she wasn’t unbiased anymore. From what she had seen, experienced, from how people interacted with her?

 

She wasn’t a neutral party anymore. Her loyalty was slowly gained by the cult inch by inch.

And her loyalty was a fearsome thing to hold.

 

She patted down the new grave with a sigh, while one of them made a small sign to mark the site. They didn’t use the Eden’s Gate logo, it would have been disrespectful to both sides.

 

Rook eventually unleashed Boomer when they got ready to leave. As they watched it bound away the remaining cultists who were tasked with taking away some of the pumpkins promised that they would feed the dog if it came back to the farm.

 

They drove back to the ranch, John impatiently behind the wheel and Rook dirty in the passenger seat. Neither of them tried to initiate a conversation from that point.

~~~

 

Next day, after John disappeared somewhere and Rook was left alone with only Peaches as company, she decided that she was going out a bit to check out some spots of the Valley. Alone. Or at least without another human. Especially without one specific human.

 

Frankly, she could have only so much time waiting around for John, running around with John, being under his constant observation before she snapped.

It was a long time coming.

 

So she left her jumper and her bag in her room, laced up her boots, put on one of her large plaid shirts, checked her rifle, stocked up on the arrows in her quiver, slung both weapons over her shoulders, got her map, raided the kitchen for some cereal bars which she promptly shoved into her other pocket next to some treats for Peaches, then she climbed out through the window like she was in a bad movie about teenagers.

 

She landed quietly on the side of the building and she wondered whether she should talk with someone before leaving?

Peaches thumped down next to her and Rook decided that no… she left a note in case someone wanted to find her, that should be enough.

 

Then she was off somewhere to the north, because the ranch was pretty much  surrounded by the river. Which made it an ideal defensive spot if something happened, but it left very little choice if one wanted to leave the place. Maybe she could have gone to the side, but she wasn’t that desperate on getting away, so she would rather spare herself the trouble of having to deal with waterlogged equipment.

 

And there were some nice bridges leading to the west where more land was ripe for exploration, though she probably should have brought her jumper just in case. That might have made moving around in cultist territory so much easier, though it would have made her a target too.

It was kind of a lose-lose situation.

 

She crouched at an overhang, looking down at the bridge. It was cultist territory, there were actual guards. She couldn’t actually walk up to them and say, hey guys, I’m with John, let me go through, just willy nilly, right?

And… wait a second. Okay, she almost forgot that last she checked she had her face on a wanted poster.

 

That made this whole little excursion similar to all those times she sneaked around Jacob’s region. She probably should remain out of sight. She patted Peaches on her head and headed further north. There was supposed to be a smaller bridge on a road that wasn’t a main one like this one. Maybe that pass wasn’t quite as monitored.

 

Holland Valley felt different from the forested Whitetail Mountains or the kind of barren Henbane River. Large fields lush with plants, farm animals roaming around, orchards.

 

It was certainly the larder of the county.

 

The whole thing at Rae Rae’s farm suddenly made more sense. The cult believed that they needed every field, every available land to harvest food, to get their storages filled before the prophesied Collapse arrived.

There were hundreds of cultists. How much food and water they needed per day? The cult probably had indoor gardens in those bunkers, they couldn’t possibly cover all of the day to day needs with just what they could produce in the Valley, but having a large amount of canned or preserved food on hand would be an absolute necessity.

 

Rook climbed over a small hill and laid eyes on the next bridge. It was pretty much just a rickety wooden little thing, it made sense that it wouldn’t be guarded. She wondered whether it could even bear some kind of vehicle or if it would collapse if one went on it with anything larger than an ATV.

Maybe even an ATV would be capable breaking it, but thankfully it didn’t collapse when she and Peaches walked over to the other side.

The dirt road diverged into two and she consulted her map. If she took the one leading east, she would be stuck once again near a bridge. If she went south she would eventually have to cross a main road, but it was actually less of a problem than trying to use a possibly monitored bridge.

 

She went south and found an abandoned house. An abandoned and almost completely ransacked house with a hidden stash. And if the notes could be believed then the owners ‘were gonna use the stuff in there to help the Resistance’.

Awkward, Rook thought and scratched her nose. Should she try to open up the stash to see what was in there or should she leave it alone, tell John and risk that someone else would stumble upon the place?

 

She had to check first. Bunkers like this usually had food in there too, which could go into storage.

Maybe she could reflood the bunker later on, and return with reinforcements or something.

 

Rook read the note from the husband to the wife, before undressing and jumping down into the hatch next to the shed. There was supposed to be a key somewhere in there, if only she could find it.

She broke through the surface of the water taking large gulps of air before she dived down again. Peaches watched her bob up and down from the side, while laying down on her clothing, shedding fur on every piece.

 

Rook eventually found the key… it was right on the table. In plain sight.

She felt like beating her head into a wall for bit, because she was a fucking idiot missing what was right in front of her. She climbed out from the hatch and slid down next to Peaches, behind the shed, just trying to get a bit drier.

 

It was a beautiful day, not too hot and it felt nice to have her skin exposed to the sunlight after wading around in the cold water. And there was no one around to see her, which was always a bonus.

 

She laid down on her back, her hands at her stomach and took an impromptu nap there, knowing that her cougar would alert her if something or someone was coming their way.

~~~

 

After the short power nap, she woke up, dusted herself off and redressed.

 

She slipped the key into her pockets and checked the house once again. Still nothing useful, though she grabbed both notes from the husband-wife combo.

She should probably leave to get back to John.

She didn’t miss dealing with him and he probably didn’t miss dealing with her, but the cult probably wouldn’t take it too well if she just disappeared without saying anything for days.

At least she knew that Faith would be worried if she heard something like that from John.

 

The siblings sometimes acted like how her grandmother did with her friends. Gossiping about everything. Those old ladies were better than any surveillance system, every one of them knew everything that happened in the neighborhood.

 

She walked in silence, Peaches bounding up for a bit before waiting for her, getting some scratches on her head, neck and then bounding away a bit again. It was fucking cute.

Rook was smiling by the time they got within eyeshot of the Ranch, but it quickly slid off her face when she realized that the entire place was abuzz with some tension.

John was standing in the middle of the courtyard and there was Joseph too, calmly speaking to the cultists that stood there in a loose circle around them.

 

Did she manage to take herself out on a little trip on the exact day when Joseph decided to pop in for a surprise visit?

Because this seemed kind of… not coincidental.

 

John certainly looked worried behind the smile and Joseph had this slightly pinched look on his face too. She stopped mid stride when a worrying thought occurred to her.

Did something happen? Somebody died?

 

Peaches at least had no such compunctions and just barrelled straight down to the Ranch, causing some alarmed shouting about cougars, before she was already bowling over Joseph. That was her fucking cat ladies and gentleman, the ferocious apex predator who was pretty much begging for head rubs.

Rook felt a bit cheated that apparently she was only the damn feline’s second favorite person.

 

Joseph looked up, unerringly finding her as she got closer to the commotion he and her cat were causing, and he smiled at her, apparently forgetting that he was in the middle of petting Peaches. Immediately Rook was back to being the cougar’s favorite person, not that she cared or realized that, because the moment Joseph’s face did the thing, Rook’s brain had a meltdown.

It wasn’t fucking fair. He wasn’t playing fair… with that face and that smile and those eyes, and she almost tripped on a fucking rock because she couldn’t really pay attention to anything else.

“Hello, Rook.”

She waved back at him.

 

John looked from Rook to his brother, then back again and you could see him suddenly have that ‘oh shit’ moment when one realizes something really alarming as the two of them continued their little staring match, gravitating closer to each other… and because of that neither Rook nor Joseph noticed his little epiphany.

 

“Where the hell were you?” John blurted out, and Joseph immediately snapped. “Language!”

“Sorry, brother. Where were you, Deputy?”

 

Rook glanced at John, before remembering that she didn’t bring her pencil and paper, so she signed at Joseph instead.

“Went on a walk. Found something.”

He repeated her words to John dutifully, before reaching out for her hand and adding, “We better discuss what you’ve found inside. Coming, John?”

She thought she might have heard some grumbling from the younger Seed, but then she had her hand in Joseph’s and she was content to follow his lead into a study in the house.

She had never been in that room before. Giant floor to ceiling bookcases filled with everything ranging from law to biology to psychology. A large wooden desk, with a leather chair and a window behind it, an elegant and heavy lamp. Nothing special, the whole thing screamed opulence as much as the rest of the house did.

If it wasn’t for the papers strewn across the tabletop it would have been entirely like a page from a catalogue.

 

John walked across the room, standing behind the desk and collecting some of the those into a loose stack and she shook her head while the brothers tried to clean up some space on the table. She needed to handle this tiny little crush she had on Joseph, because it was getting out of control and becoming about the size of fucking Russia.

 

She lightly slapped her face with both hands when her gaze wandered over to Joseph bending over the table. His jeans looked painted on in that angle and she could see how his shoulders stretched his white shirt with every movement...

It was official, she was the worst person ever and she despaired over that thought, while avoiding looking in his general direction until she could get her blush down.

 

“So what did you find?”

Rook jumped a little bit at being addressed like that, but she quickly recovered enough to get out the notes from the house and give it to them.

Joseph and John read through theirs quickly before they exchanged them. Meanwhile Rook got out her map and unfolded it onto the table.

“Where did you find these, Rook?” Asked Joseph with a gentle touch to her right shoulder. His hand was really warm even through the plaid and layers she was wearing.

Rook looked at the map and pointed out the approximate location of the house. There was a considering hum from John as he leant over the map.

“I think that’s the Laurels’ house.” He nodded decisively. “Yes, it’s the Laurel residence, I’m sure.”

Joseph had a thoughtful look on his face, checking out the notes again.

“Same Laurels that planted explosives along the Bridge of Tears?”

John nodded, before looking back at the map again.

“This stash probably hides the rest of those... We need to get it before the Resistance gets wind of this.” And with that he was already striding out from the study, barking orders for two groups to get armed and be ready to head out in a minute, leaving Rook and Joseph alone.

 

Joseph walked to the window and watched as two jeeps packed with cultists drove away, John in the driver seat of the first car.

Rook wandered over to the door, ready to leave the study for something more familiar, when Joseph turned around and called out to her quietly. “Rook? How do you feel?”

Rook looked over her shoulder, managed a faint smile and signed back. “I’m okay.”

He searched her face and Rook bore it without any complaints or eye rolling. He was an utter and complete mother hen. When he laid out a hand for her, she sighed softly and walked over to him into his waiting hold.

With her hand loosely in his right, he reached out to her face with his other hand after giving her some time to move away if she wanted. Rook stood her ground, she found no problem with him touching her, especially as he always treated her like she was fine china.

Her face gently cradled in his hand and she shifted just the slightest bit, which made the pad of his thumb rub her cheek. It was a miniscule thing, he might have not even noticed it, but Rook definitely did and she had to stop herself from taking a deep breath.

Good God, she felt pathetic.

 

“You look tired, dear Rook.” He murmured, his thumb sweeping over the purple bags under her eye.

“Bad dreams.”

Joseph hummed, before bringing his forehead against hers, his hand on her nape tangled up in her curls. It felt nice. It would have been even better if she could get a hug, because she suddenly felt like she needed to be hugged.

But no.

He was kind and would probably hug her if she asked him, without asking too many questions, that wasn’t the problem. She didn’t trust herself enough to ask him, because even these small touches made her heartbeat speed up and she knew she was not-good to want more, but she couldn’t help it.

She hoarded these quiet moments with him like she was a dragon.

Dragons were always said to be greedy, weren’t they?

 

“Rook?”

She realized that he had been talking to her, and if she was reading his tone right, he had been calling her name a few times already. She looked into his eyes through the shades on him and grunted a bit before she plucked them off and her hand dropped down with those Ray-Bans still in her grip. Joseph blinked once then twice, before there was a wry smile on his face.

“You really don’t like my glasses, do you?”

Rook shrugged, she had liberated those shades enough times that it has to be clear to even an outsider. She put them into her pocket, before she signed.

“Wearing sunglasses inside a house? You weren’t raised in a barn.”

Joseph looked at her, before a snort escaped from him, which made both of them look at each other in surprise. How could a snort be cute? That was a question she would like to know the answer to.

It wasn’t even a good joke or that funny, but Joseph seemed to have devolved into giggle-snorting at the whole thing and Rook had to smile too, mostly at the noises that came from the usually serene preacher. God fucking damn it, how could a grown ass man be so fucking cute?

She was so utterly fucked.

She felt herself starting to imitate a tomato, so it was fortunate that Joseph turned away with one his hands covering his face, trying to get back on track, small snickers still occasionally escaping.

 

By the time he regained his calm, and Rook managed to will down her blush too, Joseph repeated his previous question to her.

“Have you eaten today?”

Rook nodded, fishing out an empty cereal bar package from her back pocket.

And that was a decidedly unamused and unimpressed face he was making.

“That’s all?”

“I wasn’t hungry enough.” Rook raised her hands at the end which caused Joseph to rub his temples. He opened his mouth to say something, before he thought better.

“And are you hungry now?”

She thought about that, feeling her stomach, swaying a bit to and from trying to decide whether she felt hungry or not.

“I could eat…?”

That earned her a small head shake and she was herded out of the study then the house and into the mess hall where Igor was cooking up a storm.

“Igor! Can we bother you for something to eat?”

The large blonde looked down at them, before breaking out into a grin.

“The missus missed lunch, eh? We were waiting for ya, dove, but y’ dinna come.”

Rook signed a quick apology at him, which he waved away while walking to the back of the kitchen.

“Nay, no problem, dove. We put away some for those who weren’t here… Here ya go, one for the missus and one for the Father.” He handed over two trays filled with some hearty soup and thick slices of bread.

“Thank you.” Rook signed and Joseph echoed the sentiment before they sat down side by side on a bench next to a long table. There were a few cultists milling around, they nodded at the two, but left them alone.

 

The smell of the dish before her reminded her of something and she quickly spooned some soup into her mouth, before humming happily. It was similar to the soup her grandmother made a lot of times, not quite the same but close enough. She dunked pieces of bread into the dish, then fished them out with her spoon, happily chowing down, before she realized that there was too much silence coming from her side. She turned toward Joseph, who was looking at her attentively and she froze, spoon dangling from her mouth. Rook raised one eyebrow in question and there was the faintest red sheen on the top of Joseph’s ears.

“Excuse me, Rook, but I haven’t seen you eat like this so far?”

She swallowed the spoonful of bread and soup and thought about how to answer.

“My grandmother made something similar to this on most Sundays.”

He cocked his head to the side, watching her eat. It wasn’t disturbing her too much, he was a bit weird about the whole eating thing, but it was not malicious. Just concerned with making sure that the people around him didn’t go to bed hungry.

“She always cooked enough to feed a small army and it was always something from her home. She hated fast food. It was always a lot of vegetables and spices and she made her own noodles and pickles and pancakes and pies from scratch.”

She signed somewhat wistfully, before she finished her bowl and cleaned it out with some bread. Joseph took the empty bowl from her tray and put his own full one before her. She flashed a smile at him, before grabbing her spoon again.

“Mom was a really bad cook, so it was lucky that Dad learnt enough from Grandmother. So I pretty much grew up on dishes like this.”

She shrugged a bit. Well, that didn’t exactly account for all the times when her parents were happy that they could even afford to buy bread after paying for rent and utilities.

Hunger wasn’t an unfamiliar concept to her that was for sure.

Joseph hummed at that, shredding his bread into smaller chunks and eating that. She hoped he really ate lunch and that was why he gave her his share otherwise she would be rather annoyed with him.

“Are you not hungry?” She asked with a frown.

Joseph looked at her before he finished chewing and swallowed.

“Don’t worry, dear Rook, I ate with Jacob before coming here.”

She squinted at him before she nodded and turned back to eat. She would believe him for now.

“What happened to them… your family?”

She didn’t look up at him and stared into her bowl, her appetite slowly disappearing, but she would be damned if she didn’t finish the food before her.

“They are dead.”

And yeah, she had to admit that the soup suddenly felt like lead in her stomach, and she started to get a bit nauseous. Something must have showed on her face, because Joseph touched the back of her hand for a second.

“You don’t have to speak about it, if you don’t want to.”

Rook shook her head. It was a long time ago, so that shouldn’t exactly be the problem.

“I’m just not hungry anymore, but I don’t want to throw out food.”

Joseph nodded at that, then grabbed the bowl and just went to town on it, with a somewhat resigned expression.

Okay. Just… okay. So that happened. Her eyes probably looked like dinner plates and she couldn’t stop the incredulous smile growing on her face, her elbow on the table, holding her chin in her hand, watching him. She wondered… did they read her file from the Sheriff department? It wouldn’t be very informative, but still.

Joseph finished and dropped his spoon inside with a slight grimace on his face, before smoothing it all away into his usual placid expression.

Rook smiled at him, then Joseph smiled back and they probably looked like idiots to anyone who was watching this scene… like Igor and the others working in the mess hall if their furious whispering meant anything.

Not that Rook cared too much.

Or even realized what was going on behind their backs.

 

Because Joseph’s eyes were a really unfairly pretty shade of blue.

She had realized that several times before, but still… She had to admit once again that there was something mesmerizing about him.

Maybe she didn’t think it through when she took his glasses.

At least those yellow abominations toned down the blues of his eyes, shadowed the expression in them.

 

He wet his chapped lips with a quick dart of his tongue, hesitating before talking.

She couldn’t help but notice that his eyes never left her face.

“Would you like to…”

She never found out what he wanted to ask because there was a sudden commotion outside, someone shouting for the Father. Joseph looked at the door, before looking back at her and she inclined her head with a smile.

There was some indecision in his posture, before he sighed and took a few strides toward the door. Rook packed up the bowls, dropping them into the waiting hands of one of the kitchen hands with a quick thank you signed at them.

Joseph waited for her at the door, completely composed, back to his usual serenity, his left keeping it open that Rook ducked down under and walked out into the Ranch, waving at the cultist still asking for the Father’s location.

 

One of the trucks was back, the cultists were quickly packing away boxes of preserved food, guns and explosives from the back.

 

The boy, because he was just a boy still in his teens, brightened at seeing her and skidded down to stand before the two of them.

“Father! We found some sinners at the house, John took them to the river to cleanse them!”

His brows scrunched and his postured changed enough that Rook was instantly alert, though she wasn’t sure why. John was the Baptist and cleansing was supposed to be the first step in joining the cult… so why did Joseph seem alarmed?

Something didn’t add up, she thought as Joseph quickly walked towards the jeep the boy came in, his hand offered to her when he got the door open.

She shrugged, okay they were going on an adventure and put her hands inside his, letting him help her into one of the seats, before jogging around and climbing into the driver's seat quickly.

He gently held her hand over the gearstick and Rook could feel some faint tension in him as he rubbed her knuckles absentmindedly.

“Who was in that group?” Joseph asked, with a thoughtful hum. “From the Resistance.”

The kid leaned forward from his seat, his eyes stuck on their hands for a second, before he ducked his head with  a smile and answered.

“Some of them died, but Jim Conway, Susie Williams and Nick Rye were alive.”

Well, that didn’t mean much to Rook, though the name Rye brought up some hazy memory. She had heard that name before, she was sure.

Joseph though… she felt him going tense as a bow string.

 

It didn’t take too long for them to arrive to the river, where there was a number of cultists witnessing the cleansing of the trio.

Rook and Joseph climbed out of the car, before Joseph pressed a hand against her shoulder to make her remain next to the car instead. There were some barrels of Bliss around, one overturned into the river and now that Rook could see them, she didn’t really want to get closer, so she nodded at Joseph and planted herself on the front of the car watching everything unfold from a somewhat safer distance.

 

John was oblivious to their arrival, most of his attention was on trying to possibly drown a bearded guy in a drenched plaid shirt, so Joseph’s words hit him like the snap of a whip.

“Do you mock the Cleansing, John?”

There was something terribly guilty in his face and posture as he turned around, his hands still on the guy’s shoulders.

“No Joseph…” He started saying, before the Father shushed him.

“You have to love them, John. Do not let your sin prevent that.”

His brother suitably chastened for the moment, Joseph tilted his head to the side, before continuing.

“Bring him to me, brother.”

John lead the blissed out man to his older brother and consequently to Rook, who sat on the hood of the still warm car.

Joseph touched the man’s shoulder, looking him in the eyes, before he sighed. John winced at that.

“Really, John?” Joseph let go of him, his tone the textbook definition of disappointed and John looked kind of gutted. Yeah, Rook was sure that John’s big brother worship toward Joseph and Joseph’s love toward John made this whole experience incredibly painful to both of them.

“Your preoccupation with trying to one-up Nick Rye has been something of a... distraction lately, John. Tell me brother. What is it that drives you to do that?” And he brought his little brother close to rest their foreheads together.

That might have taken out some of the bite of the chiding words. Maybe. Rook wasn’t sure, John looked still kind of like his whole world was collapsing because Joseph expressed some disappointment in him.

 

She watched as John tried to find some answer to that question, before her eyes wandered over to the guy who was called Nick Rye. His name was still somehow familiar, though she wasn’t sure how.

Rye…

Hm.

Wasn’t there an aviation company or something with that name? Rye and children or something like that.

If one looked at the  hangar attached to the Ranch, the way John slipped away every few days to fly and even the little planes on his coat… jealousy might have been a reason too. Inferiority complex, maybe?

 

She looked over the guy more carefully. Well she guessed that Nick Rye could be called handsome, hm. She didn't really understand why would John feel threatened by that, he was in a completely different league than him. All the Seeds were.

So it might be just the pilot thing.

 

Rye was still completely out of it, he must have gotten a good full dosage of Bliss while John was ‘Cleansing” him.

The two Seeds were still whispering to each other, before Joseph let go of the nape of John and turned around to look at Rook and the jeeps.

She straightened out of her slouch as he walked up to her, reaching up to her face. She ducked her head down, to look him in the eye.

 

“Dear Rook, would you take those three back to the Laurel’s residence?” She nodded before he even finished. He smiled up at her, pushing a curl out of her face. “Please, just somewhere close enough, if you see any sign of the Resistance, just drop them off immediately and come back.”

She touched the back of his hand cradling her face, before she nodded once again.

She had no desire to see what the resistance would think of her driving a cultist jeep, not wearing the cultist things but dropping off a few semi coherent Resistance members.

 

She wasn’t quite sure why Joseph would let them go like this. But he probably had a reason.

Even if it was only John’s sanity remaining somehow intact through everything.

Killing those three after they were Cleansed probably might not have jived particularly well with Joseph, as they were on the way to become part of his flock. Still they were Resistance members. He could have easily sent them to Faith’s or Jacob’s region, but something made him hesitate.

She had the faint inkling that it had something to do with how respected this Rye guy could be in the county. It wasn’t certainly because of the other two, but Rye seemed to be something of a sore spot for John at least.

It would be better for them if he came to them out of his own free will instead of being turned into something of a martyr for the Resistance.

 

Better to make them wonder why the cult let them all walk away.

 

She hopped off the car, sliding down next to Joseph who was still looking at her worried.

Rook hesitated before she walked up to John who still looked deep in thought.

She wasn’t exactly his biggest fan and the feeling was mutual, but it was wrong to see him like this.

So she did something she didn’t do with him before, she grabbed his hand, which caught his attention, making him flex his fingers in surprise, before his head snapped up a bit to look her in the eyes.

Rook offered him a small smile, before taking their joined hands and tapping on his chest a few times, offering a thumbs up with her other hand, before she stepped back. His hand dropped to his side, his face still a bit surprised, but she didn’t care about that anymore.

She had a package to drop.

 

Two of the cultists got the three Resistance members into one of the jeeps, before they themselves got in and she checked the rifle one of the cultists gave her, then slung it across her shoulders.

The door was open for her in the driver’s side and Rook heaved herself up into the driver’s seat, while Joseph was hovering next to the door.

She looked at him, at the way he was almost frowning, his usual serene expression broken by the slightly scrunched eyebrows.

She leaned out of the window, tapping on his shoulder.

“We are going to be okay. We will be back soon and nothing is going to happen to any of us.”

He swallowed twice before he answered, his fingers tight on the metal of the door.

“Drive safely, dear Rook. we will be waiting for you at home.”

She turned on the ignition, and drove away.

 

He looked terrified.

That was her only thought as he got smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

 

Jay on her side turned on the radio, so the opening chords of ‘Oh John’ were playing softly as she drove in the dark, the only light being the headlights of the car.

It was a calm and peaceful night.

 

Right until there was some deer running across the road and she was relieved that they crossed before them a relatively large distance away.

And then she realized that something must have spooked them and looked to the side just in time to see the monster car barrelling down from the woods and she slammed on the brakes amidst the shouting in their car, putting it in reverse to try to get away.

 

Then they got rammed by whoever was driving the truck full throttle and she wanted to scream.

 

She just had to jinx herself, huh?

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Also for every comment, kudo and hit, I'd bake you guys something, but I don't have an oven at the moment, or a kitchen.  
> Also there would be some logistical problems in distribution.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which almost everyone gets hurt a bit AKA Joseph has a headache named after Rook&John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Okay, so I'm still alive. Not sure if anybody would be reading this at all, but things got slightly messy in my personal life in the last few months. Messy enough, that I didn't really have time for anything else just trying to work out all the kinks that kept coming. On the bright side, I finally moved into my new place! Like on this Friday, so a few months later than planned, but all is mostly well. 
> 
> Nevermind the whining, it's not important, hope you guys enjoy the chapter. :)

### CHAPTER 8

_In which Rook has some close encounters (not of the third kind)_

 

Miraculously nobody died in the crash.

 

Rook felt some mild amount of guilt that she wasn't faster on the uptake and didn't brake sooner. That would have got them out of the way a bit more.

 

Then maybe the Resistance woman wouldn't be clutching her broken arm.

Maybe the guys behind her wouldn't have scrapes and/or bruises on every visible stretch of skin.

 

She just... she wasn't quite sure what. She might have hit her head when their truck tail-spinned into the woods and hit a tree. She wasn't sure at all what actually happened but that was a possible effect of head injuries, right?

She might have blacked out for a second or two or just her mind got a bit of a shock and wiped those moments?

 

She should have known that something like this would happen, nothing ever was easy in Hope County.

 

She opened her eyes from the last slowish blink she did, trying to get the blood out of them, before she tried to turn around to check their position then she hissed through her teeth. Oh god, twisting her side hurt so much… why did it hurt so much?

 

Rook looked down at the way the door warped a lot, at the way her completely shattered window was in pieces.

Some shards on the floor, some shards on her seat…

Some shards sticking out from her body.

Oh, okay.

Oh shit?

That’s… a tiny bit alarming.

 

Ideally she would like to check on Jay at her side because he seemed unconscious, but she didn't have the luxury of time right now.

They got pretty tangled up in the trees and whatnot, though they could get out easily as long as she was careful and didn’t try to hurry too much, maybe…

 

Maybe it wasn't quite the best idea to drive with a possible (very probable) concussion and everything else, but if wishes were poppies? She was their best best at the moment to get back to the Ranch.

 

But first.

They needed to dump their cargo.

 

She searched out Michael who would be right at home in a football team line up as an offensive tackle. Usually he was a gentle giant but nothing got him quite as annoyed as his family being hurt.

And well... Eden's Gate was one big family in everything but blood.

 

That was one of the siren calls of their message.

 

Join us, we want you, you don't have to be alone, we'll be your family.

 

Honestly... it was a message that worked really well.

 

So she looked at the big guy, leaned over to check him over for any threatening injuries while she started signing at him hoping that he understood what she wanted.

He blinked twice and shook his head before he grabbed the Resistance members in his unbroken arm and carried them out into the woods one by one as quickly as he could, while Rook tried to get the engine to turn on.

It was kind of a thankless job to be honest and she swore to herself that she would repay him somehow. He hopped back and clapped his hand over her shoulder to let her know that it was just him, and however softly he did, it still hurt like hell. Rook could see him sitting down onto the flatbed of the truck, between his legs and partly in his arms the semi conscious Grant who tried to swat away his hands uncoordinatedly.

Rook spared a glance at Jay, who was still out of it but he was still breathing, then she put the truck in reverse and edged them out of the destruction zone around them.

 

Thankfully lot of the cult's vehicles were good for off-road driving and weren't one of those behemoths that either mowed down trees or got stuck in the foliage.

 

That was probably the reason why the truck that smashed into them didn't really follow them. The acceleration and the collision probably threw them into the trees on the other side of the road which bought them a few minutes to get away.

 

And she intended to make those minutes count.

 

So she prayed and drove slowly edging between the trees, knowing that they were leaving a clear path behind them, but there was nothing they could do about it at the moment. The way back probably had the Resistance waiting for them, so they had to get through the forest instead, until they got on a road.

 

Meanwhile she couldn't get stuck.

 

Getting stuck would be one of the worst things that could happen to them right then.

Thankfully this place was supposed to be under cultist control, so they were probably okay as long as those Resistance members didn't actually try to pursue them.

 

Maybe they would leave with their returned members?

Hopefully.

 

She had no illusions that they could fight them on a relatively even ground. That truck probably protected them enough, while they were down to the two of them and neither her nor Michael were in a tip top shape.

It would be suicidal to try to fight them so giving up, and hoping for the best that they may be spared is the last resort.

 

She was not going to wave a fucking white flag when they actually brought back a few of theirs. She couldn't do that to Jay, to Michael, to Grant, they were clearly of the cult and the Resistance had this rather pesky quality that they shot at everything that was wearing the cultist jumper. Or anything that looked like a cultist.

 

Shoot first and maybe ask questions later. Or not at all.

 

The point in all that is that she, by herself, could get the fuck away. Maybe she could just jump out of the car and hide, try to handle her injury or something on the go.

 

However that would mean sentencing the boys instantly to their deaths.

 

And lately she found that she wasn't quite okay with that.

 

She liked them, okay? It took her some time to realize and to actually admit it, maybe she wasn’t quite in tune with her own feelings to not realize so long that she started to care about some of the Eden’s Gate members, but she finally got that revelation even if it came hurling down the hillside crashing into them with like 50 miles per hour, but she got there. That counts for something.

 

They could just ditch the cult uniform though, and run like that, but how long? It was not feasible with two unconscious people and one who was probably concussed. And she didn't know how hurt was Michael, he could not carry two grown men by himself with only one working arm and Rook felt nausea pool in her gut. She was in no shape to walk anywhere.

 

She tried to ignore that would also mean, that she wasn’t in any shape to drive anywhere. But beggars can’t be choosers.

 

She swallowed a few times, blinking fast to clear out her vision again and again.

 

She didn't even notice when the radio started crackling first and someone asked them for status updates.

When she finally noticed it she grabbed the receiver tried to figure out what the fuck she could do with it before she reached back and tried to drop it over Michael's shoulder.

 

She heard him scramble a bit, the rubber ring scratching out almost completely into a straight line.

Rook tried to listen to what he was saying, hoping that he didn't give away their position, though she wasn't exactly sure where they actually were, but he was probably more familiar with the terrain, because whoever was on the exact same frequency could probably hear them.

Soon enough her complete focus had to turn back to maneuvering in the forest, leaning more and more onto the wheel to see.

 

The cut on her head didn't really stop bleeding so she had to periodically wipe away the blood that dripped down her face. Head wounds sure bled a lot. It probably didn’t help too that she was grimacing and squinting almost constantly and splitting open the cut again and again. She probably looked like a fright. They all did.

 

There was a light tap on her shoulder and she reached back blindly just to get the receiver dropped into her open palm. There were voices coming from it, but she couldn't focus on them.

 

She had to keep all her attention on driving before she accidentally crashed them against one of the trees which were real and not just the product of her mind with her confused state and developing double vision.

 

She didn't know how long she had been driving, when she saw a break in the treeline.

She got them right on the edge to look down and yeah. That was a bit of a drop. Not exactly a problem for the car, but it would be very uncomfortable and possibly even dangerous to them.

 

They probably should follow the tree line and maybe the elevation would decrease enough. Though if that didn't happen in this area, they could try try strapping in everyone as much as they could and just go for it now.

 

She needed to know where they were and frankly, she had no idea. She wasn’t that familiar with the landmarks around the Valley.

 

She put the car into idling and reached back to Michael, maybe he could figure it out. Her hand found itself in his hair, ruffling it.

 

Michael grunted then she heard shifting around and the grumbled protesting of Grant, before there was a huff of breath next to her head.

"... we are close to the Lamb of God church… I’m not quite sure… Rook?"

She definitely noticed when someone called her name and she looked back at big guy questioningly.

She did miss some parts of the conversation, but if he was asking whether she knew where they were, then they were in deep shit. She absolutely had no idea and she started driving down slowly to get off the elevation.

Some more of the same conversation that she didn’t pay any attention to and they were down on the paved road with only a little bump.

 

There was a light tap on her shoulder once again and a muscled arm pointed to the right.

"That way. We shouldn't get close to the church... There is a sinner sniper hiding there."

Rook didn't nod, her head would have hurt from the movement, but she turned right at the next possible intersection.

"We will have to go through some smaller roads, but when we get to the main, we will have back up waiting for us somewhere."

 

Rook just drove in silence carefully, occasionally turning left or right depending on what Michael told her. The whole route was pretty much a blur to her, both her and the big guy were tense, waiting for another ambush from the dark that thankfully didn't come.

 

Suddenly they were on a main road and she had to squint, because there were some highlights blaring into her eyes, which really didn't help her headache. When she realized that there was an Eden's Gate roadblock behind those headlights she slammed on the brakes, the sudden stop causing a sharp stab of pain in her body, making her scramble for the door as much as she could.

 

And with it open, she leaned out and unceremoniously dumped her stomach's entire content on the ground, gagging again and again at the acidic taste in her mouth, watching as blood dripped from her chin into the puddle with some detachment.

 

The bleeding should have stopped by that time. She would probably need stitches, the gash had to be somewhat deep for it to still bleed like that.

 

There were footsteps coming towards them quickly and she heard Michael grunt as he tried to carry Grant down, who from the noises was vehemently protesting to being carried like that.

 

Rook wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, wishing for some water or even better, some mouthwash to rinse out the taste, before there were familiar hands on her face and a worried voice in her ears, asking something.

 

Her head lolled a bit down, resting against a shirt clad shoulder, heaving a sigh at the cool material on her skin.

Her first thought was that she hoped he didn't get her vomit on his clothes, not with the way he was kneeling before her.

 

Second thought was that she hoped he had more than a few white shirts because she just wiped her bloody face on it, and unless he got it immediately in cold water, it would be a lost cause. Getting out blood completely from clothing was kind of impossible once the blood dried, she knew this, like most women knew that fact intimately by the time their monthly became a regular thing.

 

There was a badly muffled grunt of worry, before the quiet murmuring picked up in speed.

"Darling Rook. Rook, dear Rook, please, let me see your face, lift your head just a little bit, sweetheart."

 

Oh, she hadn’t been called that for a long time.

She did it, she raised her head, and looked into his dark eyes, only a flash of blue visible in the dark lit up by those reflectors.

 

His hands were gentle on her face while he checked her pupils with a small flashlight. His hum didn’t sound too happy so she guessed that her estimation of a possible concussion was right on the spot. And then she got front row seats to the way his face paled when he found some of the glass shards still halfway inside her side while he was gently patting her down to check for injuries.

 

Joseph squeezed her hand before taking a visible swallow. He got even paler, when Rook smiled at him softly, especially when she raised her hand and gently patted his head, before she slumped back against his shoulders once again.

 

It was at the ideal height to rest her forehead for a little while.

Just a little bit and that was the only reason why she picked that spot.

It’s not that she felt that bad.

Maybe, she just felt a tiny bit tired.

 

And everything hurt still.

 

It was starting to get kind of annoying to be honest.

 

Joseph’s hand fluttered at her sides, and she tuned back in to hear him mumble somewhat frantically. “Rook, Rook! Sweetheart, listen to me, I’m going to pick you up, I need you to stay awake! Do you hear me, Rook?”

 

She nodded at him, which was more like rubbing her face into his dirtied shirt a bit more.

 

She guessed that he either felt her answer or got fed up with waiting for an answer because she felt his hands go slack with indecision for a few minutes before she got gently maneuvered into his arms.

 

And either Joseph suddenly spouted two more hands or someone else got handsy with her, and she tried to uncoordinatedly swap away the hand from her ass, though it probably went off a mile wide.

 

Her head lolled back a bit and she watched as Jay was carried out from the car too, while Grant swore at anyone who tried to stop him from hobbling his way to one of the trucks, with Michael hovering over him with his left arm still looking completely fucked up.

 

Someone tucked her head into Joseph’s neck.

It was probably not her, because she started to feel a bit detached from her body, and it probably wasn’t Joseph because she did feel his arms flex under her weight.

 

Maybe he really did have four arms?

 

Hm.

 

Nah, she would have noticed when he was shirtless.

Which she hasn’t seen in a while and she was starting to miss it.

He looked hot, okay, she liked looking at hot things even if she could not touch.

Not that she didn’t touch him, but she was not in complete control of herself, so that time didn’t count and he was forgiving and she wasn’t a molesting monster.

She would still go to hell, because she was a sinner, but she would see a lot of familiar faces down there probably.

 

Oh, and there was the car.

 

Someone opened up the door to the backseat and there was some shuffling around as the logistics were worked out.

 

The way she could feel Joseph’s hand flexing on her body, she was sure that he wouldn’t give her up to anyone else right now, which was okay in her books.

Though she distantly felt a bit worried, because this was a bit strange behavior from the normally unflappable man she knew him as. This experience had been really strange so far, starting from the way he sent her off at the river, there was something that felt familiar about the whole thing, but she couldn’t figure out what. It was on the tip off her tongue, but she couldn’t get it out.

 

Eventually, Joseph got into the car, with her half in his lap, her lower half in someone else’s, being kept steady. Not that she felt like moving when every shift was like glass shards dragging over the meat of her body…

Well, that was actually the thing, the glass shard had some smaller shards probably around it and they rubbed deeper or something. Pieces of glass shifting and moving around.

 

It was not the most pleasant thing to experience to be honest and she really didn’t want to think about it, before she started visualizing it and started dry heaving again.

 

It felt strange to not have Joseph in the driver’s seat. Every time she had seen him in a car, he was always the one driving.

She thought it was some kind of control thing, but maybe that wasn’t completely it. Sure, there was some aspect about control in it, but it wasn’t an obsession about controlling everything. But it was definitely a preference for driving a vehicle over being chauffeured around and it had some connection with…

 

There was a sudden jolt as the truck started moving, making her lose her thought at the spike of pain as her body got jarred. She felt herself go tense, gritting her teeth against it all, sweat beading on her forehead.

Now that she finally was a bit more safe, she let her situational awareness fade away a bit more intentionally and with that came a bit more alertness about her injuries. Including more pain and more general symptoms like dizziness, nausea and exhaustion.

 

Weakness.

She was weak.

She was so fucking weak.

 

She was so deep within those feelings, scrambling, trying to find anything that could take her mind off them, that she didn’t even notice the hand gently carding through her hair and the soft humming at first.

It was Joseph’s voice and Joseph’s fingers carefully avoiding the broken skin on her scalp.

 

She wanted to thank him, but her fingers felt like stubs of cold butter and she had to be content with just squeezing one of his knees a bit. He stopped for a second or two, before he resumed and started to softly sing something.

 

It was nice.

He was warm. His voice was calming. His fingers felt good in her hair.

 

Rook started drifting off… which might not have been the best idea, but there was nothing she could do to stop it.

~~~

 

_“Least of all they definitely have concussions... a scan…”_

_“... there might be some bleeding... brains…”_

_“Still unconscious…”_

_“... needs transfusions, lost a lot of blood…”_

_“... several shards… we didn’t try to remove them…”_

_“Open break…”_

_“... bring them to… Gate will be open…”_

_“Joseph… brother, everything is going to be alright…”_

_“... will be definitely waiting for you…”_

~~~

 

The following of Rook’s somewhat awake moments were kind of painful.

 

She got jolted awake from her slight doze when she was shuffled out from the truck and they were somewhere close to the mountains, somewhere far away from most settlements.

There was a concrete building she could see, and a lot of reflectors lighting up the entire place, which was filled with cultists running around, closing ranks around them.

 

Joseph strode toward the building and she realized that it was probably one of their bunkers. She looked forward and saw someone approaching them through somewhat blurry eyes. Joseph might be wearing a fair amount of her blood on his clothes at that point, she wasn’t sure how much.

 

“Joseph!”

That same someone shouted.

 

She might have missed the next few minutes, because next time she was aware they were all going down stairs after stairs, deeper and deeper into the ground.

It was kind of mind numbingly repetitive and she didn’t even notice the pain that much anymore.

It all started blurring together.

 

She eventually looked around and they were in a white room, meaning her and Joseph whose hand she was either clutching or crushing in her grip, as someone leaned over her side and dragged out shards after shards.

 

She noted that the big ones were still inside, though there was a flurry of activity to the left and some people in white coats washing up, so that wouldn’t be the case for too long.

She concentrated on the humming coming from her right and she then she was drugged up with something.

 

Who was she even kidding?

 

Knowing the damn cult, it was 100% sure that it was some kind of Bliss.

Damn this stuff was strong, and that was her last thought before she went off to frolic in lalaland again.

~~~

 

She woke up in a bed.

 

It wasn’t like her bed on the Ranch, there were no soft pillows or warm throws, just the smell of antiseptic and that utilitarian cleanness everywhere.

Definitely a hospital or whatever a medical unit was called in a cultist bunker.

 

And it was a bunker for sure and from the size and what she remembered from the night before, it was probably one of Eden’s Gates’.

 

Also she was seeing everything through a slight greenish haze and shit has this glowy quality with the occasional flashes of blue and red at their peripheries. Not that bad actually, not much nausea and she didn’t feel that out of her mind, so the dosage or the type of Bliss she was on was more agreeable with her than the usual stuff.

 

She awkwardly scrambled up into a sitting pose on her bed, checking the room for anyone else awake. There was Jay sleeping in one of the beds hooked up to a few machines, but there was no one else conscious. She wiggled around a bit, feeling a draft from her back.

Ugly hospital gown that opened at the back? Check.

She pushed down the blanket, grabbed the end of her gown and pulled it up, to check on her legs.

Bandages and stitches over cuts that looked a bit healed already? Check.

She wiggled her toes a few times just to be sure.

All in working order.

 

Welcome to the Bliss.

 

She had an IV going into her left arm, which was fair, she wasn’t about to be an idiot and yank it out or something. This feeling while it was strange, it was certainly preferable to being in pain and barely functional.

 

She just had to be careful not to do anything too strenuous, because the fact that she wasn’t in pain probably didn’t mean that she was completely healed.

Everything was just covered up.

Maybe.

Bliss was good, but the way those injuries looked she should still be in a somewhat large amount of pain and soreness.

 

There were some plastic slippers on the ground next to her bed and she managed to mush her feet into them after a few minutes of fucking up. Those slippers were some really slippery bastards.

 

Rook grabbed the IV and used it as a prop as she stood up, swaying a bit in place, before grabbing the wheelie stand and just toddling around with her other hand trying keep the gown closed at her back.

There was a large button up sweater on one of the chairs and she made it her next target. The IV had a long enough drip, maybe she could get the sweater on. Even just wearing it on half of her body would be good.

 

She wrestled with the brown knit a bit before she got her left arm through it too. It looked comically large on her, but it was warm and covered her back. So hopefully no more flashing people.

 

She grabbed the IV stand once again and shuffled over to Jay, looked at him, there might be a folder or something at the end of the bed, but she didn’t want to take her chances with trying to read some small print.

Or to try to decipher whatever the doctor wrote down, because even from this distance she could see that it was not something printed, but rather handwritten. And every medical professional she knew had some kind of god awful handwriting so far.

 

She didn’t know, it was just a stereotype in all likelihood, and there were probably a lot of doctors who wrote with the most legible and beautiful handwriting.

She just hadn’t met any of them yet.

 

Well, most people she met so far, had ugly or barely legible handwriting and they weren’t in the medical field, so it might be just a stereotype.

 

She shuffled to the door and looked around once again, but there was no one springing out at her screaming that she should not leave the place and it was kind of boring. There was nothing she could do in there, and even the swirly air wasn’t interesting enough to hold her attention.

 

And the glittering butterflies led her to the door and she wasn’t about to say no to following some pretty butterflies.

 

So she shuffled out into a corridor and there was no one there either which was starting to be strange, but she pinched herself a bit and no, she wasn’t dreaming.

 

Maybe it was night time or something.

Or they had a mass or a sermon or whatever it was called.

Or they were eating dinner.

Or there was an emergency.

Or she was hallucinating pretty badly right now and she was actually surrounded by people. Can you hallucinate all people away?

She didn’t know whether that was actually possible or not.

 

Okay, so there were a lot of things that could have caused that there were literally no one in the medical wing(?) of this place.

 

She followed the butterflies across the corridors, even when they just disappeared through a wall. Usually she could find a door close enough to follow them into a room and she couldn’t help, but notice that she found herself in something of a service tunnel.

The ground was still good enough for her to wheel her drip, but things started to get this slightly nightmarish quality, with long shadows and ominous dripping breaking the silence.

Maybe following them hadn’t been such a good idea…

 

She hoped that she would eventually find a way out or someone would find her.

 

There were two eyes looking at her from the shadows. They looked like miniature reflectors and Rook cocked her head to the side.

The eyes repeated the move.

 

She knew eyes like those.

Peaches had eyes like those.

Then another similar pair looked at her and she gasped.

Kitties!

Well. She hoped they were kitties and they weren’t raccoons.

Or rats.

Or that it was something similar to what happened in Faith’s region with all those switching animals.

Maybe her brain was making a mess of things and indulging her by showing some cats?

 

There was something with soft fur twining around her legs and she looked down in the weak light and if that wasn’t the most beautiful little cat she had ever seen then she would jump out a window right then and there. Though how would she find a window in the middle of the underground, that was a very good question.

That little furry face just rubbed against her shin and there were actual tears in her eyes when she leaned down to gather the little fellow up almost managing to upset the stand she was hooked up to.

 

Now armed with a purring feline and some kitty cat escorts, the whole corridor didn’t seem so scary anymore. Maybe it was just her brain trying to make her feel better, but she still felt blessed.

 

She walked into a room and there was something up on the ceiling which made her freeze up. For a second she thought it was one of those mannequins, but no they burned them all.

Nevertheless…

Whatever that corpse like thing was, it was stuffed, and she had to squint at that, while burying her head into the still purring cat’s fur a bit, with white flowers and wires and antlers? She wasn’t sure, it looked trippy as hell, but she felt some detachment at seeing the scene.

 

Yellow light, instead of the clinical and cold lighting they had away in other parts she had seen through the greenish haze which was kind of absent here. Glowing particles were still in the air, but everything had this reddish quality to them.

 

Everything looked like she was in a completely different place. She checked the bag of her stand but it was still steadily dripping, it wasn’t empty.

 

_**Know your purpose.** _

__

_**Say YES.** _

 

Buckets and saws and skulls and metal instruments littered the surfaces of the tables.

 

There was a faint rotting smell under the sweet scent of flowers, maybe the possible corpse or the flowers themselves.

 

She didn’t want to get close enough to check whether it was actually like one of those mannequins or not. She felt eyes on her and a sleek black cat sauntered over to a partition next to the metal grate on the walls.

 

She shrugged, one hand curled around the cat, other hand wheeling the stand and stopping occasionally to lift it from the ground when there were some cables in the way.

 

There were muffled sounds coming from somewhere deeper and she hesitated before following the cat again. It was like someone was trying to shout now that they heard the racket she was making along the way.

 

Rook turned along the corridor and had to blink a few times.

 

Everything was so red, the whole room looked like an oven though it wasn’t warm in there. The temperature was just a touch on the cooler side.

 

And there was someone strapped to a chair, with duct tape over their mouth. Braided hair, somewhat familiar uniform, completely destroyed makeup.

Deputy Hudson looked kind of like she went through hell.

 

She didn’t actually have any bruises that Rook could see, she wasn’t missing fingernails or fingers, but that didn’t mean anything, so Rook wandered over to her. Her eyes were wide and frantic and Rook let go of her IV and grabbed the silver tape across her lips.

Hudson quietened and squeezed her eyes shut and Rook yanked it off with one pull.

If Hudson had any kind of facial hair however thin it was, it would be gone.

 

The tape fluttered down to the ground, Rook propped herself up against her drip once again and looked down at the bound woman before her who was wheezing through chapped lips.

 

“Rookie? How… why are you here? What happened…?” She asked before she shook her head. “Nevermind, release me we have to get out before he comes back!”

Rook just stood there trying to decide what to do, while Hudson started turning more and more frantic, railing against her bonds.

“Get me the fuck out of these Rookie!”

She started trashing a lot, eyes wild and Rook took a step back instinctively, then two in fear that Hudson would knock her over.

 

She backed away from the woman who started taking on a more bestial shape in her drug addled mind, before she bumped into something. Something breathing which smelt familiar and she definitely noticed when the noises Hudson was making suddenly cut off. The warmth at her back moved along her side with a soft brush against her middle and suddenly there was John swaggering towards the silent form of Hudson.

 

“Tch, tch, tch. Making such a loud racket, Deputy Hudson? Such words are definitely not worthy of a venerated peacekeeper from the Sheriff’s Department, surely!” He went to the table on the side.

 

Deputy Hudson seemed to shake off whatever she felt that made her stop talking and watch John so carefully. “You sick fuck, what did you do to the Rookie?!”

 

John swung back to look at Rook, who looked back at him with one eyebrow raised.

“We have saved her life.” He cocked his head to the side with a slight smile on his face. “ Do you have a problem with that, Deputy Hudson?”

 

That answer made Hudson start to struggle again. “You fucking sick fucks! All of you are fucking degenerates!!!”

 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Deputy Hudson. Your list of sins just keeps growing and growing…” And that made Hudson’s hackles raise and to be honest if John aimed that tone and that tut-tut-ing toward Rook, she would be ready to murder him too.

“What do you think, Rook, should we give some time for Deputy Hudson to cool down? She is certainly rather foul-mouthed today.”

 

Rook shrugged in her corner, trying to keep her sweater closed, because the cooler air was seeping into her bones and she abruptly realized that she was only wearing a hospital gown and slippers.

Watchful blue eyes looked her over, before John sighed and offered an arm to her.

“Come sister, you should be in bed still…”

Rook didn’t hesitate in going to him.

 

While John was as terrifying as any of the Seeds, she didn’t think that he would attempt to harm her seriously. She wasn’t scared of him, she might be a bit wary about his mercurial moods, but she definitely didn’t fear him.

Maybe she should.

Maybe she should fear all of them.

 

John took her hand and she was tucked into his side.

“You see, Deputy Hudson? Our sister... is here on her own decision. Maybe you should rethink some of your choices too.”

John turned them around and started walking out of the creepy room, when Hudson started shouting again.

 

“Did you drug her? Is that the only way you can even get it up anymore?”

A tick in John’s eyebrows and Rook looked at him clenching his jaw.

“I’m sorry Rook, I forgot something. Will you wait here for a second?” and he didn’t wait for an answer just strode out from the room, made some noises and came back with a thick roll of silver duct tape.

~~~

 

Back in the infirmary, Rook got swamped with the doctors in the bunker harping at her about disappearing and Rook bore it with some ill grace. They were right, she shouldn’t have gone off gallivanting into the unknown bunker, bur she was not a child.

She was an adult woman… who was high as a kite.

 

John, certainly seemed to enjoy her misery though.

 

So Rook and Rook’s inner 3-year-old decided that she will somehow wipe off that damn smirk off of his face. Starting with just staring at him without blinking. It wasn’t that hard to do, the planes on his damn coat seemed to move around a bit.

 

It certainly made him more and more alarmed. Especially when she couldn’t stop her answering grin from forming on her face and he started to look around. But no. Her probably demented smile and unwavering gaze was firmly fixed on him and she could see that it started to worry him.

 

Good.

 

They unwound the bandages around her head and it felt freeing. Oddly airy. She could feel them poking at the wound, hemming and hawing about the stitches.

 

Why did the whole thing feel so strange?

Rook tried to reach up and check for herself, when John was suddenly at her side, holding her arm down.

 

She stared down at the offending limb.

Then back at John.

Then down at his hands wrapped around her wrist.

 

No, she was not hallucinating, she could smell his cologne, feel the heat of his palms and see that he was holding down her arms.

So… no, definitely not hallucinating.

 

“Doctor Jian? Does she have some kind of… brain damage?” Came the hesitant voice next to her, in near whisper.

The doctor looked away from her head wound, which he was dabbing with some kind of nasty smelling cotton puff. She could smell the sharp scent of medicine mixing around with John's cologne and it was a bit nauseating.

“Probably not, though we can’t be sure until she is off the Bliss. Why do you ask?”

Yes, why do you ask, Rook thought too, and smiled up at him again like the creepy motherfucker she could be when she put her mind to it. The doctor grunted at her shifting, barked at her once to stay still, before he continued messing around.

 

“She is just acting a bit stranger than usual.”

A sigh from behind her and Rook clenched her fingers in the cotton of the sweater in her lap. She didn’t exactly like having someone she didn’t know at her naked back even if that someone was a medical professional.

 

There was a small pat on her shoulders as the doctor finished whatever he was doing and left the two of them alone. She stared down at the hand still wrapped around her wrist, before she raised it, along with John’s somehow slack grip.

He was deep in thought or something and he didn’t even notice, so she tried to shake him off.

 

He definitely noticed that and his hand dropped from hers immediately, like she had the plague.

 

Rook used her sudden freedom to snap her hand up, before John’s shot out again and failed to stop her from touching her head.

 

She found warm skin only.

 

Rook tried to shoo John away with one hand while she tapped her bald head with her other.

There was some stubble scratching her fingers, but nothing more. She was quite confused for a few minutes, just touching her head all over, John’s reaching hand damned.

 

She used to have hair, right?

Yes, she definitely had hair before… Why didn’t she have hair anymore?

 

Rook looked up at John, unsure what her face was doing but it made him look a bit panicked.

“Rook?”

He managed to grab her hand, while massaging his temples with the other. Rook thought it was just an excuse so he didn’t have to look at her any longer.

“They had to shave your head to get the stitching in.”

Oh, that made sense.

 

Her hand dropped down and she was back to fingering the sweater silently.

John certainly sighed a lot that day, because he did it again and then suddenly the sweater was gone from her hands and settled around her shoulders with an awkward pat.

The mattress jumped a bit and there was some rustling as John settled down beside her.

Well, not beside-beside her, a generous distance away but still on the same hospital bed.

 

They sat in silence for a while, only the gentle beeping of Jay’s monitors and the steady dripping of her every present IV broke it.

Rook thought about what she saw deep in John’s bunker, the butterflies, the cats, the strange room, the hung up corpse and the whole meeting with Hudson.

John calling her sister?

She eyed the half filled bag of clear greenish fluid. Well, it seemed kind of fantastic and she wondered how much of it was actually real.

Probably not a lot.

 

Though seeing some of John through her own eyes, could she believe him capable of what… torturing Hudson? Having his own torture chamber?

 

Well. Thinking about it for a few minutes…

Yes. She could. She absolutely could.

 

He had a certain viciousness to him under that charming face.

And as she thought before… All Seeds had their own brand of terrifying.

Combining that with John's tantrums, his rages… she could believe many things about him.

 

Did that make her want to run away?

She thought about it for a second, but no.

She still wasn’t sacred and she couldn’t pretend to be a good enough person to believe that it bothered her that much.

She was too much of a jaded woman for that.

 

As long as John turned his viciousness away from those she liked or loved… as long as he was able to control himself… she didn’t care.

 

Though she had one question she kind of wanted to ask from him and she didn’t even think about it before she formed the words with her hands.

“Do you kick puppies too?”

 

“Uh, no? I’m not an animal.” He blurted out with a grimace on his face, before it melted away into shock.

Rook looked at him surprised, before she realized what happened.

 

What had been happening in the last few weeks, since she had arrived into Holland’s Valley.

All the days of miming things, of frantically searching for pen and paper, of keeping her silent?

 

The fucker knew sign language.

The fucking little shit knew ASL all this time.

 

Joseph would have to get used to only having one brother, because God is her witness, that she was going to fucking murder the fucking smarmy bastard.

 

The IV clattered to the ground loudly and they went down snarling.

~~~

 

“What in God’s name happened here?!”

She... hadn’t knew that Joseph’s voice could go into that register.

 

Rook looked up from glaring at the bed opposite of hers, from _her_ bed which she was tied down to. John looked up from _his_ bed with one eye swollen shut from the black eye she managed to inflict on him, his skin being sewn shut by one of the doctors.

Rook managed to mess up his composed self quite a bit before she was dragged off by some of the cultists who heard the commotion they made.

 

It wasn’t a fair fight at all, what with her being a trained soldier and him being a lawyer. It wasn’t fair at all, but she was past the point of caring about technicalities like that during those minutes.

 

And it wasn’t like John made it easy, he tried to give as good as he could, and they both knew that most of the damage to her was made by her wounds tearing and her drip being ripped out of her skin. They both knew that John was no match for her in physical terms 90% of the time.

 

She knew that she could have easily killed him several times.

Like when she had him in a stranglehold with the line of her IV.

Or when she could have stabbed him somewhere with the still bloody needle.

Or when she could have grabbed the metal tray they had managed to upend over them.

 

But she didn’t actually do that. She still restrained herself, because he was a civilian and she really wasn’t.

 

She remembered that time when her squad was in a bar, out of uniform and some guy tried to start something of a fight, not realizing that he was picking on the Krav Maga instructor of the entire camp sitting outside of the small town.

 

That was one experience that she would never forget, but nevermind, because Joseph walked up into the middle of the room, looking at her, looking at John, before he rubbed his forehead.

“John?” he looked at his little brother who kept his mouth shut, the picture of a sullen kid.

Then he looked at her.

“Rook?”

She continued glaring at John, tapping at the white bars of her bed with her tied hand, a mess of bruises marking her elbow. The IV was back too, now in her other arm.

 

Joseph mumbled something under his breath, which neither she nor John was privy to, but from the tone and his expression it was nothing complimentary.

“Why is that… that I step out for a few hours and come back to the two of you trying to murder each other? In what world is this acceptable, to brawl like common thugs in the infirmary while scaring our flock half to death?!”

 

Uh-oh.

“You are a Herald, John! You are supposed to lead, to show the way to the faithful, to help them stay pure, not… roll around on the floor with someone who should still be on bed rest!” He whipped around to stare at Rook. “And don’t get me started on you, Rook! What on Earth possessed you to run around trying to strangle my brother, while still bleeding after spending the last week unconscious?!”

Oh no, the face of Total Disappointment. It was very effective and Rook dropped her eyes to the white sheets.

 

“I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. In both of you.” She heard a small noise from John that sounded suspiciously like a barely audible whine. She could also feel Joseph’s eyes burn a hole through her head, but she didn’t want to look up at him again. “Is there anything either of you would like to say?”

Both of them stayed silent, their bodies rigid.

 

“Of all the stubborn, mulish…” And all other things he said got lost in his frustration. “Fine!”

At that he turned around and strode to the door, opening it up and ordering everyone out before he looked back at the two of them.

“The two of you will discuss this and you will come to an agreement or God help me…”

And the door was slammed behind him and they were left alone in the infirmary. Or mostly alone, because Jay was still sleeping in one of the beds.

 

John sat on his bed with his head in his hands. Rook sat up and started working on the knot that tied her down.

There was no chance in hell that she would just stay there in the bed. She had some shit to do, she had a bone to pick with John and he had some explaining to do.

After that she had some decisions to make because she had no actual reason for bearing with the fucker if they couldn’t work this out somehow.

 

It would be easier to just leave the region and don’t look behind and she didn’t know why the hell was she even trying anymore.

Did her crush on Joseph influence her so much, that she would be willing to give another chance to his little brother?

She looked deep into herself while her fingers worked on the knot and yes. She figured that yes, she liked Joseph enough that she was willing to listen one more time to John.

 

Though what they could do?

She wasn’t sure that their problem could be solved with talking like adults. Not that her impulsive murdery reaction had any place between two normal adults, or any of their interactions almost during the last few weeks.

 

Both of them were messes she couldn’t deny that and she didn’t want to.

 

Shedding the rope with which she was bound, she approached John’s bed with the IV stand trailing behind her. John still had his face in his hands, not reacting to the sound of her approaching and she felt so fucking tired of everything.

 

Rook just pushed him back a bit before she plopped down next to him. That made him finally look up and Rook wasted no time with beating around the bush.

“You are a dick. I’m not sure I hate you, but I do dislike you and I’m furious that you knew sign language all this time and said nothing.” She didn’t let him answer, just bulldozed her way through when she saw him open his mouth. “I don’t understand what is your problem with me, but I have my suspicions. So why?”

She could see that he was nervous in his one big blue eye, Rook scratched at the purpling finger shaped bruises on her own neck absently.

If one looked at them closely, then at John’s hands they would see that the marks matched his fingers. Same with the bruises on his neck.

 

His expression was open for a second or two, before a shutter seemed to come down on his face. Not exactly his whole face, because Rook has found that his eyes were still expressive enough. He was a lawyer he probably knew how to mask the emotions in his eyes and he probably had one hell of a poker face. Still, it was promising that he didn’t completely hide before her.

 

Or for all she knew it was calculated exactly just to make her trust him a bit more. She wasn’t sure, John was a rather good actor, he could appear whatever he wanted to be at the drop of the hat.

But, she couldn’t constantly spend all her time with second guessing his every move, that would be utterly pointless and exhausting. The only thing she could do was watch him for small things that seemed to slip through his facade and to take every action with just a grain of salt.

 

She was perceptive, but she wasn’t sure even perception could help her with trying to decide what was real about John and what wasn’t.

 

She wasn’t omnipotent.

 

“I… I don’t trust you. You are a wild card and for some reason you are in an incredible position where you have the capacity to hurt the Project. It’s my job to make sinners confess and you are a sinner through and through… and you are still not really one of us.”

Fair enough, Rook thought.

“You have been given an opportunity, you have been given a choice and you have been given more time to decide than most and you are still on the edge. You have not made a commitment and while Joseph believes in you, believes that it’s part of God’s plan… I think you are just a sinner like all the others.”

Once again, that was probably true too.

 

But there was one thing, that Rook couldn’t ignore. “It’s not your place.”

 

John’s eyes bore into hers, his lips barely parted. “What?”

 

Rook looked back at him, before giving a light shrug and continuing.

“It’s not your place to decide what am I. It’s not your place to decide my place in all this.”

She had the urge to stare at the room around them, but it was imperative that John understood what she was getting at. They would probably never be best friends and Rook didn’t even knew if she wanted anything better than neutrality between the two of them.

“I’m not here because of you, you are not here for me. But we are both here because of your brother.”

John had a pinched expression on his face, but he couldn’t really disagree.

“We are both adults. We don’t have any reason to continue to play nice with each other. We tried it, it didn’t work.” She shrugged, she had no desire to remain in the region anymore. Even Jacob’s territory would be okay in her books at this point and if all else failed she could always go back to Faith’s. “So you want me gone from the Valley? Good, I’m leaving as soon as I can move.”

Rook looked into blue eyes, or at least one blue eye as she signed her last words.

“Do you have anything to add?”

John opened his mouth a few times, then pouted before he ground out a resounding “No.”

 

Rook nodded, smiled at him a giant fake grin, then grabbed her stand and wobbled back to her bed before climbing back on it.

She was fucking tired of everything and the moment she was cleared to go, she would leave this place.

 

Fuck John Seed with a rubber duck, she was done.

~~~

 

Half and hour later someone came into the almost empty room, where all three patients were back on their beds, sleeping or pretending to be sleeping.

 

Namely, Jay was asleep while John and Rook pretended to be asleep, so they didn’t have to acknowledge each other.

Maybe Joseph would be disappointed in both of them, but frankly?

Sometimes things didn’t work out and no amount of forcing the issue would help with it.

 

One day in the future they might get over their little arguments and become BFFs, but today was not that day. To be honest, Rook knew that she could bend a bit more if she wanted to, but there was the problem. She didn’t want to bend for John Seed anymore.

It would be just her allowing him more and more leeway.

And both of them were stubborn enough and broken enough that doing that would cause just the problems to fester between the two of them.

 

She also knew that John didn’t hate her. As she said before, she didn’t hate John either.

It might have been mutual dislike, it might have been petty jealousy, it might have been John’s brother complex toward Joseph, it might have been her crush toward his brother, it might have been her somewhat strange circumstances and standing in the cult, it might have been both of their past experiences up until that point.

It was probably all those and some other things too.

 

It was clearly not going to be solved by forcing the two of them to spend days, weeks together at this time. Knowing her own bullheaded nature in some things, it would just breed more resentment between them.

 

Better if she just left the Valley and they both only had small doses of each other.

 

So when the doctor got in like he was walking in front of the firing squad, Rook was ready to leave at the second she was good to walk out the bunker.

 

She thought about Hudson and what she had seen. Or might have seen as once again she wasn’t sure what was real and what she could have just hallucinated under the meds she still had pumping in her veins.

 

To be honest, the best thing would be to alert Joseph about the possibility.

 

If John really had a hidden torture room, his brother should be informed about the possibility, especially as Joseph was his leader too.

 

Though from the pinched expressions Joseph sometimes failed to hide when John came up… there was the possibility that he had an inkling about the less savory things his baby brother got up in his region.

He was uncannily observant which didn’t mesh with being as blind as people believed him to be even if it was about one of his beloved family.

 

Rook didn’t think that Joseph was the type to forgive and forget. Yeah, he would forgive pretty heavy transgressions and never bring them up again, but he seemed like someone who never forgot things.

 

Rook sat up from her bed and waited until the doctor finished with checking on Jay and John. She signed at him, was met with a blank stare and some panic in his eyes and she sighed.

Figures.

 

Just her luck to get someone who can’t understand her at all. She started miming getting a paper and writing things down when John’s voice cut through the air like a sharp knife.

“She wants to leave the infirmary… The Dep… Sis... Rook wants to check out of the infirmary as soon as possible.”

Rook looked at John for a long moment holding his gaze, before she turned back to the doctor and nodded at his questioning.

Yes, she wanted to leave.

No, she didn’t care, she would go AMA, if needed.

 

John’s kindness was kind of a surprise though. She didn’t know where to put it, but maybe not all hope was lost between them.

 

Granted that didn’t take into account what would happen once she got to talking with Joseph about Deputy Hudson…

 

Because that? That might make everything unsalvageable again.

And it might fuck up a lot more things than she was comfortable with.

 

But she felt like she owed it to the people around her to bring up her concerns to Joseph.

She couldn’t stay quiet about it all.

 

Still, she wasn’t sure what to do, which was a very familiar feeling at this point.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, thank you for waiting. I don't know when the next chapter is coming out, because while I do have it written already, I got stuck around Chapter 10 (which is going to be Chapter 11 on here) around Christmas last year. So now I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing anything, with typing down the second story in this series, it has absolutely no connection to this one, aside from a Rook that's vaguely familiar and it's in John's POV, mostly. We will see what comes out of it.
> 
> So once again, thank you for waiting and thank you all for the kudos and the hits and the comments. I love them all and they made my day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Few long car rides, some realizations, some old faces, some running AKA local idiot finally gets a clue about her own feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rolls in like 2 weeks late with Starbucks* Okay, no. I only have some shitty wine and finally some free time to edit. I'm also going to update chapter count by one, because I've just noticed that with the Epilogue it should be around 14 chapters on AO3, instead of 13. I have 2 chapters left to write and the epilogue and damn, this is one of the last slow-ish chapters. I'm stopping the babbling etc.  
> I hope you enjoy reading! :)

### CHAPTER 9

_In which Rook finally meets some puppies (and their large wolf dad too)_

 

Rook had a crutch under each arm and was waiting for Driss to drop her bag into the truck, while Peaches was already chilling out in the backseat.

 

She took a covert glance at the brothers who were saying goodbye to each other tenderly and she felt like shit for a second or two.

Joseph was probably leaving so early because she and John were acting like cats and dogs.

It was probably selfish of her to accept his offer to leave?

 

Well… not that she had any illusions that it was something that Joseph didn’t actually want to do. He actually didn’t let her say no and didn’t give her a chance to quietly slip away, so it was kind of… his own damn fault? His “I’m disappointed and worried” routine could probably convince even the most stoic person.

 

It was lethal.

 

So Rook ambled to the car and tried to figure out what to do the with the crutches, feeling some of the still healing stitches throb in her legs and sides. She had some bristles already on her shaven head, but it would be a few weeks until it could be called anything more.

She was dressed in some pajama bottoms which were some obscenely expensive brand and she had an inkling on whose closet did they came out of. And that was well and good enough, that they only started somehow slightly getting along with each other after a failed attempt to murder one another. Bonding at its finest.

She never claimed to be a well adjusted person.

 

She opened the door to the passenger seat and braced the crutches at the side of the car with a sigh, leaning her weight against it too. Her eyes dropped down to her slippered feet still on the ground, when someone swaggered up to her and covered the sunlight shining down on her.

“I… Good journey, Dep… Rook.”

She squinted up at John and wondered why was he even there? Why did he give her his stupidly expensive pants to wear? What was this almost complete heel turn in addressing her using her chosen name instead of calling her Deputy left and right?

 

Did Joseph’s “I’m not mad I’m just disappointed” speech hurt him that much?

What was going on behind those pretty blues?

She would have given everything to be actually be able to read minds in that second.

 

So Rook nodded at him and signed a quick but polite goodbye. John shuffled before her for a bit, before he left to go back to the entrance of the bunker and if she wasn’t mistaken, then there was a dusting of red on his face and his ears.

 

Was that some kind of flush of anger?

 

She looked at Joseph who walked up to her with a stoic face, but she could see laughter in his eyes. He dropped down next to the door and helped her get inside the car, careful of her injuries and just gently helping to make her comfortable in her seat, before grabbing the crutches to walk to the back of the car with them.

 

She could see him talking with one of the others who were coming with them in the rearview mirror and she thumped her head against her seat.

She felt vulnerable and helpless and she disliked the feeling immensely.

 

Doors opened up and Driss was in the back next to Peaches, a few cultists hopped up on the bed of the truck, someone manned the turret, Joseph sat down into the driver’s seat.

Rook looked back, but nobody in the car had a helmet, while everyone outside did.

She signed to Joseph, who knocked lightly on the windows.

“Bulletproof glass. This truck is one of the more armored ones.”

Ah, okay. Rook nodded and squirmed around on the seat a bit.

 

If she wasn’t such a stubborn idiot, maybe she could have stayed another few days drugged up to her gills and maybe then she wouldn’t have to be carted around like this.

But her ass was on fire and she didn’t want to live through one more act of John “kicked-puppy” Seed.

And he was doing it again as he knocked on her window, which she rolled down. He already said goodbye to her once, so it must have been something for Joseph.

“Drive safe, brother.”

Rook looked straight forward , before there was a slight shifting sound and John continued.

“Be safe… sister.” Rook stared at him, and John stared back, neither of them backing down from the challenge.

 

What… what the fuck was that?

What did he want?

Was he really blushing a bit?

Why? What the fuck was going on and what kind of game was he playing?

Why is he calling her sister?

And was he flushing because calling her like that was actually painful for him or what?

Wait a second. Didn’t he call her sister once already aside from this one time?

Okay, that wasn’t a hallucination? Or was it?

What was happening?

 

While Rook slowly had a mental breakdown trying to figure out whether there was any hidden meaning behind John’s words and actions, and what could it be possibly if there was, because Joseph would not possibly swallow the implied ‘look at the two of us, we have such a harmonious relationship’ thing after finding them strangling each other, nothing actually showed on her face from any of this. She had settled back a bit more into her seat to make way as Joseph leant across the shift stick and looked out of her window.

“Thank you John, I’ll call you when we’ve safely arrived. But we do have to leave now, so say goodbye dear Rook.”

Rook automatically raised her hand and waved goodbye, brushing Joseph’s shoulders fleetingly, John’s glance darting down.

 

And who would have thought… that was really a blush. Across his cheeks, even the top of his ears were red too.

John Motherfucking Seed was blushing.

 

What was this world coming to?

 

And she knew that he knew that she noticed that he was what? Overwhelmed, embarrassed?

Neither of those seemed like a good qualifier for John, he was one of those people who liked to present a put together view always.

 

Though their little cat fight earlier in the infirmary also didn’t exactly fit into his carefully cultivated appearance either, so who was she to judge what counted as normal for him anyway.

It just seemed unlikely. That’s what she was saying only.

 

John spun around his heels and called out short goodbyes to the others and Rook shook her head.

That was really weird.

 

She cranked up the window and did her seatbelt, then looked at Joseph suspiciously.

Why was he smiling like that?

What was about this whole situation, about any of this entire sequence of events that seemed funny to him?

“What’s so funny?”

He sneaked a look at her as they rolled out of the Gate, the barrier slamming shut when they were a few meters away.

“Nothing, my dear Rook. I’ve just… I haven’t seen my brother act like this in a long time. It figures.”

Act like what?

She could feel her confusion reflect on her face, causing Driss to snort out in the back and Joseph to flash a small smile, before he tamped down on it.

 

As he didn't actually answer her, she decided to prod him a bit.

“Act like what?”

Another choked laugh from the peanut gallery and Rook swung her glare at the idiot in the backseat, who meeped and found something really interesting outside to look at.

With that done she turned back to Joseph to look at him expectantly. He managed to school his face back into his usual serenity, though his eyes couldn’t lie even behind those fugly shades.

He was still amused about something and she was going to found out what the fuck was going on.

“Act like what?” She repeated her previous question pointedly.

She was definitely not letting this one go, because something was not quite right about this any of this. Joseph seemed to mull over his words, but Rook was okay with waiting. They had all day before they got back to Joseph’s Compound with the speed they were going.

“How do I say this? My brother has a type?”

Rook’s eyebrows almost disappeared into her hair, because that was quite a detour. And she wasn’t sure that she quite liked those words coming out of his mouth in relation to herself and John’s previous actions. Both of their actions honestly, but still.

“He always had a soft spot towards people, who stood up against him, who challenged him?”

Okay, that was a bit better. It still didn’t really explain most of John’s behavior, but it was a start.

“You are saying, that after I’ve tried to kill him, he might not think me a complete waste of space?”

Joseph shrugged.

“The two of you started to establish your boundaries. I’d have been happier, if this whole situation wasn’t escalated to this level, but it was a possibility. So, yes I think that you might work your issues out. Eventually.”

Driss had a sudden coughing fit in the back and Rook squinted at him, making him turn back to his tree watching or whatever he was doing. Rook watched Joseph watch the road, before she signed again.

 

“I’m not like you, I can’t forgive just like that. Your brother is a dick.”

Joseph touched her hand while taking one of his off the wheel and squeezed her fingers reassuringly.

“Nobody is asking you to forgive just like that. Both of you are stubborn and God knows how this will actually work out, but I believe that it will be okay somehow.”

It must have been nice to be so sure about things, to have so much faith.

Rook had no idea, how Joseph could have that. She didn’t envy him that was for sure, but on some days she reckoned that it must be nice.

 

And she still didn’t understand how could Joseph forgive her for trying to maim John a little bit, though it seemed like Joseph blamed both of them equally and he was resigned?

Not exactly resigned, but like he knew already that the outcome will be this and while he was optimistic, he was still disappointed.

In both of them.

 

It didn't make much sense, but that was the vibe she got from him.

It made her a bit anxious as she didn’t know where she stood with him… with them all.

Rook slumped down a bit in her seat, covering her eyes with one hand.

 

Okay. She fucked up and it was starting to hit her there right on the passenger seat of the truck.

She messed up so much, she couldn't even believe she almost seriously hurt John for such a ridiculous reason. Even the fact that she was drugged up couldn’t be an excuse for this, she should know how to handle her own emotions.

And despite all that?

She was still incredibly conflicted about the whole thing.

Because she really wasn’t about to apologize, she was still angry and she probably should have handled it all somewhat differently.

 

What do you do when you get interrupted trying to murder a cult’s Herald? What’s the protocol when your almost victim was also incidentally your crush’s baby brother?

Asking for a friend.

~~~

 

They drove in silence for a long time.

 

Rook thought she might have dozed off a few times during the ride and she surely fell asleep at one point, because there was a gentle hand shaking her shoulder and Joseph was calling her name.

 

She startled awake with a jerk, frantically looking around, but there was nothing alarming. They were back in the Compound, Driss and Peaches were out of the car, the others were in various states of disembarking the truck and Joseph was leaning into her.

 

He was really unfairly beautiful and the gentle light from the dashboard did nothing to detract from that.

 

Rook felt her heart squeeze a bit and she wanted to reach out to him, to take his face into her hands and kiss him, but she wasn’t allowed to do that.

 

She would never be allowed to do that.

Her eyes fell to her lap, where she saw her fingers wrapped around his.

 

Oh.

She seemed to have appropriated his hand and forgot to let him go.

 

Which she did now and she looked up at his gentle chuckle. She was blushing a bit, she could see it in the mirror and Joseph leant down to press a small kiss against her forehead, which didn’t really help her to calm down.

Or to get her traitorous heartbeat under control.

 

He slipped out of the car and walked to her side to open up the door. Rook looked around for her crutches but they were nowhere to be seen and she moved her slightly useless legs around to somehow hop onto the ground.

She should have known that Joseph wouldn't let her do something like that and once again she found herself in his arms.

It was a bit more awkward as she was largely lucid and the pain level was more bearable, so she could watch as she was carried across the Compound before all the Eden's Gate members by their Father.

 

She felt like a giant flaming torch and she hid her face in his neck and the cover of her arm.

Well. If she wanted to be honest… it was not all bad.

 

She liked being this close to him, she liked when his attention was on her. He made her feel happy and safe and she started to crave those feeling more and more.

 

She just wished she didn’t make a spectacle of herself right at that moment.

Not that the folks at Eden’s Gate were malicious or anything in her experience even if they were terrible gossips. All this was just a bit too much attention, when all she wanted was to hide away in some dark hole and stay there until she could deal with herself. Or run until she could be somehow okay with facing herself in a mirror.

 

Joke was on her, because she was stuck.

In more than one way, she thought as she squirmed a bit in Joseph’s hold. Not enough to get dropped, but she couldn’t stay still much longer.

They were going toward one of the small white houses around the church, cheerful voices calling out despite of the late hour. Joseph nodded and called back and smiled and Rook was surprised to see some familiar faces.

Aside from the guys that came with them, she thought she had seen cultists she had known before, though they slipped through the crowd with a ridiculous ease.

 

Or maybe she was still loopy enough that whenever her attention got snagged on something it really got her completely absorbed in that thing. So the entire way from point A to point B, in this case from the car to the house - and  eventually the guest room - was just a few blinks for her.

 

Rook got placed down onto white sheets, in a small, clean and fresh smelling room. A doctor came bustling in, Rook blindly reached for Joseph, when she saw the fresh bag of drip appearing out of the medical bag.

Calloused hands grabbed hers gently, blue eyes caught hers almost immediately.

 

She watched Joseph’s face the entire time someone placed an IV back into the canule in her veins and she went back to sleep.

 

Keeping a careful hold of Joseph’s hand, the blue eyes following her too.

~~~

 

Next time she woke up, she was hungry and thirsty. She also needed to pee.

 

She looked at her injuries and peeked under the bandages as much as she could. She wasn’t even surprised that the Bliss did its job and patched her up enough so maybe she could just take care of her basic needs. Bathroom, kitchen.

 

She was still in the loose pyjamas and the knitted sweater from the infirmary was thrown over the back of the only chair in the room.

 

The door creaked a bit when she opened it up and she checked the remaining two doors left and right. They were also small rooms like the one she woke up in, but no bathroom. She hoped there was one downstairs.

Eventually Rook hobbled down the small stairs in her search and froze at the bottom of it.

 

Because there was Joseph curled up in an armchair, glasses slightly crooked on his face, afghan half on the floor, half wrapped up around him.

There was a book falling out of his hands and his rosary was dangling in the air and Rook tried to get there as quickly and as quietly as she could before either of those dropped down and woke him up.

 

He looked tired most of the time and the bags under his eyes could soon be claimed as their own luggage. So she didn’t want to interrupt whatever sleep he finally got during the night.

 

They must have been stressing him out even more with their childishness.

 

Rook gently braced herself on the arms of the chair, plucked the book before it thunked on the ground noisily and put it down onto the small table next to him. She gently looped the rosary back over his wrist then adjusted the blanket so it covered more of him.

 

She debated on taking off the glasses, because they surely weren’t comfortable, but it was risky. He would probably wake up if she wasn’t careful. She didn’t think that once her training would be used to divest a militaristic cult’s prophet’s of his eyewear, so he would have a somewhat peaceful sleep.

Again, what was the world coming to?

 

She nodded to herself after that, before she walked to the bathroom and finished her business. Rook pulled the sweater more together on herself and walked out the front door, with one quick look at the still sleeping man. His breathing was deep and rhythmic, his face almost completely smooth and calm and Rook could feel her smile quirk up lightly.

 

Heh. Good. Even Prophets needed a good night of sleep every now and then.

 

There was a small bench next to the door, so Rook plopped down and watched the last few seconds of the sunrise from there.

 

It was beautiful. Especially against the backdrop of those giant green trees that Hope County was known for. The whole scene was idyllic and Rook didn’t want to start thinking.

She would just make herself sad and it felt like a beautiful enough day that she didn’t want to tarnish it like that.

So she watched the Compound come alive slowly as the minutes trickled.

 

Some Eden’s Gate members walked out of their houses and did a double take at the scarecrow impression she was making outside of their priest’s house, especially when Peaches arrived and dropped her butt down on Rook’s feet. Exactly on her feet, so Rook couldn’t even stand up or move if she wanted to.

 

Rook absentmindedly petted the large head of the rumbling feline and continued watching.

 

It was still quiet even when people started to actually bustle around, like the whole Compound was waiting for something.

Sometimes people hushed each other and yeah, it was pretty clear that they were trying to keep the noise level to the minimum. Probably to let others sleep in a little bit.

Rook shrugged, she didn’t care much, as long as they stayed quiet, hopefully Joseph would stay asleep too and that was good enough for her.

 

She dozed for some time despite the hunger still in her belly.

It was not bad, she wasn’t even close to feeling like she was starving and she was quite comfortable in her spot.

Also there were still some drugs circling in her veins, so that probably made her a bit more prone to not care too much about the time she was losing sitting around doing nothing.

 

Though… what else could she do?

She had no desire to repeat any of those times she was fleeing somewhere half injured, half healed if it was possible. Nobody was going to hurt her here, she was like 70% sure. Maybe even 80%?

And for the remaining however many percents? Well, she wasn’t about to completely drop her guard.

These people were still somewhat strangers to her.

And she was still somewhat of an outsider to them.

Last she saw her drawn face was still on a few wanted posters.

So no. Healthy amount of suspicion and wariness was obviously the way to go.

 

Even if she was in the possibly most protected place of the cult aside from an actual bunker. She knew that every way in was monitored carefully, that all of the three Heralds would sooner chew off their own arms rather than let any Resistance members into this area.

 

This place.

Under her lashes, Rook could see pregnant women walking around, some more easily than others, kids and elderly mixing in the morning bustle. It was markedly different from the population they saw when last time they arrived to arrest the Father, Rook thought.

 

She didn’t care or quite realize how threatening she looked sitting at the door with a giant predator at her beck and call and with her eyes looking at them through slits like she was an apex predator herself.

Not even when she slouched against the white walls, posture more relaxed just soaking in the warm sunlight, was she approached by one of the complete strangers.

 

“Honey?”

Though that didn’t have any meaning when a familiar face did a double take on seeing her in their midst and called out to Rook hesitantly.

Rook cracked open one eye and stared lazily at the woman, who was walking toward them. She clicked her tongue twice to get Peaches to get off, then stood up from the bench.

Even that little sitting helped her get more healed up, the wounds tingling less and less with each passing minute.

 

Rook came to a stop a few meters from Nancy, the plump blonde woman looked at her like she was a ghost and Rook smiled at her.

Or more like she bared her teeth.

She really didn’t know how to feel about Nancy. On one hand she could understand her reasons on being with the Project, even the being undercover part. Rook wasn’t even part of the Department for a long time, so she had no business feeling betrayed by her, like the Sheriff or the other Deputies.

 

Something still was twisting inside her and she tried to untangle the small knot. Previously she didn’t have the time nor the inclination to think about Nancy and her role in all this, how it all began.

 

She had liked Nancy.

Maybe that’s why she felt like shit, maybe that was the reason why she felt a bit angry.

Because either Nancy thought her just a chattel and actually befriended her while knowing that she would be one of the first people to die… or Rook didn’t know.

 

All in all, it pretty much came down to her being something that could be discarded and the whole budding friendship she had with Nancy? It was probably nothing more than wishful thinking on her part.

Well… Rook was surprisingly okay with that.

You win some, you lose some, she thought and relaxed her stance.  There was nothing that Nancy could do to her anymore really.

“Honey, is that really you?”

Rook shrugged, then almost lost her balance, when the older woman barrelled into her. Huh. Okay, that was something of a surprise.

Small hands fluttered around her as they settled on her face while trembling a bit.

 

“Oh honey, what happened to you? Your beautiful hair! You look hurt! You lost weight too!”

Rook raised one eyebrow at the flitting woman and trapped her hands into a grip and pushed them off. That was... quite enough of that.

“Got injured. Almost died a few times. Why do you care?” She asked and stared into teary eyes.

She had zero fucks left to give actually and she just wanted to be sure of one thing finally. Whether this was all just an act or not.

On the other hand she didn’t want to actually know and she knew that it would be some time before she could even think about trusting whatever came out of Nancy’s mouth in the next few minutes.

 

“Honey… Of course, I care!”

Rook’s other eyebrow joined its twin in her hairline at that and she shook Nancy’s hands off completely, causing the older woman to have a more sad expression on her face.

“Like you cared when I got onto that helicopter.”

Nancy spluttered and there was a wry twist to Rook’s mouth. It might have been amusing to see the normally composed and matronly woman lose her cool, though Rook gained no amusement from the whole thing.

 

Nancy opened then closed her mouth a few times and Rook waited patiently.

 

There was some commotion coming from her back and she didn’t look back, instead staring at the blond, who seemed to finally gather her thoughts, now that she had realized that Rook would wait for her.

“I cared. We were supposed to welcome all of you… you were supposed to join us. But you ran and we all thought you died!” Her voice raised an octave and Rook was fascinated a little bit. “You were not supposed to get hurt, you were supposed to be one of us, one of those that could get saved! But now, you are here and…”

 

And Rook never figured out what the slightly hysteric and apologetic woman was going to say, because there was a door slamming open and a frantic voice calling out causing her to immediately spin around without any conscious decisions on her part and start going back toward the house.

Joseph was standing on the doorstep, his hair messed up like he ran his hands through it when he forgot that it was put up in a bun, eyes frantically searching around, one hand still bracing him against the door handle.

 

Blue eyes showed naked relief as Rook briskly walked back to him, leaving Nancy behind without a thought, Joseph eyes checking her over and over again.

 

She smiled at him and she dared to snag one of his hands to squeeze it apologetically. It was clear that she caused some fright to him with the disappearing act she might have done when she was - probably - supposed to be still in bed.

 

Joseph heaved a sigh, other hand coming up to his face to rub at his eyes, Rook before him still holding his hand.

“I… Dear Rook, please wake me up next time.”

Rook shrugged softly, checking him over again. He still looked exhausted, though there was no chance just a few hours of sleeping could do anything about that. It was a good way to start, but it wasn't even close to enough.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Calloused hands around her face and she looked into calm blues, his eyes searching for any sign of her being still in pain or hurt. Rook resolved herself not to show any of the tingles and discomfort she was feeling, because that would only worry him more.

 

Not that she had any illusion that he didn’t realize exactly what level of pain she was in.

 

Joseph shook his head and if he was anyone else then Rook would have bet that he bit back some grumbling about stubborn idiots.

 

She had to tamp down a small smile at the thought. And she had an inkling what his next question would be…

 

“Have you eaten yet?”

Good old mother hen Joseph. Always taking care of everyone and everything.

 

Rook shook her head and there was a small light in Joseph’s eyes at that and Rook thought that there it was. That precious little glow that showed he was happy and content.

It was honestly cute and made her feel warm.

 

Joseph nodded and there was a gentle pressure at her side, one large hand barely touching her on her hips, guiding her back to the house, while talking to her quietly.

“I’m going to bring you something to eat, but it would be better if you laid down for a few hours more…”

Rook let him walk her away from Nancy and all she represented with no complaints.

 

She was already feeling tired and the short relief from pain was slowly going away.

~~~

 

She startled awake almost violently again, disoriented for a few seconds.

 

Rook blinked up at the wooden ceiling, trying to figure out what the heck happened and where was she lying down.

And why she wasn’t actually panicking about waking up like this, when she was dressed in what she was sure was a man’s pyjamas.

 

Oh, right.

 

She was in the Compound. She went upstairs before breakfast, Joseph left, she laid down and fell asleep.

Okay. She heaved herself up, feeling twinges in her sides but nothing too bad at that moment.

 

She looked out the window and saw that it was around noon. She wondered whether the meds made her drowsy too or was that just her less than stellar record with her health.

 

Nevermind, it wasn’t like she had anywhere to be.

 

She stood up and walked to her bag and took out a change of clothing. She really wanted a shower though she wasn’t sure about getting the bandages, stitches or whatever wet.

The Compound probably had a medic or something, but she was getting fed up with complete strangers’ hands touching her body.

 

She didn’t even try to take off the soft pants, just changed her shirt for an oversized plaid one. She still felt cold despite the sun shining bright outside, so she tried to find her hoodie.

And it was a completely lost cause because something spilled on it and she didn't get it clean fast enough.

 

Blood. It was blood, okay?

She bled on it, forgot about it and it seeped into the material and no amount of scrubbing in cold water would get the stain out.

 

If she was somewhere deep in the forest she would wear the shit out of, because it was wonderfully warm and she would give no shits about it. But here in the middle of the busy Compound, with children around?

 

Someone would doubtlessly freak out and she had no desire to try to explain what happened to that hoodie.

 

So she rubbed her arms for a bit and peered into the wardrobe which didn’t have much in the ways of clothing.

 

Rook nodded and fished out a blanket throw to drape it over herself.

Having a blanket cape was always good enough in her opinion when one wanted to stay in.

 

And she was most definitely not ready to go outside lest she ran into Nancy or someone familiar again.

No, she was hoping that this house had some kind of privacy and Joseph’s flock didn’t barge into their preacher’s place for every little thing.

 

She walked down and there was no confusing priest sitting in a chair, so she guessed he was out there somewhere causing moral conflict for someone else once.

 

Okay. That was somewhat uncharitable.

And really rude of her even if she never said it out loud. It was her own fucked up-ness.

 

Joseph wasn’t responsible for her crush on him.

Though wasn’t he responsible just a little bit, one could ask.  

Really with his words, his actions, his general everything?

No.

Joseph wasn’t responsible for her wanting to listen to him day and night.

Joseph wasn’t responsible for her wanting to be in his presence.

To want to have his attention completely focused on her.

To want to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him, to…

 

She was a grown woman, she should be able to handle when someone was unattainable.

 

She drifted into the kitchen and found some food with a note left on it.

 

God fucking damn it, that man was going to kill her one day, she knew.

She was an adult woman. He was an adult man.

 

Who was so completely out of her league, they didn’t even play the same sports on the same planet.

 

He was not hers to love like that.

He would never be hers to love like that.

 

Something obscured her vision and she had to blink rapidly to clear her eyes and whet her throat.

Damn, those drugs might made her a bit too weepy though.

 

She was an adult woman, she thought and held her head up in her hands, tears running over her nose into the uncovered plate of scrambled eggs.

It still fucking hurt.

 

It hurt so fucking much and she was furious at herself. Look at her, there she was a grown woman, weeping into her eggs, because she realized that she loved someone she shouldn't.

What the hell was she doing? When did she become someone like this?

Why was this the last straw?

She choked down a sob again, pushing herself back from the table and staggering over to the living room.

 

The whole house smelled like him and all she could see were various knick-knacks and his possessions strewn around.

Okay, she needed to get away a bit.

She needed some distance to clear her head, she needed to…

 

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

 

Someone was in the house.

Someone was in the house with her.

Someone saw her go completely mental.

And it wasn’t just someone.

Jacob Seed was reclining on the couch, blue eyes boring into her own horrified ones.

 

Well, shit.

 

He was not wearing his combat boots, though with his feet up on the coffee table, she didn’t think that Joseph would be happy with dirt stains on his things.

Even that small concession didn’t make him any less intimidating than the last time she saw him from the inside of a cage.

 

He looked the same, red hair, scars, dog tags, camo and all. Same intensity, same piercing stare, same deep voice.

 

She sniffed, but she didn’t turn away.

Maybe she should have been ashamed of crying? Maybe she should have tried to hide the redness of her eyes, the tear tracks?

Well, no. He had probably seen people in worse states than she was in at that moment.

There was nothing to be ashamed of in crying.

Just a basic human reaction.

And it wasn’t like he knew exactly what broke the camel’s back, why she was bawling her eyes out in the middle of his little brother’s living room during the day, with everyone out.

 

He wasn’t a mind reader as far as she knew.

 

Rook wondered for a second what he saw when he looked at her, before she remembered that no, she didn’t actually want to know. She didn’t want to impress him, she probably never could, though it would be nice if he didn’t just see her at one of her lowest points. This wasn’t like being in the cage…

 

But no.

Let him look his fill.

He could not do too many things to hurt her. Not anymore.

Maybe it was fucking idiotic of her. Logically she knew that Jacob was really fucking dangerous and he probably could really fuck her up, but she was feeling reckless at the moment.

 

Maybe she really did have some self destructive tendencies.

Not to the point of being suicidal or anything, but she was fucked up she could and would admit that easily.

 

And she recognized something in Jacob too, in that split second when she first looked at him just realizing that she wasn’t as alone as she thought that it was him witnessing her private moments.

 

Everything screamed soldier about him. It was familiar, it was - did she dare to actually say it - comforting in a different way from Joseph’s own brand of comfort.

She looked at Jacob and saw some of herself in him.

 

Neither of them left their previous life behind completely healthy and sound in mind. Every one of them saw some shit or did some shit which scarred them for life even more.

Shit happened and she would bet that Jacob was just as fucked up as her behind the collected and calm surface.

 

So she made a decision then.

She staggered over to the couch and stood over him, gesturing for him to scooch over a bit.

He did it with a raised eyebrow, not losing his placidness, though there was something new in his eyes.

She dropped down next to him, gathering up the blanket a bit more around herself.

 

They sat there for several long minutes, Rook staring at the bookcase before her, not actually seeing anything, while Jacob stared at her profile, probably seeing way too much than she was actually comfortable with anyone knowing.

She didn’t actually have a choice, she could not turn off his focus more than she could turn hers off.

It was second nature for them both at that point.

Always watching, always calculating everything.

Judging situations, distances, juggling methods always in the back of their minds.

 

She wiggled her toes in the carpet, the movement catching Jacob’s attention too and they watched the silvery scars moving criss crossing on her skin with every flex of her feet.

Jacob sighed, Rook stared down at the blue material covering her legs.

 

“We have a small problem. You and me.”

Rook nodded, turned herself around a bit to face him head on. Anything else would be suicide when Jacob Seed had his complete focus on someone.

 

“You made one hell of a mess out of our family in the last few months.”

Rook inclined her head at that. It was true.

Though it wasn’t exactly her fault as she wasn’t the one chasing the Seeds. None of them would leave her alone, none of them let her get away from all of this.

All of them were fucking guilty in that. She was pretty much just rolling with the punches.

Sometimes she reacted, some she counteracted.

 

“Every one of my siblings have been up in the arms about you for some reason, while we both know that you are a really fucking big risk to all of us at the moment.”

What the fuck was with both John and Jacob making a point to point out how she was a danger to them? Okay, let’s think about it rationally, for a second.

 

She was an outsider and she didn’t have any commitments to them at all aside from some new and somewhat fragile bonds. She was a relatively unknown person who got really close to their older and younger brother.

Yeah, with all of everything that was going on, their paranoia probably wasn’t at all too paranoid, it was justified caution.

Especially if Joseph’s Book had even an inkling of truth in it.

 

Why the fuck were they even letting her walk around them like that?

 

Once again she was struck by questions.

What the hell did they want her for, that she was shown favor like this?

 

“I'm not sure if my brother is really talking to God or not. Honestly I don’t even care. However I know that I’d do anything to see him, to see them all safe. So if Joseph wants you to join us, if he believes that you will stay around... then I can work with that.”

Blue and dark clashed, a red head cocked to the side slightly in question.

 

“And I think that you have already decided whether you want to stay with us or leave, isn’t that right, Sarge?” He leant forward a little bit, but didn’t try to touch her, just made sure that his words carried a certain gravity to them. “So if you are on our side  you will come with me to the Mountains tonight.”

Rook felt her eyes narrow, face turning blank rapidly. Jacob stretched a little, before he stood up and walked toward the stairs without looking back.

 

“We are going to have to work out all those little kinks, Sarge.”

~~~

 

Thing was… well the thing was that Rook didn’t actually have a choice. Not anymore.

She was already too deep in all of this, too chummy with Eden’s Gate, with most of the Seeds.

She had no other choice really.

 

So she went upstairs, got one of the older and too large jeans and changed into them. Thankfully they have been cleaned during her stay at the Ranch, so it wasn’t a problem that in the next moment she had to sit down on the bedcovers.

Rook had the sudden urge to scream a little bit.

 

The last few days had been somewhat emotionally taxing and she didn’t know how to even begin to process any of those things. She needed to get away from Joseph for a bit, so that she can finally deal and come to terms with her feelings for him and this whole trip to the Mountains was going to be a good enough reason to leave without seeming like she was abandoning ship after she almost murdered one of theirs.

Their baby brother to boot.

 

A big fucking mess. That she was.

 

She wondered whether Jacob was going to take his pound of flesh for trying to strangle John. He seemed like  a person who would take issue with someone trying to harm someone who was his to protect.

Joseph was Joseph, he wielded disappointment like a weapon. A very effective weapon, but Rook still waited for the other shoe to fall.

Maybe this was it? Maybe Jacob was there for that exact reason and she should take it as a punishment. Or maybe it wasn’t supposed to be a punishment and it was just coincidence that Jacob was there and giving her a choice.

 

To be honest it felt like the last chance to leave.

It felt like if she said no, if she slipped away, this whole thing would close to her forever.

 

And she finally had to decide.

What would happen if she left?

 

She knew that she couldn’t go back to staying out of all of this war. If she left Eden’s Gate, she would have to approach the Resistance which would mean fighting against Faith, Joseph and John and all the others she came to know in the last few months.

 

The Resistance would make her hurt them, make her kill them and even if she did they would never trust her enough.

 

She could go and start raiding prepper stashes and try to find a bunker to lay low for a while, but she knew that something was coming.

And it seemed the only people properly preparing were the doomsday cult. All the prepper stashes she had found so far have been full of ammo and guns, not actual things useful for a person who intended to live there for years possibly. Maybe the few preserves and cans of food would last a few weeks if rationed well, but if she got stuck in a bunker like that and couldn’t leave for months, she couldn’t eat the guns. From what she had seen so far, the cult didn’t actually stockpile ammo and weapons. They hoarded plants, machinery, medical stuff and food.

All of those and how John’s bunker looked and with what was written in Joseph’s Book?

 

It was clear that they were settling in for a longer stay underground. Probably several years, possibly even a decade, if shit came down. Faith’s greenhouses only strengthened her beliefs that they were in for a longer haul, something actual self sustaining.

 

So she could leave, could run. She could run to the Resistance, put her head into sand about the very real possibility that something terrible will happen soon - and she really didn’t need to be God’s Prophet to realize that - and she would just need to hurt those she liked.

 

No.

 

That wasn’t even an option.

 

She was selfish and she was fucked up, she knew that. Loyalty was always one of her faults.

She didn’t know when the Seeds and the cultists won her loyalty and she honestly didn’t care.

If she survived whatever Jacob threw at her, she would…

 

There was a knock interrupting her musings and she raised her head a little bit to see who was standing in the open door.

Maybe she should have been more surprised that it was Joseph but she was past the point. Of course it was him. She really didn’t think that they would leave without Joseph seeing them off, he just wasn’t the type to do that.

Maybe that’s why she didn’t really think that Jacob being there and the _request_ to leave with him was something that came from Joseph.

 

It should have.

 

She really assaulted his little brother and nothing would make up for that. Not even taking into the account that John has been itching for a fight with her, that he baited her for weeks before she finally snapped. Looking back, it was clear that he was doing everything to test her patience.

 

She still should have held out, she should have known better, she should have done better.

She shouldn’t have stooped down to that level.

 

“Rook? Can I come in?”

She looked at him and nodded with some delay, because at first she didn’t understand why he was asking her permission to move around in his own house.

Then realized suddenly that it was common courtesy that if someone occupied one of your guest rooms then you didn’t just barge in. Her manners were getting rusty if she needed actual time to remember that. Her grandmother would have had her hide if she was still alive.

 

And Joseph went out of his way to respect her bodily autonomy, she wasn’t completely blind to any of that. She noticed it a long time ago.

He always asked permission, he always waited for her to consent, he almost never touched her without asking her first then waiting for her answer.

She was still really fucking grateful for that.

 

“Jacob told me that you were leaving with him… was it something… did I… did I make you somewhat uncomfortable?” The pauses, the tone, the face, the eyes.

Neither of those compute for a few seconds at all.

Only one thought ran through Rook’s mind.

 

What?

Seriously what?

 

Rook blinked a few times, trying to understand the hesitant question. Even the halting way wasn’t really in character for Joseph. He pretty much always knew what to say and how to say it. The laying the blame at his own feet, the taking of every blame for whatever happened thing seemed to be a trait she started to really dislike.

He didn’t need to self flagellate for others’ mistakes.

 

She didn’t answer and next she knew he seemed to deflate and started to back out of the room, his face in a placid mask, but his eyes? His eyes made her scramble up from her slouch, just to make him stop.

 

She stood up too fast, making herself stagger when her legs started protesting and Joseph took an instinctive step towards her to catch her if she fell, before he withdrew with a small furrow between his eyebrows.

He still looked ready to leap, but now he was more hesitant, more unsure about the welcomeness of his touch when she was leaving and he believed that it was his fault. Which was bullshit on a lot of levels.

 

She walked to his tense form and reached up to lightly touch his face. He inclined his head in permission and her fingers slid through the hair on the back of his neck to make him lean down a little bit.

Foreheads gently touching, there was a small war in his eyes, emotions shifting too rapidly for her to discern them all.

She saw sadness, confusion, disbelief maybe. Relief?

It was hard, okay? She was observant of actions, but this was a whole new level. Identifying emotions like this wasn’t exactly in her skillset anymore, she was very rusty.

 

And she was a selfish, selfish woman.

This was for her own benefit just as much as it was to soothe him, to make him realize that he did nothing wrong. She was the one who fucked up.

And even if he didn’t want to punish her, she felt like she needed to atone. So yeah, going with Jacob would also help with that.

She didn’t know how to express all that, but she hoped that she didn’t need to.

“You did nothing wrong. I’m going with J-A-C-O-B, because we have things to work out.” She hesitated before adding. “I need to figure out some things.”

He went blank, except his eyes and he misunderstood her and she hated herself, because how the hell was she even fucking this up?

“Our doors will always be open to you, dear Rook…”

 

Rook panicked.

 

He was pulling away and he still looked gutted and she didn’t know what to say to make that look go away, so yeah she panicked a bit.

She raised her other hand to his face and didn’t let him move. She tried to make him understand without words, but it didn’t work, so she made him lean down a lot more and she kissed his forehead softly.

 

It was somewhat an impulsive decision, but…  it could have been worse.

She had almost actually kissed him, before she remembered that okay, man of cloth. She shouldn’t have even done that, but it was a benign thing in all honesty and she had seen him do it to a lot of people he was closer to over the course of the last few weeks. Even she got her fair share of forehead kisses at times.

 

He blinked up at her and she was blushing but she held his gaze.

He would not make fun of her and she hoped that at least something went through to him. Hell knows that she had no idea on how to articulate anything at the moment.

 

There was a small smile on his face and she let him go like he was suddenly a hot poker. Joseph didn’t let her go far, he gently caught her left wrist and brought it close to his mouth to gently press his lips against her fingers.

Rook’s brain shorted out, her mouth fell open and she went even more red.

 

There was something about him at that moment, something that she didn’t know what it meant. Yet, it wasn’t a completely new thing, she had seen that look in his eyes several times before. She just wasn’t sure what it meant.

On anyone else she would say it was hunger… but that didn’t make any sense.

Her mouth was completely dry and she had to swallow a few times.

He held her for a minute which felt like hours to her, before he gently released her wrist, his fingers leaving a trail on her skin.

 

She could still feel him on her pulse.

Her arm fell down and she spun around to grab her bag. Joseph stood to the side, letting her rush out the door and down the stairs to the really big armored truck that was waiting down there, Jacob talking with an older woman.

Thankfully her injuries allowed her to have some dignity at least by that time.

 

Rook knew that Joseph was following her down.

She sneaked a few glances at him as she was power walking out of the house, something in her breathless at the way he was moving.

 

Careful, measured, relentless, sure and fluid?

He prowled pretty much and it was doing things to her.

Good God almighty whatever did I do? She had to bite back a whimper as she thought that, because that? That wasn’t fair.

She didn’t need more fodder for the inappropriate feelings or thoughts she had. She needed the exact fucking opposite of that.

 

She passed Jacob, who seemed like he only recently woke up from a nap, as he just grunted at her and nodded towards the passenger seat. Rook called for Peaches and there was an answering mreow out from the backseat already.

Rook stared at the purring feline before staring at Jacob, before turning back to Peaches.

She didn’t want to know.

She dropped her duffel into the seat and leant over a bit of the top of the truck just looking at people. Jacob and Joseph seemed to argue a little bit, not much, but she wasn’t about to strain herself trying to figure out what was that about. It was their own business.

 

Her eyes caught Nancy’s across the Compound and the older woman waved at her after a few seconds hesitantly. Rook waved back.

It made Nancy light up and Rook didn’t hold a serious grudge towards her. Maybe forgiving sometimes might be a workable alternative?

Rook had to stifle a snort.

Hah! Yeah, no.

Well, she would better leave all that to Joseph. She was good with being a vindictive little bitch about 90% of the time.

 

Jacob grunted one last time at his brother then got behind the wheel, Rook got down from the top and hesitated about getting into the car, because Joseph started walking around the truck.

She waited for him, door open, her hands clenching and unclenching at her side. There was some cold sweat on her back and it wasn’t from the pain, just plain old nervous sweat.

He smiled at her softly and she smiled back reflexively.

 

That was it for almost a minute. Just her smiling back at him like a fucking idiot, not even trying to say anything, her mind completely blank.

 

Until, there was a sigh from behind and Jacob rapped his knuckles on the dashboard and a loud throat clearing, making them both startle at the sudden noises.

Joseph recovered faster than her and they said goodbye.

 

Rook didn’t quite remember what she signed after she got in the car and they rolled out of the walled off area, until Jacob snorted once.

Then again.

 

Then he started laughing and Rook wanted to dig a hole and just disappear.

 

It was a rather long ride to the Mountains.

~~~

 

Every time Jacob seemed to wind down, he took one look at her red face and slumped form and he started chuckling again, muttering about emotionally incompetent idiots.

 

After a while, he seemed to get over the whole embarrassing experience, though Rook could already guess that he would not forget.

Thankfully he didn’t actually bring it up.

 

He might have had his fill of laughing at her obvious crush on his brother, but he wasn’t as much of a dick to bring it up. For the moment.

She was sure that he would not leave it alone, but every second he didn’t, was good enough for her peace of mind.

 

So yeah, the two of them eventually lapsed into silence and spent the remaining car ride to one of the outposts in silence. It shouldn’t have been a too long car ride, they actually passed some Eden’s Gate properties but Jacob seemed intent on a specific place.

Deeper in the mountains, though Rook was sure after half an hour in that they weren’t going to the Hospital.

No, they were going somewhere else.

 

She wasn’t very concerned about it. Even if Jacob dumped her in the middle of the forest in some attempt to… get revenge on his brother or to ‘train’ her, she could just disappear in the forest and pop up in one of the outposts later.

Hm.

That’s a possible option. She could definitely do that, if it came down to it.

It might cause some heart attacks, but eh. Not exactly her problem.

 

By the time they reached a large building it was dark outside and they have been twisting and turning for hours on the roads.

Jacob might have intentionally drove like that so she would get confused or unsure about where she was, but it actually made no difference. Rook sat relaxed in her seat, staring out into the trees and for all appearance she was ignoring every glance thrown at her from the driver’s seat.

But yeah, she could definitely see him doing that.

He wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it, so it’s not like it was hard.

 

And around and around they went circling the building a few times, before they reached the top of the hill and it was surrounded by a chain fence and there were people patrolling.

Well, hunters actually. With wolves.

 

The Chosen and the Judges.

That was their name, she remembered.

 

The protectors of Eden's Gate. The soldiers and the guardians. Kind of fitting actually.

 

Jacob killed the engine and got out of the truck, Rook following him close behind. He nodded occasionally to the patrolling people, but he led her right into the main building.

It didn't take more than a few seconds for Rook to put it all together, the ground’s layout, the inside of the building, to come up with two words. Training center.

 

She also had some suspicions why was she brought there, though she kinda hoped she was mistaken. She had no desire to go through another boot camp again if she had any say in the decision.

Well… she really didn't believe in lying to herself much so she had to admit that she didn't have much say in what would happen to her.

 

Essentially she was at Jacob’s mercy.

God help her, she thought and had to swallow against her suddenly dry throat.

She felt like she walked into her own doom.

But at least it was with a straight back and a raised head.

 

They went toward the loudest noises in the building and found themselves in a small mess hall. Completely filled with dirty people in various states of undress.

Not that they seemed to care too much, most of them just continued munching on their dinner while only a few perked up at seeing a new face.

They were either very new and not completely exhausted yet or they were old timers and very used to the schedule.

And there must be a schedule because Rook had a sudden remembrance to pretty much every camp she had ever spent time in. There was always a schedule as it promoted order and routine. Which was needed when a lot of people were let together in a competitive ground under a lot of stress, doing something as violent as combat training.

 

There was a hand suddenly on her shoulder and Jacob was standing right behind her. All of them were suddenly alert like a flip was switched. Rook was suddenly reminded about a a pack of wolves which seemed once again a very fitting image.

“This is Rook.” He said as he clapped twice on the juncture of her shoulders and neck. It felt a bit paternal and that thought was disturbing enough for her not to contemplate any further. “She will observe for now, but she will join the drills soon.”

And with that his hands dropped from her shoulders and with one last nod he strode out of the room, leaving her completely alone with 12 pair of eyes staring at her curiously from various spots.

 

Rook hesitantly waved feeling once again like a deer caught in headlights because of the attention she got. Some waved back, some greeted her cheerfully, some of them stood up and herded her toward one of benches where they squeezed around freeing up a spot for her.

 

It was nice.

 

There was a camaraderie between them all, but they were obviously tired and they didn’t press her for anything. It got quite clear that while only a few of them could use sign language, military signs were understood mostly by them all. They even had their bastardized version of ASL mixed with marine gestures.

 

Rook gradually relaxed as she was included in some discussions while the chatter picked up from where they were interrupted.

Nothing important or serious.

 

Just general talks about likes and dislikes, what could be the food next day, things like that. Someone whined about pumpkin pie of all things, while someone else had an anecdote about a chef who went around asking people to bring him roadkills of all things.

 

And that was her first real introduction towards the Chosen of Eden’s Gate.

~~~

 

With that done, Jacob left the Chalet immediately.

 

Some of the guys said that he went probably back to the Hospital, the Armory or the Quarry. So far her experience with them was that they were all freaking gossips and every one of them had their own theory where their Herald went.

Sometimes they even argued about it during meal times, during drills, during showering. To be honest pretty much everywhere.

 

Rook didn’t find her next few days with the Chosen bad or hard.

 

It was still tiring, especially when she got the okay from the doc who arrived the next day and she started joining the training.

But it was certainly nice.

 

She had her own bunk, she got three meals a day, she got her training refreshed, she got a few sets of workout clothes, Peaches ran around during the day, but arrived at 7 pm on the dot every day much to the excitement to the guys around, because they loved her little murder kitty and the spoiled little shit ate up every scrap of the attention she got.

 

After spending every waking hour together it was kind of given that they got used to each other pretty quickly. Each other’s little quirks, imperfections, things that made them all human.

 

Like the first time after a particularly hot day, after they did suicides all morning she just couldn’t give a shit anymore. She started to take off her drenched layers, not caring at all. She knew that most of them had scars, most of them had a hard life and she knew that nobody would judge her.

She was a survivor, the silvery ropes on her skin only reinforced that.

 

It was a throwback to her old life. She missed being part of an unit like this. She missed the drills, she missed having a goal, she missed having people at her back, she missed the routine. She even missed the bone deep exhaustion they got after a hard day, when the DI worked them so hard they couldn’t even think anymore. She missed it all.

 

It was a heady realization, that maybe that part of her life wasn’t truly gone.

 

Needless to say the last two weeks certainly made her feel the most relaxed she had ever been since she got discharged, even if she spent 99% of her time breathing in the same air as 12 other people did.

 

So it was fucking given that something would start fucking it up the moment she really started to feel secure in Stone Ridge Chalet.

 

It all started when some dumb fuck rolled through the gates who insisted that their name was the Cook.

~~~

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Also thank you for the comments, for the hits and the kudos. As always you guys rock!


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